Stupid world.

I just wanted to take my finals and enjoy my summer break.

Okay, I was going to get a really stressful internship, but I would have enjoyed it because I would be closer to graduating and establishing new networks and all those crazy buzzwords everyone talks about.

Instead, I was being fire-manned carried by a dude who looked like Rock Lee running on a thin metal rail toward a burning train, zombies, and potentially hostile foresters. Although I was pretty sure the star jump rod must be an explosive or something.

I was slung over James' shoulder like a bag of potatoes, so I had to crane my head to see the train. I didn't want to disrupt his balance, and I hate looking at things that scare me, so I was giving myself a break to just look backwards. I hope Mr. Prattalike was okay. I had a terrible feeling he was the type of character who disappeared in the pilot episode only to come back in season three to get the views up again and reintroduce important plot elements the writers forgot to include in the ongoing seasons.

This meant that I got to see foresters following us.

None of them wore distinguishing clothes so I could tell who was good or bad. Honestly, it was depressing how popular tweed was in this stupid steam punk world. Naruto never wore tweed in his quest to become the hokage, did he?

Actually, thinking about it, I'm not sure I watched all the episodes. Did he ever wear tweed?

That was beside the point.

"We have people behind us."

Rock heard my warning. "They won't come closer if they are friendly. Maybe they are escorting us."

"They are gaining on us."

"They may be friendly." he said.

"They seem mean." I said. And they did seem angry and a little bit evil looking. Menacing at least.

I know, don't judge a book by its cover. But that's the point of book covers, to help potential readers get interested in books. Also, after the ilk queen lady, I was not above snap judgements. I didn't have three weeks to find out if they were good people underneath. In a real life situations, you had to make your decisions and live with the consequences.

Rock gulped. "Maybe they are hungry?" He said.

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I wanted to sigh.

How did I have better survival instincts than James? Seriously. I was trying to base everyone on movie and book tropes. How was I the one better at making decisions than the ninja guy who could run on tree limbs and thin rails carrying me?

"Yes, they are chasing us because they are hangry. Just get me to the engineer lady, maybe she has a snickers bar."

We ran out of time to talk as the first forester approached us.

They were not hangry.

At least this one wasn't.

Well, the good news: Rock Lee was good at fighting.

The bad news: Rock Lee was burdened with a bag of potatoes (that's me)

The forester moved from the rail next to us to the same rail, feet a crazy flutter of speed and steadiness as he kicked at us.

James moved impossibly, elegantly, easily dodging the flurry of kicks, then faster than a heart beat, Rock planted one foot firmly on the thin rail and used his other to intercept the attacker's kick.

I heard a crack, and it didn't come from James.

James didn't stop though. He pivoted, just enough, and his next kick made contact with the attackers ribs, and before the sound of that impact reached my ears, then Rock, without setting the leg down, brought it into his chest then kicked out in a classic side kick, expect the forester went flying off the rail. Not just a few feet. But flying like he had been hit with a truck. He struck a far tree with another terrible crack, and slowly slid down, amid a shower of leaves.

I swear, there was even the standard anime flash and sparkling. James may be young, about my age or a little younger, but he was clearly the better and stronger opponent.

Then we were alone on our rail, the foresters who had been gaining on us pulling back and watching.

I realize, having watched them chase after us before, that they may have a chance if they gang up, but after watching the fight I realized James was a class above this lot. It was like the difference between someone who learned to play guitar a few months ago compared a classically trained musician. They merely scratched the surface of the art, while James had explored those far reaches for the vast part of his life.

"Ask them if they want me to beat them up too." James whispered to me. "But...um...make it sound impressive. Like...fighters do. Like...can you do insults?"

Oh my gosh.

He was fine beating their butts. He hadn't even been that burdened fighting while holding me.

But he was too shy to talk smack.

It was not often my special super power was called upon.

But I, too, was well trained in my art.

I accepted his commission.

"Seriously, are you guys all such amateurs? Really, send your best next time."

They looked at me, confused.

That's fine. I was just getting started. I kept my volume the same, but I switched so it looked like I was talking to Rock (although my words were still for the attacking foresters.) "Hey, Rock. Don't play with your food next time, it's bad manners. It makes them hope that they could one day actually be worthy of praise. It's cruel to get their hopes up."

There was sound of displeasure.

I looked back at them. "Can you guys hurry up? We have places to be. I mean...You guys just lost to a dude with a bowl cut hair cut, carrying a girl who's crying. And he did it with just one leg."

Their faces crumpled, then seethed with something akin to anger. I hope it was passion.

My logical brain told me I had done enough.

Too bad smart mouth was activated.

It was too powerful, I couldn't stop myself.

"Basically, guys, what I'm saying it: Buckle up buttercups. It's time to enter the thunder dome."

Well, they were officially angry now.

I just realized. I really hoped Rock could handle them. Cause I had whipped them up.