Since I’ve met Léam, I feel like I’ve learned quite a bit of psychology. Stumbling my way forward, I’ve managed to improve in many ways. Especially with my fear of talking to strangers. Even though I don’t give in to that fear anymore, it’s not easy for me to calmly engage. I still feel so awkward.
Luckily Léam and I instantly broke the ice when I was dead. Which made it easier for me to talk with him. Just as well, I cringe at the memory of how I acted before he confessed to not being able to mind read and or communicate through thoughts. Turns out his ability is more like communicating with the dead. Meanwhile I was stressing over my lack of privacy for over a month.
Today though, I seem to not be succeeding in my interactions with anyone so far. Léam said that in order to talk comfortably or informally with someone I would one: have to break the ice in an impactful way. Which can sometimes have a negative effect if the situation is not read accurately. It would just end up making people feel uncomfortable with me. The other way is chipping away at the ice slowly through small interactions that build trust. For this one, I would need to politely make the other person lower their guard by making them feel comfortable and or safe. So far, I’m failing at both.
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The orphanage that I’m currently staying at is called “Hope.” It’s not something grand, it’s just a small building with approximately fifteen to twenty rooms. The walls are old, the floors are cracked, and the ceiling seems to have a few holes where rain probably leaks through. The children and teenagers don’t particularly seem to have any nice clothes. Probably hand me downs or donations. Which in turn makes me feel uncomfortable, because the training clothes Léam provided me with are quite modern and fashionable. It’s hard not to feel like I’m mocking them. I can feel how their gaze pierce me when I walk by. This is really not going to help with my interactions.
After I completed my training, I reported it to Mama Doris. A title that I will be keeping to myself for a while until I grow on her.
“I‘ve finished my daily training, is there some tasks you would like me to help with or participate in?” I ask while trying my best to be polite.
“Here everyone carries their own weight, you will attend classes with your peers, and you will help them with the chores as well as the cooking.” Says Mama Doris.
“Understood,” I replied.
“I’ve taken the liberty of pairing you up with Thea on most of your tasks. I’ve instructed her to guide you. Go and meet up with her.” commanded Mama Doris while looking me dead in the eyes.
As I took my leave and made my way to my current room through the hallway, I got this uncomfortable feeling setting over me as if I was being watched. Thats when I spotted some of my other peers giving me odd looks. Some would glare and whisper. Others would have this expression of annoyance, and some would laugh as they glance at their friends and back at me. Just as I suspected my attire had granted me this warm welcome, I sighed.
Once I reached the door of the room I shared with Thea, I stopped, I heard someone in there with her. Seems to be a male’s voice coming from inside the room. No, did Thea bring her boyfriend in, I contemplated. Fuck how should I act in this situation? I don’t want to make our interactions even worse.
In the end I remembered that I wasn’t going to be here long and decided to be open to the situation. I opened the door and walked in with the most stoic expression I could muster. “Ah you must be Heli, I’m Terran nice to meet you.” The boy that was standing before me had a slim, yet athletic body and short green hair combed to the side. The one thing that caught my attention instantly though, were his ears. “You’re an e-elf?” I asked almost fumbling my words.
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“We are half elves,” he responds.
“We?” I ask, tilting my head.
“Yes, Thea and I are twins.” Replied Terran swinging his arm towards Thea.
Guided by Terran’s hand, I looked over at Thea as she lifted her hair exposing the feature to clear things up.
“You can close your mouth now.” Said Thea with an annoyed tone and an irked expression.
Not realizing that I had involuntarily reacted that way. I do as I was instructed while apologizing. Terran though, was laughing at my whole situation, which made Thea increasingly more irritated with me. “Well, this is going well” I sarcastically whispered.
“Sorry about that I’m Heli nice to meet you,” I said as I extended my hand trying to reset our introduction.
“Likewise,” replied Terran with a smile, shaking my hand unlike his delightful sibling.
“Are there any other elves or dwarves here?” I asked, looking at Thea and back at Terran.
“No, it’s just the two of us,” replied Terran. “Even though most of the races have started working together, discrimination still exists.” At that moment I noticed how Thea bit her lip as she tried to avert her gaze. Her obvious action told me that she was uncomfortable with this conversation. “We- well we aren’t really accepted with either race,” continued Terran “and well you could say we were either lucky or unlucky depending on where you stand, to have found Madam Doris. She was willing to take us in when she found out we were abandoned.” I wanted to know more, but I noticed how increasingly uncomfortable Thea was getting. So Terran and I decided that was a good time to stop.
“This is where I take my leave. I, too have chores to get to,” said Terran as he left.
Soon after Thea and I stepped out and made our way to the kitchen. The furniture looked old. Most of the paint was peeling off the three ranges. The fridge that looked to have been white once was now discolored.
Thea and I were tasked with washing the dishes and to my surprise they were all metal. I asked Thea about it but all I got was “isn’t it obvious?” So, after some thought I deduced it was likely so the children wouldn’t break them.
Once we started to wash the dishes, I noticed a clear difference in how we each did it. Thea had a setup: She began by cleaning the grime from most of them before soaping and rinsing them. While I did everything in threes. I cleaned the grime off three dishes then I soaped them followed by a rinse and onto the drying rack. The longer we progressed the clearer the difference in our speed was made apparent. Every few minutes I could hear Thea whisper a complaint about how I was moving too slow. At the end Thea had managed to complete three quarters of the dishes while I only did a quarter of them. I felt embarrassed but tried not to let it show.
From there we moved on to sweeping and throwing away the garbage. After each task it seemed that Thea grew more and more impatient with me. Compared to her I seemed very inefficient in doing chores. Once we had completed our tasks, we were allowed to have an hour’s break before we had to take some classes from the adults.
As we made our way back to our room, we were suddenly intercepted by four girls. Two slim blonde girls shorter than Thea and me. A tall brunette on the thicker side with beautiful eyes and a few scars on her face. In front of them all, was an auburn hair girl, with freckles, a nice athletic body and an innocent smile. “Hi, my name is Kimberly” said the Auburn with a soft tone. “This is Olivia” continued Kimberly as she pointed at the tall brunette, “and they are Erica and Leslie” now pointing at the blondes. “I am Heli,” I responded while smiling trying to match her tone.
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“We wanted to welcome you and we were also hoping to eventually become friends. Why don’t you join us after classes?” asked Kimberly.
“I guess I can” I respond as I turned to look at Thea and noticed that her expression was a very visibly angry one.
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“Great” they all said almost in unison as they turned and left.
As Thea and I continue to make our way to our room. I asked her what that was about, to which she responded with an eerie advice, “don’t act so pampered here or you will be eaten alive.”