Several hours after being crushed to “death” in the mortal world Thozronnath the pitiful, first and last among imps, finally woke up back in hell. The information from his status was still clearly fresh in his mind. He was quantifiably terrible. It was mathematically proven at this point. He sucked. In fact, Thoz was so terrible that he even had two negatives among his already low stats.
He understood charisma being negative, somewhat, devils were not considered pictures of beauty in most cases. Imps in particular had crooked teeth and hideous red skinned bodies. However, for a creature that had spent centuries carrying heavy things when other people told him to, being told that his strength was negative two was almost soul crushing. Almost. Thoz was not allowed to die so easily as having his soul crushed by sadness. Though sadness that crushes the soul was something you would find in hell in quite the literal sense.
The imps intelligence score barely registered him as smarter than an animal, though of course there were in fact animals smarter than the average imp. What stood out to the imp though, was his resilience score. Sure, dexterity and wisdom were both set to one, being fast and knowing when to run were traits he had picked up over the years. His resilience though, was two. Two whole points.
Now, if one was of average intelligence, or above average impness, they might realize that centuries of torment and pain in one of the worst realms conceivable to the mind would make any creature a bit more resilient than they started. Thoz was of course below average in intelligence and completely average in impness, so he realized none of this.
He lingered on the title in his name box for a few moments, being called pitiful by the voice in his head was not pleasant after all, but he eventually put it aside. His status had carried other information, “Skillses” as Thoz would say.
Fire immunity was nice, familiar and expected, but nice. Several of hell’s circles were absolutely full of the stuff, so he already knew it didn’t really bother him, he was quite literally designed to work down here. Silver vulnerability was not nice. Thoz knows a few words one would be surprised to hear from someone of his intelligence, “Vulnerable” and all its various forms is one of them. He had no clue what silver was though, so he was pretty sure they didn’t have that in hell, and if it’s not in hell it’s not a problem for Thoz. Thoz has work to do after all.
Work was not an apt description though. Thoz’s existence in hell revolved around doing whatever anyone told him to whenever they told him to do it, so when he arrived back in hell his job became whatever he was told to do first. He had spent centuries breaking rocks, gluing them back together, and then repeating the cycle. This served no function for the rest of hell, but was greatly entertaining to the True Devil that ordered him to do it. At least for the first few decades before he forgot about the imp.
Thankfully he had been summoned away from the arms smith by a contract and didn’t have to go back unless ordered, hell being thankful not Thozronnath. Thoz didn’t mind carrying the coals, they were actually kind of nice, but he was incompetent and was constantly knocking things over, dropping coals into the quenching tanks, or releasing the damned souls before they could be forged into weapons. All in all the imp actually did more harm than good in the grand scheme of the war effort while in there, but he made a good punching bag so the other devils kept him around.
Over the past thousand years this little devil had become quite familiar with sisyphean tasks even if he couldn’t pronounce the word, so he was rather trying to avoid one this time. That’s when it occurred to Thoz to try one of the skills he read on that list.
Invisibility.
He knew other devils could disappear from sight, they often used it to sneak up behind him and rip his wings off, or rip his tail off, or stab him in the neck. If he could replicate that, then he might be able to spend a few years unnoticed before he was put back to work. An idea that was all too smart for the cunning creature.
“Invisibility”
The skill was invoked and Thoz was immediately disappointed. Level one invisibility should really be called partial transparency. He could very much still see himself if he looked down, and it wasn’t him just seeing himself normally as the skill holder. No, Thoz was in fact partially transparent, an imp shaped outline was clearly definable against the hellish terrain, and one could only just make out the shapes of the world through his otherwise mostly opaque red body.
…….
Thoz sighed deeply and deactivated his skill, walking in a random direction in the hopes of avoiding any other devils in the area. A poor choice as it turns out, because he walked directly into a True Devil flying by some fifteen minutes later.
True Devils, called such because they most resembled the stereotypical notion of a hellish devil, were humanoids like many other devils though only in shape. On average a True Devil was nearly three meters tall, with long curved horns on its head measuring easily 60 centimeters. They had standard five finger hands, and two toed clawed feet with an extra ankle joint like the hind legs of a hairless goat. The wingspan on a horned devil could pass 10 meters in some cases, and they were wide enough to completely wrap around their body like a cloak if necessary. Every inch of their body was covered in thick scales, and they carried twin tipped spears forged of hand picked souls. Their ability to manipulate hellfire was second only to pit fiends, and the barb on the end of their serpentine tail could suck the life out of a creature against their will. Not pleasant people to work for.
The one that Thoz was meeting today also had a mean streak wider than the river styx. He landed in front of the Imp with enough force to send the lesser devil flying backwards, laughing the entire time. Then, much to Thoz’s horror, he produced two buckets. The first bucket had no bottom, it was more of a wooden cylinder with a handle on one end. The second bucket seemed average, but it was full of sand. Then came the orders.
“Imp. I have a very important task for you” the greater devil sneered, setting the buckets down in front of Thozroonath.
“I want you to count every grain of sand in this bucket, and when you finish, I want you to go and fill this other bucket with water from the Styx. When the second bucket is dry, you must come back and count the first bucket again but remove one grain of sand. When you are out of sand, return to me and tell me how many grains there were.”
Thus Thoz was ordered, and with a fluttering of leathery hatred the True Devil took off deeper into hell.
Posed with the problem of counting millions of grains of sand only to try and fill a bottomless bucket and start over, Thoz sighed the sound of defeat that can only come after lifetimes of pain.
“Ones”
He began counting, this time actually hoping that a contract would pull him away from his task, just for a moment.
“Twoes”
If Thoz was summoned into the mortal plane then he’d receive new orders from a summoner, and new orders always trump old ones.
“Threes”
On some level he had to know it wouldn’t happen though. In the thousand years since contracts had been in hell, he had only gotten two of them. There had to be more flesh-things than just two, so Thoz was certain the better contracts were going to better devils.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
“Fours”
And so, one by one, Thoz counted his new burden. Two and a half million grains of sand in the bucket. Two and a half million times he would have to count them. Sure, it would get shorter towards the end, but Thoz barely understood numbers enough to count that high.
Counting to two million over and over, hundreds of thousands of times, took him quite a while. It might not have taken him as long if he didn’t lose count so often, but you can’t expect much of an Imp.
Without needing to eat, and without needing to sleep, no change in the sky, no change in the ground, Thoz passed the time counting. He counted so much sand he lost count of how long he had been counting. When he realized this he lost count of the sand again and had to start over. It was in this manner that another one thousand years (give or take) passed the imp before he heard a familiar message in his head.
Congratulations! His Lordship has granted you a contract. Your summoning will begin shortly. Physical manifestation currently under construction.
Thoz stood up in excitement.
“NO. MORE. SANDSES!!” he shouted to no one in particular.
Frightened that this display might be taken as an act of rebellion he quickly glanced around to make sure no other devils had seen him do this, or if they had that they weren’t going to punish him. He was safe enough. For now.
For a moment Thoz was frightened that this summoning might be taking longer than last time, but he barely remembered it by this point so he had no real way of knowing. He had just resolved to count the seconds when a familiar tugging at the back of his mind whisked him away.
Once again his mind and soul were split, he was thrust to the space between dimensions and sent hurtling into a newly constructed body designed to house his ego. A mirror of his soul.
Physical manifestation completed. Congratulations! You are now a level 1 Imp. Remember to check your status for your specifications, and please comply with your summoner's requests to the best of your ability while trying to claim their soul.
“STATUSES!!” The imp immediately screamed, frightening his poor summoner nearly half to death.
As the imp received a flood of information he looked around his new environment and the flesh-thing that summoned him. Not a dwarf-thing, too tall and not hairy enough. Not an elf-thing, too hairy and not enough ear. It was, of course, Thoz’s first encounter with an average human. “Average” as a devil summoning practitioner of dark magic could be.
As our pitiful protagonists gaze filtered around the room, he found himself in a small wooden building. Primitive in construction it’s roof and ceiling appeared to be some kind of dried plant, though most plants in hell would bite if you tried to harvest them so Thoz was immediately impressed. The dirt floor was smoother than any of the places Thoz had ever been allowed to sleep, and the wooden windows (glass free of course) let in enough light while shielding the rest. To an imp, it was a palace.
His summoner, likewise, was allowed clothes, and furs. He could keep warm, or cool, or in between. How magnificent.
By our modern standards this human, and his village, had just entered the stone age, but when compared to the terrors of hell, it was as if a devil had been given a glimpse of heaven.
Then Thozronnath received his first order from any summoner.
“Save me. Please?!” the human whined pitifully.
Thoz had no idea what he had to save the human from, or how an imp was supposed to save anyone. He was lost in thought when he realized the answer to his first question.
**KABOOM**
Explosions. He needed to save the human from explosions.
The fire and heat didn’t bother Thoz too much, but the concussive force sent him hurling through the charred remains of the hut almost instantly.
Congratulations! Your summoner has been slain. The remaining duration of your contracted time is now yours to do as you please. A penance fee of 5 souls has been deducted from your account for failing to comply with summoner orders. A penance fee of 5 souls has been deducted from your account for failing to produce a profit from your contracted obligations. New balance: -20 souls.
“Fucks” the imp groaned. He still didn’t even know what souls were for outside of forging weapons, why did they sound like a currency all the sudden?
He then impacted the ground. Hard.
You have suffered a major injury. -10 HP. Congratulations! You have died.
And then he promptly was returned to hell.
Thozronnath didn’t even have time to notice the changes in his status.
General Stats Classes Level Name: Thozronnath "The Pitiful" Strength: -2 Imp 1 Species: Imp (Lesser Devil) Dexterity: 1 Sex: N/A Resilience: 2 Age: 2225 Intelligence: 1 Affiliation(s): Hell Wisdom: 1 HP: 0/10 (+0.1/sec) Charisma: -1 MP: 15/15 (+0.1/sec)
Skill
Level
Invisibility
1
Stealth
1
Subterfuge
2
Silver Vulnerability
1 (Max)
Fire Immunity
1 (Max)
Shapeshifter
1
Eyes of Hell
1 (Max)
Sting
1