Lucifer pulled his wife into the elevator and put up his hand, stopping the rest,

"Catch the next one." He ordered as the doors began to close, but a hand reached through, stopping the door. When the doors reopened, Thron stepped in.

"I know you've grown old, Thron, but I didn't realize you're losing your hearing." Lucifer snapped angrily.

"I heard you just fine, Young Lord, but my job is to protect you and the Princess, and I can not do that if I'm not with you," Thron replied, reaching in front of the couple and hitting the floor button before stepping to the back corner.

"And what threat do you see in this lift?" Lucifer questioned, turning his head back to glare at the guard as the elevator began to move.

"If I turned my back every time I didn't see a threat, I wouldn't be very good at my job, Young Lord." He justified, eyes focused straight ahead despite Lucifer's piercing gaze.

"Is that so, Thron? Or is it because you think I'm going to hurt the Princess?" Lucifer asked, annoyed by the emotionless guard.

"Are you?" He challenged, finally turning to meet Lucifer's glare.

The two men locked eyes as the elevator dinged.

Louie made a smug comment in the back of his mind, just pissing him off more, "Shut the fuck up." He mumbled, breaking the stare-off.

"Sorry if I offended you, my Prince."

"I wasn't talking to you," he snapped and abruptly stepped towards the now open doors, dragging Kathrine Ann with him.

Once out of the elevator, Lucifer didn't know where to go, so Kathrine Ann took the lead, pulling him along as she wore a smile and radiated amusement,

"Is it my embarrassment you're enjoying so much?" He finally asked.

"Yes," She chuckled, "just as you enjoy mine."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, "Where are you leading us, little Wife?"

"Nurse's desk. We need to check in before going to see Azazel."

Just as she promised, they approached a large circular area with a circular desk at its center. There looked to be three windows, but only one with someone present, so that was where she headed. Lucifer looked around bored as Kathrine Ann guided him. When they reached the window, an older woman in a nurse's uniform was busily writing. She didn't seem to notice them,

"Hello," Kathrine Ann greeted sweetly.

"Hold on, hun. I'll be right with you." She responded.

Lucifer's eyes wandered around the large space. White floors, beige walls spotted with medical posters, and a high ceiling. Around the edge of the area, he saw rows of torn chairs and a few hanging televisions playing shows or movies on silent. To top it all off, the place smelled odd. The only thing he could come up with to describe it was sterile, too sterile,

"I don't like it here." He stated.

He heard the woman behind the desk huff, "It's a hospital, hun. No one likes being—" The nurse began, but when she lifted her head and saw who stood in front of her, she threw herself back, tripping over her chair and falling onto her back as her feet flew straight up, hitting the desk and sending all the papers flying into the air.

There was dead silence for a beat as she quickly scrambled to get up, then Lucifer burst into laughter,

"Lucifer! Stop that," Kathrine Ann hissed, and he forced himself to stop, but a few chuckles slipped through, "Miss, are you okay?" She asked as concern filled the air. Lucifer tried to pull himself together, but when the lady tried to pull herself up, one of her feet slipped on a piece of paper, causing him to fall into another fit of laughter, "Seriously," She growled at him, "You're fifty thousand years old, grow up."

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"Milady, it's okay." The highly embarrassed nurse reassured, finally getting to her feet, "Apologies for making you wait."

"Nonsense. If anyone should apologize, it's my insensitive husband." She grumbled as Lucifer stood next to her, looking at the ground, holding a fist to his mouth, and trying to control himself. It was hard because even Louie was laughing.

"Not a chance." He managed to reply.

"Please forgive the Prince. He's not quite himself today. Are you honestly okay? Did you hurt yourself?"

"I'm fine, Princess, I promise." She blushed even brighter unable to look at either of them.

"Okay, uh, We're here to see Azazel. Is she in the same room as yesterday?"

Without another word, the woman turned to the thin monitor on her desk and began tapping the screen, "Yes, Milady. Room 303."

"Thank you." She smiled brightly at the nurse before grabbing Lucifer's arm and yanking him away from the desk.

She wasn't happy with him. She was annoyed and embarrassed, "What?" He asked, amusement still in his tone,

"You're an asshole." She snarled.

"Oh, come on, Kathrine Ann. It was funny, and you know it." Lucifer rolled his eyes. "I bet even Thron found it amusing," he claimed, glancing over at the impassive guard, who didn't reply.

"She hurt herself." She snapped, "And you,"

"Is she dead?" He interrupted.

"No, but"

"Was she knocked out?"

"No, Lucifer, but"

"Not even a drop of blood,"

"It's not the point."

"It's exactly the point! She wasn't hurt, not that that would have stopped me from laughing. Might have made it funnier. Anyway, she was just embarrassed. It was fucking funny, you know it, and I know you know it because I caught it under all the precious genuine concern. You thought it was funny, little Wife. So, deny it all you like, but deep down, you were laughing with me."

Their eyes were locked. He was smiling, she wasn't, but he sensed it. The amusement was taking the place of her other feelings, and soon it cracked through the surface as she fought the smile, "Fine, it was a little funny." She admitted, "But you shouldn't have laughed at her like that. She was so embarrassed. You are a bad influence. No wonder Luce wanted to keep you away from me." She rolled her eyes, forcing the smile off her face.

"My influence is the least of Louie's worries." He replied, "And don't let him fool you. He was laughing too."

"Laughing about what?" Milril asked as he and Viskiam caught up.

"Great, you're back," Lucifer grumbled.

"The nurse at the front desk freaked when she saw Luce," Lucifer coughed loudly and glared at her. "Sorry, when she saw my hubby, she fell backward over her chair." Kathrine Ann finished with a side eye as Lucifer scowled at her.

"Hubby, hum?" Milril mumbled.

"I am not your Luce." He growled, "And don't call me hubby."

"Is she okay?" Viskiam cut in.

"Yeah, the poor thing was so embarrassed, and to make it worse, my dear husband went into a laughing fit, embarrassing her even more."

"Aren't we here to visit our dear friend Azazel?" Lucifer grumbled.

"Speaking of, Lucifer. We'll need Louie for this." Thron informed.

"I think I can handle it," Lucifer replied, not bothering to look at the half-demon.

"You don't even know what happened." Milril protested.

"Neither does Louie. Out of sight out of mind doesn't count when you share a mind. Louie can ask whatever questions he wants through me." Lucifer explained as Louie pushed forward.

'We had a deal.' Louie hissed.

'Oh? What happened to needing a break, leaving it up to me to handle everything?'

'I was proving a point, and you know it.'

'Actions have consequences, Louie.' He sneered at his other half, 'Besides, we both know you're still too weak.'

'I will manage.' He snapped back.

'No, I will manage.'

Lucifer ignored the cursing and threats as he reached for the door they now stood in front of, but Milrils hand came over and stopped him, "You know if you want me to kill you, all you have to do is ask?"

"She won't talk to you, Lucifer, and you know it." Milril sighed, "Come on, It'll be just a few minutes, then you can,"

"Lies, as soon as I take these off," he hissed, holding up his wrists. Louie will take over, and it'll be another few millennia before I see the light again."

"So this was your plan the whole time? Kidnap your own mind for as long as possible?" He asked.

"Yeah." Lucifer scoffed, "Worked for Louie, didn't it?" He growled, "I've been locked away for thousands of years, and no one cared, but one fucking day and you're already whining? I haven't done anything wrong. Yet somehow, I'm the bad guy again because I want a few hours of freedom."

"You're not innocent, Lucifer, and you know it!" Milril growled, "You hurt people,"

"I was a child!" Lucifer yelled, his voice echoing off the wall. "I had no mother and a father who couldn't be bothered to help. A father whose solution was to make me split myself in two and hide half of it away." Lucifer paused as he composed himself. "I don't need to explain myself to you. Not that you would even listen. You never listened to me, and neither did your brother."

"What are you talking about!" Milril laughed, "We tried."

"Tried? You ignored me, and when you couldn't, you told Louie to 'handle his demon.' That's all I ever was, an annoying extension of Louie, and you, Milril, were the worst." Milril didn't say anything, "Don't worry, a few more hours and these bracelets won't be able to hold your Louie back. Then you won't have to bother with me anymore. You'll all have your precious Louie back, and big bad Lucifer will be imprisoned once again." He spat.

Lucifer pushed open the door to Azazel's room and walked in,

"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!" Her voice rang out as soon as she laid eyes on him.