Chapter 4: Surge Awakening

Time does not wait for anyone, not even immortals. And regrets are the currency of time. But even time cannot heal the deepest of regrets.

-The Betrayer

It was at night that I stood inside a circle of blood. Teacher Embracing Flower, Teacher Prina, and Elder Magus Zelas formed a perimeter around me, each affixed at a point of a triangle around me.

I felt nervous, especially more so whenever I kept glancing at the circle of blood. The circle was crudely drawn, but Elder Magus Zelas said that it was enough for their purposes. But still, I was nervous. It was my blood they used to draw the circle, after all. And the light that was shed from the wooden torches that were surrounding us made for an eerie look.

As soon as Elder Magus Zelas had taken enough blood to draw the circle, he had healed me. I was impressed by how fast he had healed me. It was as if he had just snapped his finger and I was healed.

Adding to my discomfort, I could not go outside of the small circle which only had a diameter of three feet.

“Let us start,” Elder Magus Zelas said in a dry and aged voice. And perhaps it was just me, but it sounded cold also. Magus Zelas was one of the three most powerful Magus in our tribe and was always seen wearing a black robe with a shadowed cowl that almost covered the entirety of his face, so much that I could not even see his eyes. Mysterious and dangerous. That was the feeling I sensed from him.

Elder Magus Zelas took out a dagger, black as night. Its length was short. Perhaps just about the size of his forearm. Its hilt was discolored. A pale, discolored whiteness. By my guess, it seemed to be made out of bone. “Bare your chest, Wolf Under Stars.” His voice rang out deeply and the gentle wind of the afternoon almost seemed to grow stronger. More violent.

My eyes focused on the entirety of the dagger. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Teacher Embracing Flower giving me an assuring look that said there was nothing to worry about. Teacher Prina, to my left, only looked serious and strict.

Time itself felt as if it had slowed down as the black dagger traveled toward my chest. How Elder Magus Zelas could even see through from the shadowed cowl of his, I did not know.

I felt a tugging at the back of my mind, stronger than what I had felt yesterday morning when Teacher Embracing Flower taught me about Association.

To my surprise, I didn’t flinch even when the warmth of my own blood trickled downward toward my stomach. Neither did I flinch when the dagger made its way across my upper chest. There was a steady flow of blood seeping from the wound the dagger had made.

I felt as if I had upheld the pride of the Hunters. As if this wound had become the mark of my first battle wound.

Pain burst from my mind, as if a sharp stake was being nailed through my head. The pain was raw, almost physical. The tugging at the back of my mind also grew stronger. The chanting of Elder Magus Zelas grew louder, his voice growing deeper and colder.

I recognized some of the words.

“The blood of kin…the Essences of blood…Foci…prayers to the All Mother and the All Father…”

To my sides, Teacher Embracing Flower and Teacher Prina also joined in. All three of them had opened their Surges.

“Open your Surge,” came the cold voice of Elder Magus Zelas.

I obeyed. Not out of fear, but out of necessity. The pain was growing stronger and stronger. I felt as if there were a thousand spears plunging through my body, skewering me with raw pain. I heard my own whimpers. My shame at not being able to endure this pain was let out. If it was Hunter, I knew that he could have endured this.

I looked deep within and saw my Surge, the crudely formed black sphere violently shaking in the vaporous energy that was my Anima. I prodded at the sphere, giving it a sense of direction. When it did not work, I directed a mental force at it.

OPEN!

The black sphere grew more and more violent. It was as if it had become a whirlpool of malevolence, sucking in everything. My Surge grew noticeably larger as it absorbed the Anima. It became an even darker color, if that was even possible.

My heart pounded, as if each beat of it would break free from my chest. My blood boiled as if fire itself had been infused with it. My veins had become channels for living fire.

Then I finally noticed my own screaming. Strange, I had not even noticed when I had started screaming. My screams were so loud, I felt my throat stinging from the exertion. My throat was parched and aching from the rawness of it.

The pain grew stronger. My blood seemed as if it was serving as fuel for a devouring conflagration. My mind felt as if it was being scraped against a rough stone. My heart was like the thunderous roar of a dragon.

Then the black sphere that was my Surge exploded into dozens of pieces.

My eyes grew wide as I looked down my chest. Why was my whole chest and stomach covered with my own blood? I slowly stretched out my arms. They were also covered in blood. I could feel the warmth of it like a fire. The strangely cold wetness of it. On the ground, there was a pool of my own blood, a writhing mass of scarlet liquid.

My eyes met the sky-blue gems of Teacher Embracing Flower. She held a horror stricken look. She looked at me as if I was…as if she was frightened of me. Or was it that she was frightened for me?

That was the last scene I saw before darkness took me and I laid in a puddle of my own blood, coloring my vision a dark scarlet.

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I woke up with a slight aching. My vision blurred for a moment before it returned to clarity. My vision felt sharp and crisp. Looking around, I found myself in a room which I recognized as the guest room near the Magus section. The room was plain with whitewashed walls made of wood. At the center, there was a carpet made from the fur of a Ronat. And beside the bed I was in, there was a small wooden stool.

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I felt weak with hunger, and I could barely move my arms. “Hello?” I called out, mustering all the strength I could into my voice.

I heard the hurried steps of someone. From the entranceway to the room—there was no door—I saw Teacher Embracing Flower. Her usual flowing red hair fell down to her shoulders in cascades, and her sky-blue eyes were filled with worry.

“Wolf! You’re awake!”

She hurried toward me, giving me a tight hug. I could smell her scent. Sweet. Delicious. Stronger than before. Her neck was white. Smooth as the finest spear. I felt my breathing grow ragged.

“Yes,” I said, my voice weak, and seemingly deeper to my ears. Perhaps it was just my imagination, but everything felt sharper. Keener. “How long?” I asked.

“You’ve been asleep for three days,” she replied, letting go of her arms around me. I felt saddened when her touch left me. Her face grew thoughtful, more somber. “I don’t know what went wrong with the Surge Awakening. We were doing fine in the beginning and the middle, when near the end, everything went wrong. Your Surge became more violent than we initially expected…then it…”

She paused, as if choking on a word she dared not say. “It exploded into pieces.”

I winced at her words as they compelled me to relive what happened that night. The fiery pain. The rawness of it. The whimpering and the screaming. The horrified face of Teacher Embrace.

I closed my eyes. “How is my Surge?” My words were blunt. Direct.

She paused at my question, unsure of how to proceed. “It’s gone.”

“Gone?”

Teacher Embracing Flower bit her lip, her small teeth showing. “You are no longer a Magus. I, Teacher Prina, and even Elder Magus Zelas all inspected your body state. We could feel no trace of your former Surge. Neither could we feel any Anima from you.”

“I see.”

Strange, I did not feel much disappointment. There was only a small trace of it. A bitter thought came into my mind. Looks like I truly had obtained my wish of only focusing on Hunter training.

Teacher Embracing Flower, strange enough, did not give any words of consolation. She remained silence. Perhaps she felt as if words were not enough.

I shook my head. “It is fine, Teacher. None of it was your fault. No one could have expected something to go wrong. After all, every Magus who underwent the Surge Awakening succeeded.”

“Still, we destroyed a future path you could have taken. Now, the path to a Magus is closed off for you.” Her eyes became steady. Hopeful. “You should, however, come visit me every week, so that I can examine the state of your body. Perhaps, just perhaps, we may have missed something.”

I nodded and then stood up to leave.

“Don’t leave yet, Wolf Under Stars,” she called out. “You must be hungry right.” She formed a small grin. “A growing boy needs his food. Come to my house and I will cook you something.”

I smiled back. Some of it false. “Sure. But don’t call me a boy. I am a Hunter Trainee. At least call me a half-adult,” I joked. This exchange was somewhat of a growing joke between the two of us.

Thus, I spent some time eating before I went back. Throughout the whole time I was eating, I shrugged off any concerns of my well-being. I had reassured Teacher Embracing Flower that I was fine multiple times.

Just how much of a lie that was, I would not find out until several years later.

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The age of six years old was a bittersweet time for me.

Embracing Flower, no longer my teacher, had become officially married to Hunter. The village was in a festive mood and the ceremony and celebrations went on until the bonfires grew dim against the darkness of midnight.

With the cover of night, and a gentle, nightly wind blowing against my face, I watched the couple dance together. A Wraithborn and a Demona marrying together was a rare occasion in our tribe, especially when the Wraithborn was a respected Magus and the Demona was the lead Hunter. It wasn’t later until I learned that the reason why all the infants were raised by Caretakers was due to friction between the Demona and Wraithborn in the tribe.

The two of them had gotten together over the period of weekly Surge examinations Magus Embracing Flower gave me. Hunter had visited me. He did not show it on his face, but I knew that deep down, Hunter was worried. He always worried for all of the Hunter trainees. I was not a special exception.

One visit had led to another.

Two and a half years had already passed since my Surge had been destroyed. Teacher Embracing Flower was no longer my teacher, and I was no longer a Magus disciple. All of the Magus had given up upon my case. I was Surge-less. Normal.

It wasn’t bad or anything like that. There were plenty of Surge-less Demona and Wraithborn in our tribe. It was just—I felt as if I was missing something. My Magus training, of course, continued until all of the Magus had given up on me.

And on the day Teacher Embracing Flower gave up on examining me, I knew that I was no longer a Magus Disciple.

Strange, how fate works sometimes.

My solemn mood as I held onto the cup of Wyvern blood, used for celebratory purposes, was soon interrupted.

“Why so sad? Are you not enjoying the occasion?” Dance of First asked. She was blunt. It was a part of her nature. But then again, I liked her for it.

I did not reply, and Dance of First no longer asked me again.

Instead, she simply sat beside me, watching the glow of the bonfire fade to midnight. In silence, she spared me her company.

I was thankful.

It was a bittersweet night. A night of a widely-welcomed wedding and a night where all the Hunter trainees would step into real Hunter training.

I had become a Hunter, and I was no longer the poorest. I was, on good days, one of the best Hunter trainees. I had gotten my wish.

Silently, I poured a few drops of Wyvern blood onto the ground.

“Thanks,” I quietly said to Dance of First under the basking glow of the faraway bonfire.