'Take a deep breath, as you close your eyes. You can see darkness, yet within it lies - a world of secrets, hidden from prying eyes.

Imagine a world filled with glitter of gold, where the particles are under your control. You can create a mansion, a horse, or even an intricate thread out of it, if you want you can even strengthen it.

Oh this blessing bestowed by the heavens, you are the chosen one, golden-eyes are your present.

Fear not, for you are the master, in this enchanting scene. Only you can see this magic, a caster of realms unseen,

Embrace your blessing, and let your imagination gleam.'

Haaa...I really want to curse.

Whoever wrote this book should have been a narcissist poet instead of a magician. Of course, he will still be the so-called chosen one, seeing mana - the golden particles will be as easy as breathing air for him.

But what do I do? No matter how often I try, I just can't see it. It's only darkness, and by darkness, I mean pitch dark without a hint of light, let alone golden glitters or whatever. The book says you can do it by the age of five and it just comes naturally. I have crossed past that age, ages ago and yet ...

Anyway!

I started rereading the book as if I would discover hidden meanings behind those words if I reread them for the 24th time, but unfortunately, it was just a wishful dream. But who says dreams can't come true...right?

But as I immersed again in the world of ink and parchment, something squiggled beside me, it crept on my back and gently stopped on my right shoulder. Without glancing, I knew it was Umbral, my companion.

"Hm, the author is very passionate about writing....more than magic I guess?"

"Is this what you are concerned about?"

"Oh no!...just saying. So, you are still unable to see mana right?"

"Say something, I do not know"

"The thing is, I have been with you for years and well, not to brag, I have basically mastered all the books available at your house and the town. Ahem! you can praise me later."

Was this being, always like this? It seemed like his personality took a 180 turn after I gave him his name.

"So what did you find, why can't I see mana?" trying my best to maintain my expression.

Umbral looked at me with pitiful, tear-filled eyes.

"Oh please, stop looking at me like that. Just say out already," I urged, my patience wearing thin.

"Maassteerrrr,"Umbral whimpered, "I couldn't find a single person mentioned in those giant books that couldn't see mana despite having golden eyes."

"Is that so?"

Why the heck is he crying? And, how come a slime has snot? Nevertheless, I hurriedly passed the handkerchief to him, and his wiggling tendril-like hands took it, wiping away his tears and snot.

"Ew, that's really gross," I muttered under my breath, making a mental note to avoid looking at Umbral's face when he cried.

"Well...looks like I am the only one, should I be happy or sad?"

Maybe I made a mistake by saying that because Umbral's tears only seemed to increase even more. I can't get used to this goofy personality.

But the important question still lingered, refusing to fade away. How was this possible, and why me?

On the other hand, I looked towards Mom, who was busy in the kitchen, her face lit up with a happy smile humming a soft melody. Without really thinking, I reached out and gently touched her hand. She turned towards me, surprised by the sudden contact, but what I felt next was even more astonishing.

It was as if a door had opened in my mind, revealing a whole new world of sensations. I could feel her emotions, like a storm brewing beneath her forced smile. There was a hint of distress and anxiety, emotions she tried to hide but couldn't completely mask. It was like I could see beyond the facade, catching glimpses of her true feelings.

Over the past few days, I have tried it with both Mom and Dad, surprised every single time. How should I explain? It was as if a switch flipped inside me, and suddenly, I was no longer just touching the hand—I was diving headfirst into a sea of emotions. First, there was a wave of joy, like a burst of confetti at a celebration. It was warm, spreading through me like sunshine on a summer day. But then, like a sudden storm cloud, I felt a surge of anxiety and concern. It was like being caught in a whirlwind of worries, each one tugging at my heartstrings.

"Lucifer, is everything okay?" Mom's voice brought me back to the present, her concern evident in her eyes as she looked at me.

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I nodded, trying to push aside my unease. "Yeah, Mom. Everything's fine. Just lost in thought for a moment."

Was this what Umbral meant by envy-fueled power? Could I sense and understand emotions just by touching someone? It was both exhilarating and sobering, like discovering a hidden talent that came with a heavy responsibility. It was thrilling and terrifying all at once.

It was a constant reminder, of how human beings tend to conceal their inner feeling behind their fake masks of disguise

Every time I sensed Mom's anxiety, it tugged at my heartstrings, my heart sinking slightly at the realization of her inner turmoil. Dad, on the other hand, was a different puzzle altogether. He was always the strong, stoic figure in our family, never showing fear or vulnerability. So when I sensed a flicker of fear from him, it sent my curiosity into overdrive. What could possibly scare my tough dad?

I imagined scenarios in my head, each more absurd than the last. Perhaps he had stumbled upon a secret society of squirrels plotting world domination, or maybe he had glimpsed a shadowy figure in the backyard, straight out of a horror film.

But beneath the humour, there was a genuine concern. Seeing Dad, who had always been my pillar of strength, show a hint of fear made me realize that there were things beyond my understanding, dangers lurking in the shadows that even he couldn't face without agitation.

"Whatsoever, understanding emotions is one thing," I murmured to Umbral, "but mastering the art of magic is an entirely different challenge."

As the days passed and the academy exams drew nearer, I couldn't afford to let these newfound abilities distract me from my studies. The responsibility of learning everything necessary for the exams weighed heavily on my mind, especially with the added pressure of the upcoming journey.

"Master, have you packed your robes yet? You don't want to forget them," Umbral reminded me, a hint of playful concern in his tone.

"Not yet, Umbral. I'm trying to focus on these spells for the exam," I replied, trying to keep my frustration at bay.

"Exams? Oh, you mean those little tests to see how much magic you can remember," Umbral teased, I am really not in the mood to joke.

"Little tests? Umbral, these exams will determine whether I can continue my studies at the academy," I retorted, what more could I have done?

While I grappled with the complexities of magical theory, my parents were busy packing for our journey to the academy town.

"I told you, Marcus, we need to pack extra potions. What if we encounter a magical creature on the way?" Mom's voice echoed through the house, carrying a note of urgency.

Dad sighed, his patience wearing thin. "Dear, we're not venturing into the heart of a mythical forest. It's a straightforward journey to the academy."

"Easy for you to say" Mom retorted, her tone bordering on exasperation.

Umbral, who had been observing the exchange with a mixture of amusement and curiosity, couldn't resist chiming in. "Master, your parents seem to be in quite the pickle over this journey. Should I offer my expert packing advice?"

I rolled my eyes at Umbral's attempt at humour. "I think we'll manage just fine, Umbral. Let's leave the packing strategies to Mom and Dad."

Mom shot a glance in my direction, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Lucifer, have you packed enough of your quills and parchment? where is your application form? and these days you seem to talk to yourself more and more huh?"

I glanced towards the blob of goo - Umbral sitting on my shoulder peacefully, momentarily forgetting he was invincible to others, and not only Mom and Dad but anyone would think I had gone mad and kept talking to myself.

While I was worrying my parents would misunderstand my mental health, Umbral let out a laugh. This blog of Goo, I wanted to punch him in his face but managed to maintain my expression and hands as I nodded towards Mom, trying to sound confident despite my own doubts, "Yes, Mom. I have everything I need for the exams."

Dad, ever the practical one, interjected, "Let's focus on the essentials first. Food supplies, clothing, and our magical potions should be our priority."

"Exactly," Mom agreed, though her gaze lingered on me with a hint of worry.

Umbral, always eager to contribute to the conversation, added, "And don't forget about entertainment supplies! What's a long journey without some magical board games or storytelling sessions?"

I chuckled while whispering, "Umbral, they can't hear you, you know?"

Umbral looked at me with a pout on his face. I will assume it to be a pout since his so-called gooey lips were protruding out.

As the packing continued, so did the banter and occasional disagreements. Mom insisted on bringing extra enchanted herbs and remedies, citing the unpredictable nature of travel. Dad, on the other hand, emphasized the need for lightweight travel to avoid unnecessary burdens.

"Alright, I think we're finally ready," Dad announced, surveying the packed bags and supplies with a satisfied nod.

Mom smiled, a hint of relief visible on her face. "Yes, everything seems to be in order. Now, let's rest up for tomorrow. We have an early start."

I couldn't help but smile, looking at their smiling faces I was again reminded of my own shortcomings, my incapability to see mana and thus use magic. I had to excel in theories at least to enter the academy, even though I am confident in theory, a part of my heart could not let go of the fear of failure. What if my efforts weren't enough? What if I couldn't meet the expectations placed on me, both by my family and myself?

As the night wore on, I went to sleep, my mind still swirling with doubts and insecurities. I glanced at Umbral, who had finally settled down into a blob-like shape on the nightstand.

"Umbral," I whispered softly, not wanting to wake my parents. "Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you ever feel like you're not good enough?"

Umbral shifted slightly, his gooey form pulsating with a gentle glow. "Master, doubt is a natural part of growth. It's what pushes us to strive for more, to learn and improve. But remember, you are not alone in this journey. I and your parents, everybody believes in you"

"Don't..." I interrupted in a hushed tone. "Do not believe in me. I don't want anybody to believe in me; it's such a burden. Some might see these words as a blessing, but for me, it feels like people are laughing at my insecurities."

Why believe in me when I can't believe in myself? I envy those optimistic souls who believe everything will be alright even if it doesn't. But, I just can't seem to grasp this logic. What if you fall short of the expectations of those who believed in you? Wouldn't it be more heartbreaking than failing, with them knowing you will eventually disappoint them?

"Maybe I'm the twisted one?" I muttered, feeling the night drag on endlessly. In the quiet of the night, I grappled with my own doubts and fears, wondering if I could ever truly embrace the belief others had in me.

The night passed slowly...way too slowly.