Moving quickly through the swamp, Dizzy, Kitty and YDB fled the farm and more importantly, Gwen the cat.

“Hold it, stop, stop, stop!” said Dizzy after a bit. “I don’t think the cat is following us. Let’s take a break. Kitty, can you look at my face?”

“Scratch,” said YDB as he moved closer to examine Dizzy’s wound.

“Yeah, it’s a bad scratch. Hope that cat kept his claws clean. An infection would be bad,” said Kitty as she carefully cleaned the injury. She looked at the swamp water doubtfully, then pulled a canteen from her bag instead.

“Cleanest water I can use right now. Hold still.”

Kitty poured the water over the wound, washing out the blood. She tore another strip from the mattress, and made a fresh and mostly clean bandage.

“Thanks. Do you think we got enough from the junk pile?” asked Dizzy as he glanced at the hoe.

“It’s enough for now. We’ll get better stuff when we raid Driftwood Landing,” replied Kitty. YDB nodded in agreement.

“I hope. I get slashed across the face for a broken hoe and a few scraps? Even if we had eaten that stupid cat, it wouldn’t be enough,” grumbled Dizzy.

The march back through the swamp took the remainder of the day. The skin around Dizzy’s eye itched and ached, but there was nothing to do except to keep marching. Upon arrival back at the village, Dizzy had another reason to be annoyed at his luck. Almost every other goblin had had far better luck than his group.

“Haha! That stupid merchant didn’t even have a chance!” cackled Slugger, the tribe’s best fighter after the Chief.

“Yeah! Did you see him run! Smacked his head on a branch, but kept on going!” crowed Dregs, toadying up to Slugger.

“Swords for everyone that went with me! Armor too!” called out Slugger, handing out pots, skillets, and cups, as well as knives, forks and spoons.

“You defeated a tinker? What, was he asleep when you found him?” asked Dizzy sarcastically.

Slugger turned and grinned at Dizzy. “Nope. Wide awake and driving his wagon. I dropped from a branch and landed next to him. I stabbed at him with my sword, and he tried to take off. His horse started running, and I landed in the back. When he hit his head on a low branch, he was knocked out, and his horse kept running. So I threw his junk out onto the road, then jumped out before the whole thing crashed,” boasted Slugger.

The bigger goblin flexed his muscles, then drew the short sword from his belt. He posed to show off to the rest of the tribe. The goblins cheered while Dizzy gritted his teeth.

“So now, all the tribe has weapons and armor for the raid. At least the ones I like. You, I don’t like. What did you find?”

Dizzy looked at his bent hoe. YDB showed off his bag of fertilizer, and Kitty looked a bit embarrassed about only having brought back a mattress cover.

“We had an actual fight. The farm had a big cat, who…” Dizzy was unable to finish his tale about the cat as the entire tribe burst out in laughter.

“The three of you got beat by a cat? Maybe we should leave you in the village instead of taking you! My warriors will need food when we get back! You can cook, right?” laughed Slugger. The crowd hooted at Dizzy’s misfortune.

“It was a big cat!” yelled Dizzy. “Look at this!” he said as he pulled back the bandage Kitty had placed over his eye.

“That little scratch? Even my little sister wouldn’t complain about that!” scoffed Slugger.

“Enough!” said the Chief as he approached the bickering goblins.

“I declare Slugger as Battle Boss for the raid on Driftwood Landing. His words are my words,” said the Chief.

“We have a day to prepare. Turn those pots into helmets, and the pans into breastplates. If the knife is small, make it into a spear, and if it’s big, use it as a sword.”

The Chief looked at Dizzy’s hoe blade, then at Kitty’s mattress.

“It’s gonna take a while to grind an edge to make it into an axe. And I have no idea what use a mattress will be in battle,” he said with a shake of his head.

Kitty looked abashed, glancing away from the Chief.

“YDB, tell me you got something good,” asked the Chief.

YDB nodded happily, and showed off his bag of fertilizer.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Boom!” He said with glee. Chief grinned, knowing that YDB had somehow figured out a way to make bombs.

The mostly mute goblin ran around gathering up bits of bamboo from the village. He repeated “Boom” once more, then settled down to mix up a concoction that only he knew. YDB had cobbled together the materials and powders to make fireworks of many sorts. How he had figured out what could be mixed with what, and would somehow make an explosion or a fountain of fire or a rocket shooting up to the sky had always been a mystery. But none doubted his abilities, and many a goblin had enjoyed the light show YDB would put on.

“Good job, YDB. Make a lot of booms for the raid tomorrow. Scare the humans as much as you can.” The Chief patted YDB on the head as he moved on to inspect the rest of the tribe.

Moving through the village, the Chief nodded in approval, seeing his goblin horde busy at work preparing for a raid on the nearest human town. Soon, he would have more treasure and his people would have better food than toads and worms. Most importantly, he would have more than just worms and toads to eat. If the goblins were lucky, the humans would be having a market day, and the raiders would come back with a pig or side of beef. His mouth started to water, thinking about eating fresh cow meat.

Goblins were working everywhere. Well, if squabbling about the best knot to use while lashing small knives to sticks to create spears, or punching each other to test armor, and stealing finished work to pass on as their own could be considered “work.” The chief walked through the village, inspecting the goblins’ labor and breaking up the worst arguments. Slugger walked with him, swelling with pride at being selected as Battle Boss for the upcoming raid.

With everybody busy, Kitty took a moment to take her mattress into her hut and roll it out. She knew the Chief would soon forget that she hadn’t come back with anything useful for the raid, but there was no need to remind him. Once the mattress was laid out, she stuffed it with grass and cattails and anything else that would fill it. She hid her few possessions under it. She looked around the hut she shared with her sister Kat and a few other goblin females and shook her head. She wanted her own place. Someplace where she could sleep without her sister’s loud snoring or foul gas. If Kat ever ate any eggs, the night was better spent sleeping in the rain. Kitty quickly went back outside to see what preparations she could help with.

Outside, the goblins were being formed into teams by Slugger. The goblin pointed to three goblins in particular, giving them their marching orders. Chief stood behind Slugger, nodding in approval as the young warrior formed the goblins into a slightly organized rabble from a disorganized mob.

“Storm, you, Lazybutt, and Smash will each be in charge of a squad. The tribe has forty strong goblins, so each of you will have five goblins apiece. Cause as much damage as you can, and get the townspeople to chase you. Don’t worry, we will be right behind you, and we will keep them off your backs,” Slugger ordered. The three nodded in agreement.

“Dizzy, Kitty and YDB will be the rescue team. If anyone gets hurt or trapped by the humans, those three will be responsible for getting them out of trouble and fixed up enough to keep going.”

Kitty and Dizzy nodded, YDB looked up briefly, then went back to mixing the filler for his bombs.

“Dregs and the rest of you will be with me in the main attack. My team will be following Storm, Lazybutt, and Smash through the town. Stay close to each other, grab whatever you can, and don’t get distracted chasing dogs and horses!” barked Slugger.

“Yes, Battle Boss!” shouted the assembled goblins.

“At least we aren’t getting left behind,” whispered Kitty.

“Yeah, but rescue duty? No chance to loot or destroy stuff. Where’s the fun in that?” replied Dizzy.

“Shush. Better rescue duty than being left behind. Besides, if no one needs rescuing, we’ll have the town to ourselves. The tall folks will be too busy running away,” argued Kitty.

Dizzy nodded in agreement, but was clearly unhappy to be in a support role. YDB patted Dizzy’s shoulder and said, “Help.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We’ll help the tribe,” agreed Dizzy. The short goblin still didn’t look happy.

“We will leave in the morning at first light,” said Slugger. “Get your weapons and armor ready, and don’t forget to grab bags for the loot we’re going to steal!” The goblins cheered at that.

“Once your weapons and gear are ready, get some sleep! Morning comes sooner than you think. If you are still asleep, we’re not waiting for you. When we get back, any warriors left behind will be on whelp sitting duty!” The goblins laughed. No one wanted whelp duty.

Goblin children were raised in pens, protected from animals, but fed only what was tossed over the fence by the adult goblins. This taught goblins from the earliest age that might made right, and if you were slow, you would end up hungry. It was an effective teaching tool.

The goblins continued their preparations late into the night. In ones and twos, the goblins fell asleep where they were working, or crawled into their huts. Finally, even Slugger yawned hugely.

“We need to be fresh and alert tomorrow. Sleep well, my mighty warriors. You too, Dizzy,” he added after a moment when spotted the skinny goblin working on turning a pot into a helmet. Dizzy gave the Battle Boss a foul look, and stuck his tongue out when Slugger had turned away.

“No need, I have a corncob,” said Slugger without looking.

Kitty grinned at the insult, then shook her head.

“Let’s get some sleep. Morning will be here soon.”

Dizzy staggered to his feet, exhausted. The two goblins found a blanket to toss over YDB, who had fallen asleep after building a half dozen bamboo bombs. YDB had stuffed the explosives into a belt that he would wear across his chest. He left it hanging from a branch to allow the explosive paste to dry overnight. The two goblins walked slowly together towards their huts. Dizzy dropped down to crawl through the opening.

“Night, Kitty,” said Dizzy.

“See you in the morning,” replied Kitty. The female grinned down at the small, yet muscular goblin butt as its owner crawled into his hut for the night. She turned away, heading for her hovel and a good night’s sleep on her new mattress.

“Kat had better not be sleeping on my bed,” she growled to herself. Inside she was relieved to find that Kat was on her own mat, while Mouse, the tribe’s smallest female goblin slept at the foot of Kitty’s new bed.

Kitty sighed and flopped down. Mouse didn’t move at all. Kitty pulled her ragged blanket up to cover herself against the swamp's chill.

“Night, Mouse,” she said.

“Night,” mumbled Mouse. Kitty closed her eyes and almost instantly fell asleep.