I spent the entire evening mulling over things Cerolus would, could, or will do at some point. What is he going to do about Sarron? How will what happened make me look in his eyes? What is going to happen afterwards? Is there anything I could’ve done better?
Is he going to look for someone else for company? Helen has been pretty ambiguous about the entire situation, but if they don’t fret from sleeping with other people, will Cerolus do that? Has he done that already and I don’t know? What does that make me, a simple agreed-upon valuable that’s been traded and set for everyone to view? Am I going to end up alone while Cerolus does whatever he wants all the time? Does he even feel anything for me or was everything until now been just a polite ruse, for me to feel better about being imprisoned here?
Does he pity me, then do all of this to make himself look better in people’s eyes? ‘Lord Cerolus Kreshorok, looking after a poor little helpless girl, he is so handsome and good!’ Is that what people are saying behind my back? Is that why my family wasn’t nearly as fazed by the prospect of me leaving them? They haven’t even sent a letter asking about me, they haven’t even bothered to see if I’m doing well. It’s been a few months and they already forgot, as if I’ve never existed at all.
What do I do now? Do I just take all of this as it comes, and just pretend I am fine with everything happening around me, with my nonexistent life now, bending to everyone’s whim?
Is there a point in trying to like Cerolus, or am I simply doomed to a loveless life locked away in a castle, with no dashing knight in white armour to save the princess from the bad Demon that took her away. I should not have read all those stories as a child, I don’t even see the point of them now. He is so much more powerful than I, what could I ever do to him if I even bothered trying?
Was Sarron right all along? Should I have simply gone ahead and accepted it? If Cerolus doesn’t like me and just pretends he does, would it have gone better with someone else, someone that actually seemed to care?
No, Sophia, what are you thinking right now? If they’re both Demons, equally bad, how could one be better than the other? At least Cerolus didn’t try hurting me. Not yet at least.
But will he now? Will he just come in this room, his room since this is actually his house as opposed to ‘our’ castle out there, and do whatever he wants to prove that he owns me? Is this going to be it? Should I even try resisting it, or will that make the entire situation worse?
What am I going to do now? What is going to happen? How is this all going to end for me?
“I suggest talking.”
My eyes dart to the now opened doors of the room, where Tiana is standing. How did she hear me? Can she read my mind? Is that what Demons do? Is that how the War lasted so long? Did we even have a chance? That is a terrifying thought to have.
“You were thinking out loud, Mistress.”
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Oh. Crap. How much did she hear? Is she going to tell all of this to Cerolus? Have I just made my predicament worse than it is? Congratulations, Sophia, you somehow went from bad to worse because of your stupid mouth.
Tiana simply walks up to a chair in the room and sits. “This may not be an appropriate position, for me to talk to you this way, but I think it would do you well to hear someone else now.
I’ve been in Master Cerolus’ service for as long as I remember. My parents were in his service and me being here was something that seemed to matter to them. They trusted him, they still do, and they always say he treated them well. So they asked him to take me in as a simple servant if anything, and here I am over twenty years later.
Master Cerolus is, in my eyes, a good man. He is always nice, he treats people well, and he always seems to know exactly what to do with people around him. He never made me do anything… with him… and I have never heard of him doing anything like that to someone else as well. I don’t even remember if he has been with anyone these past years, all I know is that he treats people the way they treat him.
I don’t think I know all there is to know about Master Cerolus, even after twenty years by his side. I don’t think anyone knows Master Cerolus in his entirety, but I think that you want to. I think that you should try to get to know him, and he should try to get to know you too. All of us at home thought despicable things of you Humans as a whole, I think some still do, and I’m sure there are Humans, maybe even yourself, that inwardly hate us at the core. But Master Cerolus was willing to let all that be in the past and welcomed you. I don’t think he was wrong about doing that.
I may have even disliked you the first time I saw you, a little being full of hate for every single one of us, ready to make our lives miserable because she can. But you proved me wrong. So here I am, prepared to take any consequences for speaking without permission, asking you to just talk to him. I think it would do both of you good.
I also think you should talk to Kozzok sometimes, he is the one that had been closest to Master for a long time. He probably knows him in ways Master doesn’t even know himself, if that’s even possible.”
Why haven’t I done any of this sooner? Have I simply tried to get away from everyone all this time? If this is how Tiana thinks, then surely there must be something good after all? This can’t all be Cerolus’ grand plan of manipulating me; it would just be too cruel.
“I apologize if I have offended you in any way Mistress, and would like to take my leave now.”
“Why tell me all of this?” Is there something she gains with this, or something I lose?
“Why wouldn’t I? I serve Master Cerolus, and by extension, you. I am supposed to take care of you and try and help when I can. Can’t I do what is in my power to try and help you when I am able?”
I guess she has a point after all. What can I possibly lose at this point? There is nothing that can make this situation escalate even worse than it actually is, so why not take a chance? For once in your life, Sophia, take a stand and do something about yourself.
“You can go, Tiana. I’m just going to wait for Cerolus here.”
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It’s not long until I hear familiar hoof beats across the stone floors of the mansion. I’m not sure if I’ve grown to dread or enjoy that sound by now.
So, this is it. The night of nights.
As Cerolus enters wearily into the room, his clothes completely unblemished, his presence a perfection in itself, as if nothing had happened today, as if playing a part in a song or a story.
But no more rehearsing and playing a part.
My words begin what could be the end of everything I knew.
“I think we need to talk.”
He simply looks in my direction with solemn eyes and a stern face. He removes his coat, and for the first time I’ve seen him, lies on his side of the bed in his clothes. The red stars in his eyes completely disappear, the darkness overtaking everything around me.
“So, what would you like to know?”