“Oh my! Oh… Oh my! O-oh… Oh my!”

“It’s an entryway.” Ben stared at Paulav flatly.

The merchant was already halfway down the front hall of The Fey Way, and heading toward the end where the two doorways for the front desk and the dining room faced each other. That is before he stopped to marvel the long hutch and oil painting depicting a beach with woods in the distance, and various magical creatures dancing with humans on the sand.

“But there is such whimsy here in this entrance! And magic! Yes… Yes, magic! I know I’m a seeb, but you can feel it in the air!” Paulav cast his hands up theatrically.

Ben started to wonder if perhaps the true reason for Paulav’s unflappably cheery nature was due to some form of discrete drug use. Given how often people were getting dosed as of late around Ben, it didn’t seem too farfetched of a theory.

Spidena sidled up to Ben, her smile dreamy as she gazed off at nothing.

Ben couldn’t even acknowledge her. He was still too annoyed.

Luckily, there was the perfect distraction for Spidena skipping by his right side; Filif.

The little mushroom sprite was staring with childlike wonder at the inn’s interior.

Paulav noticed the sprite’s shared awe of the place and he stepped over to him excitedly. “Isn’t it wonderful? I must stay a night here! Oh… And I should buy a weekend room in advance as a gift certificate for Gabrinne and Nasha as a wedding gift! They would absolutely love this!”

Filif nodded his head, smiling brightly as his mushrooms bobbed with an exuberant air.

“Hello?” a familiar voice called out from the right doorway.

“Hi Daffy!” Ben hollered while taking a moment to wipe his boots on the oval woven mat before making his way past Paulav and Filif who were just then glancing into the dining room.

Stepping into the reception room, Ben couldn’t help but grin at the wood nymph. She wore another loose flowing dress over her larger form, but unlike the sunny yellows she had sported before, these ones were patterned in various shades of green with emerald and gold thread separating the colors.

“Man chop!” Daffy let out a joyful laugh as she made her way around the desk over to him.

Plucking him up into a hug, Ben discovered that the woman was just as strong as she was tall as his feet dangled off the floor and his ribs felt like they were being crushed together.

“Daffyyyyy!” Spidena greeted dotingly.

Ben felt a new restrictive force squeeze whatever breath remained in his body out.

Spidena must have joined the embrace.

“Spidena!”

The surprise in Daffy’s voice wasn’t as happy as it had been with Ben…

In fact there was a bit of hesitancy behind it.

This oddity was quickly forgotten however when the nymph released Ben, and he got to enjoy a gulp of air. Though his ribs twinged a bit when he did.

Spidena was smiling up at the wood nymph who blinked down at her, somewhat stunned.

“You two smell like you bathed in big magic. Oh… I hope the other customers don’t give you much trouble! We have a handful of goblins, a bridge troll couple on their honeymoon, some nymphs on their pre-splitting—”

“Pre-splitting?” Ben interrupted curiously.

“It’s like… a doe night. You know when women go out and celebrate before they get married? But for nymphs. They go out and frolick in the woods, drink as much mead as their bark can hold… It’s all good fun!” Daffy explained with a fond glint in her eye.

“Did you have one?” Ben asked conversationally.

“I went with my friends for theirs, but I wasn’t really wanting a copse of my own. I like being a lone trunk!” Daffy flicked her long ponytail over her shoulder.

“I’m glad to hear business is doing well,” he congratulated.

Daffy nodded, her eyes becoming fixated on Spidena who beamed back at her.

After a beat of silence, she then said, “Why is she smiling like that? It’s a little off-putting.”

Ben sighed. “Try listening to her talk.”

“That isn’t nice!” Spidena turned to Ben. Despite her words technically meaning to be chastising she looked amused. “I am in the middle of paying my magic debt for the incantation that saved us from the pixies!”

“Pixies?” Daffy reeled back, horror in her eyes. “They didn’t follow you here, did they?”

Spidena waved her hand in the air. “I took care of it. You look great, by the way! Oh! You need to meet Paulav! Ah! We could all play a game together!”

Daffy shot a look of concern at Ben. He shrugged wearily in response.

By this time, the merchant had finished marveling the clientele of The Fey Way, and turned to see who Ben and Spidena were talking to.

When his eyes rested on Daffy he froze, then slowly straightened himself. When Paulav realized he was staring at a woman taller and thicker than himself, he blinked. His sights rested briefly on the barky patches on her neck and exposed forearms, but then he met her eyes and broke out into a smile. “Beautiful!”

“Ooh!” Daffy lifted a hand to her chest and grinned at the flattery. “Well aren’t you a dear! Is this a warlock friend?” Daffy looked back down at Spidena.

“I’m afraid not, my dear lady, I am a seeb! But I love and respect the great wonders of magic and all of the beings that carry its existence in them.” Paulav swept into a graceful bow and Daffy began to fan herself.

“I knew you two would get along.” Ben couldn’t help but give a half smile.

When Paulav had righted himself he reached for the pouch of coins on his belt. “How much for a room?”

“Well hold on there,” Ben stepped forward while Daffy had grasped her hands together in mounting hopefulness. “Where is the inn going to reappear the next time it moves? Paulav, you have your caravan and horses.”

“Oh, we do have the stables!” Daffy reminded eagerly.

“Yes, but again, where are we going to reappear? Paulav has to get to a wedding.”

“A wedding? A seeb wedding?” Daffy looked beside herself with delight.

“A witch is getting married,” Ben clarified before looking to Paulav again. “And we are riding with him to get to Kintel. So if the inn happens to reappear back closer to Gabel, then Spidena and I wouldn’t want to stay.”

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“Awe!” Spidena pouted, earning a crazed look of irritation from Ben that screamed are you bloody well serious?

“Ah, that would be a bit of a problem if the inn’s disappearance set us back on our journey,” Paulav confessed, though the look on his face made Ben feel like he had just told a child there would be no cake or presents for their birthday.

“Well, I can talk to Obbie about keeping the inn in the same place for a night! Though, it does kind of move whenever someone is in need of it.”

“There can’t be scheduled stops? Like a coach? Or a ship?” Ben suggested.

Daffy grimaced. “That sounds a lot less fun. Sticking to a schedule…” She shuddered.

“HOLY SCUM! WHO THE HELL REEKS OF MAGIC? I CAN BARELY SMELL THE ONIONS ON MY OWN GODSDAMN CUTTING BOAR— Oh. It’s you two.” Obbie the fairy had startled everyone into turning around, and when they all laid eyes on the feisty fae cook, they all had strongly different reactions.

Ben’s reaction was akin to that of someone who had just had a pigeon take a dump on his shoes. Spidena looked mildly insane as she twitched violently in her efforts to not to smile, and Paulav…

The man looked like he had just found the meaning of life.

“Are you two staying here again? If so, stand out in the front yard. The big magic on you will attract more customers and it’ll let me cook without the stink,” the fairy ordered haughtily.

“If we do that, can we sleep and eat here for free?” Ben wondered while trying to sound casual.

“I’d consider it. What’s wrong with the witch?” Obbie jerked his chin in Spidena’s direction.

“She used an incantation that cost her the ability to be upset or… to think… I believe for a day? She is more sane now than she was twenty minutes ago, so I think it’s wearing off.”

“Huh. And the giant seeb that breathes like a snubbed snout dog?” Obbie’s gaze drifted lazily over to Paulav who only then remembered to close his mouth.

“This is our new gallant customer, Paulav!” Daffy introduced with a faint warning note in her voice.

Obbie’s violet eyes roved over Paulav from head to toe, appearing bored as he did so. “Dodder or seeb?”

“Seeb,” Daffy answered, her eyes narrowing and her hands finding her round hips.

“Hm. I am curious as to why we aren’t getting more human patrons. He’ll make a good test subject,” Obbie announced callously.

“Be nice!” Spidena snapped, stalking forward. “Paulav here is unbearably kind!” The manic smile on her face and her wide eyes made for a most disturbing picture.

The fairy’s eyebrows drifted lazily upward. “I see.”

“On another note, we might have already just explained the reason you aren’t getting more humans,” Ben jumped in, hoping to deescalate where the conversation was going. Though he did wonder if Paulav was alright or if the man had had a stroke as he continued gaping at Obbie without a word.

“Well? What’s this brilliant idea, Man Chop?”

“Still not a fan of the nickname,” Ben informed the fairy who didn’t seem to care what he thought about it. “But the problem is no one would want to stay at an inn that dumps them in some random place. They might have to do their journey twice if they check out and find they are all the way back to where they first started their trip, or they could be somewhere completely different.”

“It’s called being spontaneous and fantastical,” Obbie argued while swaggering closer to Ben.

“Humans don’t have an infinite amount of time to live. We have places to be and things to do,” he countered evenly.

“So what? We do a schedule just for you humans?” Obbie asked scathingly.

Ben stared at him blandly. “If you want to be in a customer service business for humans. Then you should do something like that, yes.”

“The Fey Way isn’t just for you self-centered dungpiles with mouths!”

“It was a good call making Daffy be the one to deal with customers,” Ben noted offhandedly.

“My point is we have all kinds of creatures and beings staying with us!” Obbie scoffed while tossing his head into the air disdainfully.

Rolling his eyes, Ben realized he was getting nowhere fast, and no one was helping him. “Do what you want. You were the one looking to figure out why there weren’t more humans that would want to stay. I also imagine they aren’t fans of feeling like they are enchanted and have no memory of the place that they spent money on.”

“Of course they would enjoy it! It’s a story to make their sad, short lives more interesting!”

Ben reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. It had been far too long of a day.

“How does the inn move exactly? You all vaguely mentioned it before,” Spidena interjected.

The fairy turned to look at her, some of his passion fading from his eyes. “Daffy’s connection with different nymphs. We transport to their groves by their individual trees.”

“Okay… Is it possible that there is a waiting area created with wood from each of those trees that people can go to and be transported that way on The Fey Way grounds?” she reasoned.

“Like if Daffy knows a lovely yew nymph, you have a limb from the tree installed in the ground here. Then couldn’t people theoretically move through the magic to the tree from it? Kind of like certain docks have certain ships that go to specific places? Get a limb from each of the locations that are near humans, and set it up that way. Then they go out into the yard and disappear and reappear according to said limb. Meaning they wouldn’t have to worry about winding up somewhere they don’t want to be. You could even charge for priority transportation if it gets crowded enough.”

No one spoke.

“I knew she was brilliant!” Daffy burst out, clapping her hands together, her elation immediately filling the atmosphere with a welcoming glow.

Obbie shook his head in defeat. “I admit… It isn’t a bad idea.”

It was the first time since she started enduring the cost of her incantation that Ben suspected Spidena’s smile was genuine.

“You…” Paulav cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention to him as he kept his attention reverently fixed on Obbie. “You are amazing.”

Obbie stared at Paulav. Blinked a number of times, then said. “I know.”

He then turned and started sauntering back toward the dining room and his kitchen. “Well, stay or don’t stay. But I do look forward to hearing what ridiculous problems Man Chop and his witch have now!”

Ben felt the exhaustion overtaking his body, and so it was difficult to not simply find a nice corner to curl up and fall asleep in. But he could tell from the look on Paulav’s face, the man was a little too stunned staring after Obbie to properly manage the present.

So, Ben clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go get the caravan and horses and bring them to the stable.”

At the very least, this seemed to jolt Paulav out of his daze enough that he could look at Ben, give a distracted smile and nod, while starting to move back toward the front door.

A shriek rang out, making them all jump and whirl around.

Daffy had braced herself against the welcome desk, her eyes round, her face filled with terror.

Ben felt his right hand closing into a fist, and he started to prepare himself to use his secret weapon… Until he realized what had frightened the nymph so soundly, was none other than Filif.

And the little sprite was staring up at her looking oddly… hungry.