George handled things when we got home. Looking out the trailer’s windows I could see that it looked like everyone in the entire compound was now crammed into my own private two acre fenced in domain. They also looked like they were preparing for an attack. It took some time to empty my trailer of all the feather heads. Finally George, Mack, Glen, Steve and a new guy came inside.
They didn’t seem to like how I looked, especially with my bloody pants which stank of blood and other things. At least I hadn’t shit myself yet. I was introduced to the man I didn’t know. He was Boris Khan and was now one of the two lieutenants for our new Guard. Next, Steve told me about their battle with three Sky Krakens and he briefed me on what they were doing to prepare for an expected second attack.
Damn it, not only did it look like I would never get rid of all these assholes but now everybody was crammed into my final refuge. I was angry, I stank, I wanted to get cleaned up and most of all I wanted to kill some more of those damn monsters that were constantly fucking up my life. I had another weapon I could possibly give them, if I had enough time to make it for them.
“Well done all of you, especially you Boris.” I think I can add something else to our arsenal. When we were attacked by those mammoth riding lizard men I was seriously disappointed with how ineffective our mortars were in actual combat because of their solid non-explosive cannon balls. It obviously takes a direct hit for such a projectile to cause any damage to our enemies. But I still don’t like the idea of putting explosives in mortar shells because, as far as I know, none of us here have much experience with such explosives or the time to experiment to get things right. So instead, I went looking for a magical solution. I used the knowledge I gained from developing the fire pins and heat stones as a starting point for a new weapon.
I was originally planning this enchantment for our mortars but it should work for our 20mm rifles too. I’m pretty sure a 20mm projectile is big enough for the enchantment. Imagine this, a 2omm bullet is magically prepared to accept and store a heat charge. Next the barrel of the 20mm rifle is altered so it will ‘arm’ the bullet once it’s shot from the rifle, so that the very next solid object that said projectile hits will cause all of the heat energy stored inside the bullet to be instantaneously released. I haven’t fully tested the magic but I’m pretty sure that I’ve worked out how to do it. Put me in my shop, give me a 20mm rifle, and a bullet, and in an hour I should be able to give you something to test. I’m hoping to make projectile that is at least the equivalent of a small explosive charge. What are your opinions? Will such a weapon be a worthwhile addition to our defensive capabilities?”
Their eyes got very big, and soon I found myself being carried into my garage. I had to order the impatient bastards to drop me off in my bathroom first. What was going on in my pants was really gross and it would be far too much of distraction for me to work without getting cleaned up beforehand. But there was no way I was going to ask for any help in the bathroom; I didn’t want anyone to see Franken-dick.
Since the ladies had moved all my stuff, I asked Jennifer to locate a pair of my sweat pants, boxers, a t-shirt, robe and slippers. I was left sitting on the toilet seat with a large pair of scissors. My shoes and socks had already been removed by Steve. Now that I was alone I cut off my pants and underwear, then I very painfully emptied my bladder. Next, I slowly and carefully climbed into the bathtub to gently wash myself. It was embarrassing but I had to call for help when I was dressing myself. I just wasn’t able to pull my pants up. Jennifer must have been waiting right outside the door. She came in immediately to help me finish donning my clothes. She then spoke.
“Vincent I got your big office chair in the hallway, it’s not a wheelchair but with its large casters it rolls pretty easily.”
“Good idea Jen. If you can help me get seated and then wheel me out to the garage, I can get to work.”
“Boss, do you think we can stop those monsters if they do attack tonight.”
I looked at Jennifer’s face. Her face was pale, her lower lip was quivering and she looked ready to cry. I would have lied but she had true sight. “Jennifer from what Steve and Boris told me, I think we have a fifty-fifty chance against them. This house is strong and Mack and his crew have dug a lot of trenches. In addition, Boris has repositioned the mortars and the tanks are all back. If the krakens come in stupidly and my new bullet enchantment does work then I think we have a fair chance against them. But we’ll all have to do our very best.”
She nodded her headed in reply but she looked pretty glum. I guess she was looking for a more hopeful response from me.
Jen pushed my chair out to the garage. I asked her to locate Grace for me; soon both ladies were inside my new magical workshop. I guess, for now I could just imagine it as being in an isolated cave in a deep dark forest. The four ladies had done an excellent job in moving all my stuff to my new man cave. Grace had even built me a couple of nice large work tables that were a lot better than my old kitchen table for performing my experiments on, though I won’t tell her that. I quickly found my research/design notes for what needed to be engraved on the 20mm rifle barrel and bullet. It took me twenty minutes to engrave both and another two minutes to carefully charge the bullet, which I thought wasn’t bad at all, considering the hoped for destructive power of the round. If the bullet hadn’t already been part of a cartridge I could have charged it much quicker; as it was the black powder made me nervous and cautious. I gave the rifle to Grace, with the bullet in the magazine.
“Grace, find someone to shoot this gun. They should be very careful with it and shoot at a target that is at least one hundred yards away for this first test. If it works, find Glen and get me some 20mm bullets that have not already been mated with cartridges full of explosive powder. He can load the bullets after you or I charge them.”
She nodded her head and carried the heavy gun carefully out the garage’s side door, let me correct that. Grace very carefully carried the heavy rifle out the dank, dark, depressing side tunnel of my cave. Ten minutes later I heard a muffled “Whump!” noise. Ten minutes after that, she came running back in with Glen, a bag full of bullets and one more rifle.
“Captain Mesquida says make more, make lots more!” Her eyes were alight.
Damn it, they didn’t even tell me how well it did, how rude! Andrew Thomas and Scott Blaine who were both shop guys came in a few minutes later pushing a large cart, which was packed with cartridge reloading supplies and equipment. I would engrave a bullet, Grace would charge it and then Andy or Scott would carefully load it into cartridge. We soon found a problem. It took Grace a lot longer to charge a bullet than it took me. I could engrave a bullet before she finished charging one. It was necessary to bring Ron in to help and have the two of them alternate in charging bullets. I was even forced to charge a few when they got too tired. I know that both of them had been charging heat stones but I had never stuck around to see them complete one from start to finish. I had to wonder how long it actually took them and if they were giving the fire stones a full charge or not. On the other hand, we never completely emptied the heat stones and just topped of their stored energy whenever it was convenient, or at least I did. It was of course a lot quicker adding more heat energy than starting when it was totally empty.
Every time a cartridge was completed a runner immediately took it away for delivery. Dusk was just starting when I began engraving bullets. When I got three bullets done, I started modifying a second rifle.
I asked Glen while I was working to empty out my garage by the shop and make it available for the Long Flight Clan. I suggested that he talk to Steve about getting them some things that they might need, like blankets. He was gone for over an hour once I gave him that little chore. I got the second rifle and five more bullets completed while he was away. When I finished my tenth bullet, I was brought a third rifle to enchant.
Storm Wind was both worried and astounded. He saw the corpses of the monsters that the strange ground walkers had successfully fought and he knew that his own clan would have all died facing even one of the giant Sky Kraken. Steve Monet took the time to see to his people’s comfort and explain what he knew about the monsters. The human called Mack and his work crew was even now busy digging wider slit trenches to accommodate his clan so they could take cover when the expected battle came. All the humans he saw, seemed to be amazed when his clan first exited the “travel trailers,” especially the younger ones. Their healers had immediately started to assist his injured clan members. He just wished that there was something that he and his few warriors could do to help fight the monsters that they all expected to come that night.
Sky Devourer was furious, two of her children had been slain and a third one had been seriously wounded and might die. She called her shoal together. For now, they would stop trying to crack open another one of those strange blocky hills that contained so many monkeys and follow her youngest, while he lived, to the place where his siblings had been slain.
Almost for every hour that went by, I was able to enchant five bullets and modify one rifle. Isabella stood by me constantly, feeding me bits of food and drink when I needed it, which was frequently.
Sky Devourer saw the camp of the monkeys. There were strange lights illuminating the area and even the sky above. She was tempted to rush in and destroy them immediately but she was old and canny. She well knew the traits of monkeys, their poor night vision and sleeping habits. She would wait for the middle of the darkness, and have her shoal slowly and stealthily creep up on them. By using only their legs and tentacles to move while just above tree height, her shoal should be nearly silent. They would surround the monkey camp and when she thought she and her fellow Sky Krakens were ready, she would order the attack. Sky Devourer was proud of her plan and twisted her tentacles about, as she visualized turning monkeys into bloody pulp with her powerful limbs.
She knew that her tactics would make it easier for her and her fellow Sky Krakens to slay all the stupid sleeping monkeys and thus she wouldn’t have to go chasing any of them down. For she had vowed to herself, that not of one of those damn delicious little tree climbers would survive to reproduce after killing her own children.
George and Steve were up on the little water tower by Vince’s house, since this tower serviced the Boss’s two story home it was ten feet higher than the village’s other water towers. Because of the men’s true sight ability and two pairs of damn fine binoculars stolen from the Hermit’s house they could easily see the Sky Krakens gathering in the distance. Both men were praying for just a little more time, so that Vince could make more bullets and modify a few more rifles. They now had three rifles and fifteen bullets but they counted over sixty of the giant flying squids.
Personally, Captain Mesquida thought Boris’s idea of using the mortars as giant shotguns was brilliant but George also thought they would be lucky to score any hits with the twenty-four mortars. He expected the tanks only to be useful as a distraction since their guns probably couldn’t elevate and aim quickly enough to pose any kind of real threat to the krakens.
Over five hours passed and the Captain was feeling better, not exactly happy but better. He couldn’t understand why the krakens hadn’t attacked yet. The past few hours had let them install an improved 20mm rifle by the commander’s hatch on all three tanks and put five of the newly enchanted guns in the Priest. All of the twenty millimeters guns had five bullets each and they were now out of the large rifles. Vince was now only engraving bullets.
George was standing in the commander’s hatch in the Hellcat when he heard the toot of an air horn, coming from the water tower in Vince’s yard. Steve was signaling that the krakens were moving in. People had been hiding in the trenches or in Vince’s basement for hours at that point. They had taken shelter ever since the enormous group of Sky Krakens had first been spotted.
What with monster’s sprint speed, they didn’t dare do anything else. Strangely, instead of rushing in, the monsters came in at almost a leisurely pace. They took over twelve minutes to travel the estimated two miles from their former position. However, the manner the krakens used to approach and surround the Hermit’s courtyard was certainly way beyond being creepy. It was like the monsters were walking on top of the trees.
Sky Devourer didn’t want to get too close, her plan was to have her entire shoal bombard the monkeys with air bursts, stunning them and thus making them easy prey. She knew that monkeys could not throw their rocks and sticks further than her own shoal could shoot air blasts.
George watched the squids encircle the compound. It was evident they were concentrating on the Hermit’s private fenced in enclosure, where all the activity currently was, and for now ignoring the rest of the compound. The Priest was stationed between the house and the shop, the Sherman and the Scorpion were north of the shop while his own Hellcat was south of the Priest. It wasn’t the most ideal arrangement but he thought it was the best that he could do with what they had.
Captain Mesquida reflected on the test results, of Vince’s new enchanted bullet, that he had earlier witnessed. Candace had fired the projectile into a small hill on the gun range. The bullet had either blown or melted a hole almost seventeen inches wide and just as deep. It had also fused the dirt lining the hole for another six inches. When he and the other spectators had walked up to examine the results more closely, they could all still feel the extreme heat radiating from the small crater. Clyde had told him how one of Vince’s forty-five pound fire stones could produce over five hundred degrees Fahrenheit of heat continuously for a little over fourteen hours. If what Vince was doing to the 20mm projectile, scaled down accurately from a forty-five pound stone to a one hundred gram bullet, then that was one hell of a lot of heat to instantaneously release on a foe.
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George had his 20mm rifle aimed at the largest Sky Kraken in his sector. He had ordered his men to commence firing when either a kraken in their area got closer than one hundred and seventy-five yards or when they heard someone else begin firing. There was a loud bang that sounded like it came from the other side of the shop and George began shooting, he just wished that he didn’t have to prime the pan on his rifle between shots. If he survived this he hoped that Glen and Vince would make proper rifle bolts and enchanted fire pins for the 2omm rifles as soon as was possible.
Each mortar had a jury-rigged spotlight affixed along its barrel. It wasn’t a laser targeting sight but it was installed on a really big ass shotgun and not a handgun or an assault rifle. Each mortar was loaded with thirty, fifty caliber balls and a triple charge of black powder. While Glen wasn’t entirely confident about that amount of powder, the people who loaded the mortars and who were pulling the lanyards figured that they would only have one shot, so that they had better make it a good one.
What happened next should be the new text book definition of a literal mad minute. When the 20mm sharpshooters began firing, six of the eight bullets delivered mortal wounds, three of them being instantly fatal. The projectiles, besides penetrating deeply and burning the monsters, triggered steam explosions in the creatures flesh. These were caused by the moisture in the krakens’ soft tissues being instantly converted into super hot vapor, thus causing horrifically painful wounds. The two rifles that failed to deliver deadly wounds still struck their targets; they just blew off legs and tentacles instead of hitting the mantles of the beasts.
The wounded krakens screamed which provoked the rest of the Sky Krakens to rush in; which was what the mortar men and women had been waiting for. Those brave individuals thought they were dead when they first saw those massive monsters and they didn’t want their deaths to be for nothing, nor more importantly did they want to fail their families. Never had twenty-four men and women been more vigilant or careful. So when the monsters entered their targeting spotlights for their individual mortars, lanyards were pulled and flintlock mechanisms were triggered. George had hoped that four of the mortars would cause significant wounds to the beasts, but instead sixteen of them caused horrendous injuries. One of the sixteen actually managed to kill an unlucky kraken and seven others delivered fatal wounds but not instantly so. The remaining eight mortars hit their targets as well but they failed to deliver the level of damage that the other sixteen had done. It is kind of hard to miss a target the size of a bus when using shotgun.
This second blow to the krakens caused almost twenty of the monsters to scream in pain, which caused a “what the fuck” moment for the rest of the beasts. Tragically for them, they all paused to look around and figure out what the hell was exactly happening to them and their fellow krakens. That many Sky Krakens being severely hurt simultaneously; had never happened before as far as any of them knew. That pause was disastrous for them and their fellows. It gave the sharpshooters time to reload, and it gave the men manning the cannons in the both Sherman and the Hellcat time to aim. The 20mm rifle men and women shot first, followed almost immediately by the Sherman and the Hellcat. The Hellcat mostly missed but the Sherman blew a large hole in the Sky Kraken it had been aiming for. This was too much for the krakens, they had the same fight or flee instincts as most other creatures do, and even though it was rarely used when they were together in a large group, the flee instinct was still there deep inside of them. Almost half of their number was dead, dying or badly hurt; the rest of them fled as fast as their jet propulsion and magic could make them go. Too bad for those that were severely wounded and couldn’t escape quickly enough.
Candace Murphy was in command of the Priest. One of her sharpshooters was her own mother Denise Murphy who was a nurse. Candace and Denise had been in many marksmanship competitions together ever since Candace was a child. Candy’s father, Sean Murphy, had been dying before the Warnings came and was still not in the best of health. He was waiting things out in the machine shop. All the repositioned floodlights and spotlights clearly showed retreating and falling squids. Suddenly Candace heard her mother begin to sing and upon hearing the words she couldn’t help but sing along with a terribly hacked up version of the old Pointer Sisters’ song while giggling in relief at still being alive.
“It’s Raining Squid! Hallelujah!
It’s Raining Squid! Every Sky Kraken!”
When I heard the first shot go off, I started using my feet to push my chair towards my cave’s side door. I was betting I could cook a couple squids before I went down. I got to the door and there was big blast of sound. I was certain that every mortar in the compound had just simultaneously been triggered. I struggled to my feet, and grabbed an old steel rake which was racked on the wall to use as a cane. Getting my hand on the door knob, I could hear terrific screaming and roaring noises coming from the outside. Throwing the door open, I stood shakily in the entranceway, my bathrobe had come undone, there were more rifle shots. Next came the sound of two cannons letting loose, which nearly deafened me because of the Hellcat being so close by.
I stepped through the door using the rake and I looked up, searching for a target. There were squids that were falling, some barely floating and a huge number jetting away as fast as they could go. The ones that were floating were being taken under fire. I stood by and watched, ready to lend a hand if needed but it wasn’t. Finally the shooting stopped, those with appraisal, searched the area, verifying that the fallen monsters were dead.
George was in the commander’s hatch in the Hellcat and looked down at me. I picked up the rake in one hand like a cane, and shook it at him. I snarled, “You mind telling me why there are dead kraken on my front lawn and who the hell dug all these trenches in my yard!!? Getting no reply from him except an open mouthed look, I retied my bathrobe, turned around, stumbled back through my cave’s side door and slammed it shut. This is worse than that one devil’s night when my parents’ house got covered in toilet paper and egged!
The crew of the Hellcat couldn’t figure out how their Captain had managed to fall out of their vehicle immediately after the battle. Strangely, after nearly killing himself in the fall, they found him on the ground roaring with laughter. It was a story that went down in history and whenever he was asked him about it, he would just start laughing again.
I gently lowered my aching body back into my chair and let out a sigh. Jennifer was looking at me with wide eyes; her children were in the basement so it was safe to let my feelings be known. I grumbled, “There are fucking dead giant squids littered all around my house and they stink! I even think a few tentacles and legs are lying across the roof. Lord knows what’s going to happen when those kraken start to rot.”
She looked back at me, “we won?”
“Yes, we won but who’s going to clean up that mess?”
She ran into house screaming “we won.” I guess she was going to find her kids. I wonder if I offered her children five bucks if they’d clean up all those dead monsters. Heck, I’ll even let them use my rake.
Forty minutes later George, Mack, Glen, and Steve came inside to speak with me. Steve began talking. “Boss, there are thirty-one dead krakens out there not counting the two that were killed earlier. We’ve got a shortage of beds and we might have to hot bunk for a while but we’re dealing with it. The two krakens from this afternoon wrecked a double wide home, two older single wide houses and one of our big greenhouses.
Vince I did an appraisal on the monsters they are edible and we’ve got a lot more people. What do you think?”
All those present in the garage looked at me with concerned expressions. “My rule is that since they came here to this compound looking to kill and eat us that I will make a onetime exception to eating the flesh of a sentient being but only for the krakens that were killed tonight. The flesh taken from them will only be eaten by those adults who volunteer to do so and children are forbidden to eat that meat. Who knows, gathering and eating such a meal might get us in serious trouble with the Ding-Ding System. But before you start cutting them up, I want other people’s opinions, have Faith and Jim do that and make sure that they talk to Chief Storm Wind and get his clan’s opinion on the subject. Once I’ve heard other people’s thoughts on that matter then I’ll make a final decision.” I saw some relieved expressions on the faces around me. We discussed a few more matters and then the four men left.
While I was troubled with the thought of eating the kraken flesh, I would be the first to do so. The meat was from monstrous beings that had tried to eat us, we had a lot more people now, our supply situation could be better and this new source of fresh food was literally on our door step.
Faith, Jim and Steve returned twenty-five minutes later. Faith did the talking. “Vince we talked with over half the adults and Chief Storm Wind talked with all the adults in his clan. The Long Flight Clan has no objections and all their adults are willing to eat the kraken meat. Everyone we talked to; had no objections since eating the meat is voluntary and half of those we spoke with, volunteered.”
“I guess most people are as crazy as I am. Grace can you get me a fry pan and some cooking oil. I’m going to cut up one of those animals and try some calamari right now. If someone is going to take a hit from the DDS it’s going to be me.” I got some objections to my plan but I snarled them back down, hard. This was my fucking place and I get to eat first!
I had Steve get me wheelbarrow and he laid the tip of one tentacle across it. It was one nasty, vicious looking limb and actually it didn’t have a lot of useable meat because of the sucker teeth and claws. I had to use a handsaw to cut off a hunk, which I then cut down into smaller pieces with a large serrated knife. I poured some oil in the fry pan and tossed in the meat. I didn’t like doing it but we had to know if there were any repercussions to my actions, so I temporarily made public everything in my status screen and I had Steve use his appraisal skill on me while I was cooking and eating. The flesh was definitely chewy but it seemed fine.
“You notice any change Steve?”
He had a very strange expression on his face. “Vince does the DDS always talk to you so sarcastically?”
“Pretty much”
“Oh, well you have a new title as the ‘Worlds Worst Calamari Chef’ and a skill as a Beginner Calamari Chef Level 0.2. While you were cooking the squid your Leadership went from intermediate level four to level five. When you ate the cooked meat it went from level five to level six. So I don’t think the DDS has any problem with your actions.”
He had seen the same things that I had but I could really use a beer while eating this squid. I couldn’t actually be the “World Worst Calamari Chef,” could I? I mean I hadn’t poisoned myself, yet. “So Steve, do you have any ideas on how we’re going to store all of this meat?”
“Not really Boss, I was hoping you had one? We do have some space in our steam engine powered freezers but it would only two kraken legs to fill them up.”
“Do we have any empty steel shipping containers?”
“Yes we do, we’ve got two completely empty and two more that I can get empty if I shift some things around.”
“I mentioned before that I was going to setup a way for our firestones to recharge themselves, well it’s time to start doing it. I’ll need Glen to make some steel boxes with two doors or lids. Once I enchant the new boxes and stones it will work like this, if door one is open the stone absorbs the heat around it, down to zero degrees Fahrenheit. If door two is open, then the stone releases heat like our old firestones. They will need periodic touchups on their enchantments but this will still be a time safer for those of us with fire magic. If Glen wants to make smaller boxes for household use we can do that too. We’ll stick a new stone in each container and pile dirt against them to act as insulation. There is only so much heat the stones can absorb, so once their full they stop working. By my calculations they should last for at least seventy hours while in a sealed room, it all depends on the ambient temperature.”
“Boss I know you’re tired but if I have Glen whip up some boxes in the next few hours, do you think you can do a couple before morning?”
“Yeah, I expected you’d need them right away. As for the parts of the krakens you don’t want, pile them up on the road in front. We’ll gather all those with Fire Magic and we’ll reduce all the bodies to ash. That way we get rid of the mess and get some practice in at the same time. I’m going inside, when Glen has the boxes and rocks ready, just have him bring them on over. It shouldn’t take long for me to enchant them since I don’t have to throw a big charge into the stones.”
I finally got to bed at five a.m., after taking another painful piss.