Hermione sat in the living room on a tattered couch reading the book, “Protection Charm Your Mind: A Practical Guide to Counter Legilimensy.” She wasn’t sure where the book came from other than she found it hidden amongst one of her piles of books that was delivered to her from the headmaster. Surely, he couldn’t have meant to slip this one in. All of her reading now consisted of academic tomes. She didn’t have any time for extra research. However, given the circumstances of what happened a couple weeks ago, she thought it probably wouldn’t hurt to flip through the pages. The inner cover had the initials TG written in sharp, pointed letters and she wondered who it had belonged to in its previous life.

Her eyes darted back and forth across the pages as she tried to read as quickly as possible. She had no idea when Lupin would return. He had been gone for nearly three days now on a mission for the Order. She knew if he caught her reading something that wasn’t strictly for school, he would be displeased with her.

He was looking rather down lately. She was trying to keep his spirits up by making him his favorite meals and keeping the conversation light. She admitted that being stuck in a tiny cottage for months on end probably wasn’t his favorite way to spend his autumn. Especially with only her for company. However, he was allowed outside whenever he wanted. She was on house arrest and not allowed to talk to anyone. She missed her parents terribly. All she wanted to do was write to them and Harry and Ron. Her heart ached at the thought of them.

She grabbed the small, beaded bag that held all her belongings and accioed the pictures of them. The picture of her, Harry, and Ron showed them laughing and smiling for the camera. Colin Creevey took the picture last year during a celebration of winning a game of quidditch against Ravenclaw. The other picture was still. It showed her parents smiling as they sat on the porch swing that hung at her grandmother’s house. Lilacs bloomed behind them and it was a beautiful day to sit outside. Her eyes sparkled with tears that she wouldn’t let fall. She was here for a reason. If this helped them win the impending war, it was worth not seeing her friends and family for a while. She put the photos carefully back inside the bag and pushed the thoughts of friends and family away.

Just as she had settled back into her reading there was a loud CRACK! Hermione jumped and spilled her tea onto the front of her shirt causing her to hiss to pain. She heard the screeching of the wooden chair in the kitchen being pushed across the floor. Hermione leapt to her feet and strode across the hall to see Lupin slumped in a chair in the kitchen.

“Professor?” She called out nervously. He made a moaning grunt like an ill dog. “Professor Lupin? Are you alright?”

His robes were tattered and covered in blood. She wasn’t sure if it was all his though. His soft, grey eyes met hers, “We had a bit of a nasty run in.” Remus grimaced as his shifted.

“We?” Hermione asked, her heart leapt at the thought of any scrap of news. It had been weeks of nothing. Remus kept to himself most of the time if they weren’t talking about something school related and any time she tried to bring up Harry or Ron, he changed the subject quickly. She had even tried bringing up Sirius once, but this only got her a stern look and a reminder that Order business was limits until she was of age.

“Yes, Tonks and I.” His face almost seemed to – soften – at the mention of the pink haired witch. Hermione had met her over the summer at Grimmauld Place. She was a young auror learning under Mad eye Moody. She wasn’t much older than Hermione, really. In her early twenties and had a fiery attitude that was a good match to Moody’s – well, rather moody – disposition. She and Hermione had a few good conversations, but she hadn’t heard much from her after returning to school.

It was easy running into people at Grimmauld Place. Wizards and witches of all types were constantly in and out of the headquarters for the Order of the Pheonix while she stayed there last summer. It was night and day in comparison to the sheltered life she was restricted to now.

Hermione perked up at the mention of the young auror. “Tonks? How is she doing?”

“She’s been kept busy, as you would expect. Between the Order and Mad eye, she’s been running about almost every night. And you can about imagine how she is dealing with the news –“ Lupin stopped himself, immediately looking annoyed.

“News?” Hermione pressed.

“Never you mind that. You’ll know about it soon enough. You need to focus on your studies. We are very nearly halfway through the semester. How are you doing on your blood replenishing potion?”

Hermione glanced at the bubbling cauldron that was sitting on the countertop. “It’s nearly done brewing.”

Lupin nodded, “I’ll take a look at it after I get myself cleaned up.” Lupin gripped the table and started to pull himself up until he lost his balance and fell heavily back in the chair. Hermione stood and gripped his forearm and he pulled himself up again, this time standing. His large frame leaned heavily on her as she struggled to help him into the bathroom they shared. Hermione was thankful Professor Lupin was relatively clean in comparison to Ron whose bathroom he shared with his twin brothers at the Burrow was enough to make her stop in her tracks and turn tail if she had the misfortune of stepping foot in it.

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She got him to the sink where he was able to support himself on it and watched as he pointed his wand at his torso and started healing himself. “Professor? How did you learn how to do that?”

Lupin glanced at her with a small smile, “It is necessary with my…affliction. It was one of the first things I taught myself when coming to Hogwarts.” Hermione mulled the thought of an eleven-year-old Remus Lupin studying in the library and practicing spells on himself once a month after changing. “Eventually, Sirius would help me. The spells are much easier to do on someone else.”

Hermione leaned on the wall by the sink, “D’you think you could teach me sometime? You never know when that could come in handy with Ron and Harry.” She said with a small laugh that Lupin echoed.

Lupin nodded, “I’m sure it would come in handy with those two.” He said with a laugh. “I’ve mostly finished, but I’m sure there will be another opportunity soon.” His face darkened at the end.

Hermione wanted to question him why, but she bit her tongue. She knew that if she wanted to get more information from him, she would need to space out her questions and slip them in when he wasn’t paying attention.

- - -

Hermione stared at the ceiling of the small, plain bedroom she had in the cottage. It was really just a bed in a room and nothing more, hardly enough to call it her own, but she had charmed the mattress so it wasn’t as stiff and that was something. She flopped on her side then to her stomach then back to her side before sighing in a frustrated huff. Then a small noise pricked her ears in through the quiet darkness. She held her breath and listened to the noise. It almost sounded like…talking? But the voice was far too light and high to be Professor Lupin’s. Hemrione listened and heard who she knew for sure was Lupin. He sounded strained, like he was whispering but it was a struggle to contain himself.

Hermione sat up in bed and carefully swung her legs out and planted her feet quietly on the stone floor. The cold stone was a shock to the warm soles of her feet as she stood and fought the urge to shiver. She crept towards the door and slowly opened it. It made a soft creaking noise as she slowly pulled it open and she stopped dead. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, hoping no one had heard the small noise, but soon after she heard the softer voice again.

She finished opening the door and toed her way slowly down the hall to see there was a faint light coming from the living room. She pressed her back to the wall and slid against it, careful to stay in the shadows.

“I refuse to doom you to a life no one should have to endure!” Remus angrily whispered. “Its not safe and I would rather die than put you in harms way! Especially when the danger comes from my own hands.”

“Remus, do you not remember what I chose to do for a living? Every day I put myself in harms way, hell, I enjoy it!”

“This is different, Nymphadora!”

Hermione held back a gasp of shock. Tonks was here? What was she doing here? Was it Order business?

“Please, Remus! You know the law will affect me next. Don’t subject me to being bid on like cattle.” She pleaded with him. “Let me have some dignity. I know you have feelings for me, whether you care to admit it to yourself or not.”

Hermione felt the wall shake as something hit it heavily. “I will not put you in danger once a month just to fulfil a desire! I care about you too much for that.”

“I will be in danger either way. I would much rather live my life in danger with you than a man who I don’t know and don’t care about.” Tonks said softly. “Please, just think about it.”

There was a pause where no one said anything, and then she heard a swish of robes and Tonks appeared in the hall mere feet away from her. Hermione quickly and quietly backed further down the hall and into the shadows. She watched as the young auror quietly stormed from the house and shut the front door forcefully behind her, shaking the windows.

Hermione scurried back to her room and shut the door with a light click. She launched herself back into her bed and hid herself under the covers.

This had to be related to the news Professor Lupin had slipped up about last week. What was she going on about a law? And why would she be bid on? Hermione thought about Remus’ pleas to her about safety. The fact that he admitted to having feelings for her didn’t shock Hermione. She saw the way he looked at her over the summer and the way his face softened when talking about her. But she didn’t understand his resistance to her when she obviously returned his feelings. Hermione wanted to know more. She wished she was able to get the Daily Prophet. Something big was happening and she had a feeling Dumbledore was specifically trying to keep her from finding out about it.

- - -

The following weeks yielded no results in Hermione’s questions about what she heard that night. Every time she brought up Tonks, Professor Lupin would go rigid and change the subject quickly. Hermione was getting more and more hopeless as the days went on. He was like a sealed vault since that night and she knew he was getting perturbed by her questions. He was more guarded around her and their chats became less friendly and more formal every passing day. He was closing off from her and she had no idea how to get him to open up more. That, and he was being sent away on missions for the Order more frequently now. He was gone for long stretches and came home beaten and bloody most of the time. He now allowed her to heal him when he apparated back to the cottage, which gave her a small bit of hope. He rarely talked to her now while she healed him though. Gone were the small smiles and laughter that he gave her occasionally before. Now, the only time he talked to her was about schoolwork.

The semester was ending soon, and she would report to Dumbledore for her testing in a couple short weeks. After that, she didn’t know where she would be again. The thought made her stomach clench uncomfortably. She knew she was ready for her tests, but not knowing what Dumbledore had in store for her made her nervous. She had a sinking feeling it wouldn’t be as easy as this had been.