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The Death God's Daily Troubles
[Chapter 13] Yep, It’s Definitely Too Late, He Already Has Severe Brain Damage

[Chapter 13] Yep, It’s Definitely Too Late, He Already Has Severe Brain Damage

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Royal Academy, Second Floor Hallway (Kyle POV)

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The sound of hurried footsteps echoed throughout the hallway as a few late students ran to their classrooms while I yawned and continued to slowly make my way towards room 207. A few moments passed as the hallway emptied out before I finally arrived at the entrance to my classroom. Right above the new door that I installed yesterday, a simple sign with the number ‘207’ written on it was attached to the wall.

“Well, it might be a little shoddy compared to before, but at least there isn’t a crowd here anymore.” (Kyle)

You see, after class ended yesterday, everyone nearby gathered around the entrance to the classroom to investigate the cause of the loud sound and I had to drive them all away before being able to even make my way out of the room. But despite being unfortunately labeled a dangerous individual by my peers on my first day, I persevered and went to the shopping district to get some building supplies, where I managed to find a new door and some window panes as replacements. However, while installing the new window panes and door was easy enough, I wasn’t exactly an expert on fixing walls so I just left the crack in the wall untouched and decided to find a professional later.

I stared at the door for a moment and wiped the sleepy expression off my face before grabbing the door handle and entering the classroom. The warm morning sunlight shone in through the newly installed windows, illuminating the classroom as six people locked their eyes onto me. Yep, that’s right, six. On one side of the room, Halbert, Regnis, and Zane were lightly huddled together, chatting to each other, while on the other side of the room sat Sophie, Reina, and… Mari. There was silence as I locked eyes with Mari who was smiling angrily at me while crossing her arms, and a moment passed before I cleared my throat and stared back with a smile on my face.

“Ahem. Sorry, wrong room.” (Kyle)

I immediately turned around, closed the door behind me, and started walking back the exact same way I came, but I only made it about ten feet down the hallway before I heard the door being slammed open behind me along with Mari’s voice.

“Get back here, Ky!” (Mari)

I ignored her voice, the sound of running footsteps, and the light gust of wind behind me with a blissfully unaware smile as I took two more steps forward. Then I felt someone dropkick me in the back. A strong force blasted me in the middle of my spine and I fell over onto the floor face first as wind blasted through the hallway, ruffling my clothes. Mari mounted me like she was riding a horse and sat down on my back while I was still on the floor before talking to me in a cold voice as her eyes shone with an angry glint.

“So, Ky. What do you have to say for yourself?” (Mari)

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, my dear Mari.” (Kyle)

“Oh? Then I wonder what could have possibly been the cause of the cracked wall in your classroom? I guess it must have been an intruder or something, seeing as there’s no way you would’ve negligently put your entire class in danger while also wrecking half the classroom yesterday.” (Mari)

“You know what... you’re absolutely right. In fact, let me go and I’ll make sure to find the true perpetrator right now.” (Kyle)

“Who the hell are you going to find!? The true perpetrator’s right here! You’re lucky that Reina insisted it was an accident, otherwise, you wouldn’t have a job anymore!” (Mari)

“But it actually was an accident!” (Kyle)

Mari started lightly whacking me with her fists as she continued yelling at me and while it didn’t hurt me physically at all, it felt like I was being punished for a crime I didn’t commit. Aggrieved tears flowed out of my eyes as I popped my head up, and we sat there like that for a second as Mari bonked my head some more before a familiar grey-bearded figure rounded the corner into my line of sight.

“Quick, Professor Balrum, help me! The headmistress has gone crazy!” (Kyle)

I reached my arm out towards Professor Balrum to call for help as Mari continued her beatdown on me, and it looked like he was about to say something in my defense when Mari turned to sharply glare at him before calling out in a frighteningly cold voice.

“I suggest you keep walking, Professor Balrum.” (Mari)

Professor Balrum froze in his tracks for a moment and I saw my last hope die out as he softly cleared his throat before turning around and quickly strolling back the way he came while nervously muttering to himself.

“... I didn’t see anything...” (Balrum)

“Oliver, you damned traitor!” (Kyle)

My indignant voice echoed down the hallway before being drowned out again by Mari’s yelling and the sound of Professor Balrum’s hurried footsteps in the distance.

Another two minutes passed before Mari’s flurry of fists died down, and she sat on top of me hunched over in exhaustion. Her arms were now loosely dangling by her sides as she wheezed for air on top of me with a dazed look in her eyes.

“Why the hell is your head so hard!?” (Mari)

“... I’m sorry that I don’t have the ability to soften up my skull so you can violently beat it in, but if you’re not going to let me cut today, then at least let me start class…” (Kyle)

I peeked my head up again and rolled around onto my back before grabbing Mari and lifting her off of me. After getting up, I propped her over my shoulder like a bag of potatoes and began to walk back to the classroom as she began to flail her limbs at me again with a red face.

“Hey, let me go! I’m your boss! This is mutiny!” (Mari)

“Yeah, yeah.” (Kyle)

I made my way back to the classroom under the watchful eyes of five heads popping out the door as Mari hit the back of my head painlessly a few more times. Once I made it back inside the classroom, I put Mari down, threw my bag next to my desk, and took a seat in my chair before sighing.

“Alright, so why are you here?” (Kyle)

“Isn’t that obvious? I’m here to make sure I won’t have to attend Reina’s funeral next week! Since you obviously can’t be trusted with your students’ safety, I’m going to be supervising your class from now on.” (Mari)

Goddammit, I knew this was a blood curse! Why did I even ask? I can’t even slack off now that she’s around. I’ll actually have to teach them something.

“Don’t you have more important things to do than continue to torture me?” (Kyle)

“Nothing is more important to me than Reina’s safety. And besides, you would know best that there’s nothing important I have to do, seeing as you were the one who did most of it.” (Mari)

“Don’t remind me, damn it! I never want to see another empty form again!” (Kyle)

Tears started flowing out of my eyes again as I remembered that paperwork-filled hellhole. Mari seemed to take some delight in my agony though as she let out a dry chuckle before waving her hand at me while she walked back to Reina.

“Heh. Alright, you can start class now.” (Mari)

“... Ah, I see. So you just wanted to make me suffer a bit to fuel your sick schadenfreude before letting me go…” (Kyle)

I slammed my head onto the desk and kept it there for a few seconds before letting out a sigh as my muffled voice announced the start of class.

“Alright everyone, in lieu of yesterday’s... unfortunate accident, I’ve decided that it would be best to study something a little more simple today.” (Kyle)

I got up and rummaged through my bag with an exhausted look on my face before pulling out the first monster core I could find. It was a small water-element monster core and it shone with a deep blue gleam as I got up and turned around to pick up a piece of chalk with the other hand. The sound of chalk scratching against the blackboard echoed out as I quickly drew a simple alchemy circle on the board, this time double checking that it was drawn correctly. However, when I put the chalk down and held the small monster core up to the board, the sound of loud clattering and a faint gust of wind came from behind me. I turned around to see Halbert, Regnis, and Zane taking cover behind the desks on one side of the room as they anxiously peeked their heads over the top while on the other side of the room, Sophie and Reina were doing the same, except that in front of them there was a third-circle wind spell that Mari had cast. Three light green magic circles lined up in front of each other to form the spell, and they slowly rotated as a large wall made of wind was shielding the girls.

“All it does is make some mist... Look.” (Kyle)

I tapped the monster core to the alchemy circle on the board behind me and activated it with a helpless expression on my face as everyone braced themselves.

“【Mist Cloud】, single cast, activate.” (Kyle)

The circle faintly glowed with a deep blue light for a moment and everyone ducked behind the desks before a light cloud of mist started spraying out from the center of the alchemy circle. Complete silence filled the room as it poured out, and it wasn’t until the alchemy circle stopped glowing that Mari’s head peeked over the edge of the lecture hall desk, followed slowly by the rest of the class.

“Do you guys really think I’m that untrustworthy?...” (Kyle)

I sat back down at my desk with a defeated look on my face as Mari stood up from behind the desk and pointed to the large crack in the wall at the back of the room as the wind spell disappeared.

“Of course! Just look at what happened last time!” (Mari)

“I’m telling you, that was an accident!” (Kyle)

A sigh left my mouth as I opened up the window to clear out the mist before turning around to see everyone returning to their seats. When everyone was seated again, I put the monster core down and pointed to the alchemy circle on the board.

“Alright, so what can you guys tell me about this alchemy circle?” (Kyle)

I took another glance around the room as Sophie’s hand immediately shot up. She had an excited smile on her face and an obsessed glint in her eyes.

“Well, looking at the structure of this circle, it’s much less complicated than the one we studied yesterday and comparing its effects to the last one, it’s likely on the scale of a lower end first- circle water spell. The fact that it’s drawn in chalk and the size of the monster core used to power it means that the mana density of the circle should be very low, yet the circle still activated, so we can infer that the flow of the mana should be unhindered, which may be due to a multitude of reasons, for example-” (Sophie)

Wait! Sophie, please! Stop! I couldn’t even understand a quarter of your report yesterday, how am I supposed to answer any of this nonsense about mana flow!?

“Ahem. Thank you, Sophie. Your explanation was very, uh, detailed, and I believe that you have a lot of interesting points, but before you get into the specifics, maybe we should let someone else share their opinion.” (Kyle)

“Oh... ok.” (Sophie)

I had a nervous smile on my face as Sophie finally stopped spewing out a bunch of complicated terms like mana density with a slightly disappointed look on her face, and I felt a slight headache come on as I glanced around desperately for my new victim to push this onto. Mari stared back at me with an annoyed expression, while Reina broke eye contact with a slightly red face the moment I tried to establish it. When I looked over to the other side of the room, Zane was nonchalantly staring at the wall with a nervous smile on his face and Regnis was sitting there with his arms crossed and his eyes closed, so naturally, my attention fell to my last potential scapegoat, er, student.

Alright, sorry Halbert, but please do me a favor and take one for the team here. Just give me something, anything simple that I can work with! Even something really stupid like literally what it does is enough!

“Uh, how about you, Halbert?” (Kyle)

“E-Eh?” (Halbert)

I sent my mental pleas over to Halbert through my eyes while his original unfazed demeanor quickly transformed into another nervous smile.

“Uh… well, it makes mist… so that’s kind of cool… I guess.” (Halbert)

Perfect! Halbert, you’re a lifesaver!

I gave Halbert a small thumbs up with tears of joy in my eyes as I pointed to the alchemy circle again with gusto.

“Great point there, Halbert! As you all can see, this alchemy circle is probably around the lower tiers of first-circle magic like Sophie mentioned before, and its only function is creating a thin mist of water vapor, which, by the way, I can confirm is very cool. Now, are there any questions about this alchemy circle?” (Kyle)

The moment I finished speaking, Sophie’s hand shot up again and the scary, obsessed glint in her eyes returned in full force.

“Well, I distinctly remember that when we asked you about the specifics of how the alchemy circle yesterday functioned, you told us that ‘it just works,’ and if we drew it exactly like you did, it would always function perfectly. Could you please elaborate on why exactly it functions like this, Professor Kyle?” (Sophie)

“Wait, what kind of stupid answer is that!? It just works? Ky, what have you been teaching them!? Why the hell am I paying you if you’re not even going to do your job!?” (Mari)

Mari’s voice burst out as she stood up from her seat, slammed her hand on the desk, and pointed at me with the other hand while she had an angry look on her face. I stared back for a moment with a weary expression on my face before letting out a heavy sigh.

“Are you sure you even hired me as a professor at this point? If I didn’t remember coming in and asking for this position myself, I would’ve been 100% sure you hired me as an office assistant or a secretary!” (Kyle)

“Well, maybe I’ll promote you to my full-time secretary for real after this if you’re not going to teach them anything!” (Mari)

“No, wait! I’m sorry! Please, anything but that! I’ll teach them everything I know right now! Just get me as far away from that accursed office as possible!” (Kyle)

Mari sat back down with an annoyed pout as I fell to the floor while hyperventilating in fear of my possible promotion. After a moment, I calmed my breathing down and got back up before slumping over in my chair with a worn out expression.

“Honestly, the best possible explanation that I could give you is that it just works. Like I said yesterday, I don’t know any of the complicated stuff either, so all you guys need to know is what all the symbols do when you draw them together and you’ll be fine. Alchemy circles are composed of the base circle and the symbols on the inside of the circle are what dictate its properties. As you all saw yesterday, some magic circles still might kind of work if you go outside the circle, but they probably won’t function properly. A specific combination of these symbols will always yield the same result, and if even one of these symbols is changed or drawn incorrectly, the magic circle could have a completely different result or might not even work at all. So basically, if you draw it exactly like I did, it really will work perfectly. Well, no need to sweat the details for now. You guys can practice drawing this one, and we’ll discuss it later." (Kyle)

After finishing my little lecture, I melted into my chair and a few moments later, the class started trying to copy down the alchemy circle on the blackboard. I let out a sigh and drowned out all the background noise as I sat there taking a well-deserved break while thinking about what to do after the class finished copying the alchemy circle down. However, it wasn’t long before I heard Mari’s voice call out to me.

“I can’t believe your best explanation for your literal field of expertise is ‘It just works’... What did Balrum even see in you?” (Mari)

I opened my eyes and sat up straight to see Mari standing in front of me while sighing with a disappointed expression on her face.

“Well, it’s too late to regret it now...  Anyway, since you’re not busy right now, go get me a cup of tea. I’m a little thirsty after all that yelling. Come on, you know what I like.” (Mari)

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Wait, I thought I wasn’t your personal assistant anymore! What happened to being a professor? Does that mean nothing to you anymore or do you just insist on tormenting me?” (Kyle)

“Eh. What can I say? It’s just so nice to have you around. Now go get me my tea before I start missing you enough to promote you.” (Mari)

“I swear, one day you’ll face retribution for your crimes, you abusive witch!” (Kyle)

I cried out in indignation, but despite my vow for vengeance, Mari just gave me a smug smile and shrugged nonchalantly as I got up with tears in my eyes and left the room to make her a cup of tea.

***

A while later, I entered the classroom again holding a cup of freshly made chamomile tea with two teaspoons of sugar and saw Mari relaxing in my chair. We locked eyes and I walked over and handed her the cup of tea with an aggrieved look on my face. A moment passed as she took a sip of the tea with a smile before letting out a satisfied breath.

“Ahh, perfectly brewed as always. Good job, Ky.” (Mari)

After taking another sip, she picked up the cup of tea and returned to her seat next to Reina. I took my chair back and sat down with an exhausted sigh, but it wasn’t long before Halbert called out to me.

“Professor Kyle, we’re all done copying down the alchemy circle. What should we do now?” (Halbert)

“Eh? Uh… I guess we can move onto some variations or something then.” (Kyle)

I opened up my bag and lightly rummaged through it again before pulling out two more water-element monster cores. After a moment, I stood up and grabbed the chalk again before erasing a few parts of the alchemy circle on the board and adding a couple of new symbols.

“Alright, well, if you change the circle like this, it should shoot out a stream of water instead of creating a mist. Something like this would probably be around a mid-tier single-circle water spell.【Aqua Stream】, single cast, activate.” (Kyle)

I held up one of the monster cores and held it against the magic circle as a deep blue glow appeared once again. A small stream of water gushed out of the center of the alchemy circle, forming a small puddle on the floor, and I turned back at the class to see everyone looking over curiously. Luckily, it seemed like the new alchemy circle managed to distract them for now. I took a seat at my desk again when something surprising happened, Regnis raised his hand.

“Professor Kyle, could we move on to a more powerful alchemy circle? It doesn’t need to be as strong as the one you drew yesterday, but I don’t think this or the previous circle would actually help much in a fight, so something a little more practical would be nice.” (Regnis)

“Even if these circles seem weak, you shouldn’t underestimate them. Even for something as basic as spraying out a stream of water, there can be a variety of uses in actual combat. Alright, does anyone else have any questions before we move on?” (Kyle)

Regnis lowered his hand with a slightly disappointed face as he reluctantly accepted my explanation. It seemed like no one else had anything to say too, so I was about to move on when I heard Mari call out to me.

“Oi, what kind of professor just glosses a student’s question like that? You can’t just tell him that ‘it just works’ again. If you’re going to claim that it’s practical in combat, then at least give him an example!” (Mari)

“Fine.” (Kyle)

Mari’s voice grated on my nerves a bit as I begrudgingly rummaged through my bag again and pulled out a pen while a petty revenge plot quickly formed in my head. I quickly drew the circle for【Mist Cloud】on one monster core and the circle for【Aqua Stream】on the other before putting the pen down with an irritated smile on my face.

“Regnis, while these alchemy circles definitely aren’t strong enough for a direct attack on the enemy, they can still be used to create diversions or interfere with the enemy’s senses in a fight. For example, with【Aqua Stream】, you could blind your enemy for a moment like this.【Aqua Stream】, single cast, activate.” (Kyle)

I held the alchemy stone with【Aqua Stream】drawn on it towards Mari, and another deep blue glow appeared as a stream of water shot out from the stone and drenched her face like I shot her with a squirt gun. Mari froze in place and water dripped down her face into her cup of tea while the room was completely silent except for me laughing hysterically at her. It was barely a second later that Mari put her cup of tea down, stood up with a furious smile on her face, and stared at me with a frightening glint in her eyes as Reina fumbled around next to her trying to hold her back.

“Alright, so do you have any last words, Ky?” (Mari)

“If it means anything to you, I’m sorry.” (Kyle)

My laughter began to die down as I let out one last chuckle before activating the other alchemy stone in my hands.

“And now,【Mist Cloud】can be used to create a diversion to escape.【Mist Cloud】, full power cast, activate.” (Kyle)

I dropped the other alchemy stone in my hand on the ground and an explosion of thick, foggy mist billowed out from the stone like a smoke bomb as I immediately dashed forward and kicked open the door before running back and hiding under my desk.

Haha! My plan is perfect. Mari can’t sense my mana to find me because I’m a manaless, so she’ll obviously think I ran out into the hallway once she sees the open door. She’ll probably be out of the room for a while looking for me, hopefully for the rest of the day, and I’ll deal with the fallout later on after she’s calmed down. Anyway, she was the one who wanted an example, so all I did was give her one.

I cackled evilly in my mind as a strong gale blew the mist out of the room. Footsteps sounded out behind me and I held my breath as the wind got slowly stronger before everything suddenly stopped. A moment passed before I saw Mari’s head pop over the edge to the desk with an even scarier expression as the smug smile on my face immediately froze up while cold sweat started to run down my back.

“... Like I said before, any last words, Ky?” (Mari)

“H-How did you find me!? Didn’t you see the open door!?” (Kyle)

“Do you honestly think I’d be dumb enough to fall for that? Who do you think the Grand Mage of Wind is? Even if I can’t see you, the air currents will tell me exactly where you went... So, I guess you don’t have any last words, huh?” (Mari)

“W-Wait! Mari, i-it was just a little prank. All I wanted to do was show my student an example like you said before. L-Look, I’m really sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Whatever it takes, just say the word and I’ll be on it. Want some paperwork done? No problem. Want a massage? No problem. I’ll even carry you home and cook you dinner if you want me to! I know you have a big heart, so come on, won’t you forgive a small-time jokester like me?” (Kyle)

I winked at Mari and did a cutesy knock on my head while I did my best to stop my nervous smile from trembling as even more cold sweat ran down my face, but unfortunately, it looked like all I did was make Mari even angrier.

“You know, you’re pretty brave to try and make an example out of me, Ky. Maybe I’ll even mention it in your eulogy.” (Mari)

Think, Ky! think! H-How can I get out of this? Give up and turn myself in? No way, she’ll keelhaul me! Doesn’t seem like she’ll listen to reason either, so my best shot is probably escaping somehow and hiding until later. Wait, can I even hide anywhere, she’ll just read the air currents to know exactly where I went. Urgh, fine. I didn’t want to resort to this, but I guess I’ll have to just keep running until she tires out! I just need a second or two and I can jump out the window, she might be able to find me through the air currents inside where the air is stagnant, but I doubt she’ll be as accurate with the wind outside interfering. Anyway, she’s already pissed, so might as well keep going! This’ll be a battle of attrition!

“【Aqua Stream】, full power cast, activate!” (Kyle)

I held the remaining alchemy stone in my hand up towards Mari’s face again as it shimmered deep blue and another stream of water about twice as big as the last one blasted Mari in the face. I immediately rolled out from under the desk and kicked off the ground, shooting towards the window, and I was just one step away from lunging out of the room when I finally realized. I forgot to take something else into account when planning out my escape.

My foot hit the ground as I tried to stop myself in time, but alas, on the ground was the instrument of my downfall, a product of my own negligent actions. It was the puddle that formed after I activated the alchemy circle on the board.

So, this is how it ends, huh?

Unable to stop the massive amount of momentum from my initial burst forward, I slipped backward and landed on my back as the spray from the second blast on Mari rained down on me.

Welp, sorry Aria, looks like I’m done for. You’ll have to take care of yourself now, remember, get at least eight hours of sleep every day and eat your greens, it’s for your own good. It was nice knowing you all as well, kids. Maybe one of you will even show up to my funeral.

I laid there and stared at the ceiling with an accepting smile on my face as I prepared myself for my inevitable mauling. A moment later, I saw Mari loom over me menacingly while staring at me on the floor. Droplets of water slid off her wet hair onto my face as she crouched down and brought herself closer to me before I let out a sigh.

“Alright, Mari. Just make it quick.” (Kyle)

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Royal Academy, Room 207 (Zane POV)

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A soft wind blew in through the open window as I sat in my seat with a terrified smile and saw Ky face his certain doom. The headmistress grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room like she was pulling along a bag of garbage as Regnis was guiltily clearing his throat. On the other end of the room, Sophie was somehow completely unfazed by the unbelievable turn of events and she just walked up to the board to inspect the magic circle as Reina followed behind her in a panic. I turned my head back to Halbert and Regnis as I sat there at a loss.

“So, uh... what do we do now, guys?” (Zane)

“I don’t know. Regnis, do you have any ideas?” (Halbert)

“Well… I don’t think there is much we can do except wait… I guess I’ll go copy down that magic circle. Professor Kyle might never be seen again, but he was right, this alchemy circle be useful later.” (Regnis)

Regnis got up and walked over to Sophie as the two of them stared at the circle on the blackboard while Reina fell on her knees with a hopeless expression behind them. I turned back to Halbert and he gave me a puzzled shrug before pulling out his notebook and getting up to join everyone else.

Well... I’m sure Ky will be fine. After all, the headmistress wouldn’t actually kill him just for spraying her with water… right?

***

A few hours passed by as we all awkwardly waited, and everyone was now back in their seats chatting to pass the time after finishing their analysis of the alchemy circles. We heard a few muffled explosions from outside about an hour ago, but for the sake of my own mental health, I decided to blissfully ignore it.

It was just about to be lunchtime, and I was chatting with Halbert and Regnis when the sound of the classroom door opening caught my attention. I turned my head to see Ky shamble in with a worn out look on his face. There were several rips and tears, ranging from tiny to large enough to stick a hand through, in his now battered looking clothes and his hair was a disheveled mess, but somehow it seemed like he was barely wounded at all. Following behind him was the headmistress with a gleaming satisfied smile on her face as Ky lumbered his way back to his desk and collapsed into his chair.

“Alright, you know what? How about we have a break for lunch, then continue with class later.” (Kyle)

After a moment, Ky pulled his lunchbox out of his satchel, slowly got up, and walked over to us as the headmistress joined Reina and Sophie on the other side of the room.

A few minutes later, we were all having lunch together as he munched on a homemade sandwich while tears ran down his face. I unwrapped the sandwich that Halbert bought from the school cafeteria for me and took a bite out of it before my curiosity finally got the better of me.

“So... what was that explosion sound earlier?” (Zane)

“It was Mari using a fourth-circle wind spell on me! I swear she was actually trying to kill me this time!” (Kyle)

I was about halfway through a bite of my sandwich when I choked a little once I heard what happened.

“Wait, fourth-circle!? How are you still even alive!?” (Zane)

“Well, I ran for my life and managed to barely get behind a wall before the explosion of air from the spell blew me about a dozen feet into the air.” (Kyle)

I stared at Ky in astonishment as Halbert and Regnis gave him concerned looks before Halbert asked him if he was ok.

“A-Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital!?” (Halbert)

“Eh. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” (Kyle)

“You don’t look too fine to me… What do you think, Regnis?” (Halbert)

“Well... it doesn’t seem like he’s too injured. I’m just surprised you managed to get out of this whole thing without losing a limb.” (Regnis)

Ky swallowed another bite of his sandwich before letting out a dry, lifeless laugh.

“Actually, Mari tried beating me up at first, but it didn’t work too well and all she did was hurt her hands, so then she started using magic, and that was when I had to run. It was like running through a battlefield, everywhere I went there was a razor-sharp blade of wind or a small tornado flying straight at me, but luckily, I managed to keep dodging everything. Eventually she got irritated though and just decided to blast the entire area with a big fourth-circle wind spell. Well, it worked, and even though I managed to avoid direct impact, it still blew me up into the air where she caught me. After that, she beat me up again until she felt satisfied, this time with body strengthening magic.” (Kyle)

The three of us sat there flabbergasted as we heard about the hectic series of events Ky somehow made it through without sustaining a mortal wound. Halbert wolfed down his sandwich as quick as he could before turning and whispering to me.

“Hey, Zane, he looks fine on the outside, but I think the headmistress might’ve hit him in the head a few too many times or maybe even ruptured an internal organ. We should take him to a doctor right now just to be sure. Look, Regnis and I will try to keep him distracted, just lie about going to the bathroom or something and get the school nurse, quick.” (Halbert)

“Alright.” (Zane)

After we ended our little huddle, I was about to get up to ‘go to the bathroom’ while Halbert started to whisper to Regnis when Ky finished another bite of his sandwich and stopped me.

“It’s ok, I don’t have internal injuries or anything like that. No need to get the school nurse.” (Kyle)

“Eh? Wait, how did you know?” (Zane)

“Halbert’s whispering wasn’t exactly the most inconspicuous thing, you know. Anyway, like I said, I’m fine. Trust me, if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s how much of a beating I can take. The headmistress could probably whack me in the head a hundred times using body strengthening magic and I’d still be fine. In fact, I used to get hit in the head much harder on an almost daily basis by someone else.” (Kyle)

I turned to Halbert and Regnis with a concerned look on my face, and they looked back at me with similar expressions as the three of us mentally agreed on one thing.

Yep, it’s definitely too late. He already has severe brain damage.

“Uh, well, since you seem like you’re… mostly intact, I was actually wondering about something. Ky, what exactly is your relationship with the headmistress?” (Zane)

“Zane, our current relationship can be summed up as superior and subordinate, with me being the unfortunate subordinate. She’s just an abusive witch that holds my salary hostage to make me do as she says. When I got hired, she unofficially made me her personal secretary and pushed off all her paperwork onto me for a week while she slacked off. I didn’t even get paid for it!” (Kyle)

Tears gushed from Ky’s eyes as he finished the rest of his sandwich before taking a swig from his water bottle. And after a few more minutes of talking about random things, Ky started to clean up.

“Alright, looks like we’re all done eating. Let’s just get on with class.” (Kyle)

Ky let out a sigh and returned to his desk with a defeated look on his face as we all threw out our trash from lunch before the classroom quieted down so class could start again.

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Royal Academy, Headmistress’ Office (Mari POV)

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“Mari, wake up. It’s already sunset.” (Kyle)

I heard a familiar voice call out to me as some soft shaking slowly woke me up. When the shaking stopped, a light groan left my mouth before I stretched a bit as a small blanket slid off my back. After rubbing my eyes for a bit, I opened them to see a small pile of papers neatly stacked in front of me with Ky behind them in his torn up outfit.

“Look, I finished all the paperwork, and it’s getting late, so can I go home now.” (Kyle)

I let out a small yawn and slowly spun around in my chair. A deep breath entered my lungs as I gazed out the window at the beautiful purple sunset outside. After a moment, I finally realized that today was already the second day of the semester as I started to groggily recall what happened earlier.

After I beat up Ky, he finished the rest of class without any major incidents, but since I was still a little angry, I dragged him back to the office to be my assistant for the rest of the day. It was mostly because I didn’t want to do my paperwork, but I managed to pass it off as some extra punishment for him, and he was the one who offered to do my paperwork anyway, wasn’t he?

… Well, it looks like he was nice enough to put a blanket on me after I dozed off... but it’s still not enough to forgive him...

I spun around in my chair to face Ky again with a small mischievous smile as I thought about what else I could make him do.

“Hey, where do you live, Ky?” (Mari)

“Over that way. Why?” (Kyle)

Ky pointed out the window towards the direction of the middle district as he looked at me with a confused look on his face.

“What a coincidence, I also live in the same direction. You know what, my legs feel a little tired, so you can go home, but carry me home first, Ky. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you which way to go.” (Mari)

“... Haven’t you tortured me enough already?” (Kyle)

“Well, you were the one who said you would do anything I want to make it up to me, even carry me home and cook me dinner, weren’t you?” (Mari)

I got out of my chair with a giggle and opened my arms towards Ky as he let out a defeated sigh before walking over with tears in his eyes, turning around, and kneeling down to give me a piggyback ride. A faint warmth enveloped me when I got on his back, and I leaned my arms over his shoulders to hug his neck for support before unconsciously snuggling into a more comfortable position as I declared the start of my unusual journey back home today.

“Alright. Onward, Ky!” (Mari)

***

What the hell was I thinking!?

The warm evening sunset painted the surroundings a light lavender color as Ky steadily carried me down an almost empty road. The gentle ebb and flow of his footsteps made me shake up and down slightly on his back as I hugged his neck a little tighter and felt the familiar warmth from his back with a burning red face.

I must have still been half asleep or something when I decided that having Ky give me a piggyback ride home was anything near a good idea. When we started, I didn’t think about it much, but over the course of the last couple of minutes, I finally realized just exactly what I was doing. Here I was, alone with a young man on an empty road at sunset, having him carry me home on his back while I hugged him from behind.

… W-Well, I guess I never really saw Ky as a man after ordering him around like a lackey so much, but right now I think that I’m a little too aware of it! I mean, he might act stupid sometimes… most of the time, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a man, and… if I’m going to be completely honest… at least he’s capable when it counts and, when you think about it... he’s even p-pretty good looking...

I sat there on Ky’s back lost in deep thought for a moment when suddenly, Ky’s voice and an abrupt shake finally snapped me back to reality.

“... Mari... Mari... Hey, Mari, you there?... Mari!” (Kyle)

I let out a cute yelp from Ky’s sudden shout as I looked around and realized that we were in front of my house.

“Mari, you ok?” (Kyle)

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” (Mari)

I buried my head in his back and put some space in between our bodies as the raging blush on my face spread a little more from my embarrassing yelp. I was about to tell him to let me down when I noticed the rips in his clothes again. They ranged from tiny to ones big enough to fit my whole hand in, and I could even catch a few glimpses of his skin through the bigger ones.

“Well, we’re here.” (Kyle)

“Yeah... thanks, Ky.” (Mari)

I popped my head back up and looked over his shoulder to stare at the front of my house as my voice softened. I hugged his neck a little tighter as the blush reached the tips of my ears.

“... Hey, by the way… sorry about beating you up earlier. I think I overreacted to your prank a bit too much…  So, I’ll find some way to make it up to you later.” (Mari)

“Eh? It’s fine. At least you apologized. What’s done is done, and I’m already used to getting beaten up anyway, so it’s not much of a difference to me. If you really want to make it up to me, then…  just let me teach my class the way I want to.” (Kyle)

I slowly let go of Ky’s neck as he crouched to let me down in front of the gate to my house, and I stared at him for just a moment before looking away again.

“Alright, you’re home, so can I please go now? Or do you really want me to cook you dinner too?” (Kyle)

“You can go now, this is enough... Besides, who would want to eat your terrible cooking anyway?” (Mari)

I immediately twirled around to hide my blush from Ky, and a gentle evening breeze blew by as I ran over to my front door before fumbling for my keys and quickly opening it. I bolted inside and slammed the door shut behind me with my body before holding my hand to my chest to feel my quickening heartbeat. A moment passed by before I slid down the side of the door onto the ground while letting out a cute whimper.

“...a-augh…” (Mari)

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Solria, Middle District, Outside Mari’s House (Kyle POV)

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“You can go now, it’s enough... Besides who would want to eat your terrible cooking anyway?” (Mari)

Mari twirled around in front of her house and ran inside once I let her down, and I stood there with my blood boiling as every cell in my body screamed at me to go prove her comment about my cooking wrong, but despite the passionate urges from my chef’s soul, I restrained myself after thinking about the consequences for a bit.

Calm down, Ky, just calm down. You learned from your mistakes last time, didn’t you? You could go up to her door, knock on it, prove her wrong right now, and watch her grovel at your feet for a while, but if you do, you’ll definitely be stuck cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her too! Aria already eats enough as it is, you don’t need another mouth to feed!

I stared at Mari’s house for a moment before taking a deep breath and mechanically making my way back home for dinner as the faint breeze cleared out the humid summer air.