I splash ice-cold water on my face. It is refreshing. In the mirror, I can see that disgusting face. The face of the murderer. My face. 

I look at my hands, still cold from the water. The hands covered in the blood of innocent. I don't kill bad guys. At least, I try not to.

Today is my eighteenth birthday. Today is a very important day. For me. For my family. For my friends. Yes, very important. For them, it would be the last day on Earth. Why? Because I would kill them, obviously.

I touch the object in my jean pocket. My precious partner in crime. That little thing that gives me the power beyond human limits. The thing that will save them. 

Now it takes the form of a knife, but it can change shapes. It can be a knife, it can be a dagger, it can be a sword, it can be a spear. Any cold weapon, just name it. 

This thing has a name, Goddess said. Epsilon the Soulbringer. I think names are important. Epsilon isn't just a tool for me. It is my companion. The one who shares my sins. 

It wouldn't be my first murder. Far from it. The exact number of my victims is 1100. And after today, it would be 1111. Interesting coincidence. 

I think we humans are unfair creatures. After my first hundred murders, I no longer got anxious before or sick after killing people. But now, when my would-be victims are those I love and cherish, my hands shake, my mind sluggish, my heart pounds way too fast. I'm sure that after I'm done, I would feel even worse. Much worse. It is unfair to all of my previous victims. The ones I killed without batting an eye. 

Today is a perfect day to send my family and friends to safety, though relative. Killing a thousand people couldn't go unnoticed, of course not. I can't stay in this city for much longer. Cops are already at my tail. It as well could be my last chance to bring everyone I cherish (except for one certain person) to the other side. 

Yeah, you should do it, Jacob. It is now or never. You can't hesitate. You can't forget everything you already did. You can't stop, only move forward. 

I invited everyone who is closely related to me. No one is missing. Today, we will celebrate my birthday at this lonely house far from the city, owned by my grandparents. 

Every last of them is here today: mom, dad, grandma, grandad, uncle, aunt, three cousins, two childhood friends. I never was so glad to have so few friends. It would be problematic to get even more people here all at once. 

I enter the hall. Everyone is already waiting for me. They are such genuine and nice people. I love each of them dearly. This is why they should die by my hand before the world meets its end. 

"Happy Birthday!"

Let the bloodbath begin. 

***

I always considered myself to be a good person. And maybe, even now, I am. Deep below the lake of blood, there is a good person in me, certainly.

I could mix some powerful drugs in the drinks and then kill them while they are unconscious, painlessly. They wouldn't probably even know why the hell they woke up in a new world.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

But no. It can't be done. First of all, I don't know if such a thing would affect transmigration. But there is a more important reason.

I want them to see me killing them. I want them to know. I want them to fear me, to hate me. I don't want them to be grateful for what I did. I don't want them to treat me as some kind of noble hero. I'm not. 

If I really killed them while they know nothing, maybe part of me would believe that it is alright. That I did nothing wrong. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so disgusted with myself, so guilty. And it would be the problem. Because this guilt is exactly the thing that helps me to stay sane. To stay human. To stay me. 

Killing my family and feel nothing but pride - this would be madness. This would be inhuman. This would be insane. 

Ah, how easy it would be if I just thought that I'm a madman. That the future she showed me is a lie. That the Goddess is just a product of my imagination and lost mind. 

I strengthen the grip on my partner. My weapon, Epsilon, is the proof that I'm not mad. Or else, how can I cut the still with easy? How can I move faster than the human eye can perceive? How can bullets be useless against me? 

The Goddess - Gaea, she is another proof. She is too beautiful, too divine, too perfect to be a fabrication of the crazed mind. It would be a blasphemy even to consider that I created her. She is the ideal existence beyond my comprehension. Until I met her, I would never imagine that someone could be so elegant, so noble, so flawless. 

The disgusting smell of fresh blood returned me to reality before my eyes. How long was it since the last time I felt revulsion to this smell? It couldn't be so long as I started my mission just two months ago, but it feels like an eternity passed since then. 

The hall is filled with blood. My clothes are soaked by it. My eyes are wet from the tears that don't stop to flow even now. My hands are wet from the blood that doesn't belong to me.

How much easier would it be if the corpses and blood just disappeared after the souls were sent to the other side?

The worst thing - to send someone properly, just killing them is not enough. Each person has a different soul, so they should be killed in a different way as well. 

My reliable father, his heart is pierced. My gentle mother, her body is headless, and her head is on the birthday cake. My grandparents are luckier as most elderly people are - the small scratches on their hands were enough. My uncle and aunt tried to escape, but I already shut all the doors properly, so it was useless. Their spines are shattered, and necks are pierced from behind. 

Young people are the most troublesome ones. The connection between their souls and their bodies is too strong. So you need to make it weaker...

My three cute cousins - all younger than me. Elise and Alice- fourteen years old tweens, they are such tricksters. Joshua - ten years old boy, he is so shy. I feel sorry for them, I really do. But it couldn't be helped. I can't send them without amputating at least one of the limbs. I know it from Elipson - it makes me feel how to kill so that souls were saved. 

Alex and Britney. I know them since kindergarten. Together, we were inseparable. I helped them to start dating as well. They were such a beautiful couple. They were such loyal friends. I always knew that I could rely on them, can trust them with anything. Anything, but not that. I can imagine how angry they would be with me to keep my secret identity from them. Couldn't be helped. 

Alex is such a cool guy. He is the only one here who truly tried to fight back. This courage, this determination! I would miss him. I hope he wouldn't beat me too much when we meet again. Then, I will apologize for slicing his body into two parts. Though he probably would be more concerned with Britney's sorry state, I would hate it as well if someone made my girlfriend legless. 

I hold my partner tightly in my hand. Epsilon doesn't have even a speck of blood on it. It never does. I look at the hell around me another time. It was you, I tell myself. It was you who did it, Jacob Black. I remind myself again, I should never forget my sins.

"Sorry, everyone. Please hate me as much as you want. It is for your own good."

If it is to save them, then becoming a monster is nothing. I would do even worse things for those I love. Well, now, there is only one person left, and she would be really troublesome. Just to meet her, I would need to work hard. I would need to kill a lot and survive long enough. Get ready, Gaea. I will force you to take responsibility for making me fall for you. I wouldn't allow you to be gone together with this planet. I will take you with me. To the new world.