I do not own James bond. Not sure If I have to put this here for that joke or not but just to be safe… :P
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“Lick it Roll it Twist it Smoke it” As I rolled my weed down into a joint I hummed a small song to pass the time along. I twisted the edges of the joint then examined my work.
“Perfect!” I shouted. I brought the joint up to my mouth and lit it, smiling as the green substance burned causing smoke to fill my lungs.
“Aaah weed. What a great way to relieve stress. And an even better way to fall asleep!!” I brought the joint up to my mouth and inhaled again. The smoke tasted like a mix of Vortex and Apollo 18, though I couldn’t be sure. Who knows?
*Bang*Bang*Bang*Bang*Crack!* Multiple loud noises where suddenly heard from downstairs, sending me on edge.
“What the fuck? Bojo follow” I grabbed my knife from my dresser and headed downstairs, Bojo hot on my heels. I peered around the corner, not sure what to expect. Although I wasn’t too skilled with a knife I often practiced throwing it at a dead tree outside my house so I was sure of my aim. Though if I had the guts to kill someone I don’t know.
“HELLO? IS ANYONE HOME” I heard a voice, male, shout from downstairs. I hesitated about answering. I wasn’t sure how hostile or friendly this guy was.
“Bojo, Incapacitate.” This was a code word for Bojo the jump on the intruder's chest and pin him to the ground. It took me over four months to tell Bojo to just jump on them and not attack them. Bad training accidents. With practiced perfectionism Bojo crept down the stairs sticking low to the steps. His ears slightly raised when he saw the man. With blinding speed he zoomed from the steps. I lowered myself down and got my arm ready. If the intruder had a gun I would rather him shoot me than Bojo, but I was confident I could knock it out of his hands before that happened.
“Aaah!” I heard a loud scream then a loud thump as a body slammed to the floor. I ran down the last of the steps and took aim after seeing Bojo atop a male body.
“Daddy!!!”
Daddy? What the hell!? By the front door I saw a little girl looking to be no more than seven years old standing there with a pistol in her hand. She had long dirty blonde hair and amazing sea blue eyes. She raised it up and aimed at Bojo but before she could fire I threw my knife at the gun knocking it out of her hands. I rushed towards the child and upon reaching the outside what I saw shocked me. People were murdering each other in the middle of the streets biting and tearing body parts off. A group of three or four men were eating a woman in the middle of the streets. Suddenly a car swerved out from my neighbors driveway and smashed into the men sending them flying. To my horror the men stood back up, broken bones and bent legs hardly stopping them as they limped forward.
“Let go of my daddy!!” I nearly screamed out loud as a hard fist punched straight into my balls, making me gasp. On reflex I nearly punched the little brat but just barely managed to stop myself from doing so. With a grunt I grabbed the pistol and yanked the girl into my house. I slammed the door shut, noting the broken window above the door. I turned the lock on the door then shut the curtains while my mind working overtime as it tried to figure out what was going on.
“Get your dog off my daddy!” The girl went for another punch but I grabbed her arm and threw her onto my couch.
“What is happening out there? Bojo, come.” I decided to let the man off for the moment. But if he tried anything…
“Please take care of my daughter!! I’m bit and I can’t--GAAAh!!” The man screamed and grabbed his arm in pain, puking blood out of his mouth as he did so.
“DADDY!” The little girl screamed.
“What the fuck? Is he sick” I was really tempted to push the trigger but a loud thump at my door shook me out it. We all froze as the thumping continued. It wasn’t like a I’m-breaking-into-your -house- thump it was more like an oops-there-is-a-door-here- thump. I went to go open the door but the man screamed
“NO!” I froze a few centimeters from the door.
“Are you fucking crazy? Those things will kill us!!” He screamed, panic on his face.
“Those things?”
“Are you stupid? Those… those fucking infected cannibals!! Have you not seen the news in the last 12 hours?!”
“I don’t have a Television, and I’ve been sleeping for the last 14 hours.” I replied. This incident has become big enough that it’s on the news?
*Blurgh!!*Bleh!* More blood splurted out of the man's mouth. His skin was starting to become extremely pale, so pale in fact that his veins could easily be seen through his skin.
“Are… are you alright?” I asked, slightly scared. What was happening with this man?
“Not...not enough time. I will die soon. Once you get bitten or scatched by those things you are as good as dead. Please, as a single father and a father who loves his daughter more than life itself, protect her! Please, protect her!” He smashed his forehead to the ground and cried out, tears flowing from his eyes. Shit…
“No daddy! I don’t want to go with this man!! He’s creepy!!” That was a blow to my confidence. Although, her words did ring true. What kind of father gives his kid away to a random stranger?
“DON’T BE SELFISH. This man allowed us into his house despite the situation outside. Anyone else would have left us for dead. B--”
This time, a massive fountain of blood sprayed from his mouth. The little girl and I watched in horror as her father dropped to the ground dead.
“DAAAAAAAAD!!!” She screamed an ear piercing scream and ran towards her father, tears flowing freely.
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“No no no no no no no no no no no no no no….” She cried, hugging her dad’s back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bojo go into an attack stance, a look I had never seen before in his eyes.
‘Is.. is that fear?’ I thought. Never before had I seen Bojo scared.
“Dad! You're alive!” I whipped my head back around upon hearing the impossible. He was alive? Impossible! He puked out way too much blood. The father’s fingers were twitching uncontrollably and in a comical fashion. Suddenly, without moving his legs his whole body bent backwards while he was on the ground.
*Woof!* Without even waiting for my command Bojo crushed the neck of the girl’s father, destroying it completely.
“DADDDYY!! NOOOOOO!” Once again the child let out an ear piercing scream, causing even Bojo to lower his ears to his head. A twitch of movement alerted me back to Bojo. Impossibly, the father was still alive. He rose from the ground with Bojo still attached to his neck. His eyes were completely white, with blood pouring out in a small but steady stream from his mouth.
“Uhrrrr” He groaned.
“Are… are you alright dude?” In response the man suddenly lunged at his daughter, his teeth open wide.
“KYAAAH!” She jumped sideways, instinctively preserving her life. Her father smashed straight into my wall, sending his head through it. Bojo had dropped to the ground in the middle of the lunge so fortunately he wasn’t in the wall.
*Smash* A large piece of wood flew straight past my head, nearly decapitating me. I turned around to see a large group of men with pure white eyes standing at my door. Each one of them had amassed an amazing amount of fatal injuries, leaving me pondering as to how they were still alive.
How was the girls father alive?
I didn’t have long to think as they began to jog towards me awkwardly. Without thinking I picked up the girl and told Bojo to “Follow”.
“What the fuck am I doing!!? Run run run!!” I yanked open the backdoor to my house, once again greeted with a scene from hell.
“Where do I go now??”All around me people were struggling in their own fights. A woman was trying to stop a man from eating her child, while another man was trying to eat her. A man was being cornered by four other men, his only weapon the knife in his hand. While I desperately wanted to go help these people, my primary concern was mine and Bojo’s life. I glanced down at the little girl who I had unceremoniously yanked out of my house. She wasn’t crying anymore, just had a dull look on her face.
“Thats not good…” I muttered. Suddenly a thought struck me.
“My neighbors! They have a Prxma!!” I nearly jumped for Joy when I thought of this. My neighbors were high level drug dealers, even going so far as to sell their marijuana to dispensaries. Of course, they don’t only sell marijuana but that's not important. What is important is that they have the middle grade sports car Prxma edition!!
“Good thing I made a spare copy of the key without their permission… only problem is, the key is in my room…” I could easily get into my room from the ground, but the only problem is is the little girl. I set her on the ground then looked her straight in her eyes.
“Do you want to live?”
“D...daddys dead!” Tears began to well up in her little eyes, breaking my fragile heart but I remained steadfast.
“Yes. Your dad is dead. But do you know what his dying wish was?” After a moment she shook her head but her eyes held a glint of curiosity in them.
“He wanted you to live! He wanted you to survive onto the next day and the next and see the light of the sun until you grow old and die!” I shook her arms for emphasis and tried to over-exaggerate how important it was. Truthfully I just wanted to get into my room before those creatures come back out but I doubt that it would help my case here. Apparently she bought my words and she soon began to cry with a smile on her face.
“Hic*..ugh...okay! I wanna live! I wanna live!!” She shouted with snot running into her mouth.
“Good! Grab onto my back. Bojo, hide!” Understanding my command Bojo bolted away away, going to find a hiding spot.
After the little girl was secure upon my back I set a few boxes upon each other then leapt up to my window, barely managing to grab the bottom of it. I hauled myself up it, careful not to drop the girl on my way up.
After entering my bedroom I set the little girl down and yanked my closet open. After digging through it I finally found a large sports bag I had when I played baseball a couple years ago. I quickly grabbed as many pairs of clothes as I could and shoved them inside, not caring how uncouth it looked. I grabbed all my bowls and put them in a side pocket of the bag, placing two ounces of marijuana on the other side.
What can I say? Pothead for life.
I placed all my “Munchies” food and drank inside the bag as well, making sure they were securely stowed away before placing my hats and everything else I would need inside. I had the pistol tucked in the front of my jeans and decided I should leave it there for safekeeping.
“Girl. What is your name?” I asked suddenly. In my haste I realized I never had bothered to ask.
“C-Campbell.Lexie Campbell” She stuttered.
“Really? I’m bond. James Bond.” I waited for her to laugh or smile, but she just stared at me.
“*Sigh* Nevermind. I’m God Yara.” I told her. This time her eyebrows raised slightly but she said nothing but did nod.
“Lets go!”