Immediately after the raccoon leaves is study the mysterious rock. NOT. Who the FUCK cares whether or not the ROCK a raccoon gave to me is worth anything right now. The first thing I did was take the meat covered pizza out. I’m hungry. So I’m going to eat.

When eating something that you are not used to. The first thing you need to do is smell the thing you are eating, and so I did.

What I smelled surprised me. It was nothing like I had ever smelled before. Even nobles within the cloud district would be brimming with envy. Willing to pay anything for even a whiff. It was at least 100 times better than anything I had ever smelled, and I had partied with even people from the inner circle of the cloud district. If anyone had food that smelled like this, they would either be raided or blackmailed into giving it away. Even the rulers of the cloud district would not be spared. Luckily, I made it out in the radioactive forest where there is no one around. Well, besides that raccoon and the party who have already eaten.

Though I am starving, and drooling all over the place I need to savor this. I can wait until the smell dies down.

After I start to get used to the smell I decide to eat.

The first thing I do is take off one of the circular pieces of meat and bring it to my tongue. It's spicy. Causing me to get goosebumps and sending chills down my spine. It’s a little tough, and chewy. Distracting me. Taking my thoughts away from the wild spiciness.

I can't wait anymore. I take a bite. This time without the circular meat.

The first thing I notice is the juice. It bursts throughout my mouth, giving off a bittersweet taste. Bringing back all the emotions I have felt throughout my life. The liquid feeling smooth and hot to the touch, warming my soul.

Then, unable to help myself. I search around my mouth for any lingering flavor and feel an elasticity. This substance gives off another burst of flavor, different from before. It's slightly tangy and sticks to the tongue, removing all of the bitterness from earlier.

Then I begin to chew, and I feel a crunch. The crunchiness of the bread seems to bring all of the textures together but it adds a subtle taste as well. Though not prominent, it gives off a blandness. The blandness mixes everything together, but also diminishes the explosiveness of the other flavors.

It’s amazing, but I’m not done yet. I haven’t eaten the meat alongside everything else yet.

After taking another bite. This time with the meat, I feel all the flavors that I did before, but the texture is godly. Though I want to savor it, it is impossible to do. I eat as much as I can of it and when I’m done, less than a minute has passed. I’m full and half the pizza is still there.

I guess I can save it for later. Hopefully it still tastes good when it gets cold.

After another hour of night watch I decide to wake up the mysterious figure. They got me into a bad mood, and now they could be on night watch. Either alone or with someone else I don’t care. As long as they learn their lesson…

The third day after leaving the cloud district was boring. Though it had been fun travelling along with the newbies, that fun had died down. Now that I had learned about all the interesting parts it seemed they would show. Even discovering the stupidity of the masked figure and beautiful hunter I had seen enough.

Does this sound impatient of a 2 millennium old guy who even learned to bend the sound of his own voice. Probably. But now that I had learned about the two people’s stupidity, I was pissed. If I learned that anyone else in this group was stupid, I’d probably kill them.

Then, I remembered the mysterious stone. Though we were now 2 days into enemy territory the land we had entered was wide, and we were on a secret path created by the cloud district. If we were found here, then I guess we are screwed. The secret path was built for secrecy, not mobility.

The decayed forest would give better chance for escape. If we left this path to go in there, who knows what mutated beast would come after us. All who entered disappeared, never to be seen again.

Anyways, back to the stone. I don’t know why I got sidetracked, but I won’t be anymore. It’s time for me to find out what this sucker is. I hope it’s not a fossilized poop or something. You never know what a raccoon might be storing in its’ garbage can.

The first thing I do to discover its secrets is feel it. It’s solid, smooth, and feels warm. There is something sticky on it as well.

Wait, I can’t remove my hand.

Freaking out. I pull my hand out of my pocket, along with the mysterious stone. I look at the place where my fingers are stuck. And there I find something mysteriously white. Strange, I thought. I didn’t see any white stuff on this ball before.

Then, in order to figure out what the white stuff was, I licked it.

What did I do?

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I just SAID what I did.

I LICKED IT.

As I licked it, I realized it was the milk substance that I had used to make the pizza.

When did this get on the stone.

Then, forcing my hand off of the mysterious stone, I felt around inside my pocket for more of the white ingredient. As I felt around, my hand got stuck, and pulling my hand out of my pocket I figured out where the white ingredient came from. I guess I had a milk pouch inside my knapsack. When I was cooking, I mistakenly put it inside my pocket. This let the milk harden inside it, making the mysterious white stuff.

Finally, I know where the stuff on top of the ‘pizza’ came from. Now, I just need to find out how I made that sauce. Then when I go back to the Cloud District I can become a chef. If I become a chef, there is danger of being attacked by would be business rivals. However, I would easily gain reputation, and become rich if I cooked. This would bring protection as well because if I don’t share the recipe, the supporters of pizza will protect it. There is no reason to stay a mercenary when I have the recipe to a dish no others can make.

While I was thinking about how I would become a chef, a few hours passed by. Then, the swordsman who seemed to be content the last few days swinging their sword stopped. They came over to me and asked what the thing in my hand was.

I forgot about this.

In reply, I said, “It’s a rock I found that seemed interesting, so I picked it up.”

“What is so interesting about it?” the shield bearer replied.

“It’s got a question mark on it. Though I have seen rocks that look like letters and numbers, there has never been one as perfect as this.”

“Then why are you holding it in a fist, instead of looking at it?” the swordsman asked.

Why the FUCK is this happening? The first two people I talk to are idiots, and now these people are ganging up on me. Asking about my stuff. Do they want me to kill them?

“Yo, mind your own business. If you ask anymore questions I’ll rip your heads off.

“Hai sir” the swordsman and shield bearer replied.

“Good, anyone else want to ask any questions?”

Scanning around to see everyone I notice everyone shaking their heads. Though I don’t check to see if my friend is shaking their head. I don’t care. He knows enough not to ask ‘private’ questions.

Though I am super pissed off, the swordsman did remind me about the stone. I guess there is always a silver lining to every grey cloud, or whatever that saying was.

Now that I have touched all over the spherical part, it’s time to touch the question mark.

As I touched the question mark I heard a click. At first I thought it was a mechanism that would do something, but after putting more pressure on it. Nothing happened. Until I took my fingers off it and the question mark fell out of the stone.

After picking the question mark back up I began to delicately put pressure on it. I did my best to make sure it did not break while I examined it. It was rough, unlike the rest of the stone. Then I cut myself. Making sure not to scream and bother the group, who were already annoying without me doing anything I looked at the place the question mark had cut me. There was a little blood, but it didn’t look too bad.

I guess besides the rough parts, there were also some sharp parts of the question mark as well.

Though I was seething, I tried to cheer myself up.

Wow, that surprised me. I guess I’m glad that nothing came out and attacked at least.

Completely failing.

There was nothing good about being cut by a rock. Especially one I thought might be worth something. Everytime it did something wrong. I don’t care whether or not I was the one that brought out the effect. I just want to throw it on the ground and leave it.

After calming down, I gave up on trying to study it through touch.

Though I gave up on touching the stone, and searching for secrets that may only be activated through touch. I wasn’t worried about that, I could do it later. However, I was reluctant to leave the hole created by the question mark behind. I had wanted to stick my fingers inside it, wondering if the question mark was supposed to fall off but decided against it. I didn’t want to get cut again.

Now that I was no longer feeling up the stone I had to use something else to study it. Picking up some (color of uranium, and coal mixed) pebbles on the ground, I used the blood stuck on my hands to make a sort of glove. Though it burned, there was not much pain, and this would protect me from any surprisingly sharp edges.

Now that I was done observing the stone in the easiest way possible, there was no other easy ways. I didn’t have superhuman hearing, though I wouldn’t say my hearing is bad. It was just not enough. I couldn’t taste the thing anymore without risk of cutting my tongue so that was out. Oh, I guess I could observe the thing through smell, but I dropped some cheese on it. There is a high chance that all I’ll smell is that. So, The only way to observe something without touching, hearing, smelling, or tasting it was… Drum Roll Please...

Nothing. There was no way to observe this stupid rock with a question mark besides using those four senses.

I mean, I could look at the rock but I already know what it looks like. Its a (hoophy’s core) with a question mark on it. There was a little white cheese on it as well. It’s not like I could find anything else right now.

Or could I? There was now a hole in the stone, that may hold some secrets. If I look inside it I may be able to find the secrets the rock holds.

Ok, let's do it. I thought. Trying to hype myself up in case there was a creature or mechanism that would jump out on me.

Carefully looking inside I saw...

Nothing.

Well, that was anticlimactic. Guess I'm done.

Just kidding. I haven't let my eyes adjust yet. Of course I saw nothing. If I had actually…

Wait, what's that? I think I saw something moving. Oh. And there's an inscription.

Let's see what it says.

Oh yes, the spider. Even the smallest bite from the araknis deficus will cause instant paralysis Watch out for it.

Naniii? What's that mean? I haven't heard of the arachnis death…

"Ahhh!!! Get it off."

I said, as I had something hit my eye.

Feeling numbness creep into my body, I thought about how the mystery rock the raccoon had given me was a trap. If I had given him more pizza maybe he would have given me information on this rock. Or maybe he really didn’t know. All I knew was that if I saw it again I would torture it to death. And if there was such a thing as an afterlife, I would never be at peace until it ate 10000 needles.

Why 10000 needles you ask. Well, I was reading a picture book and saw that eating 10000 needles was what you had to go through if you broke a promise then you would be forgiven. And I like those types of picture books, so if the raccoon did what was stated in those picture books. I guess I would need to forgive him, no matter what he did.

As I layed there with the group just looking at me I saw them getting things to prank me with. The swordsman took stones and stuffed them in my mouth. Unable to feel anything nor move. I could not do anything about it though. Hopefully, I would not choke on them and die.

The shield carrier started digging a hole, and when he was done. They took my stone, and placed me inside the ground. Well, the swordsman, shield carrier, and dagger thrower. Everyone else actually set up camp, and did things so that they could relax.

After what felt like forever, I could finally move again. I was inside a hole covered in dirt. Stuffed with rocks, and annoyed. At least they left me an airhole, so I could survive. Then once I got out I would make them pay. Though I was not pranked by my ‘best friend’, the mysterious, or the seductive bowman. They hadn’t stopped the pranksters. Though this made them bystanders, and technically innocent. To me, they were just as bad.

Though I want to get out of here. It’s not entirely uncomfortable. It’s cool, and at the same time my body heat is keeping me warm. The only problem is the stones in my mouth. Luckily, they placed me in the ground face down so I could spit it out.

After having a hard time spitting out the stones I thought about how I would get revenge. Though I could just kill them, that wouldn’t be any fun. I needed to do something that was not only fun for me, but also horrible for the people that pranked me...