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Chapter 2: Shits Changing
My mouth is completely dry and I have a pounding headache. I’m getting too hot from the sunlight from the window baking my dehydrated body so early in the morning.
I finally can't resist the heat anymore and crack my eyes open. The sun is barely coming through my window so it must be early. I check my phone and it's 10:00 am. Well damn we had a hell of a night. I slowly get up and walk to my bathroom and see little bits of puke on my toilets rim. Ewww!! I mentally yell. I don't think that was me but I'm gonna pretend it was Tye either way so I don't have to clean it, I think to myself evilly.
Most things don't make me nauseous but there is something about regurgitated food that just gets to me. I think it has to do with the chunks and the smell. Especially if it's on my porcelain throne.
I front a devilish grin. Looks like someone couldn't handle their booze I exclaim while pissing for at least 90 seconds straight. Ahhhh, I moan pleasurably. I really needed that. I walk over to my kitchen and grab two bottles of Hydrate & Refuel and see Tye slumped over on the couch with his legs sticking over the edge and a big ol puddle of drool coming down his face. Damn, he can barely fit on this motherfucker. I must look weird as hell too on this thing.
I start to record on my phone and stealthily approach him then yell “WAKE THE FUCK UP LOSER!!”
Tye’s eyes jump open and he looks aghast then scared as can be for a few seconds until he realizes it is me yelling at him. Good morning sunshine! I say in the most feminine voice as I can manage. "Would you like something to drink, your pillows fluffed, anything at all?"
"I want you to hand me that drink and shut up! Ugh, I didn't drink anywhere near enough water yesterday before all that drinking and my head is pounding." He proceeds to chug the whole liter and stare at the now empty bottle of whiskey and sticky table.
"I may have overdone it just a little bit Tye, just a smidget" he says while holding his pointer finger and thumb close to his face and barely apart. I push his feet to the side and sit next to him so I can gulp down the rest of my drink too.
"I agree man", I was smart enough to drink water all day since I knew I was going to the gym so unlike your dumbass I don't feel too bad after having something to re-hydrate.
We bring the MMORPG we played last night back up on our computers and were shocked to find out that we were somehow able to reach level 29 for him and 25 for me in our whiskey induced blackout gaming session. " At least we know I'm the better gamer even when I'm too drunk to remember!" I see him sporting what must he the smuggest grin I think a person could ever manage.
"Fair enough Tye , you win this round but I'll catch up in no time." We continue to play until noon when my stomach makes weird growling noises with a little bit of bubbling so we order a pizza from the shopping plaza a block down the street to split.
We head outside and it is annoyingly bright to our dark room video game eyes so we squint and move through the surprisingly warm weather for this time in November very slowly while our vision adjusts.
We finally walk into PizzaDome our favorite pizza spot and hope to see our friend working the front but unluckily they weren't there so I guess it's no free breadsticks or soda today. Tye tries poorly to chatup the young 20 something year old brunette at the register and secure us something nice for free but he does a terrible job and I swiftly walk out with the pizza and tell him to hurry before he can embarrass us anymore. I have no problem with him striking out but I don't want to be known as the “weird guy's friend” every time I walk down and across the street to get pizza.
I walk into the convenience store next door while he awkwardly runs out of the store. I grab a few sports energy drinks to go along with our pizza.
"Way to go Tye your smooth moves have prevailed again to hook us up with a sweet deal and meal" I sarcastically point out to him.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
"I could of gotten us something if you just given me a few more minutes man! I'm sure you could of...." I smile and laugh at him for a little bit during the walk back home. We are just a few houses down when it happens...
Tye and I grab our heads and I feel a large pain similar to what I imagine a thousand migraines and hangovers all hitting me at once feels like while someone cuts my skull open. My head feels like it's being split open and I start to yell involuntarily.
I look up for a quick glance as I'm on my knees on the pavement and I can see Tye grabbing his head with his mouth open but I can't hear anything over my own yelling. Everyone who I can see outside is grabbing their heads with their knees on the ground. Children, the elderly and every man and women as far as I can see.
"Hellooooo humans!" A voice yells in my head and the pain suddenly stops as if it was all an illusion the entire time. As I look around frantically, I'm trying to find who is talking. "There is no use in looking around you won't see me and yes I'm talking to you all in your own heads."
"I can do this because I am god." I look and see Tye with his mouth wide open and a lot of people who were around us too share the same wide mouth expression. Many are on their knees with their hands together as if they are ready to prey in a moment’s notice. I guess I'm not the only one hearing this then and since their is no way all that pain I just felt is fake then I'm certainly not asleep….
As hard as this may be to believe…..this might really be god or at least a being so far removed from human understanding and powerful that it may as well as be a god. Something that can affect us all like this is certainly not something that we can compete with or any human can anyway. I contemplate all of this while slowly standing up and checking the pizza to make sure it's alright.
God or not I'm gonna be pissed if this pizza is all messed up while I'm this hungry.
"Mortal men and women I have been watching you since you were created and have seen you all change from microorganisms to amphibians who crawled out of the primordial ooze billions of years ago to what you are today" he proclaims within everyone's mind.
"But I went from being proud and fascinated from the changes you have been able to make to sad and disappointed to things that you have done."
"When survival became easier for the majority of you and food a non-issue you decided not to help the other humans who struggle to feed themselves and to survive in their environments but rather to over eat and throw away anything extra rather than share it with those who would literally kill for a meal."
You also decided to destroy a lot of the other creations that started off just the same as you as small organisms in the ocean in whence life came from on this planet. Often for no reason other then you can. Not to even mention the countless things you do to destroy the environment and the delicate Eco system that this planet operates on to survive."
"Instead of making sure your fellow human beings have shelter and support you have decided to make your own homes bigger,more extravagant and even kick them out of their homes so that you can prosper more and become richer to spend on frivolous things. These are just a few of the ways you have disappointed me if I wanted to I could go on for eons in the things that you humans are lacking but instead I decided that this will be the first and last time that I speak with any of you and that I'm going to implement a new system for you all."
"Since you humans like to treat life like it is a game I decided to make it just that. In exactly three hundred seconds the world you know of will have changed completely. The weakest will have a chance to rise up and become gods themselves and all of you will have to fight to survive in this new system and live. Not to mention the animals and nature itself will become a great obstacle for you all to try and overcome."
"Muhahahaha! Good luck you will all need it!!!"