The Dark Moon, Search of Madness

“I don’t want to remember what is was that I forgot but then I try and it comes back with rot. I shall go no further searching to remember what to forget but then it always comes back with regret.

I seem to forget that I must not remember for sanity lies there not. I can’t remember if I was mad or not. It seems I forgot.”

– Words of a jester

I… am tired.

That could sum up my whole being presently. I couldn’t care less for whatever happens if it would not disturb me from this moment of painful bliss. Something hits my head and my tranquil state of mind is shattered into oblivion as I splutter around me.

“Agh!” Is the first thing I could say as water gushes into my mouth. I opened my eye to see an unknown area just beyond the river.

It was more like a beach at the bend of the river. It must have been pure luck that the current slung me here instead of further down the river. I could even have drowned if it had dragged me further.

I try to get up but could only take a few steps before falling over in a daze. I am just lying there for the world to kill but I can’t give up, not yet.

This time I managed to stay upright when I got back on my feet again but if not for the rock that I lent on nearby, I would have gone down as fast as last time.

What was I doing again? Oh yeah, Yorn was missing. But why did I leave? He must be back by now.

I did need to find the cave again so I think I should follow the river upstream. The sun started to peak over the trees to shine on me, which meant that it was one meal past already.

I will have to hurry to make it back before third meal.

I shakily take one step after the other until I could walk with confidence again.

Also, I found that I had nothing on me except drenched clothes and even those looked shabby by now.

That’s when it hit me, Vera was still at the cave and if not the gods then no one could help her now.

Except for me of course but to do that I have to be there real fast.

Taking off like a madman, I managed to run for about a kilometre or less following the river before I stumbled out of exhaustion paired with forgotten injuries and nearly fell back into the river.

I’m such a fool! Why did I do that? Ugh, it’s just that… I need to save her.

Catching my breath, I once more continue on but this time at a more leisure pace, hoping to be able to ignore my leg and other places of arduous pain for some time longer.

I don’t really know why I sprinted such in the first place, for it seems mere madness and it was pure luck I hadn’t fallen before when I did.

I dare say I must have drifted quite some distance away on the river as the sun is nearly at noon and I haven’t even stumbled upon whatever it had been that I’d thrown onto the bank.

It all seems a bit fuzzy when I try to remember, like when I am thinking about Vera and Yorn. I am sure they will be fine anyhow.

To make myself useful during this time, I quickly made some twine.

It’s very useful to know how to make rope as my father had told me so many times.

I can recall my brother and I having to sit there with our father nearby fletching some arrows, only being able to escape when guardsman Barren’s son came by and my brothers withering look as Gerran and I left.

Good old forgotten times, I at least remembered how to make those cords but I never stayed long enough to learn father’s art. My brother did become a ranger and I hope he is still alive but how would I ever know right?

It is better to not know and hope, than do and despair… I am getting too off topic.

So with whatever imitation of rope I could make, I used it to make a crude sack of my undervest in which I placed all the feathers and sharp rocks I could find along my path.

No time to learn new stuff like fletching today as that would have me try for ages with only the vaguest idea on what to do.

I could also have used my under trousers but that would have made me too cold and I didn’t really need the extra space. I have my pack back at camp after all.

At least I am not a savage yet, by which I mean that I have clothes under my amour I am wearing and also know what they are called. Like who wouldn’t in this age.

I can also read a bit as a fact, which most people wouldn’t even think of to be able to do.

The time went past as slow as the scenery. It took ages before I could even recognise the area a little bit.

I saw very little wildlife on my side of the river, which I can only think is due to the mad ones and that heinous wolf pack, while on the opposite side there was movements among the trees every so often.

It is said that time passes slowly if you speak with someone and faster if you are merely doing chores.

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I think that they should also have considered people talking to themselves but I have personally never seen anyone seriously do so.

Yorn was starting to when the battle of vender happened, when the army I served in was annihilated but I didn’t notice anything after we escaped from the slaughter.

I continued on for some time but when I suddenly stepped on an old rotten tree trunk, it rolled away and got my injured leg pinned under its new position.

“Argh! In the Gods bloody names!” It happened in a flash but the intense unexpected movement made my leg blaze with pain, again.

I was laying there panting heavily for a few minutes, not able to muster the resolve for action.

It happens in every man’s life when one day, you just can’t take it any longer. Then you decide your fate.

The brave and cunning aren’t beaten down in their worst moments but in their longest hours. Any hero, or even any common man, would be shattered if hit enough times upon the anvil of fate.

Then you decide your fate, for one can only life or die at the hand of his or hers own choices. I shakily reached out for a branch to lift the trunk ever so slightly so that I could pull my leg out from under it.

…

A man was walking beside me.

He seems familiar, like if he had passed me not moments ago. Time flows by so fast that it is nearly all one picture. It is interesting though since this was the first human that I have seen along my shores for quite some time even to me. I think.

This one also seems to have not as many holes in him unlike the previous ones that had stoically ridden the torrents until they continued no more. I had been red for days then.

That’s why this human is so interesting, it has more wishes and desires than any of my creatures could even think to have.

What I don’t understand though is why he ran like that, as it was clearly a stupid thing to do with those damages. So of course he fell and nearly joined me too.

A shame it didn’t since the previous humans were quite fun to play with after you ignored their silence. Even the fish liked them and I must admit that they had a peculiar taste.

After that fall, it behaved a little differently, like as if the one before would be brave in the face of danger, this one would merely be unfazed.

I find that strange but then so again were most humans that too. Maybe my creatures aren’t so bad after all. I wish I could ask them.

Well, since they can’t understand for themselves, maybe I should tell them of the man’s actions. If they can pay attention to me that is since I don’t want to waste my time anymore than I normally do.

Well as long as the human remains interesting, it shouldn’t be a problem.

The man is still walking past me, seemingly to a destination. Maybe he is going to those items that lay upon my shores quite some distance the river up but then why doesn’t it just walk straight?

He moves one leg in what I think is normal for humans but he barely uses the other one. Why bother with the possession of two of them if you only use one?

He should also take better care of it too, for the erosion really has gotten to it or whatever you call it for humans. And he shouldn’t at all place that foot upon that other rotting… Well, that certainly is interesting.

Again, to be fair, it will only be interesting if he does something from under there and I really can’t be bothered to just watch him lie there. Maybe I can encourage him a bit.

Hmm, I can’t seem… to… do anything. It works with my fish so why not with the human? Oh, that’s good but I didn’t expect the human to do anything after all.

At least not without my help, since he was just staring there at the sky. I can understand that the sky is very big and beautiful as I myself have looked at it many times but that human most likely was supposed to do something.

It barely managed to escape from under the tree trunk but it was smart and lifted the whole thing slightly up with another branch so he could then pull his leg from underneath it, which I hadn’t thought of.

It then boringly rested for some time but I am pretty sure that it was still the same day even if the sun had moved a bit; I got somewhat distracted then.

The human then just suddenly stood up and started walking a bit but he properly looked where he walked this time, as he should.

The sun’s light barely reached him when he was just about to miss the stuff he threw on the bank before.

I can’t let him leave without those since he amused me when he was under that log, it would be very… unthankful towards him if I did.

I try to tell him that he is walking past his stuff but I don’t think he could hear me. Just infuriating!

Argh, the torrents are raging in my frustration. It came so suddenly that the man even stopped to watch. Maybe that’s something I can try.

With some power I draw his attention to where his items lay.

I let out a small chuckle when I saw the human suddenly see his metal object and spun around, just now noticing that he fully recognised the surroundings. He quickly grabbed his stuff and broke into a slow jog.

He seemed very excited, which I can only think is because he must be close to wherever he wants to go next.

He stopped when he arrived at where the ground evened out into the river.

I can faintly remember the lions coming to drink here periodically but I don’t think they have been here for some time.

Even the trees are taller and more plentiful now, so even the water keepers must have begun to just them alone.

I can still think of the fun I had with them but even they must have left me now.

After the man rested again, he went back into the woods even if it was nearly totally dark now.

So he left my river and left me too. The last moment I saw from him was that he glanced behind him towards me, as I once more tried to reach out to him.

Then he was gone.

Sarmin…

I left the river’s side when I finally recognised the shore where Yorn and I had been a few days ago.

It was nearly dark but I think that I should be able to find the cave before that. Yet without the sun as my guide, I will have to rely on my memory. I have only come this way once and been dragged away the other time, not to mention my escape into the river.

That’s what brought me to this moment in the first place, or if not that then it must have been Yorn leaving.

So I think we came from the east but it will be hard to keep going that way if the sun isn’t here to check. I had lost my torch so the little I knew of tracking was useless without light to see by. I am sure that an experienced hunter could still operate with minimal light but I doubt I could become one within a year if not more so till then I will just rely on the obvious. I am adaptable like that.

It was so boring though during my walk through the forest that I just had to speak with someone. Loneliness could make a person mad, and not the cursed kind but the normal type if there is one such.

There was no one to be seen but I would still rather not talk to myself.

“So I am Deamos. How very nice to meet you Sarmin. If I were here, then I would of course try to help you but I can’t.” A man, with features you would immediately forget after seeing them, said. I stifled a laugh as I imagined it. I thought of him again but this time I could see his long black hair, tall figure and a fair, elegant face. When I paid attention to it, I could also see that he had sleek and sharp fingers.

“Hahaha, how nice to meet you too. I am Sarmin but apparently you already know that. No matter. Your company is help enough so worry not my friend.” I thought that he narrowed his eyes before letting out a sigh.

“If merely that already gladdens you, then I think I can do one more. So how about you start to pay attention?”

“What?” He confused me there but before I could ask what he meant, I stumbled into a hole.

It was a shallow one luckily. I stood up while blessing the fact that I fell forward with my most intact leg, and instantly noticed several bodies nearby. Yet he couldn’t bring Deamos back to mind as his thoughts were once more brought to panic as he saw them.

He scrambled out of the hole and was about to run away when he saw that they were dead, very dead. Clearly they had been killed some days ago. I had of course known that they were dead but whoever did that could have still been nearby. It seems I have nothing to fear and even if there was, I can’t forget that I have this blade.

I have the experience of battles dark and long. I will survive!

With newfound courage I go over the bodies. As I look at the possesions of the first one, I recognize it as one of the two that Yorn had killed. This was where we had fought the mad ones before, however they seemed to have been placed next to each other by someone.

I take a look at the somewhat shallow but long hole once more, and finally make the connection.

“Yorn. Seems he came here after he left and dug holes for them. Surely he wasn’t going to bury them, but what else then?” With a sigh he left the place but not before he noticed some clearly disturbed leaves and signs of something being dragged. They appeared to be going north but that was not in the direction his cave was.

Who knows why Yorn dragged something to or from here, maybe another body?

It truly was dark by now, enough that I could only hope to get lost again if I went further into the forest but rather than staying near the bodies, I went back to the river.

It wasn’t that far from here and while dangerous beat may be attracted to the water, I had forgotten to fill my canteen myself and it didn’t hurt that I vaguely knew where I was there. It has been a tiresome and long trip to get back here, but I don’t doubt that my sleep would be even worse. Maybe I should talk with Deamos again? I hope he is around, I am sure he would like to see the moon clearly.

Its almost pure white light is truly startling.