Fladnag’s wagon was not designed to serve as a conference room. Esmelda, Leto, and I sat on the bed, while Fladnag and Gastard occupied the storage bin that served as a bench. Our knees touched. For once, I wasn’t wearing my armor. After talking to Erdene and Batu, I’d given myself a bird bath with water from my flask and called a family meeting.

The army wasn’t ready to move yet, and night had fallen. Torches surrounded the wagon, creating spawn free perimeter, but I knew that Malphas was in the air, tasked with managing the mobs that did appear. Astaroth was still out of commission, but rather than leave him on the outside, I’d had him moved to another wagon to recover. The demons generally didn’t bother me at night, but Celaeno and her flock were roosting all over the camp, and I’d asked her to warn me if Gaap or Furtur came around.

Esmelda put one small hand over mine. It felt cold, but that was because I was running hot.

“What did the orkhan say?” She asked. “You look like you're ready for an execution.”

“I’ve violated my oath to Orobas,” I said, “by attempting to conspire to betray the demons.”

“Attempting to conspire?” Esmelda frowned. “What does that even mean?”

Gastard grunted, stretching his lips in a stony smile. “Then you are finally ready to talk.”

Fladnag looked at me curiously. He seemed to have recovered from his panic attack, or whatever it had been, but his face was still drawn, and he said nothing. Leto pulled his legs up onto the bed, wrapping his arms around his shins.

“I told Erdene, the shaman, that I wanted to work with them to stop the demons from transforming this world. She doesn’t trust me yet, and Batu thinks I’m lying. But just asking crossed the line as far as my oath was concerned.”

“We thought it was something like that,” Esmelda said. “When you wouldn’t talk about it.”

Gastard nodded. “A pact with Bedlam can only lead to corruption, and it pained me to see you walking this path. It is dishonorable to break one’s solemn word, but it is worse by far to give one’s honor over to the whims of demons. Whatever the price of breaking your bonds with them, I will stand by your side to face it.”

“Thank you,” I said. His gaze was so earnest I found it hard to meet. “I’m not sure what to do now that the curse has been triggered, and I think it's a decision we should make together.”

I tapped the elder sign on my hand.

Class: Survivor Level: 29

Progress to next level: 65% Attributes:

Attributes:

Might: D-

Speed: E+

Presence: F+

Curse of Weakness: While under the effects of this curse, your physical

attributes will gradually decline. With every passing night, Might and Speed will incur a cumulative penalty.

Esmelda leaned against my shoulder as she read and reread the information on the blue screen floating above my hand.

“It’s strange to see a person’s life represented this way,” she said. “These letters. Have they changed?”

“We’ll see what happens to them by morning,” I said, “If I start dropping letter grades, I won’t last long..”

“Where is the bottom?” Gastard asked. “And what happens when you reach it?”

“Then he will lose his life,” Fladnag said.

We all looked at him.

“You know about this curse?” I said.

The old man removed his hat and placed it in his lap. “Oaths are a serious thing,” he said, “even for mortal men. When you bind your essence to an oath, it becomes all the more dire. The only escape from such a curse is to break the artifact on which it was sworn, or to atone.”

“Are you going to die?” Leto asked. His eyes were wide and searching. It might have been better to keep him out of this conversation, but I didn’t want him wandering around the camp, and I didn’t want to keep any more secrets from him either. Whatever we decided to do, he was going to be a part of it.

“I’m going to do my best not to,” I said. “I’ve been doing some things wrong, and now I want to make them right. It’s dangerous, but a lot of what I do is dangerous, and it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“Atonement,” Esmelda said. “Does that mean breaking Salenus, or just reaffirming one’s oaths? Did the curse respond to his words alone, or the feeling in his heart?”

“Closer to the second, I would think,” Fladnag said. “Our essence is bound up in every part of us, heart, body, and mind. Executing the shaman could be enough, or it might mean nothing if the act was committed in some misguided attempt to fool the magic of the oath.” He looked me in the eye. “If you repented in the deepest part of you, it would not matter what you had said. Your soul would give lie to any word you spoke. If what you told the shaman had been an empty deception, it would not have triggered the geas. The fact that the curse weighs on you now is the first proof I have seen that you are not an agent of the One Who Knocks.”

I sat forward. Did this mean he was finally ready to speak openly with me about who he was?

“Are you a hero?” I said. “Were you sent here from another world?”

Fladnag’s face dropped, and he seemed to shrink. “Sometimes,” he said, “I half believe that all of that was only a dream.”

“All of what?” Esmelda said.

“Take your pick. The blue goddess, the wars. Entire lifetimes.” He closed his eyes, crumbling the wide-brimmed hat in his hand. “I am not who I was. I am not who I am. This world has taken from me more than it ever gave, but I am unable to escape it.”

Gastard placed his hand on the old man’s shoulder. “Answer only if you can,” he said, “I know that you have seen much. Who were you before?”

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“Umber,” he said. “Umberious. Brightwater. Fladnag. Lord Uther. Uriah Wanderer. Ulman the apothecary. Calvin. I think my first name was Calvin.”

Esmelda sat up straight, taking in a sharp breath. “Umber? One of the heroes of my people? Are you saying you are him?”

“Umberious Rex,” Gastard said, allowing his hand to slip from Fladnag’s shoulder. “The first king of Drom. That is difficult to believe.”

It was no more than I had suspected, but I had never considered the sheer number of identities this man must have assumed over the centuries.

“What happened to you?” I said.

Fladnag uttered a short, bitter laugh. “Did I not tell you the tale? The four heroes who led the lillits out of Dargoth, and what came after? I admit that what I said was more myth than memory. And there was much more than that. Those other names did not belong to heroes. Most of the lives I have lived were in service to nothing other than my own misery.”

“You are one of Mizu’s chosen,” Esmelda said. “Immortal, blessed with the gift of healing. Do you not serve her still?”

Fladnag lifted his stump. “I am free of that witch. Free of the burdens she called blessings. I am only a man now, and live as I choose, bound to no god or demon.”

“You cut off your hand,” I said. “Did that take away your System?”

“System,” Fladnag sniffed, “I have not heard that word in a long time. No. Losing your hand will not take away your power. I gave up mine because I lost my battle with the shadow, and I could not stand the sight of how I had been corrupted.”

Leto was looking between us in confusion. “You cut off your hand?”

Fladnag’s smile was taut. “It was not mine anymore. Corruption comes upon each of us differently.” He gestured at me. “Your eyes, those horns, they are small marks. And it seems that your power has not yet been twisted at its root, so you are not too far gone. If you saw my hand, you would think it belonged to a demon. The blessings that once ran from my fingers like the purest waters were replaced with disease and decay.”

“You can no longer heal?” Esmelda asked.

“Some healing is possible,” Fladnag said, “but in place of any wound I close a deeper sickness is planted.”

“You said you couldn’t escape.” My thoughts turned to the fog of countless deaths. “Heroes can return if they die, but they don’t have to return. How is that different for you?”

Fladnag shrugged. “None of us know what happens in the space between death and life. There is a scheme behind it, a grand game with rules known only to the gods. I have learned more about the worlds beyond this one from demons than from angels. So many others left this world, their spirits broken by your predecessor. It is supposed to be a choice. But I have taken my own life, swearing to myself that I would not return, only to awake the next morning once again bearing the shame of my failures on my right arm.”

I didn’t want to die, I wanted to have a real life in the world, and preferably a long one. But the idea of being trapped in a cycle of lives and deaths from which there was no escape was horrifying. That had been me in Kevin’s cage, and I had come to believe that the fact I had kept respawning was due to choices I didn’t remember making. That had been Bojack’s take on it, but what if griefing didn’t work on me because there was no way out anymore? Could Mizu have changed the rules so that there was no opt-out option for her heroes?

“I’m glad you’re here,” Leto said, his voice barely audible. “You taught me magic tricks.”

Fladnag didn’t appear to know what to say to that. Tears were forming in the corner of his eyes

.

“You’ve had children,” I said, remembering how he reacted to finding out that Leto was my son. “Did something happen to them?”

“To them?” He shook his head. “It depends on what you mean. I sometimes wonder how many who wander this earth are my descendants. Those that I knew all grew old and died. After Nadia, I kept myself aloof for many years. But those other names, some of them were just the names of ordinary men who I pretended to be. I have had wives, I have had sons and daughters…” He lost his voice.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “And thank you for sharing this with us. You may not think of yourself as one of the heroes anymore, but right now, I don’t need you to perform miracles. I need your guidance. For as long as I’ve been here, I feel like I’ve been stumbling around in the dark, making things up as I go along. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you're still here too.”

Esmelda took her hand from mine to touch Fladnag’s knee. “I can’t pretend to know the mind of the goddess, but I cannot believe that your suffering was for nothing. If you are here now, it is because we need you here.”

Fladnag said nothing to this, staring down at his crumpled hat. The Curse of Weakness wasn’t going to knock me out in a day, but until it was broken, every minute counted.

“I keep the Oathblade that I have been using to accept the oaths of the demons, but Orobas has the knife that contains my oath. I have to return to Mount Doom to break it. Even if I do, I would have to remain there to guard Kevin. The rest of the demons would be free to do what they wanted.”

“Even those who have sworn on your sword?” Gastard said. “Are they not bound as well?”

“They would probably try to kill me. Even if a curse weakens them, I’m sure that’s not as bad as whatever their god will do to them if they decided to work for me instead of him.” I looked at my hands. Even if I was the strongest force in this world, which I wasn’t, I still couldn’t be everywhere at once. “That’s why I want the shamans' help. They can fight the demons, but regular people can’t. I can’t guard Kevin and kick Bedlam out of this world at the same time. But I could trust them not to let him get out.”

“Potions and enchantments,” Esmelda said. “Enough of those, and mortal men can stand against demons. If we go back now, and you remain at Mount Doom to keep Kevin in his cage, others can go to fight the shadow in your place.”

It was a possibility, but part of me felt like it wouldn’t work. Maybe it was hubris, but I didn’t want to send others to do my fighting for me. Equipment could be lost, and those who failed would put any weapons I created for them in the hands of the enemy.

“I still want to try to meet with the orkhans,” I said. “Or their religious leaders. If I can just convince Erdene that we were on the same side, that would be a start.”

“Malphas can fly faster than we can ride,” Esmelda said. “If he realizes what you want to do, he could warn Orobas, and Kevin might be free before we have a chance to reach the mountain.”

“Then we kill him now,” Gastard said. “We kill all of them in one day, and the other demons will not have the opportunity to realize what has happened until it is too late for them to change it.”

I looked to Fladnag, who was staring down at his hat like it had all the answers. “What do you think?”

His response was slow in coming. “Without masters, the monsters that you brought here would ravage the land. What people there are would be overrun. If we take them forward, into Atlan, they will no longer be protected by the storm, and they will burn to nothing as soon as the demons are gone.”

“We aren’t far from the border,” I said, “and it would mean that many fewer trolls to deal with once the rest of them turn on me.”

“More than that,” he continued, “it could show the orkhans that you are not the Dark Lord they believe you to be.”

“You would all be safer if we were out from under the storm,” I said. “Let’s take a vote. Do we go forward or back? Either way, I’m going to have to deal with Gaap and Malphas, if not all of them, before we change direction. Both of them have air magic and could get back to Mount Doom before us. If the answer is turning around now, then I want to send you all on the road before I do anything. When I start fighting them, you shouldn’t be close enough for them to threaten you.”

“We begin as soon as the sun rises,” Gastard said. “What you have given me is enough to slay a demon. If you and I act at the same time, two of them could be defeated before the others see the threat. Astaroth is still weak, that would mean we only had to face one enemy prepared. If we wait, he will recover, and there will be two.”

“But that one will have an army of monsters at his command,” Esmelda said. “Fladnag is right, if we enter Atlan, the sun will be our greatest ally.”

Leto was still hugging his legs. “I don’t want you to send us away.”

I sighed. Every day that passed meant I would grow weaker, and we still had to make it back to Mount Doom. Even if I killed all the demons first thing in the morning, there would be a platoon of varghest riding hollows to deal with, and I could only move my family so fast. Bringing them with me was stupid, but leaving them behind would have been potentially just as bad.

“Forward,” I said. “And I’ll try to speak with Erdene again as well. Her magic could make a difference when this gets started.”

The shamans had used jewels to empower their spells, and I would have to find out if there were only certain gems that would work. I could give her an entire block of diamonds if it would help. Gastard grunted in acknowledgment of my decision. Either way, he would be fighting demons soon. I could use the intervening time to restock some of the potions I had lost during the battle. We were going to need every advantage we could get.