Kip closed his eyes as he gripped Ismelda’s wings. The harpy had sailed into the large hole in the exit room; she navigated the tunnels of the underdark as best she could.

How on Earth did they make their way through? Kip thought to himself, We were all in the labyrinth! Unless they found some other way in.

Kip was so busy wondering how for a brief minute he had forgotten ‘who.’ The intruders happened to be a band that belonged to the most dangerous mercenary company.

“What’s the plan, Kip?” Ismelda asked as she plunged into the abyss. She opened her wings wide and flew into a cramped crevice.

“West tunnels. West tunnels,” Kip thought to himself, “West tunnels. First act. West tunnels. First act.”

Kip remembered what Stormbristle said shortly after the Duergar interrupted the party. Kip had just retracted his wings and was rightfully panicking. His panic caused some of the other people to panic. Their panic made Kip panic more. And so on.

“Kip,” Stormbristle said to Kip, “This is your first act as leader. You must lead.”

“How,” Kip asked, “Why? When?”

“Now. How? Not sure. Why? Because the Dark Lord had faith.” Stormbristle said, “What should we do?”

Kip nervously looked around, the chance of getting something wrong caused his stomach to rumble with nervousness. Baraz was being healed by Azami, but what about the ones that didn’t make it out? Who else was down there? Had someone already died?

“Ismelda,” Kip cleared his throat, “I need you to take me somewhere, please.” Emersa stepped up but Kip held his hand out, “I need you for something else.” The other harpy turned to look at him, cocking her head in a bird-like fashion. He looked around, “Everyone who belongs to the lower floors, make your way there at once! In your respective groups. Zeke, follow close behind. Where were they?”

Baraz breathed heavily as he continued to be treated, “By… the hot tub…”

“You have a hot tub?” Azami asked, jealous.

“It’s… amazing… or at least it was. Before them.”

“That hot tub is the only reason I’m standing here,” Kip said, “Let’s all move!”

It took everyone a second to realize they had been given orders from such a tiny chap but after Kip repeated himself they were on their way.

Kip jumped on Ismelda and they headed over. Emersa had followed into the Underdark but diverged per Kip’s instructions.

Kip was forced back to the present as Ismelda flapped her wings to land.

“You’re landing?”

“Space too thin.” Ismelda said, “I would if I could but I can’t. Don’t you know?”

“Sorry, Ismelda. Thank you for your help. If you see Zeke on your way back to your floor, point him in my direction. Do you think Emersa will get to Xrgl in time?”

“My sister is the fastest harpy I know. Second fastest, actually. Only to me.”

Kip nodded his head and bid adieu as Imersa traveled back the way she came. The caves were getting more cramped. Kip recognized this way as the direction of the hot tub. The area he was in was a small clearing that had a tiny rocky underpass.

Kip crawled in as slowly as he could. It was eerily similar to the same scene as when he was last there. Fog permeated into the underpass. He could hear mirth from the other side. The difference was instead of mischievous orcs, it was a gang of half-naked intruders, laughing inside the water. And eerily similar as before… There was Sal.

“Sal?!” Kip asked. All of them turned to look at the young kobold. Sal’s gaze revealed real fear in his eyes. One of them, a day dwarf, immediately took out an axe from under the water. Kip raised his hands, revealing that he had nothing but his tool belt.

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“Ahh,” Said one of the members in the tub, “It’s just a kobold. They’re more scared of you than you are of them.” The member was human. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Lithe but well muscled and more importantly a mustache and goatee combo that made Kip a little jealous he couldn’t grow hair follicles.

The dwarf placed his axe back under the water, “Ain’t scared of nothing, Cassios. Specially no kobold.”

“Hello there. I’m… Kip.” The kobold spoke nervously, almost forgetting his name. He looked around the room. Take stock. Immediately, Kip thought. Distract. Wait for backup. Enclosed room, a tiny opening meant for dwarves.

The four intruders chuckled, The dwarf spoke up again, “Gave itself a name, has it?” Then he said, “Why don’t you run along to your little master. Make sure they know we’re here. We’re coming for the Dark Lord’s head.”

“I’m curious,” Kip said, “You two have the two headed stag symbol. That means you’re mercenaries. Why go after the Dark Lord? Surely, there’s no price big enough for the trouble.”

“What business is it of yours?!” The orc said, splashing water on Kip as she kept her arm around

One male human. One male day dwarf. One elven female, possibly half. One female orc. The dwarf still had almost everything on in the water. Including his helmet. Classes? The female elf was likely a caster. Dwarf could be a warrior.

“Uh… well.. You see.. I’m the new Dark Lord.”

They all looked at each other, wondering when Kip was going to say, “Just fooling! Let me go get the real Dark Lord.” They waited and waited and waited but Kip did not do that. He merely said, “That’s right. I’m the Dark Lord.” When they realized Kip was not making a joke, they all burst out laughing, Kip’s seriousness making the joke even funnier.

“It’s alright,” Kip said, “It is a bit silly.”

“Hey!” Zeke crawled under the incredibly low ceiling. Zeke shouted out from behind the underpass. He could not fit his body through it. Kip realized he had made a mistake, recruiting a mob boss from the wrong floor. Zeke got on his hands and knees, unable to further his gargantuan body into the smaller hot tub room. Even if his main body could somehow snuggly fit, his horns prevented him from getting him to the door, “I heard what you said about my boss, that’s not FREAKING cool.”

“It’s alright,” Kip said, “It really isn’t a big deal, Zeke.”

“This guy just crushed Lord Davorin a few hours ago. Prince of Shadows. The Unquenchable. Kip made absolutely light work of him. Not joking. Flew away. Total wuss. Davorin, not Kip.”

Once again, the lack of a joke being told made the joke all the more funny. They all exchanged glances and pointed at tiny Kip as they tried to imagine him beating Lord Davorin in a fight.

I was just explaining to the kind people that the Dark Lord they’re seeking is no longer here!” Kip turned to them and smiled, clasping his hands like he worked in hospitality, “And that your guess as to where to find him is as good as mine. With that being said, I hope you all enjoy your time in the hot tub. I would love to get you all the food and drink you would need on your journey and assure you a safe passage upward, out of these floors.”

“Wait,” Cassios said as he pressed his wet hair back, “you’re telling me that the Dark Lord and the Unquenchable are not guarding the castle floors?”

“Uhm,” Kip looked around nervously, “What makes you say that?”

“You did,” said the Orquette, “You said the old Dark Lord isn’t here and the guy on the other side said that Davorin isn’t here.”

“Well… I’m not sure… Zeke was really speaking out of turn.. I don’t… uh...”

Everyone looked around, “If the two biggest threats are not guarding this dungeon, that means its spoils are ours for the taking. Correct?”

“I… ahh… Uhh…” Kip’s brain started moving quicker than he could act. Weapons behind him. Only the dwarf had his axe on him. Kip had to move quickly. These people were mercenaries. Extraordinary ones at that. If the stories told of the Ducervi were true, they’d make quick work of the Underdark’s numbers. Running was an option, but then what? Sal was still being held as a personal campfire. Kip knew what he would have to do.

“I think what Kip’s trying to say…” Sal started.

“Burst!” Kip sprung toward the dwarf. Kip’s claws were out, and his jaw was opened. The dwarf laughed, “Typical monsters.” He threw up the broadside of the axe from under the water. Kip collided with the broadside and attempted to wrap his hands around it, but The dwarf shifted his axe to the right, it sliced Kip’s arm and then the dwarf pressed on the elongated handle, forcing Kip back. Kip’s lower half clipped the bottom of the hot tub and he fell on his back.

For a third time, everybody in that room laughed at him. Sal was the only one who did not. Everybody stood up, and when Sal tried to join, the orc pressed him to sit with her hand.

“I’ll give you two options, rat.” Said Casios, “You speak eloquently and tried to reason with us. You can carry our things while we slaughter our way through the dungeon and take the most precious artifacts of each unguarded floor, or…”

“I think I know where this is going,” Kip said as he stared straight up at the cave wall. He noticed the pipe hanging above all of them, with its trap to only let the water in after the string had been pulled.

“...Or die by my hands while I’m completely naked. And your lizard friend watches you.”

“He’s actually a salamander,” Kip said.

“We’re more like coworkers,” Sal said.

“Which is it?”

Kip and Sal exchanged glances, they were both terrified but an eek of nervous laughter escaped both of them.

“You find something funny?”

Sal shook his head and Kip kept giggling.

“Something about my mercy is laughable?”

“No,” Sal said, “it’s just… we have this saying in the Dark Lord’s dungeon. Kind of a motto, really.”

“Pray tell.”

Kip stared at Casios as he said, “Never make a deal with a human,” and jumped up, grabbing the string to the pipe trap and pulling it so hard, it came off the pipe, causing water to rush in.