I have realized my mistake. It’s almost as if my experiences on the cultivation world have taught me nothing. The strong rule the weak, might makes right after all. If the victor decides what is truth and righteous, I will just have to be the victor. How difficult a concept is that to grasp?

All my mistakes, every error in judgement and oversight I have made will be forgotten if I can simply survive the last person to witness them. I forgot to include a third of all power available in this world in the attraction formation inside Tree? No problem, just I will just have to beat up Tree. Giving those below me the freedom to do as they wish? What foolish folly, I will subjugate them and rule with an iron fist.

Suddenly, the energy between heaven and earth comes gushing towards me, almost as if the universe has recognized me and is now giving me its power willingly. No longer needing to transform the qi into my own through hard work and meditation, I feel my cultivation base skyrocketing.

My foundational cultivation base solidifies once again, forming a pillar. The energy keeps gushing inside my form, forming another pillar. And another. Nine pillar form in total, all filled with a majestic air, brimming with absolute power. A dragon forms, which roars to the heavens. A majestic and mystical and mysterious air surrounds the dragon, which curls up and goes to sleep.

I open my eyes, rays of light piercing the skies as my eyes glow with mystical mysticism. Looking around, I see that I am laying across Tess’s mount, the last few savage mutants disappearing as they are sucked into Tree. I stand up, my robes flapping majestically in the breeze.

Wait, I am wearing robes? Yes, black robes with majestic dragons embroidered in mystical patterns. My long hair flows in the wind, and I glimpse the law of air currents inside the flowing flows of flowing hair. Enlightenment pours into my mind, causing the dragon in my core to also flap around as a tornado forms around my nine pillars.

“Teach, you okay?” Asks Tess.

What disrespect is this? “HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME, YOUR BETTER, BY NAME? CALL ME REVERED SENIOR TEACH, YOU INSOLENT WHELP!”

The cat below me explodes into a fine bloody mist under the sound of my voice. Everybody freezes. I see Ferah, Tess, Ket and Rhea looking at me with horror in their eyes.

“Noooo! Blacky!” calls Ferah.

“KITTY!” Tess falls to her knees.

“Teach, what’s going on?” Rhea is looking at me with wide eyes.

“Address me as revered senior Teach, I will not repeat myself.” I stare at my disobedient subordinates with a piercing glare. Tess, Ket and Ferah spit out a mouth full of blood, unable to resist my killing intent. Rhea stumbles as she barely resists the mental pressure.

“I have seen the Dao, truth is a grain of rice while lies are flowing water. The beginning of all can be read on the back of a shampoo bottle while the end is foretold in the eyes of children.” It all makes sense now.

Rhea looks very confused as she struggles to stand. I release the pressure around her and put my arm around her. “Be still now, darling. I will only love you and be faithful forever. Unless you agree to me having a few side-hoes, of course. No, I don’t need your agreement. I will stand above all things, after all. That includes your opinion, the opinion of my readers and all the harem hating faggots out there.”

I spit on the ground, my saliva forming profound patterns. I lose myself in the flowing water as I sense my spit dribble down my chin, gaining enlightenment on the truth and Dao of water. Rhea has fainted by now and is foaming at the mouth. I stuff a mystical healing pill inside her mouth and put her head on my chest.

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Rising into the air, I call forth a mystical sword from my ring. Standing upon the blade, I soar through the skies as I transform into a multicoloured prismatic streak of light. The area behind me explodes as I suddenly move with many times the speed of sound.

I cast a glance backwards, only to see the mountains exploding. Maybe moving so fast that the air transforms into plasma was a bad idea? I cast my spiritual sense backwards and sense no life. Ah well, I can get more disciples later, I guess.

“Fwwububueurueu, fbabawawwwuwuwuw!” Yes, that is what I must do. I sense the wind roaring past me as it flaps my cheeks to and fro. I gain enlightenment in the profundities of air for a moment before I become bored.

I appear above Tower City, a stain on my honour. They dared to lay hands on my disciples. Also, that shopkeeper dares to try to scam me. I must cleanse this blight, they gave me no face so now I will give them no face.

I snort, the dragon roars and my nine pillars transform into a perfect golden core. The shockwave of physical force emanating from my nostrils flattens the entire city. That should teach them a lesson, how dare that shopkeeper try to make a living.

“I will not rest until all my enemies are slain and lie dead before me, that is an oath I will swear to the heavens.” The heavenly Dao descend, confirming my oath. Mysterious, profound and mystical light descends, marking me as a chosen of heaven.

Cool!

Now for those shitty nobles. Nobles are always evil, everyone knows that. The poor folk that follow those evil nobles must therefore also be evil. With a mysterious glimmer in my eye, I speed onwards, traveling on the sword as I employ the Soaring Skies Swift Traversal sword technique.

Mere moments later, leaving another massive trail of superheated and exploding plasma in my wake, I float above the Capital. “I AM HERE FOR REVENGE! I WILL SLAUGHTER ALL MY ENEMIES UNTIL THE NINTH GENERATION, THIS I SWEAR BY THE HEAVENS!”

More golden light descends, and my perfect mysterious heavenly golden perfect core transforms into a multicoloured nascent soul. I pour in all my understanding of science and my nascent soul transforms into a nine-hundred and ninety-nine petaled heavenly lilly.

Each petal is a different colour, representing a unique element. The red petal represents fire, the lime green petal is nuclear power, the mauve one is the earth while the okre petal radiates an earthworm energy. The teal petal is the smell of freshly cut grass, the blue one is ice-nine, the black one represents my hate for poorly produced rap music and the purple one is the power of friendship. Naming all of them would take too long, but each one holds a profound and mystical light, shining brightly.

I grasp the sword under my feet in my hands and swing lightly. Two hundred million thousand sword beams shoot from my sword glittering with a sharp aura, obliterating the massive city below. My evil and wicked enemies scream in terror as I ruthlessly cut them down one by one. I don't even spare the puppies.

The city now in ruins due to my totally justified and righteous wrath, I feel happy knowing that another possible threat to my existence and immortality is now gone.

Then the entire world shakes as a wave a trillion meters high comes from the sea. I swing my sword again, this time infusing the enlightenment of waves I just gained enlightenment on into my strike. The wave dies screaming and coughing blood as it explodes into a fine mist.

A massive dragon, three million thousand li long emerges from the earth. It opens it massive maws as molten lava drips from its scales. The sea boils as the city-sized chunks of molten stone fall.

“WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLU-”

Knowing an enemy when I see one, I ruthlessly squint at this new foe. It seems a bit sleepy still, so now is the best time to strike. Circling the ninth path of the Divine Viagra Path Of Heaven Threading With Big Steps through my fleshly body, I kick the massive lizard in the gonads. It squeals like a little girl as it soars into space.

The moon-sized dragon crashes into the moon, shattering it into a quadrillion pieces. I knew that dragon was evil, after all. In its rapid departure upward it took the majority of this planet’s atmosphere with it. The moon’s fragments are now raining down around me, turning the entire world into a hellscape.

I knew that dragon was evil, I should have killed it earlier. “I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE, YOU FOUL BEAST. THIS I SWEAR ON THE HEAVENS!”

More golden light pours into my core, turning my hyper-polished awesome perfect golden core nascent soul flower in a Dao seeker path. I walk down the path using the mighty technique of power walking and reach the immortal gates. Profound energy pours from between its opening crack, so I kick it lightly.

The immortal gates crumble under my mighty kicking Dao as immortal energy gushes into my core.

So that’s how I finally achieved immortality.

The end.