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The Dao of Eros
Chapter 16: Camping

Chapter 16: Camping

Apparently, each of those tiny black beads on Di’s ten bracelets was a separate ‘storage device’, though they couldn’t hold much compared to his ring.  There was food, water, iced tea, Herbs, spices and just about everything else.  Every bracelet could hold about as much as a large backpack.

When it was finally time to stop walking for the night, he took out two sleeping bags and some sort of weird glowing yellow rose.  After he planted it in the ground, it released a weird odor that made me nauseous.  However, at least it was enough to keep the mosquitoes away.  As far as vicious Beasts went, there wasn’t anything stronger than the old man, so we didn’t really need to worry about it.

Once Di was unconscious, I left the campsite and wandered aimlessly through the woods for a few minutes.  Xiaotong whispered “Levi, I’m scared… I think we should go back… It’s dangerous…”

I snickered, murmuring “Don’t worry, I just need to perform my secret ritual real fast or I won’t be able to sleep.  Ugh, I wish there was something to look at though… It’ll probably take longer since I don’t have any visual stimulation, hehehe~.”

“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do to help?  You can look at my holes!  I have lots of holes... see?” There was a translucent crimson skull floating in front of my face, but when I reached out to touch it, my hand just went through.  I honestly couldn’t tell if she was trying to make a joke, or if she really had no idea that there was a difference between eye sockets and vaginas.

“Holy shit!  Why didn’t I think of that before?” As I was listening to her speak, I suddenly realized that there was another type of stimulation that could speed things along.  I smirked at the expressionless ghost and asked “Hey Xiaotong, has anyone ever told you that you have a really cute voice?”

Fortunately, I was the only person who could hear an adorable little girl moaning and screaming “Ahn~, come for me Levi~, spray your Qi into my mouth~!”  Even though I couldn’t actually touch her skeletal teeth, I could still ‘see’ an illusion that was moving along with my right hand.  When I finally ejaculated, I heard a loud “Ah~, yes~, it feels so good~!  Mmm~, oh yes~, ahn~, ah~!”

She kept doing that until I finally said “Alright, I’m done, hahaha~... Calm down, I need to go to sleep now and if you keep making those noises, I’ll probably get horny again.” I got up off of my knees and pulled a tissue out of my left pocket.  After wiping myself off, I walked over to a pine tree and started pissing on it.

The crimson skull disappeared and Xiaotong whispered “Levi, why does your secret ritual make me feel all tingly inside?  It seems kinda naughty…” As soon as I finished wiping my dick off again, I heard “Ah!  Look out!”

“Fucking kittynipples!” I jumped two meters in the air and grabbed a relatively large branch, before continuing to frantically climb higher up into the tree.  My arms and legs were capable of lifting a lot more than my tiny four-foot body weighed.

“Shit, what the hell is this brat?!  A damn squirrel?!” When I looked down, I saw a wooden arrow stuck into the tree-trunk.  I’m not sure if they were aiming at my head, shoulder or trying to scare me, but I wasn’t going to take my chances.

I grumbled “Why didn’t that old bastard give me anything to defend myself with?!” Well, to be fair, he probably didn’t expect me to wander off and get attacked by bandits.  There were two short men, only about a foot taller than me, but there was also a giant dude with a huge battleaxe.  All three of them were wearing grey wolf-head hats, there were bleached human skulls dangling from their waists and brown fur kilts.  The little guy to the right was the one aiming a crudely made wooden bow at me, while the other had nothing more than a sharpened branch.

Once I saw their equipment, I let out a sigh of relief and muttered “No guns, they don’t seem to have any magical powers… I guess they’re probably just normal people?  Hmmm~...” When I noticed that they weren’t trying to climb up and catch me, I yelled “What the fuck’s your problem?!  Ya got a death-wish or something?!  If you try to shoot me again, I’ll go down there, rip your goddamn dick off and shove it so far up your ass, you’ll be vomiting cum!”

“Hahahaha~!  Little Bao, kill that brat for me!” The big guy with the axe slapped his right hand on the archer’s left shoulder, before continuing to laugh hysterically.  I was only about thirty meters away, but it was pretty dark in the woods and that arrow missed me by a few meters.  He fired three more times, but I quickly hid behind the tree.  Unfortunately, the branch that I was standing on broke and I fell down into a thorny bush.  My skin was all scratched up and I was bleeding, but I didn’t break any bones or pull any muscles.

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A sharpened wooden spear nearly pierced my throat as I rolled out of the bush.  I could feel my heart racing and my ears felt like they were on fire.  Not only was my adrenaline pumping, my most primal instincts were starting to kick in.  Honestly, I had never killed anyone in my last life, aside from myself… though that wasn’t intentional.  Still, I had been in a decent amount of fights when I was a teenager.  There was no disciplined training involved, just really violent brawling.  Sometimes there were weapons and there were a lot of stupid injuries.

However, I always had that instinctive sense of bloodthirst… There were a few times when I hated the person I was beating up, but even then, I had to hold back.  It was a lot like not being able to masturbate during a three day vacation with your family and finally getting home, able to watch as much porn as physically possible.  Okay, I’ve never actually gone more than twenty-four hours without ejaculating, so I can only imagine that it would be similar somehow.

Anyway, I grabbed the branch and yanked it out of the scrawny douchebag’s hands.  He jumped backwards and shouted “Be careful Boss, he’s strong!” I used the stick to block the battleaxe for a moment, before rolling to the left and nearly getting chopped in half.  An arrow flew past my left eye, but fortunately, that Bao bastard was really a really shitty archer.

I scooped my hand into the ground and threw a bunch of dirt into the giant’s eyes.  Then I sprinted forward, found a random mildly heavy stone and chucked it at the former spear-dude.  The rock hit him in the nose and he screamed in agony, while holding his face and falling onto his ass.

“Grah~!  I’m gonna murder you~!” The big cuntbag charged over and swung his double-sided battleaxe down, nearly hacking my left arm off.  Then I threw some dirt and leaves into his face.  That dumbass actually managed to inhale some of it and began coughing violently.  His face was rapidly turning blue, as he fell to his knees and dropped his weapon.

“No, Boss!” Random Archer Man stopped shooting at me and ran over to his suffocating comrade’s side.  He attempted to perform something akin to the heimlich maneuver, but only made things worse.  The first time I ever killed a person… It wasn’t cool at all, just really fucking depressing to watch.  It didn’t end fast, no, that giant moron fell onto the ground and started spewing out blood, he also vomited, then had a seizure.

You know what… I think the spearless guy died before then.  Since I was still in an adrenaline-fueled frenzy, I ran over to the dude who was sitting down and holding his oozing mutilated nasal cavity.  I kneed him in the face, then stomped down onto his throat with my right heel.  The leather sandal had fallen off when I jumped up into the tree, so I was able to feel his trachea being crushed.

“Die~!” The skinny Archer picked up his friend’s battleaxe and clumsily swung it near my mouth, but I managed to step backwards without losing any teeth.  He was only a foot taller than me and a lot weaker than I was.  Since he was shirtless, I could see that he was deathly skinny, as if he was extremely malnourished.

I grabbed the head of that axe with both hands and pulled it away from him, then plunged the wooden handle into his sternum.  He grabbed the center of his chest with both hands and tripped backwards, falling onto the spasming body of his really beefy ‘Boss’.

Even though he was definitely incapable of doing anything to me at that point, I didn’t stop.  For fuck’s sake, I was just a nine year old kid!  Those scumbags tried to murder me without even a hint of hesitation!  The only thing I knew about them, was that they had no qualms about killing children.  I didn’t want to get their blood on me, so I swung the axe-head down sideways.  

Bao raised his hands up and tried to lessen the blow, but his wrists snapped.  The second strike hit his arms again and by the third, he couldn’t put up any sort of defense.  One of the blades smacked into his jaw, easily snapping it and the other side slapped his solar plexus.  After about five more hits, I was confident that he wasn’t going to survive.

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