So, here we meet again Monsieur, I am deeply honoured by your presence and, of course, I vouch to serve you in the best way imaginable. To be frank, I am quite pleasantly surprised by your decision to revisit me. You see, I am too used to a solitary life now, so I feel ecstatic when I have someone I can talk to. The human mind is where the devil resides. Leave a man in his own company and he will devour himself with his own thoughts. It is quite paradoxical, the human condition. We long for recognition and company whilst ignoring our different selves, yearning to come to our conscious surface. It's such a shame, don’t you think, Cher Monsieur? We take pride in our ability to reason, which is a result of our superior capacity. However, it is precisely this consciousness that will torment us throughout our lives. Well, the assumption a priori to the existence of such a consciousness would be to think that we as humans even exist, for what would become of consciousness if our very being were to cease to exist? What would become of our being if our consciousness were to be eradicated? Could we even be considered beings in such a case? Perhaps this would be a good topic to start off our discussion for today! Do you think it would be a stimulating conversation, Cher Monsieur?
A consciousness without being could not be classified as a life form, but then again, a being without consciousness cannot be classified as a complete being either, although the latter case does qualify as a life form. I’ve lost many of my comrades in the great revolution, and a few of them retained their existence but were egregiously paralysed-though they were living life forms and yet lost perhaps the greatest part of themselves, which separated them from a silly fish. When I reflected upon their condition, I realised that death was far better than being an incomplete form of existence that was incapable of experiencing its own being. Existence without essence is thereby superfluous, utterly devoid of any right to exist in the first place. When I saw the damnation that had fallen upon my honourable comrades, I thought that I would do them a favour by erasing their existence; the men had fought valiantly for a just cause (that was my conception initially, but now I’m quite sceptical about whether the goal's being just or not); they had put their lives on the line for something greater than themselves, so they deserved a heroic death. If they weren’t fated to such an end, they at the very least deserved an end to such a disgraceful state. I still remember that day. A dear comrade of mine named Toulouse had expired, and I had poisoned him, but do not assume for a second that I acted out of criminality! I did what I did as an act of mercy, an act that demanded the highest degree of nobility on my part! Toulouse had been shot eleven times, and one bullet had ruptured his spine, as a consequence of which he could neither say anything nor feel anything. A comrade who put his life in danger to save hundreds of us was undeserving of such a piteous state! I did him a favour! I did a favour to all the times we had spent together! I did a favour to his family, to his cause, to his comrades, and to the very history of revolution! How can someone blame me for committing such a noble act? I would personally have preferred to die than to kill a dear friend, but such was the circumstance that I had to do it! What I did was divine! I was above conventional ethics and morality; I was a remarkable man, a demi-God; how could a man of such stature allow such a useless vermin to live?His very life was so pathetic that it had me nauseated. How can anyone let such a lowly life exist? That would be an insult to all humanity. I killed him out of merciful disgust. Yes, that’s the end of it now. Inferior beings cease to have the right to exist. Human existence is futile to begin with, and to think of a cripple must not exist. It must be relieved of its miserable life. This was an act of mercy, nothing less and nothing more.
Now what about a being that is in possession of its consciousness and yet does not exist? Now, can such a scenario even exist? Is there a being that does not exist and yet exists at the same time, particularly by virtue of its non-existence? Well, the only case we can possibly think of is that of the supernatural—phantoms and ghosts! I despise the supernatural because I believe it is nothing more than a waste of human intellectual activity—in ancient times, people would come to terms with the limits of their intellectual faculties (which I greatly admire) and thus seek answers in a world that lay beyond, and this is how the supernatural came to influence our world. Well, don’t you think, Monsieur, that we care so much about things that are beyond our understanding while carelessly handling things that are within our reach? But there is something that troubles me greatly. Are we ourselves not just something that is just too convoluted for our minds to decipher? We are so competent that we have now unravelled the great mysteries of the universe through science and rationalism, and yet, paradoxically, we are not in touch with ourselves. Can one who fails to comprehend the nature of his own existence be deserving of the opportunity to change the world radically? The answer to this is something that I have not found yet, nor do I hope to obtain it anytime soon. Perhaps I could offer a perspective—a deeply flawed one, but still something worth a thought. Maybe we're just phantoms, shadow beings who can vanish into thin air and then reappear; we're phantoms of the underworld, and we'll never be anything else, Hell!We are incapable of being ourselves, let alone anything greater. We are all merely existing within the perspective of others. We are not the subjects of our lives, but rather objects of observation for others, who are also objects of observation.In society, we all happen to be suffering from this congenital crisis—the lack of subjectivity. Our minds are constantly occupied with thoughts—often sickening ones—and we think more about how we appear to others than how we truly are. Now, if we are products of a societal phenomenon and lack the profound level of individuality that we assume we possess, then how can we claim to be real beings? Are we not ghosts created by society, perhaps even worse? It is quite sardonic, actually, that we intend willingly to be looked upon from the perspective of someone other than ourselves. This is one of the greatest problems that plague our world, an all-consuming and mundane plague that gobbles our individuality. This onlogical conflict between perspectives, one and the other, is a troubling and tragic phenomenon, to say the least.
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You must have noticed the repulsive double standards that I so shamelessly exercise. I will tell you my justification for killing a man and then proceed to talk about the phantom-like nature of our existence, thus further justifying my stance (for how can you kill a phantom? ), and yet displaying a strange sense of superiority over the incidental euthanasia perpetuated by me previously. Ha Monsieur! I am indeed a shameless man, incapable of taking a fixated stand. I always break promises I make to myself, and to be honest, I quite enjoy doing so; breaking something you promised not to break is a lot of fun!It feeds my narcissism; it assures me that as superfluous as my existence might be, I remain on a higher pedestal than everyone else (which justifies my vilification of human beings and their pathetic intelligence), for they are much worse, and my actions are the evidence of my apparent superiority! Yes, Monsieur, I am a sharp man because I know how to justify my position, no matter how hypocritical it is in reality. What I’ve done to mankind will forever be remembered as the greatest feat any human has ever achieved. Such noble work certainly gives me more authority over humans, because no human can compete with my accomplishment!I am God to these pitiful creatures. I myself am more worthy of divinity than the rest of humanity combined! Yes indeed! But I am a humble and benevolent God. I keep my celestial status a secret because I am a merciful being. Humans are not capable of handling such an overpowering revelation, but I know that a time will come when society will be ready to embrace my greatness. Until then, I must not spit out this divine truth. Alas! I just revealed it to you! Well then, I have nothing to worry about. You see, I recognise that you are a man of virtue and are a lot like me, so I am assured that you will keep our little secret.