Hi, I'm Eric, an ordinary high school student.

I'm madly in love with a girl in my high school named Ilyssa. She's extremely hot, with gorgeous lustrous orange hair, high cheek bones (a reliable Darwinian indicator of fertility) and paraboloid breasts, the volume of which are roughly given with the formula 0.5 * pi * r^2 * l where r is the radius and l is the length or height of the paraboloid.

Right now I am in her room - don't ask me how. I don't even remember how I got here. All I know is I want to bone her right here and now - I don't care about anything else.

"Hi Eric, thanks for coming along. You said you can help me out with my back problem?" Ilyssa said.

Ah yes, I'm supposed to help her out with her back problem. What was her back problem again? I'm actually not very knowledgeable about back problems. But for the sake of my penis I will do anything. I won't try any of the risky procedures of course - I'll just use a nice and safe back rub. And isn't this like, an excuse to have sex? We're high schoolers right? Aren't high schoolers supposed to be horny like that? I'll just pretend to give her a back massage and then somehow that transitions into sex, right? Although something strikes me as not quite right about this line of reasoning, I decide to ignore my gut and trust my penis to think for me instead.

"For sure! Right then, I need you to strip naked and lie on the couch. But why don't we close the curtains first, it'd be embarrassing for other people to see you naked." I said.

I suddenly notice that the curtains were open and sunlight was streaming in. Also, there was no light bulb in the room. This did not strike me as odd. It is perfectly understandable - after all, high school students aren't exactly known for their wealth. It's easily possible that she is just too poor to afford a light bulb. This logic makes perfect sense to me at the present moment.

"Oh of course! Here, help me close these curtains." Ilyssa said.

So I go up and help her close the curtains. The set of curtains which is right next to the window is white and translucent and only covers the top half of the window. We spend about 10 minutes trying to fix this set of curtains so that it covered the window, but fail because the curtain was actually just too short.

Then I notice there is actually a second set of curtains which is about 20cm away from the window and only covers the right half of the window. I spend the next 5 minutes adjusting this set of curtains to try to cover the area where we would be fucking, but fail (obviously), since it's just too narrow. It only covers either the left side or the right side (or the middle half) so there is always a direction from which an outside observer could see the location where we would be having sex; which is unsatisfactory.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Then I notice there is in fact a THIRD set of curtains (I now realize that her room has THREE sets of curtains, which does not strike me as odd) which is about 1 meter away from the window and covers the entire width of the room. It is thick and completely opaque and goes from the top of the room right down to the floor, essentially segregating the room into two halves (the half with the window and other half being the rest of the room). "Perfect! This will do!" I thought. We then spend the next 30 MINUTES adjusting this set of curtains - to no avail. Apparently the curtain was split into many parts and whenever you tried to pull one into position its neighbors would drift out of position. The more you tried to fix one part of the curtain the more the rest of it drifted in random directions. It was an impossible task. I gave up.

"Okay, this is good enough. We have 3 sets of curtains. If anyone saw anything it would be through ridiculously thin gaps and they shouldn't be able to make out anything." I said, wanting to hurry to the sex bit.

"Alright then, allow me to disrobe" Ilyssa said as she begins to take her clothes off.

"Wait a minute, do you have any nail clippers?" I suddenly realize that my fingernails are too long for fingering.

"Oh for sure, use those" Ilyssa hands me a pair of nail clippers.

I begin cutting my thumbnail. As I cut I feel some liquid begin to fill the space between my thumb and thumbnail. "Oh shit. Is it blood?" I panic and look. It is blood. I somehow manage to do something that I have never once done in my entire life of cutting thumbnails - I managed cut into my thumb.

"Shit, my thumb is bleeding" I said.

"Oh no, my thumb is bleeding too." Ilyssa said. I look over and see her holding her thumb and blood is coming out of the top. It is amazing that both of us managed to cut our thumbs at exactly the same place, at almost the same time. Somehow, this makes perfect sense to me and I do not question the logic of it.

"Hold on, I'll get some bandage" Ilyssa said and goes to fetch some bandage.

And then I woke up.

"Fuck, we didn't even get to have sex yet." I thought to myself. God dammit. I blew my only chance to have sex with virtual Ilyssa - the non-weird one. After the rejection last time by the real Ilyssa my self confidence has completely tanked. I have no gas left in the Self-Confidence tank so to speak. The ignition won't start. You get the point.

I take a shower, get dressed, have some cereal for breakfast, wash the dishes, brush my teeth and go to school.

"Mornin" I said to Elliot. He is a party-goer. He likes to go to parties.

"Hey Eric! How are you doing this fine day?" replied Elliot.

"Eh. Not feeling too good. Had a dream where I was going to have sex with Ilyssa but ended up fixing curtains and cutting my thumb instead" I said.

"Oh yeah? Shit sucks man. I wish I could remember my dreams though. Sometimes I wake up and I know I had a dream but I just can't remember it, ya know?" Elliot said.

"Oh, have you tried using a dream journal? I heard that if you write down your dreams as soon as you wake up, it helps you remember them more" I said, even though I didn't believe my own words.

"Have YOU tried dream journals? I can't even remember my dreams by the time I wake up." Elliot replied.

"Err, no I don't use them, but I read somewhere that it helps. Anyway, it's not like dreams are important. If anything they just distract you from work and stuff." I tried to console him.

"I know that, but still, I'm curious. I just want to know what it's like to remember your dreams." said Elliot.