Darkness. That’s all that’s around me.

My mind is drifting. Drifting through the darkness.

I haven’t died yet. I can feel it.

Is this a side effect of my skill? Am I on the line between life and death?

My thoughts continue to drift. They feel slow. Almost impossibly slow.

My thoughts blurr.

In my mind, another version of me appears. It’s me from my past life.

“That was dumb of you,” They comment “Safety should have at least been taken into account. There wasn’t any reasonable reason for you to grieve without protection.”

…No. To me, something just doesn’t seem right about that. Mourning for someone should be only with the people actually mourning for the person, at the very most.

It’s preferred to be kept private, I think.

I just need to be stronger.

The me from my past life sighs. “I suppose that may be the case for… You? Me? Us? Us. Yea, us. I haven’t experienced the death of many others in my own life, so it isn't like I would know.”

Well, before this world, I didn’t experience the death of anyone close to me, not just not many.

The drifting of my mind continues.

The me from my past life circles around me as it floats.

Is this my personality splitting, maybe?

Did it split long ago?

There’s a long silence.

My mind drifts to Betha and Rira.

I need to live so that I can be sure they are ‘sent off’ properly. The culture of the Lithari kingdom dictates that people are buried, along with a token.

A burial token, which is to act as a lord’s approval or disapproval towards the buried person.

The lord of the deceased is the one who chooses the token. Generally, the token is made of wood, and the lord rates the deceased based on how valuable they were to the lord. The rating is between -100 and 100, and engraved on the wood.

For a lord, the nobles above them will choose, and for Rulers, the nobles of count and up will collectively say how good of a ruler they are.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

However, unless the deceased was important to the noble or lord themselves, the token’s rating will be decided by an official who is aware of how the lord thinks.

The rating is important in the culture of the Lithari kingdom, since, similar to many religions from Earth, the dead are judged and placed accordingly by a higher entity.

Since, unlike on Earth, those in the Lithari Kingdom's cultural region don’t believe that this higher entity has enough time for every single deceased person to be judged with great care.

Instead it’s generally believed that they take a quick look through their life and take a look at the token. If the token’s rating isn’t something they think to be unreasonable, they just go with the token’s rating.

It’s exceedingly normal for a deceased to be given a rating of 0. It’s the average. The average for commoners, and below, are actually generally lower than 0, so that the average for nobles and royals can be higher.

Servants to the lord normally get a rating between 5 and 10, which Betha and Rira are, technically.

If I could give them ratings of 100, I would, I wish the best for them, but if the token is too unreasonable, it’s opinion is ignored.

Actually, anything above 20 wouldn’t be very reasonable…

As such, I’ll put a rating of 20 on the coin.

I sigh.

It feels so wrong, rating another person’s life, even if I’m not really rating it, so much as giving them the highest score that I reasonably can.

I have to rate it though. It’ll probably end up between 5 and 10 if not.

…I used to be an atheist… I’m not anymore. This world has magic. It has evidence.

Then again, I still don’t pray to deities. I acknowledge that they exist.

The world around me starts to speed up again.

Have I died and am being reborn? Or am I waking up?

The me from my previous life sighs. “Well then, farewell for now, I’ll be back eventually. Maybe in your dreams, maybe next time you lose consciousness in a similar fashion.”

They disappear into the darkness.

My consciousness slowly returns.

----------------------------------------

My eyes open. The sunlight’s streaming down on me.

I sit up.

My stomach hurts an incredible amount, and I feel rather pale, but I’m alive, at least.

The man said he killed the lady healer? Albert and her were the only ones with medical knowledge, so that means he healed me…

I decide to keep an eye on him. He seems to be quite talented… that, or it’s just my newfound bias from having my life probably saved by him.

I sit down again. I’m feeling kinda dizzy.

…The dizziness reminds me of my situation from before I died.

It’s not something I want to be reminded of…

It’s pretty miserable, not being able to get up often, unless you want to throw up.

It wasn’t just dizziness that my sickness brought.

I threw up regularly as if it was on a schedule.

I coughed up blood somewhat often.

My stomach never stopped hurting.

And there was a lot of diarrhea…

I sigh.

I really hope I don’t end up in the same situation.

It’ll be worse without any internet.

I’ve been forced to learn how to handle some boredom, but I still really hate being bored.

A wave of pain feels like it comes from my heart. It’s not a physical pain. It’s emotional.

Betha and Rira are gone…

What am I going to do without them?

I shut my eyes again. I’m still sleepy since I haven’t really woken up yet.

It’s better to sleep, so I can avoid the stomach pain, avoid the emotional pain.

…I’m sure Bedo will take care of it properly.