Hi.

I am/was Samuel, most people just call me Sam and I decided that death is pretty boring.

 It didn’t take long for me figure that one out. There is just so little one can do. I had my life flash past me five times already and I really didn’t want to make it a six. Not like I could do anything else than ask myself if I returned the book, I borrowed back in 7th grade. Or was it 8th?

I know it doesn’t make a difference if I remember. Trying to picture Ms. Wesley’s face smiling at me when I returned the book. But even that proved to be a challenge as I can’t imagine her without her constant frown she always had. Or at least when she was talking to me. Not like she was the only one though. I probably just kept it.

I know you must have many question guys and I am happy to announce that I can safely answer none of them. Instead let’s talk about my favourite shows and analyse them. I bet that can entertain me for a while. Like 2 hours.

“Who are you talking to?”

Just the friendly voices in my head. I don’t really talk to the rude ones. They aren’t really good for my mojo.

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“Interesting.”

I try to be. Are you part of my psyche which is slowly degenerating because I spend millennia with no human senses and ghosts of the past are continuously haunting me, like the time I tried fake slipping on a banana peels in front of my friends and actually slipped and cried? And why do you get quotation marks?

“Because I, unlike you, am capable of speech and not just a figment of conscious. You died Samuel. Five minutes ago.”

‘You died Samuel,’ the self-important voice said.

Look I can do it too. Kind of. No reason to act so haughty.

“Samuel I am tasked with your reincarnation. It would be wise of you to watch your tongue.”

Now who is rude? Plus, I have neither eyes nor tongue almighty speech bubble. That’s the reason why I don’t tend to talk to voices like you.

*sigh*

“Samuel, I am but one of many gods. My role here is to choose your next plane of existence. I have looked at your past life and past passions. You can see this as an Interview, as we are trying to find your next position.”

You get asterisks too? That’s so cool! Can I do that too?

“I used them to as your lack of senses doesn’t allow for you to pick up social cues. I thought humanizing myself would make it easier for us to exchange information considering your future life. If that is everything, lets talk about your goals. What do you want to accomplish in your next life Samuel?”

😊

You can use emojis too? I wish I could do that.

“Sure”

Narrator Class gained

And that’s how I got reincarnated.