I can’t take this anymore.
Three hours later, as Jordan’s gift keeps her going while she carries Princess Eric’s weapons, armor, and bag in addition to her own, Lexi thinks an eternity of lingering consciousness is starting to sound like heaven.
“Eek!”
That’s the fifty-seventh time.
Sobbing, Eric kneels on the ground and waits for someone to help him up.
And...there goes more of his clothes too.
Both the redhead’s and Ray’s clothing have been ripping strategically, akin to fan-service shots in many comics and animations. It’s driving Lexi mad because she really doesn’t want to see all that skin on two usually deadly men that she regards as the big brothers she’s never had. While boob windows are fine since many ads featured shirtless men back home, the way their pants are ripping so artfully means Lexi would soon see more of the two than she’d ever wanted to.
As the giant knight helps his weeping commander up while shouting about how they have to become stronger to “become the greatest warriors in the world and defeat all evil”, Vena continues catwalking along sullenly, hands in pockets as her cloak flutters dramatically in the wind.
Someone save me.
When red lights appear, Lexi doesn’t even bother asking her companions to fight alongside her. She’s tried and failed enough times by now.
Ray once again becomes a pinball, plot armor keeping him safe except for a select few scratches and more tears on clothing. There hadn’t been a dialogue option to tell the tall man to put his actual armor back on earlier, after he’d started stripping it off and declaring it cowardly for someone who’s destined to save the world.
Akara’s black flames are a godsend, especially when using the feature doesn’t consume any of Lexi’s MP. The system is being stingy when it comes to offering Lexi the option to consume recovery potions, so she has to space out skill usage as much as possible.
I’m uphill, and Ray’s got plot armor. Might as well cause a landslide.
It works perfectly, but then Ray’s top completely rips in the deluge so he’s now half-naked while his trousers don’t look like they’ll survive another battle.
I hate my life.
He’s scarred all over, as expected, and has the kinds of muscles most guys back home would need to take copious drugs to achieve. Lexi averts her eyes as the currently boisterous knight bounds back to them, looking at the system screen and wishing sunrise would come sooner.
Choose your next move. Ask companions to take a rest. Force companions to take a rest. Take a rest yourself. Drink an MP recovery potion and keep walking. [https://i.imgur.com/4P8XMru.png]
Though Lexi’s exhausted, Eric had nagged her several times before to never to linger near scenes of destruction or battle, since the noises and smells would attract other creatures to their location. Gritting her teeth, Lexi chooses to keep going as she sheathes Akara and adjusts the heavy bags she’s carrying. Pulling a recovery potion out of her pack, she tilts her head back to drink and continues walking.
“Eek!”
Fifty-eight.
Two hours and another seventeen tripping-over-nothing incidents later, Lexi wants to kill herself. Up ahead are a group of Holy Knights who’re clearly affected by Blue Moon, and she has no idea what nonsense they’ll be up to.
> ”They’re useless at best.”
Eric had said that before, snorting derisively as he spat insult after insult about the religious warriors.
Who wants to bet I’ll get to witness first hand this lot at their worst?
“Halt! Who goes there?”
Choose your response. I’m a player and this is my party. We’re just a group of adventurers. Someone who’ll make you cry. None of your damn business. [https://i.imgur.com/FEOk8zF.png]
GOD.
Her crystal eyes clearly indicate she’s not from Terra, so option two is out. While she sometimes chose snarky dialogues in games back home, Lexi can’t risk battle with high level warriors when her companions are nothing but a pain at the moment.
Option one.
“I’m a player and this is my party.”
“A player?” The Holy Knight Captain is a whopping level 63, which means Lexi really can’t afford to piss him off right now. “The gods have heard our prayers! Fair player, we beseech you, some of our legion have been taken captive by foul creatures against which our weapons are ineffective. Save our brothers, and we shall grant you a token of Holy Favor.”
Seriously? A side quest now?
Choose your response. I’d be honored to help. I’m not sure if I can... Do I look like a charity to you? Maybe if you lot weren’t so pathetic... [https://i.imgur.com/Xdh7Dsb.png]
Aghhhhh.
“Of course we’ll help!” SHUT UP, RAY. “It’s the right thing to do, and proof that the gods want us to vanquish all evil in this cruel world!” FOR GOD’S SAKE, SHUT UP!
“Thank you, noble player and party!” Lexi wishes the system would give her the option to bang her head on the nearest wall, repeatedly. “Our brothers were dragged to that forest yonder by harpies, and are in dire need of rescue.”
Harpies? I hate my life.
> ”They’re only Tier 2 monsters, but a Terran knight would need to be at least level 35 in player terms to beat a low level one in a fight.”
She’s level 16, which means Lexi has absolutely no hope of winning given her overpowered companions are now nothing but baggage.
What did the book Jordan give me say about those damn bird-women? They fly and snatch food and people, and the only way to beat them is by hacking their heads off..? Fan-fucking-tastic.
Sighing, Lexi nods and trudges after Ray as the system instructs, wishing she’d at least been given a gathering side quest instead of a hunting one.
Akara, you’re my only hope. I need you to fly a lot while I call on Flow and Bend.
The dagger seems to pulse at her hip, no doubt thrilled at the prospect of drinking harpy blood.
It’s a scraggly forest that reeks despite her mask, eerie blue moonlight making everything look more otherworldly than it really is. Edgy Vena is still acting like the world is her catwalk, strutting sulkily and silently, while Princess Eric wrings his hands and glances about fearfully.
Ray of course makes sure the whole world knows they’re coming.
“Hey, evil monsters! How dare you hurt the innocent! I will defeat you in the name of JUSTICE!”
Someone kill me now.
“W...why do we have to f...fight?” Lexi doesn’t even need to look to know tears are falling from Eric’s brown eyes. “Maybe they just want a hug?”
If we make it past Blue Moon, I’m telling you everything that happened in detail.
For some reason, despite the ruckus Ray is making no monsters come looking for them. As they walk, Lexi picks up some odd sounds in between Ray’s yells and Eric’s whines, so she follows her ears until they peek around a large boulder and get a clear view.
Why can’t my Luck stat kick in when I need it to? I was really hoping they’d just be dead instead of THIS.
When the Holy Knight Captain had asked her to rescue his men, she’d been expecting to find the Holy Knights dead and devoured. Along the way, the sounds had reminded her of the porn an ex enjoyed watching, and the scene before her confirms her suspicions: a different kind of ‘feasting’ is going on.
Lexi desperately wants to wash her eyes out.
I don’t need to see this shit! System!
Choose your next move. Attack the harpies. Tell your companions to attack the harpies. Run away. Join the orgy. [https://i.imgur.com/ZSQ4e66.png]
There’s only one real option here. I can’t ambush them with Flow and Bend without hurting the Knights, so let’s r...OH GOD NO!
Ray’s already dashed in yowling about honor and whatnot, flying into a tree when a harpy casually swipes him away. Eric is freaking out at the “obscene perversions” and screaming about “purity”, while Vena has leapt onto a tree branch to pose once again.
No such thing as a born again virgin, Eric.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.
Unsheathing Akara, Lexi grits her teeth and steps around the boulder, mind racing as she tries to find a way out of the situation.
Is this how it ends?
“A player!” Their voices sound like the crackle of lightning and booming of thunder. “A player has come!”
Akara, if I die here, consume my body completely with your black flames so nothing remains. I’d rather the momentary agony of being burned to having them eat me or worse.
Her dagger pulses, and Lexi smiles grimly at the ugliest women she’s ever seen while determinedly ignoring the moans and pants of naked Holy Knights.
No wonder Eric said they’re useless.
“Play with us, player!” HELL NO. “Play with us!”
Choose your next move. Attack the harpies. Play with the harpies. Run away. Join the orgy. [https://i.imgur.com/VA2pLL5.png]
Huh? ‘Play’ is for something else, not sex? Alright then, let’s try it.
“Sure, I’ll play with you.”
When the harpies cheer, their sagging breasts remind her of oversized bull scrotums.
“We will give you this if you win!” Sight tells her it’s a bottle of level 69 aphrodisiac, which explains why the level 15 to 26 Holy Knights couldn’t resist. “And we will eat you if you lose!”
I figured as much.
“I will ask the first question!” The first harpy from the left is bouncing with the thrusts of the Holy Knight beneath her. “If you answer incorrectly, I will strike you with lightning!”
What the hell?! What’s going...oh you’ve GOT to be kidding me.
What is the best way to gain power? Run 10km and do 100 sit ups, 100 push ups, and 100 squats daily. Have friends. Die a tragic death and be reborn / regress. Be granted abilities by a ‘system’. [https://i.imgur.com/PCBpE4e.png]
So it’s a quiz, and uses tropes. But is this the system’s way of telling me something as well? The last two options in particular look like it is.
More importantly, what the hell is the right answer? If this were a shōnen comic I’d choose option two, if it were one of those ‘awakeners go to dungeons’ thing I’d choose option one. But this is Terra, and it’s Blue Moon now which means everything’s gone tits up.
“You test my patience!” The harpy seems to be calling forth lightning, and Lexi hurriedly takes a stab at the ridiculous game. Option four!
“The player answered correctly!” Three harpies cackle at the visible anger and disappointment of harpy one, and Lexi breathes a sigh of relief.
It might just be a coincidence. Let’s take a look at the next questions to see if the system’s trying to tell me something. Though I don’t know why it can’t just come right out and say it, not like it’s ever given a shit about my feelings.
“I will ask the second question!” This harpy is being plowed quite aggressively from behind by a Holy Knight, and Lexi does her best to focus on a terrifying face instead of the copulation going on.
What is the greatest power one can have? Power to destroy continents. Power of friendship. Power over life and death. Power to change worlds. [https://i.imgur.com/y1HRe32.png]
Thank God Ray’s currently passed out and isn’t the one playing this game. If we go by the earlier question, then I’ll choose option four.
“The player wins another round!” Two harpies cheer as the first two questioners shriek.
That proves it. The system’s definitely telling me something. But what?
“I am next!”
What is the first thing one must do when they arrive in another world? Organize one’s thoughts by writing down everything one remembers. Make friends. Learn about the new world. Call on the system. [https://i.imgur.com/tG4XvfE.png]
Option four. You’re missing the “I must do whatever I can to make sure the plot doesn’t change even if it’s obviously changing” and "fangirl over my favorite characters", by the way. More importantly: what the hell are you trying to tell me, you crazy system?
Now there’s only one harpy left in what Lexi assumes is a four-round quiz, and she turns to face the winged woman who looks like she’s thoroughly enjoying the tongues of two Holy Knights.
What is the best ending for one who’s brought to another world? Becoming the most powerful person in their new world. Living happily ever after in their new world. Returning to their original world. Being erased from existence completely. [https://i.imgur.com/xEYXSkZ.png]
WHAT?!
Hastily rereading the options, Lexi’s mind races alongside her heart rate.
It’s always been option four until now, but...SCREW YOU, you stupid system! You’re telling me to just DIE, aren’t you? Because there’s nothing I can do without the powers you give me?! Is that the point of this stupid quiz?
“You test my patience!” As this harpy shrieks and booms, Lexi screams in her head once more before choosing option four.
“The player has won!” When they flap their wings, gusts of foul smelling wind hit Lexi and she holds her breath under her mask. If it’s this bad with a mask on... “We will give you this as promised, player!”
Choose your next move. Accept the aphrodisiac. Ask for the Holy Knights instead. Take the aphrodisiac and attack the harpies. Ask to play another round. [https://i.imgur.com/eXrZ39q.png]
I’m not playing anymore of those stupid quizzes. Option two.
“You want our toys?!” For God’s sake, stop flapping your wings. “We fought for them! We played a game with them! They are ours!” Do you have to scream all the time? “If you take these toys, we will take yours!”
’Mine’? ...oh shit.
Ray’s woken up now and is rushing over yelling, while Eric is peeking breathlessly from between his fingers.
“OoowoaAAAHHH! How DARE you call humans ‘toys’?! I smite you in the name of Jus...!” And there goes more of his clothes.
A shriek has Lexi tensing and turning as much as she can, and she wants to scream when she sees that a harpy has grabbed Eric and is dragging him towards the fornicating bunch.
“N...no! Let me go!” His wriggling just rips more of his clothes. “You can’t do this!” When has that ever worked?
System!
Choose your next move. Attack the harpies. Take the aphrodisiac. Run away. Join the orgy. [https://i.imgur.com/BYVSNEv.png]
Does this mean fighting was the only option from the start? Screw it, I’ll take option one. Akara, I’m counting on you.
As soon as Lexi flings her dagger, which coats itself in black flames as it reaches a level 48 harpy, she recalls an old story she’d once heard.
Harpies can be beaten if you drown them or chase them away with strong winds. Activate Flow: factor winds that separate the harpies from Eric and the Holy Knights. Now activate Bend.
The winds Lexi calls forth cause Eric and the Holy Knights to be blown into trees and the ground, but it works to isolate the harpies.
I only have one Bend left. Why is this stupid skill so pricey?
Flinging the legendary weapon once more, Lexi wants to cheer when harpies immediately take flight screeching. As they zoom towards her, she hastily calls on Bend and prays her Luck holds.
Bend success rate: 100% [https://i.imgur.com/Il83SYD.png]
YES!!!
This time the wind is more akin to a hurricane, as it blasts monsters and trees violently while the harpies’ last ditch attempts to attack Lexi crackle pitifully.
System, I need to take another MP potion. Don’t be a dick.
Choose your next move. Give the Holy Knights status ailment removal potions. Let the Holy Knights have their way with Eric and Rayleigh. Leave on your own. Join the orgy. [https://i.imgur.com/GFUcOf4.png]
You’re the WORST. Option one.
It’s hard work getting the lust-crazed men to drink, especially when Eric and Ray are barely covered by scraps of their expensive clothes. Fortunately, Ray is still good for something, and he pummels the Knights when they try to tear off Lexi’s and Eric’s outfits.
“Our savior! Thank you for rescuing us from the clutches of those vile beasts!”
Did that aphrodisiac also come with some sort of memory alteration? Well, none of my business. Back to the Holy Knight Captain then.
Blinking, Lexi stares at the screen before her.
Choose your next move. Put the aphrodisiac in your pouch before returning to the Holy Knight Captain. Leave the aphrodisiac here and return to the Holy Knight Captain. Feed the aphrodisiac to Eric and Rayleigh. Leave on your own. [https://i.imgur.com/co9ANlE.png]
Option one, you piece of shit.
As soon as the group reaches the hand-wringing Holy Knight Captain, he deafens her with his shouts.
“Noble player! You have returned our brothers to us! Please accept this token of Holy Favor, and know that we are ever in your debt!” You could’ve just said it normally. Why’d you have to yell right in my face?
Choose your response. I’m glad to be of aid. It wasn’t much... Shut up, loser. Wait till you hear what your brothers were up to... [https://i.imgur.com/Q7ze22R.png]
Ugh. Option one.
“I’m glad to be of aid.” The Captain just deafens her once again. Lexi’s ears are still ringing by the time they take their leave and continue walking.
“We’re heroes! The gods will favor us even more! Now let’s save the world!”
Just two and a half hours to sunrise.
----------------------------------------
She can see it in the distance - the first hints of sunlight peeking over the horizon as the terrifying Blue Moon sinks lower - but right now Lexi has bigger things to deal with.
Akara!
Her blade flies true even as Lexi spins and lashes out with a kick, screaming internally from the impact. The system hadn’t allowed her to drink an MP recovery potion after battles with groups of orcs, goblins, sand snakes, and nut bears, which means Lexi is now fighting eleven centaurs with just her dagger and pathetic combat skills.
Just a bit more, just hang on a bit more...
AGHH! That hurts!
A strike sends her flying, and she can tell from the pain that her right forearm is broken even before she flattens grass and slams into the ground hard.
FUCK!!! Something else broke, I can’t...
Self preservation makes her force teary crystal eyes open, then Lexi somehow throws herself to the side - screaming in agony internally - as hooves slam into the flattened grass where she’d been lying a moment ago.
These things are twelve feet tall, have thick skin, and move FAST. I...
Akara erupts through the chest of the roaring centaur readying another strike, and Lexi thanks the blade mentally even as she flings it once more with her one good hand and struggles to stand.
Just a few more minutes. I just need to survive a few more minutes.
Vena is sulking in the distance, while Eric whimpers on his knees uphill. Ray is somewhere in the tall grass, after being sent flying by the centaurs much earlier.
System!
It’s silent, as it always is during battle, and Lexi grits her teeth while she tries to hobble back painfully and hide in the vegetation.
Luck kicks in when she stumbles and a spear flies narrowly over her head.
Hide. I need to hide. I can’t...
Akara suddenly reaches her hand once more, and Lexi throws the blade hastily at the centaur closest to her. Given the dry grass all around, she can’t activate Akara’s black flames without risking being burned to death herself, making this battle much harder.
The fact that she can’t cry out when an arrow pierces through her right shoulder tells Lexi that Blue Moon is still in effect.
PLEASE. Please let the sun rise faster, I can’t fight these things on my own, I...
Her injuries and inability to protect herself remind Lexi of the battle against the shapeshifters, and though her rebellious nature hates the fact that she’s so weak the pain overtaking her mind whispers about how pathetic she is, how there’s no point trying to struggle anymore, how nice it’ll be to just sleep...
AGHHH!!!
A centaur has caught up and kicked her hard, and as soon as Lexi lands face first in sandy soil amongst the crowns of grass it brings vicious hooves down and breaks her left leg.
NO...!
Lying on her front, struggling to breathe through the pain that assails her from every fiber of her being, Lexi wishes once more for a chance to see her father again as she braces for the final blow.
I’m sorry, daddy. I...
“LEXI!”
...Eric...?
A head lands right next to her as she’s carefully turned over.
Eric. You’re back.
“Drink!” Verbose as ever. He shoves a bottle of healing potion in her mouth, holding her up as Ray and Vena easily destroy the remaining centaurs.
“Bite.” Eric doesn’t even give her a chance to respond before bunching and shoving her cloak into her mouth, then Lexi is screaming into the makeshift gag as the redhead sets her broken arm.
I hate you!!!
“My lady!”
Ray’s look of horror grows as he takes in the discarded bottle and his Commander’s actions, green eyes pained as the giant knight rushes to hold Lexi down while Eric sets her broken leg.
Dimly Lexi can see Vena crying as the half-elf lingers nearby, but the exhaustion and pain are catching up and a haze is filling her mind.
Safe. It’s safe now. I’m safe now.
“Lexi.” Eric’s brown eyes look a little watery, but maybe that’s because her vision is blurry. “You did it. You kept us safe till sunrise.”
I know.
Something on her face makes him smirk a little, before he glances questioningly down at himself and then at Ray, who’s expertly splinting Lexi’s arm and leg even as the Commander carefully wraps her ribs. The men are basically naked now, cloth barely covering their reproductive organs, and Lexi wonders once again if the system had been trying to tell her something during the harpy quiz.
“Anything we should know?”
While memories of the hell she’d silently endured flood her mind, Lexi feels the redhead gently lift her up, tucking her head into the crook of a strong neck as Vena darts off to find their horses. Ray has already strapped on his armor, and is now carrying all the bags Lexi had dropped earlier.
Coughing weakly, she smiles.
“Just the usual.”
----------------------------------------
CHAPTER 34 END