Kiyoshi shows up at my door the next day. He’s no longer wearing his barrister outfit with the kawaii boba cups on. Instead, are slim fit jeans and a plain white T-shirt. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I thought his clothes would reflect the lazy pinks and yellows deco in his boba shop. I imagine him wearing those colors and realize that the jeans and t-shirt are fine as they are.
“I’m surprised you showed,” I say, stuffing my hands in the pockets before realizing that there are no pockets in this skirt. Disguising it as me smoothing the leather down fails. Miserably. He shrugs a little.
“When I say I do it, I do it,” he says. I’m so lucky that he turned out so nice. Picking a random stranger could’ve gone badly wrong but, I think I hit the jackpot- or at least close. Valerie arrives shortly after.
“Oh,” I say when Sheena walks in behind her.
“Oh what?” she asks.
“Nothing,” I say but I hope it’s obvious that it’s not. Valerie compliments my skirt and I compliment her extremely complicated Medusa style braid crown. The usual. I don’t compliment Sheena and she doesn’t back. The usual.
“Let’s go!” Valerie says. “But first, let's make a pact. No fighting. From now on, we’re a team, whether we make the show or not.” She places her hand in the middle and Kiyoshi and I put our hands on too. Valerie gives her a pleading look. Sheena rolls her eyes and places hers on top.
*************************
The audition room smells like a hospital. Clean and white. We sit down on the last remaining three maroon pleather seats leaving Kiyoshi to squat on the floor.
“It’s ok. I can sit there,” Valerie says but Kiyoshi puts out his hand. We watch in silence as other people get called in.
“They’re not in there for very long, are they?” I ask. Most people walk straight out of the building after they’re sent out. Soon, the waiting room is empty except for us but even then, Kiyoshi stays on the floor.
“Next,” says a man and we walk into the audition room. “Ok. We’re going to film your audition, starting in 5, 4, 3.” he mouths 2 and one.
“Is this going on the show?” asks Sheena. The man screams ‘cut’ a little louder than needed. He puts his hand on his forehead.
“Why.” It’s not a question. “Why would you mention the show while I’m filming you? Are you stupid. I’m sorry mate, but if you don’t understand the rules of TV show making, then walk out of that door right now.” Sheena doesn’t say anything after that. The man counts down again. “Right, why are you auditioning?” he asks. There’s an awkward silence of us wondering who he’s talking to. I nudge Valerie.
“I’m coming on the show because Vicki roped me into it,” she says, gesturing to me. The man walks over to the wall and leans his head against it for a moment. Sheena laughs a little and whispers, “Go on Dobby.” He returns a few seconds later.
“You,” he says, pointing to Kiyoshi. “BTS boy.”
“Actually, I’m from Japan, not South Korea,” he says.
The auditioner rolls his eyes. He looks so over it already. “Whatever. Japan, Korea, China. Same thing.”
Kiyoshi looks slightly offended but doesn’t say anything about it. “I came this show because kind Victoria ask me to.”
“Can I ask you to say that again, but say it properly. I came to this show because the kind Victoria asked me to,” the man says, his voice getting louder by the minute. Kiyoshi says what he tells him to. I make a motion to the camera men to focus on me after smoothing out my hair a bit with my hands. “All my life, I’ve been following others, so much so that I only make decisions based on what people want me to do. A year ago, I was raped at a bar. It was the worst mistake of my life and, going on this show- it’s all me. I didn’t make this decision for a boy or a friend or my parents. Just for me, and,” I blink a few times so make my eyes wet with salt-water, “and I need it. It was always my dream to be an actress and for a long time, I gave it up because my mom was always telling me to get a real job but I’ve realized that being perfect- it just isn’t possible. The only thing I can really be is me.”
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
The auditioner claps. “Victoria, is it? That was brilliant. Just,” he does a chef’s kiss and encourages- forcefully- the cameramen to drop the equipment and clap to. They do it but with a lot of uncertainty. “Ok. You,” he points to Sheena in the same fashion in which he pointed to Kiyoshi, “sexy blonde girl. Why did you come here? Please, for the love of MAFSA, don’t tell the truth.”
“Don’t call me that,” Sheena says. “My name is Sheena.” The audition man gives her the same look he gave Kiyoshi when he corrected him about his country. Boredom. I’m beginning to realize how formulaic these interviews must be. “I’ll call you by your name once you give me a decent thing to play with.” I really can’t tell whether he means that in another way or if I’m just being dirty minded. He paces the small room for a while before his eyes land on me, more specifically, my breasts. “Why don’t we get Vicki to come up with backstories for you three?”
“Um. We could say that Sheena was cheated on by her ex and-”
Sheena cuts me off. “Why am I getting cheated on? That’s not fair.”
“It’s fine. It’s just a made-up backstory,” I say. “Anyway, so she-”
“Can I fuck the girl he cheated on me with? As revenge?” she asks. “And then put dynomites in his car, and set them off while he’s driving, murdering him and his new girlfriend. Two bitches, one bomb.” she blows the top of a finger gun. The auditor looks horrified and makes a cross motion with his hands to the cameramen. Kiyoshi puts a hand on Sheena’s shoulder to calm her down but she shrugs it off, maybe even less calm. “You know what? Fuck the cheating thing. No man’s going to cheat when he’s dating me. He knows the consequences.” Me and the man shake our heads in unison. Why did Valerie bring her along?
Kiyoshi’s black shadow glides across the white walls. “My family come from Japan long, long time ago. We start boba shop in New York. I come on show to tell people of my family boba shop,” he says. The auditor throws his thin framed glasses on the floor and jumps up and down on them, lines of sweat racing down his face.
“Hey, glasses are expensive! Don’t break them!” Valerie says. He stops, icicles scattered across the floor and the bent lines of metal snapped.
“This whole goddamn show was expensive!” he tells us. I can’t tell if he’s shouting or just talking angrily. “And it’s being broken. Like my marriage, like the whole goddamn fucking world! Not one, not one!” I can tell the second ‘not one’ was definitely shouted, “single goddam audition was good. Except for two which were ok, but whatever! None of these groups have any dynamic. They’re all just like yours; they come in thinking ‘oh yes. I’m going to be a star’ Well you know what? There’s a price to pay for fame and fortune and quite frankly, they don’t have the money to pay that price. Now get out of my fucking sight.” He points to the door and the cameramen start packing up their equipment, pulling the spider-like tripod legs together and placing them carefully in cases. The auditor shows no such care as he throws some cameras at the cameramen in an effort to hurry them up. Kiyoshi and Valerie head and I follow them. I’m not angry with them. I’m not. As we swing the doors open and let the New York air into our lungs, Kiyoshi shakes our hands.
“Try best is all matters,” he says. Valerie nods. I feel my blood boil a little, and then a little more until my blood cells are shooting round my body making me see red.
“Bullshit!” I say. “He said that only two auditions were ok. That means we had a shot and you blew it! I could’ve gotten in if only I hadn’t gone with a bunch of losers, one of which can't even speak fucking english.” Kiyoshi takes a step back and Valerie takes one forward.
“Vicki, like Kiyoshi said, we tried our best,” she says. No you didn’t. No you absolutely did not. “Listen to-”
“No,” I say, jabbing a finger at Valerie. “You listen. I could’ve gotten in and you messed it up. My whole fucking career was on the line.” Sheena comes jogging down to the door, the metallic ringing of the steps echoing throughout the building and onto the street below.
“Little fucker needs therapy,” she says, slinging her bag on one shoulder and tucking her short hair behind her ears. “He was begging on the floor by the end and was feeding him all this shit and he was eating it off the floor like a bitch.” She stops to read our faces. “Vicki, say sorry to Kiyoshi and Val. Anyway, so I was like ‘ayo, I think you should let me on this show cos blah blah blah’ and he was like ‘um ok’. I think he was on something strong and you know what boys are like when they’re on something strong.” Kiyoshi looks lost at this point and quite honestly, so am I. It’s only when Valerie starts jumping and clapping that I realize what Sheena has somehow managed to pull off.