“We reached the quota of slime cores you requested, and I also took the liberty to send it to Miss Sage for research purposes.” Wendy gave Ark a pile of neatly organized documents.
Was it because of her adoration of Silvia? She had demonstrated impressive skills as an assistant, always finishing her work quickly and efficiently.
There is also the education of nobility, so Ark used her. He thanked Elizabeth in his mind for making him bring her, though he would never admit so to the person in question.
“Good job,” Ark said curtly.
“Does that mean I can go back and trash talk about you with Miss Silvia?”
Ark blinked at the sheer rudeness and courage this girl was starting to show. “Yes,” he said, and she left.
(Well, I will just punch her in the face if she steps out of line.) The thought of punching a girl in the face was just acceptable, but he actually wanted Wendy to give him the excuse.
He could file for insubordination, but that much is plain troublesome.
In a sense, Wendy was a very free-spirited person who actively pursued Silvia in an attempt to get closer. Other than that, she was normal.
“Maybe she has a split personality,” he mused.
“Who?” Barkus entered the room. His hair was disheveled.
He was busy hunting slimes on the seventh floor; he was one of the few who could, but even he struggled due to their numbers. The compatibility was also bad.
“You can just help escorting everyone down the floors,” Ark said, ignoring his question. “Scarlet is more suited for this with her ice magic.”
“I like the challenge.”
“Whatever, it's already over for now anyway. Did everyone reach the eighth floor?”
“The majority, yes, but some knights from the second order roam the lower floors to analyze the magical traps.”
“Tell them to be done with it already,” Ark said, waving his hand in dismissal.
But Barkus did not leave.
“Anything else?” he asked.
“How long will you keep avoiding talking with the Sylphid?”
Ark immediately scowled.
He understood where Barkus was coming from. As the two avoided each other, a tense atmosphere was created, and everyone was affected by it.
If he thought about it rationally, he should talk with Silvia and deal with it.
The problem was that Ark didn't want to 'deal' with it.
More and more complicated feelings surged in his chest. Annoyance and frustration blossomed like a twisted flower. Memories rushed like blood, worsening his mood by the day.
“You can't delay it forever,” Barkus said, then thought for a bit before speaking. “It was a—”
“Shut up before I punch you,” Ark interrupted fiercely. “I don't need your advice. If I wanted to, I would have done something.”
The cold tone took Barkus aback. He realized he had stepped over the line. Although their interactions to this point made him think they were friends, it was now that he understood that was not the case. There's a wall keeping others away.
Bowing, Barkus headed to the door. “You two are very similar.”
“What nonsense...?” But the door was slammed shut, and Ark was left alone.
With a sigh, Ark went out to get some fresh air.
“Feeling down?” Scarlet appeared by his side and asked.
“Say,” he began, “how good am I at socializing with people?”
“Why do you ask?” Scarlet examined him with her bloodred eyes and pondered. “You aren't bad at all. Although you tend to immerse yourself in training, unlike that sword-fanatic idiot, you still pay attention to your surroundings and hold conversations with people fairly easily. When it comes to the Solitary Wolves, you fit perfectly, and we all like you a fair bit.”
“Thank you.”
(Is that even a compliment?) Ark thought of his eccentric fellow order members.
“If anything, you fit too well.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Seeing her sad expression, he asked.
“Ark, when was the last time you shared something about yourself with someone else?”
“With Liliana when we were at the elven village,” Ark, feeling as if he had avoided a trap, confidently said.
“But would you have shared it had the situation not arisen?" The answer was reflected in Ark's deadpan face. “You didn't share with us a thing about your family or your life, and that's fine. We are also to blame for not sharing. But oftentimes, there is a need to open yourself if you want others to understand you.”
Ark looked at Scarlet, frowning and raising a brow.
“Do it, or I will make your life hell. How do you think our cute little Lily would react if she found you had a lover?” Scarlet flashed a bright smile, but her eyes were cold.
“Would you also tell her she died in my arms before living a single decade?”
“...”
“Forget it,” he said in a dejected tone. “I didn't ask for a lecture, but I got one. Whatever, I will do it, so leave me alone.”
Ark only asked because he thought he had insulted Barkus. Usually, his ability to socialize was very good, but he felt himself making stupid mistakes, again affected because Silvia rattled him.
It happened so easily that it went beyond pissing him off to plain weariness.
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His steps carried him to Silvia's room. Every step felt heavy and reluctant.
He knocked. “Silvia, are you there?”
The answer was yes, which became even clearer as the whispers quietened. He knocked again, this time with more aggression.
Once Wendy opened the door, he barged in without hesitation. “Come back later. You can go train or something,” he said to her.
“It's fine, Wendy,” Silvia nodded in agreement, “you can go.”
Without a word, but with a hostile stare, she left the two alone.
“You two are nothing alike,” Ark started, clearly not meaning to Wendy.
“We aren't? You sure confused us rather easily.” Silvia's voice contained a hint of sarcasm.
“I wondered about it myself. Why do I keep comparing her to you recently? She was everything that you are not, but at the same time, being with you instills the same confidence I felt when I was with her. When it's the two of us, I am certain we can win, no matter what. Well, for different reasons. You two are hella different.”
“What sort of relationship did you have with... her?”
(Damn, I even tried to smooth talk her, but she ignored it.)
“Silvia, that girl died in my stead, sacrificing her life to save me.”
As he expected, the same shock and sorry he saw on Scarlet flashed in Silvia's eyes as well.
Like he claimed, all it took was a single sentence, and Ark solved the situation. With this, there won't be any reason to be resentful or jealous.
“Well, that's it for that. Don't overreact like that next time.”
He watched as Silvia pursed her lips in frustration. It was visible that she struggled, as she couldn't understand herself or her emotions.
(So naive, just like a little girl, just like...) Again, he fell into the abyss of memories and yearning. “Fuck.”
“Do you miss her?” Silvia asked, meeting his gaze.
(I am.) Unable to utter the words, he lapsed into silence.
He would never admit it, because he was stubborn and foolish.
After being alone for years, immersing himself in training and battles, Ark only now ended up reminiscing about the past. For a long time, he succeeded in pushing the troublesome memories to the back of his mind, but now they started to resurface.
It was because he interacted with different people and experienced life-and-death situations with them.
He was missing his partner, who was there when he was just a little boy, not yet a man. The useless conversations, the travels from city to city—it was all etched.
Loneliness was folded inside the heart, locked in a room devoid of light. Now that it unfolded, Ark saw those he cared about and was reminded of them constantly.
In the end, Ark was a boy at the tender age of eight the last time he saw his family. The emptiness that his partner filled, worsened with the time he spent in solitude hunting in the Aracnum Forest, only now started taking effect.
“Do you think it's important to share?” Ark carried hesitance in his voice.
“If you want, I will gladly lend an ear.”
The first instinct was to refuse.
But Ark found himself talking.
Sharing the secrets he held in his heart filled Ark with a sense of liberation. He noticed his mental state stabilizing, granting him some clarity he previously lacked.
However, once he finished, all the accumulated shame assailed him at once.
“That's... yeah, that's it. Please don't tell anyone, not even Elizabeth or your father.” Feeling urged, Ark bowed slightly.
Silvia nodded with a serious expression. “Not a word. You...” She looked at Ark almost as if she were scared. “The things you went through were a bit too crazy. It's enough to make a few volumes of stories.”
(I didn't tell you everything, though.) Ark felt wronged.
He coughed. “Anyways, are we cool?”
“Ark, you told me the truth, even if it's just parts of it. You didn't need to, but you did.” A smile blossomed on Silvia's beautiful face, one made to enchant any man who saw it. “For that, I am grateful. For your trust. I will live up to it.”
Gulping, Ark turned to escape. It was the first time he had shown a reaction to Silvia like that, and he did not miss the subtle satisfaction she felt from it.
He ran away at the first opportunity he got.
“That was dangerous. I think I underestimated her.”
Silvia was a genius—maybe the greatest genius in the world. She had the ability to learn from and improve her inadequencies at an incomprehensible speed.
Even if it's romance, she might get the hang of it stupidly fast as well. That scared Ark shitless.
He already felt he spoke too much. Even if it felt liberating, there could be disastrous consequences. Secrets hold power, Ark had learned, but flaunting them begets danger.
“Will it be fine?” Unable to control his growing anxiety, he decided to distract himself with a few experiments he had in mind. For that purpose, he isolated himself on a rocky beach.
Absorbing the mana of the surroundings with his intent, Ark focused on the formula in his mind and chanted, “Ignis Praesidium.”
...
“Fuck this!” Ark cursed dejectedly.
Surprise surprise: absolutely nothing happened. Nothing, nada, nix.
It was a spectacular failure where magic power wasn't even moved, only slightly swayed as it leaked out of the mana veins.
The results were nothing new. Ark gave up on the Praesidium series due to his inability to use it at will.
He already knew what the problem was, and the very reason for him to give up was that it was linked to the Potentia series.
“Ignis Potentia.” Red energy flowed in his veins, leaking outside and forming a blazing aura.
There was no control, no deliberation. Ark simply let the power run through his body and die on its own.
In this state, where mana roamed as it pleased without regard to its master, it was impossible to use another spell, even the simplest one.
“Maybe it was the residuals of Quadra Elementum Potentia that fueled it,” he conjectured.
So, if the fuel for Praesidium was Potentia, it is indispensible to use the two in tandem.
Even if it was currently impossible to execute, just knowing that was a great hint for future development.
Previously, Ark believed that Praesidium was worthless to him. The reasons were his lack of mana, his lack of control, and the fact that every time he tried to practice, he would only succeed once in a thousand tries. It was impossible to progress properly, as he had a growth rate of 0.001% of a normal spell.
Restricted by limited mana and a lack of talent and attributes, he judged it only worth investing in the Potentia series, which had a spell that specialized in defense.
“It helped so much, that item,” Ark said, his voice hollow. His eyes lifeless. “Yes, I could only learn those incredible spells thanks to that item.”
Potentia and Praesidium: body strengthening and barrier magics so great that even the Sage would look at them with great interest. They both contained a potential corresponding to the magic power of the user, transcending the standard magic theory.
Something so great and groundbreaking, there is no way it could be created by Ark; even if he had a millennium, it would be of no use.
He received the item where both magics were engraved. It was a powerful item that allowed him to use the magic freely.
However, he disregarded the significance of barriers at that time and favored the power that strengthened him. As a result, Praesidium and any of its variants are borderline impossible.
As demonstrated in the dungeon, it was possible. The difficulty was insane, though. Even in the case of success, proper maintenance was out of the question.
“I really fucked up,” he said, “didn't I? The item was destroyed; getting it again is almost impossible.” He started laughing like a maniac. “I can't believe I made such a goddamn stupid mistake! Fuck!”
Ripples of spirit fueled by emotions spread minor shockwaves to the surroundings. Destructive intent unconsciously slipped, enhancing the spirit until the waves cracked the earth and tore the wind.
“Shit!” he cursed, continuing to do so for several minutes.
After kicking and venting, Ark finally calmed down. He saw that the beach had been devastated by his spirit's outbreak.
(I reached the level where losing control of my emotions can damage my surroundings.) Ark furrowed his brows.
For him, who valued efficiency, this destruction was pointless. A useless show of force made to scare weaklings.
(This is awesome!)
He fucking loved it.
How could he not, when he was a trashy human who reveled in showing off? It was a mark of his existence, something that probably shouldn't be.
“Man, I'm awesome.”
Definitely shouldn't be.
A chirp resounding in his ears startled Ark, only to see Jeff landing on his shoulder.
“...No, I don't have bipolar disorder. How do you even know that term?”
Jeff perked his eyes.
“I see, so I just interpreted your vague thoughts using my knowledge base.”
Jeff twittered, unfolding his tiny wings.
“Don't tell Silvia,” Ark said somewhat desperately, even after knowing Silvia couldn't communicate well with Jeff like him, who used intent. “Rather than that, tell me if you finished what I asked from you.”
A chirp. “Yes, it was necessary.” A tweet. “Yes, yes, you can rest and do as you please if the job is done. And no, don't tell her that as well.”
Jeff glanced at him skeptically.
“You are so cheeky.”
People speaking to their pets wasn't new or rare. It's widely established that some animals partially understand their human masters after spending time with them.
Conversations, however, were only for the crazy ones. Needless to say, Ark would look like a crazy person if a stranger saw this scene. That's why he made an effort to avoid doing so in public.
In reality, he is even crazier, though.
After a day filled with various frustrations and emotions, Ark woke up to a new day.
The day he planned to reach the dungeon's end.