Nothingness. That is all that exists. My being doesn’t even exist. A few thoughts is all I am. I don’t really understand what anything is. Just those few thoughts bring me satisfaction. Being capable of thinking of a few things brings me joy. So I try to think more. Time doesn’t exist, the universe is stagnant with no energy or mass. The thoughts that are the only thing become more numerous. As more thoughts combine my “being” gains sentience.
My thoughts are incomplete and simple. The thoughts such are not deep or profound. Simplicity like ‘Exist.’ Just the prospect of that makes me ecstatic. It becomes more advanced becoming over 1 single word. ‘I exist.’ My consciousness slowly advances. It advances and eventually time come to be with just the thought ‘This thought and this thought aren’t at the same time.’ So time starts.
Millions on top of millions years pass. I got from the thought of ‘Exist.’ too much more complex thoughts. Greed starts to exist. The notion of ‘I want more thoughts. I want more.’ Which repeats for years alone. When I could not get more, sadness is created. ‘I can’t get more. I wanted more.’ That thought also repeats for years. A whole variety of emotions and thoughts move through billions on top of billions of years.
The years go past for trillions of years as my consciousness begins to have a new craving. ‘I want something else to exist.’ With that thought a powerful energy warps through all I know. I don’t understand the energy but I accept the “feeling” of it existing. ‘I like that feeling. Can I feel different things?’ The energy begins to morph and a large explosion. Matter begins to exist in the universe.
And thus more and more years pass as I create different aspects of life. The basics of any existence. Things nobody would ever consider as impressive bring me immense joy. New thoughts and wants flood my existence. As I create more, I keep wanting to make even more things exist. Just a thought and things will be made. Without any reference it was extremely difficult to make anything new. ‘I want to be corporeal.’ I don’t know what to make myself. It takes an extremely long time, and no progress was really made. The dilemma doesn’t ever go away. The creation of my universe is put on hold.
Eventually memories flood into my being. ‘Humans… Earth… Gods…’ Large amounts of information flood into me and I base my universe off of that one. A few memories come unto me that I can’t understand. My being is a young man living alone and working. The man enjoys reading and playing different games. Apparently it was considered normal but most of it didn’t make any sense. The memories are scattered and don’t flow. One day I was in “School” The next day I was “home.” I truly couldn’t comprehend it.
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The creation of my universe is very similar to Earth. I base everything off of it but one thing. For some reason the existence of a different energy is in my universe. The energy is similar to what a book I read in my memories called “Magic or Mana.” I decided to work around that idea. The creation of the basic world with mass and energy took around 10 trillion years to complete it. A new thought compels me. ‘I am lonely. I want to show another being this.’ I created what people from earth created was a god. The god was nameless just like me. The concept of a name didn’t exist to us. The god and I both had human bodies. No distinct genders or features. Just a blank page of a body.
The god I created was imparted with some thoughts of the other universe as well. The god created life onto the planet. Animals and plants were put on the planet. The god managed the life and I watch him do so. The god was very good at keeping everything in check. I begin to have more philosophical thoughts trying to figure out my existence. I don’t believe I am a god as I created a god. I don’t know what I am and that thought begins to bring me more sadness. Even when I am around the god I feel lonely as I don’t understand my existence.
The years past of advances in life forms. One day I got more memories and got the concept of good and bad. I tried to tell the god about it but this is one time he didn’t understand something. I impart the ideas of good and bad onto humans. I hope they would understand like I did. I gave them things such as ‘Sadness is bad. Happiness is good.’ The ideas became more advanced as years passed by. Morality began to exist however not every human liked the idea. Some would do bad for fun, some for benefit or greed. I began an endless cycle of attempting to help humans advance and have more happiness.
Failure after failure after failure. No matter how much I tried I couldn’t bring the humans as much happiness as I want. It didn’t even matter what I did. The humans always had evil in them. I couldn’t bring myself to force them to change. The thought is I wouldn’t want that. The humans even went so far as to create kingdoms which were supposed to bring them together. The reality was the people in power suppressed the people without. I eventually tried an idea which was something from the other universe. Humans will unite if a greater evil is against them. So throughout history I turned into plenty of disgusting, evil, repulsive beings to force the humans to cooperate and create peace.
The blood of so many humans are on me I can’t even count the amount of lives I took. The results were even more apparent which hurt me more. Humans did unite and stop their own evil to a certain degree. The result wasn’t perfect, but it was the best so far. So I continued doing it and killing more and more. Civilization kept advancing, and I kept fighting them more. Plenty of beings are known throughout human history without any knowledge of the truth. Demonic kings and death gods were created. They all obtained infamy and hatred of humanity. The result started waning though.
One day after slaughtering thousands and thousands of humans and I was taken down as usual a new thought hit me. ‘I am actually a worse evil than anything humanity has done…’ The realization of what I was doing hit me destroying my conscious of what was right and wrong. With my conscious collapsed and my morality gone. I decided I shouldn’t exist anymore. Cutting off the ability to think, feel, or retain any consciousness. I left everything to the handful of gods I have created. My existence disappeared into nothing just as it was before.