When we first met, Libel hardly spoke a word to me.

If I tried to talk to him, he'd quickly disappear somewhere, or he'd ignore me and keep reading his book. I wondered if perhaps he disliked me. But somehow, I felt that wasn't the case. Why was that, I wonder?

As we sat near the Fourfold Grove with the campfire before us, I found myself lost in these thoughts. It was evening now, and we were taking a break after finishing the meal we'd brought.

Afterwards, I tried various methods my teacher had taught me to communicate with the spirits. But nothing worked. I couldn't hear their voices, see their forms, or feel their presence on my skin.

If I had to say something, I felt a bit chilly. Was it just my imagination? Even though it was only early spring...

Libel was sitting across from me, seemingly dozing off a bit. I draped the blanket I'd brought over his shoulders and took out another for myself, wrapping it around me.

As I listened to the crackling of the campfire, my mind drifted back to when we first met.

***

It was about ten years ago, when Clara and I were still quite small. We moved from the facility we'd been in to a different place. I think it was a place rich in nature, with mountains nearby and horses and sheep within the facility grounds.

There were many children about our age in the facility, and a few adults. When the adults were busy, the older children would look after us younger ones.

Looking back now, I think none of the children had parents. After all, hardly anyone ever talked about their mum or dad.

The boy assigned to look after us was two years older than me. When the adults introduced him to us, he wouldn't meet our eyes. That hurt me a little... But more than that, I remember how terribly lonely he looked. His name was Libel.

Libel was very quiet. He'd only tell us things once, like where to find the dishes or how to make the beds. After that, he'd just watch silently from a distance.

I wasn't very good at things and often made mistakes. I'd drop plates while washing up (in the facility, the children did the cleaning up themselves), or I'd get stung by a bee during a forest walk and try to keep it secret until my left hand swelled up to twice its size. I was always getting into scrapes.

Even so, Libel would mostly just watch, never warning me beforehand or anything like that.

"I wonder if he dislikes us?" I once confided to Clara.

"Big sister, I think you're reading too much into it," she replied.

"Huh?"

"I mean, when he's teaching us something, he stares at us with this intense look on his face, and he's always muttering something under his breath."

Clara answered while practising her writing in her exercise book.

It's true, I would stare intently at everything Libel did. I think I used to repeat things he said quietly to myself several times so I wouldn't forget. But that's only natural, isn't it? I was just trying my best to remember...

"I don't like that auntie teacher. She's always nagging," Clara added.

The 'auntie teacher' was the adult in charge of guiding our daily lives, always ready with a lecture for the children. Once she started, it was hard to get her to stop, so I didn't like her much either. The writing practice Clara was doing now was actually something the 'auntie teacher' had told her to do. She'd scolded Clara for her messy handwriting.

When we first arrived at the facility, Clara and I often had to stay behind for extra lessons like this. Though really, it was usually because of Clara's mischief, and I was just there to keep her company. While waiting for Clara, I'd pass the time writing stories or singing songs.

When did Libel's attitude start to change? I think it must have been during the wild plant gathering. The facility regularly took us on nature walks, and this time the programme was to collect edible wild plants and herbs from the mountains.

It was a place with plants and animals rarely seen in this country. The adults had told us beforehand about the safe plants. They also told us to ask the older children if we weren't sure about something.

Clara and I, new to the facility, didn't know what we were doing, so we just followed Libel around, picking the same sorts of plants he did. Libel would occasionally glance back at us as he walked. When he did, I could see his brow was slightly furrowed. Perhaps he didn't like us following him.

A small incident occurred as afternoon approached. We were finishing up the plant gathering and reporting our harvests to the adults.

"Allium is a plant that looks a lot like chives, but you can't eat it. Didn't anyone tell you that?" It was the 'auntie teacher'. She made a show of holding up the Allium we'd picked, scolding us in front of everyone. She always did this, making an example of someone in a slightly mean way.

What was different this time was that it was me being scolded, not Clara.

The truth is, I'm not very used to being scolded. I tend to play the good child, always trying to please the adults. I think this was the first time I'd been told off at this facility.

As the 'auntie teacher' spoke, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I felt terribly embarrassed and frantically tried to think of excuses in my head. No one told me, I didn't pick it, it's not my fault...

Just as I thought I should say something, Clara gripped my hand a little tighter than usual.

I'm not sure why, but at that moment, I somehow understood how Clara felt. We hadn't even looked at each other. Clara was worried about me. I could feel her concern through our joined hands.

It's strange, even to me. More than being scolded myself, it was the thought of worrying Clara that really shook me. The embarrassment I'd felt moments ago vanished, replaced by a sadness that threatened tears and a feverish kind of determination, both rising up inside me at once.

I felt that to properly return Clara's grip, I needed to stand tall. "I'm sorry, I didn't know," I said, straightening my back as much as I could and speaking clearly. Once the words were out, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders, and I felt much better.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

The 'auntie teacher's' lecture went on a bit longer, and by the time it finished, it was lunchtime. As everyone started moving off to eat, Clara and I were the last to get ready. We hurriedly packed our things, and when we turned to catch up with the others, there was Libel standing there. He still didn't say anything, but I felt like he'd been waiting for us to set off.

From then on, bit by bit, our relationship with Libel began to change.

When we ate meals, when we spent time together in our room, Libel was still as quiet as ever, but he gradually began to look at us when he interacted with us.

When we went out for walks, when we tended to the flowers in the facility's garden, when we explored caves, Libel was always within sight.

When we read scripture, when we had lessons in reading, writing and arithmetic, when we studied animal biology, even when the 'auntie teacher' blessed us...

"This power of yours is called Phasmanicus," she said.

One by one, the children at the facility began to awaken to their Phasmanicus. Except for Libel, Clara and me. Asking plants about their properties, inquiring about locations from minerals, talking to animals. The things that became second nature to the other children never came naturally to us.

"It's one of the most fundamental powers that connects us to the world and helps us live. And..."

I remembered the 'auntie teacher' speaking feverishly, her eyes alight with passion.

"It's the misguided power that stole the rights from us, the people of Substania. We Valkyrja and the Hollow House will reclaim it!"

***

I woke with a start, shivering from the cold. The campfire was flickering before me. It seems I'd dozed off and been dreaming. A dream of when I was small, of our days at the facility.

Libel adjusted the blanket over my shoulders as I sat there, still half-asleep. As I raised my head to thank him, I noticed various tools next to Libel's backpack. An incense burner, medicinal herbs, pieces of tree bark and plants. These are used to sense spirits through the movement of the wind or through scents. It's like what I practised at my teacher's place. We'd burn incense made from local plants and try to discern the spirits' power from the changes in the smoke's movement.

Even though I'd tried all the methods I'd been taught, I hadn't succeeded today either.

"Lumi, the truth is, you don't necessarily need to sense spirits for Alderwick's ritual," Libel suddenly began.

"In fact, this ritual has been just a formality for years now. You know that for the past four years, an older person has been accompanying the ritual, right? Actually, it's because someone nearly got lost in a downpour during the ritual. There were even talks of abolishing the ritual altogether at that time."

I felt as if I were watching Libel from a distance as he suddenly started speaking so fluently. I could understand the words, but I couldn't grasp what he was trying to say.

"As I'm sure you've learned from the teacher, it's said that the connection between people and spirits was almost completely lost due to the Almatria Alliance War 50 years ago. None of us can use Phasmanicus as freely as people in the old days. Of course, I understand it's different if you want to become a Hoshiwatari. You need to submit a research report on spirit phenomena along with letters of recommendation as part of your application."

Libel was fidgeting with his hands. I know this about him. When Libel does this, he's talking about something he'd rather not say.

"But you don't have to do that now," he said, pausing for a moment as if searching for words. "I heard about this two years ago, after I went through the same ritual as you, spending a night here. The teacher told me in secret. I think it was to console me because I couldn't communicate well with the spirits. So, keep it a secret that you heard this from me."

I felt like I needed to make excuses and desperately searched for words, just like that time in my memory.

"Libel, you're being very talkative, like a teacher," I said. It wasn't a particularly funny thing to say, but I pretended to laugh. Libel didn't react and looked away.

I'm sure Libel was trying to tell me to give up on communicating with the spirits and end the ritual. He was thinking of me. He wanted me to stop trying so hard. He was worried that I might be hurt by not being able to do anything even in this sacred place. But that only made me feel worse. I felt much more apologetic about that than about not being able to use Phasmanicus.

"You know, I don't mind about that. It's just that I..." I started to say, but the words stuck in my throat.

It's just that I... what did I want to do? Why am I doing this, why Phasmanicus... why me?

A whirlwind of words and emotions raced through my mind. As I was starting to feel dizzy from not being able to sort them out, Libel placed his hand on my shoulder. It was a bit stronger than usual, which startled me.

Libel was looking at the campfire with a serious expression. Following his gaze, I looked too. Something was wrong. The fire looked like it was about to go out. Smoke was billowing up, as if we'd tried to burn damp firewood without drying it first.

I hurriedly looked around, but I couldn't see well. A white mist was hanging in the air. And it was cold. Even with the blanket over my shoulders, I was shivering.

The pleasant sound of insects had disappeared, replaced by a rustling noise of something passing nearby. Because of the mist, I couldn't tell if it was near or far, if it was the wind or an animal.

The scene of the tornado from when we first came to the Plains Country, Plato, flashed through my mind. Cold sweat ran down my back.

"Let's leave here right away," Libel said quickly, starting to pack up our camping gear. He must have thought some danger might be approaching.

But this also meant that our ritual was over.

"Libel, wait..." Even at a time like this, I was still hesitating. But it wasn't that I didn't want to give up on the ritual.

"Lumi, I'm sorry for interrupting our conversation. Let's continue it when we're settled. For now, let's move quickly," Libel's voice was a bit rushed. Even so, I could tell he was trying hard to speak slowly and not sound harsh.

"Isn't now the time?" I tried to speak as calmly as Libel.

"If this is the work of some spirit... if the spirit's power has become strong enough for even us to notice, isn't this our chance to communicate with the spirits?"

My breath was coming out white. The tips of my ears hurt. The temperature around us was dropping at an incredible speed.

Whether he was listening to me or not, Libel lit a lamp, tidied up the campfire, and continued preparing to leave this place.

"Libel..."

"Lumi, you might be right. But you might not be. We can't judge this on our own. It can't be helped. We knew this from the start, didn't we?"

Those words pierced the weakest part of my heart like a sharp blade. And like blood flowing from the wound and staining everything red, sadness spread through my heart.

We knew from the start...

From the start, he never thought I could do anything.

Libel was just humouring my selfish wishes...

Before I knew it, tears were flowing. A loneliness, as if I'd been left all alone in this dark forest, overflowed and spilled from my eyes.

The lamp Libel was holding flickered in the wind, tinting the tear-blurred landscape orange. I couldn't see Libel's face clearly, but I'm sure he looked troubled.

"Can I... really not do anything? Will I always be like this?"

I knew I'd done it as soon as the words left my mouth.

I knew this was a meaningless question that would only trouble Libel. I was being very unkind and difficult. This wasn't the time for such things. I knew that, but I couldn't stop the tears, couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm fine now. Come on, let's go quickly!"

I mustn't trouble Libel any more. I have to control myself, even if I have to force it. I hurriedly turned around to help with the packing. I tried to pack things into the rucksack and tie the strings, but for some reason, I suddenly couldn't remember how to tie them, and nothing was going right.

Suddenly, Libel's hand touched my shoulder. Unlike before, this time it was a gentle touch.

"Lumi, I'm the one who should apologise. I've been so focused on myself... I'm sorry. Let's try calling out to the spirits one more time, just once more."

Saying this, Libel wrapped me in the blanket, as if embracing my cold body.

Libel's voice was so gentle and warm, it seemed to wrap up all the loneliness that had spilled out of me.

Libel's hands were so cold they felt like they might freeze. But to me, they were warm.

My heart was in chaos, my thoughts scattered in all directions, but I could feel my heart steadying itself, guided by the warmth of those hands.

It was similar to the warmth of Clara's hand back then. But a little different.

I have to do this, one more time. I can't give up now.

My face was a mess from crying, but I nodded to Libel with all the determination I could muster.

When I first met Libel, I thought he was a bit mean, and that he gradually became kinder. But the truth is, I know. Both in the facility and when we went out, we were always chasing after Libel. He was matching his pace so we could keep up.

From the very beginning, Libel had always been kind.