Slev Torrent- Cormag One- Saxum Bounty Guild

Slev sipped his beer at one of the side tables, doing his best to avoid all the stares he was getting. He and Chitters had gotten accosted by no less than a dozen people on his way back through the main room, some wanted to know every detail about his battle with Bolettela, and quite a few more wanted him to join them on a hunt. He did his best to politely decline all the heavily armed aliens. Now he was just using a bounty terminal at the table, trying to find a decent on-world job, and absolutely salivating in anticipation of the pie that Carl had promised him.

Speaking of the colonists, Slev thought. He opened a tab that sorted out just the jobs funded by the human conclave. Two of them appealed to him. One of their more profitable mines had been more or less taken over by a band of ruffians, probably pirates the colonists didn't know either. That had a respectable bounty of 25,000 for returning it to colonist control. That would at least cover the fuel and repair costs that the evil stuffed animal had milked out of him. The other available job made him smile.

Bob Douglass wanted for murder 15,000 credits, dead or alive. Oh, that poor bastard Slev immediately accepted that job, he was really looking forward to seeing the guy shit himself when he saw the reaper armor. Not to mention, it would be really nice to have a job involving good old-fashioned humans again. The one thing he wasn't looking forward to about the human colony was his fucking infamy. Slev paid his overpriced bar tab and made his way out the door of the guild hall time to get some pie.

Slev approached the human colony from above, it was hilariously marked as NOT KANSAS in the official maps. Slev let out a low whistle as he scanned the heavily armed frontier-style town below. Nine separate circular walls linked small block like districts. Each district held a half-dozen homes made from the planet's red stone but paneled with what looked like wooden roofs and doors. All of the districts had at least one massive business or warehouse structure inside of them.

The central district even had a small, half-full Starport. The entire city lay in the shadows of a massive, twisted mesa that was being so heavily mined that even from this high up, he could clearly make out earthmovers. Slev's favorite feature, though, was the fuck around and find out human mentality on display here. A giant flashing neon sign said, “Humans here, fuck off pirates” in galactic common. The top of the mesa had two full anti-air batteries perched on a fortified bunker. Every wall had at least one wicked-looking mounted weapon emplacement. They even had two honest-to-God gravity tanks doing slow, deadly circles around the outskirts of the settlement. Dual barrles scouring every inch of cover and a small swarm of scouting drones flitting ahead of them.

Otto looked over from the copilot's seat, gravely concerned. “Is this safe? Are they protecting this pie?”

Slev stifled the laughter about to leak out, and with a very stoic expression, "We are perfectly safe. This is how humans defend the pie, honestly, the larger settlements will get things like anti-orbital missiles and cannons.”

Otto looked surprised. “If this is the human idea of moderate defenses, I'm genuinely intrigued to see what a military instillation would look like.”

A cheerful voice gave them landing clearance. “Hell yeah, man! Make your way to bay two. Carl told us about you saving his butt.”

“Are humans always this loud?” Otto questioned; he was starting to wonder if Slev was a grumpy outlier.

They disembarked from the ship and made their way through a stone tunnel that would easily fit massive cargo haulers. Popping out in what must have been the business district of the central ring. An old-timey sheriff sign hung from a squat metal building. The reinforced glass and tactically armored men inside were anything but old-timey, however. One man, obviously in charge inside, caught Slev's eye. He was wearing deep-crimson camouflage armor with a mesh tactical vest. The sheriff's gaze wandered over to Slev through the window. He gave him a long, hard look and then, a friendly nod before going back to his paperwork.

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Well, I'll be back to talk to him about the bounty I have. I'm surprised he hasn't handled it himself. Slev nodded back and made for the large two-story stone structure across from the sheriff's marked the mayor/ mining guild/ planning commission /trading office.

"Jesus, they don’t waste any office space, do they?" Slev had an amused tilt to his voice.

The inside of the town hall was not what Slev was expecting. A small open room with a simple desk had two offices flanking it and a set of stairs going up. The horns of some deer-like creatures were mounted all along the wall behind the desk. And behind the desk itself was a portly, motherly figure with a roughly pinned-up bun of golden hair. She was filling out paperwork by hand with a cup of coffee steaming next to her. She did a full double take at Slev and his companions before collecting herself.

“Welcome to city hall. How can I help yall.” she drawled out pleasantly.

Slev gave a polite nod and took his helmet off. "Ma'am, I was hoping you could direct me to a Mr. Carl Johanston.”

She gave him and his array of weapons an appreciative look. “Mind if I ask the nature of your....visit Mr?”

“Slev Torrent, he invited me for dinner and a place to stay after I bailed him out of a jam with some pirates.” Slev eyed her coffee lustfully.

“We are here to imbibe of the human treasure known as pie!” Otto interjected

The woman looked at Otto, who had spoken in Terran, with a mirthful expression before finally losing her composure and letting out a hearty laugh. "Oh, my lord, what are you?” She walked around the counter to get a better look at Otto.

“Not a pie thief?” Otto asked, not sure if he had just made a blunder in what he had said.

Her eyes were still looking at Otto, brimming with curiosity. "Well, Carl has a nice little place on the edges of the 7th ring. Just look for the Seldune hounds, he has a whole passle of those critters running around. Would you like a cup of coffee, Mr. Torrent?” She had noticed Slev was still fixated on her cup.

“Fuck ye....err . Yes, please, Ma'me." Slev blurted, correcting himself halfway through his overeager response.

She gave him a hard look for his unnecessary cursing, then handed him a steaming disposable cup full of black coffee. It smelled to Slev like this was the real stuff. She reached into a small under-the-desk cubby and handed Slev a simple map of Not Kansas.

"Alright, it was a pleasure to meet yall but I gotta get back to work we are awful shortstaffed around here." She politely waved them off and settled back into her mountain of forms.

Slev had made the trip to the 7th ring, clutching his overtly hot treasure and gently blowing on it every few steps. Suddenly, he stopped

“Its time.” He took a long and luxurious slurp of the coffee, letting out a disconcertingly happy sound afterwards. “Oh god, it's been too long,” he greedily sipped more.

Otto and Chitters both looked in interest. “What is this coffee?”

Slev thought about Otto hyped up on caffene for all of two seconds before he answered, “Lethal to all nonhumans, sorry.”

He made his way farther down the sidewalk, littered with red dust, appreciating the familiar touches on the shops they passed. A ramen joint had Japanese lettering and a comical cat sign that batted at passerbys. Another restaurant was advertising “Fried Chicken.*" *Well as close as you will get on this fucking Mars lookalike. Finally from an alley adjoining the ramen place, a massive tabby cat strolled out like it owned the planet.

Slev was already starting towards it when he felt Chitters go tense on his shoulder perch. Slev Looked at Chitters, Chitters looked at Slev. They both looked at the cat. Chitters pounced off of Slev's shoulder, and he barely managed to catch the little whirling mass of scythes. He struggled, pivoting him and Chitters to face away from the cat. Finally getting a good enough grip and holding Chitters tight to his chest.

“No! Nope! You are not eating the first fucking cat I have seen in years!” Chitters struggled in his grip, giving out unhappy hunting sounds.

Slev power-walked away from the unbothered cat, who had stopped to lick a paw. Not knowing how close to being lunch it had come. Ahead, he could see what was almost certainly Carl's home. A waist-high lattice fence surrounded a two-story-tall home. It's styling was unique; it was like someone had built an old-fashioned ranch house with a hexagonal porch, but instead of wood, they had to use painstakingly carved red-pink marble. The wood that made up the doors, window frames, and roof was almost added as an afterthought.

Slev walked up to the gate and stopped, his hand inches from the handle. Two dozen glowing red eyes had locked onto him. What he thought from a distance were rock decorations must be the seldune hounds. All twelve of the figures stood up in unison. Quadrepedal reptilian bodies, the size of a Terran wolf. They had skin that looked like the rocky crags of the mesa, broken by golden veins between the armored exterior and joints. They all opened their mouths and silently stuck their tongues out, tasting the air, and stayed like that.

“What the fuck?” Slev looked incredulously at the dozen lethal-looking beasts frozen in place, sticking their tongues at him.

Chitters somehow managed to escape his grip and slip his harness at the same time.

“Don't you fucking dare!” Chitters pounced over the fence.