“So… can I ask some questions?” I asked as the burning thoughts in my head just had to be let out. “Am I dead?” I asked as I looked up from the text to look at Tutor standing before me.
“No, you are still functioning.” She answered and even tilted her head to look at me quizzically.
“Functioning? So…. is this body real? How did it just appear? Where was my body just a few minutes ago when I couldn’t move? What happened to my bike and everything back when I wrecked?” I asked all in a rush as I felt my heart start beating fast again. I needed answers and needed to understand.
“Yes, you are functioning optimally at your present age and rate. Age for your species tends to cause your mind and mental abilities to become clogged, corrupted and fractured when mental tissue degrades along with the lack of proper care and nourishment. Joining the Core assimilated your brain in its entirety and ensured that as long as the Core exists your mind and existence will continue without degradation. Is this a sufficient explanation to your question about functioning?” She asked and paused while she waited for me to reply to her question.
“I suppose? What about my other questions?”
“This body is virtual, a representation that your mind desires to maintain a low level of stress at this present time. That answer answers the question of how it appeared in partial. The rest of the answer is that the core and your memory created it within an environment template that you find liveable. As to what happened to the “bike” it and your physical body and accessories were removed from existence. The path across the soil leading from the front porch of your house was also leveled and randomized to erase the path that your “bike” took to arrive at its end destination.”
I blinked, standing there a bit awestruck at what she had just said. In essence, I was a missing person… I had just vanished from existence. I slowly entered a state of shock as my hand reached up to cover my eyes while my mind tried to understand what had just happened to me, to my life, and what it would mean to the lives of my family and friends.
“Guest?”
My heart felt like it was being torn apart in my chest. My world was falling apart the more my mind raced through what this meant. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t think, I…
“Guest? Seeking assistance. Unlocking channels to outside.”
I slowly sank to the floor, my world dimming as I felt an overwhelming sense of fear and loss. When I reached the bottom I started to fight it, I wasn’t one to stay down forever, I was still alive… sort of anyways. I had been through a panic attack like this before and I had made it through, I just needed to let time pass to teach me that what I was thinking wasn’t really all that bad. My first panic attack had happened to me right after my grandmother had died and I had dropped out of an accelerated college class to return home to my little town to rethink my life. The panic attack had occurred when I had opened a letter from the college with a semester’s bill attached to it. It was the most money I had ever owed to anyone in my life and it had made me feel so lost and afraid, just the thoughts of how I was ever going to pay back such a large sum with the low income I was used to making. My older brother was with me at the time when I opened the letter and he helped me get through my panic attack.
The thought of never being able to see him again struck me deeply and I was going to try to fight to see if I could see him again.
I became aware of a low ominous humming sound in the air around me. I looked up and noticed that Tutor was still standing where I had left her but her eyes were wide with a look of worry directed at me. The air was hued with red instead of blue which made everything have a “warning” vibe to the surroundings around us.
I couldn’t help it but my vision was blurry from the tears in my eyes and pain rushing through me. There was a tiny spark of fire, of defiance still inside me, I was just fighting to try to hold back the feelings of loss and being swept away as I looked around and at Tutor.
“What? What did you say Tutor?” I managed to get out as I gripped my legs with my arms, trying to think about if I wanted to get up or just crawl into a hole somewhere.
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“Trauma has been detected and Guest was becoming irregular so I connected Guest’s environment to the outside channels. It appears that you have two individuals who would like to contact you. Tutor has explained your current irregularities and both would still like to meet you. In fact the individual whom you touched to join in travel is arriving in a moment to meet you. He has the power to override my quarantine and learning protocols and to come here.” Tutor said as the park bench that I had seen the old man sitting on appeared a few feet away facing away from me like it had been when I rode up to it. A moment later the same old man appeared on the bench, wearing the same clothes and hat. He looked around at the neverending library around us and then reached his left arm to the side of the bench and twisted to turn and look over his shoulder at me. It was the first time that I had seen him face to face. He looked quite ordinary… yet with a wizened and peaceful look of wisdom on his face. I heard a soft chuckle escape his lips as he looked over at me and shook his head.
“Guest this is Hxerdinand the Ninth.” Tutor said to me making Hxerdinand sound like Hexerdinand. “Hxerdinand the Ninth this is Guest.” Tutor said as she turned towards the man slowly standing up from the bench.
Hxerdinand made a low growl tone in the back of his throat and grumbled aloud about “Brand newly created Tutors.” before waving his finger at Tutor standing to his right. “The least you could have done was ask him his name!” He said as he started to walk around the bench and towards me.
“Hiya! My name is Joe and it is a pleasure to meet you.” He said as he extended his hand towards me as he approached me. “What is your name young man?”
This took me totally by surprise. Finally! Someone that could help me and who I could talk to!
“Hey, hi sir! My name is Kevin and I am from Idaho. I am sorry I touched you… I was just trying to get your attention to get answers to questions that I have had since I was 10. I saw a woman vanish just after someone said “Disha tah” and I figured that I only had moments before you would leave too.” I said all in a rush after shaking his hand. He had a firm grip and even seemed to have calluses on his palms and fingers.
He looked at me for a moment as he seemed to think about what I just said. The atmosphere in the room rushed back to blue and calming as if he was suppressing whatever turmoil state I had caused by entering a panic attack earlier. “Tutor, who is he referring to? I don’t have access to this data,” he asked as he looked back at Tutor for a second.
“Xa the Third was the whole reason for his arrival here. He witnessed and recorded her return to the Core. The physical record allowed his mind to bypass the 13-hour safeguards in place to erase traveler observations. Since that time he has been diligently seeking anyone returning. Probability was high that within his lifetime he would observe another return. The system has chosen not to hold you accountable.” replied Tutor.
“Well, that is a good thing. I would hate to be out some cr for something that I had no control over.” He seemed to chuckle for a second before turning a little white. “Did you say Xa?”
“Yes, she has requested a connection to Guest’s location at the same time you did when it was revealed that a Guest had been introduced to the Core.” Tutor replied in an even tone.
His bench quickly vanished and Joe practically ran to stand next to Tutor before whisper-shouting at Tutor “You had better let her in this instant!”
I was a bit taken aback by everything and feeling a little bit lost with the exchange that I was witnessing so I just picked myself up and stood there watching this byplay. Joe seemed almost normal… at least like a normal grandpa kind of character. I didn’t understand what he was saying to Tutor or what the whole deal was.
Soon the room changed again as a circle of marble appeared on the floor. A golden light shone on the marble circle and a floating dandelion puff the size of a head appeared. “Interesting.” The puff uttered in a female voice before changing instantly into the woman who I had taken a photo of in the grocery store ever so long ago. Everything was exactly the same about her, her clothes were the same, her age, her hair, even her gaze was the same… as if she was seeing everything and yet seeing even more than a normal person could, deeper, sharper I suppose.
She looked at me and then over at Tutor and Joe. A slight smile crept across her face as she studied Joe. “Hxerdinand, enjoying your retirement I see.” She said in a sweet and melodious tone. Hxerdinand, Joe, or whichever name he wanted to go by had the colors rapidly shift around his body, flaring and warping in super fast color changes as he stared straight ahead, not looking at Xa at all. “Oh come now, reply so that our Guest can understand you as well.” She said with a smile as she glanced at me and then back to him. Joe seemed to animate at this point and he bowed his head in respect and smiled at Xa, finally looking at her and seeming like he was greeting a respected person. “My deepest apologies Xa for arriving here before you, I didn’t know that this involved you. Yes, I had quite a wonderful life in that retirement moment. It allowed me to learn a new culture and outlook on certain parts of existence. It was quite a fascinating 80 years while I was there. In the moments before you arrived I learned that our Guest’s name is Kevin.” He said as he waved his hand in a gesture towards me.