Chapter 1
“When the eight stars align
And the seven lands combine
When the crown of man falls
And the trees of elves die
When cities fall to the flames
And farmland made into plains
Four beings shall arise
Greater than all the gods combine”
-The Prophecy of the Circle
Hey! Sleepyhead! Wake up! I’m getting bored!
A familiar crummy voice resounds in my head, waking me up.
“Damn holy chihuahuas! That hurts!” I scream in agony as a wave of pain hits my head. I fall back down onto the cold, rocky floor, banging my head in the process but that was nothing compared to this headache. It was like my brain was trying to split itself in half, like there was flesh-eating worm chewing on it, like there was a five ton ogre inside my cannot-hold-a-five-ton-ogre-skull, trying to break of its confinement.
“What the hell did Osiris feed me?!” I scream into the air.
Calm down, Mr. I-Was-The-First-Out-So-I’m-The-Greatest! Your screaming is making my head hurt! And it’s nothing much. Just some really strong alcohol.
“But did I lose my virginity?”
...
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
...
“Well?”
...
“M-my god! He didn’t! I-I’m going to take his virginity too then! Hah!” I scream out, pointing towards the night sky before falling back down and back into wonderland.
Five hours later, I wake up to a throbbing headache. It was nothing compared to my brain splitting into quarters at first. I stood up and stretched my muscles to ready them for the day. Who knows? Might have to fight kung-fu fighting pandas or make love to psychotic goldfish. Can’t have myself cramping then!
“Hey Psychotic Goldfish! What’s new on the menu?”
[tr]
Status MenuName:ApophisClass:Chaos LordLevel:1Race:GodCharacter StatsMana:1000Mana Regen:10/secStrength:100Agility:100Intelligence:100Mana Power:100Faith Points:10You’re a god now! That’s new! Now let’s have some fun!
“Yes! Let’s have some fun! As soon as we find out where the hell we are!” I exclaim. I scan my surroundings and I see the endless night sky lit up by the billions of stars dotted all around the universe. It was like a black chest filled with glittering treasures tempting one to grab it yet at the same time it repulses those who answers to its call. It shines with an aura of beauty and wisdom, of tranquility and peace yet of strength and might. It gave off a feelings of a sage-like being, like it knew of everything that had happened, is happening and will happen. It holds a sense of innocence like that of a child yet, at the same, time it holds a sense of experience like that of a seasoned warrior. The night sky and its collection of glistening children is full of contradictions yet every contradiction made sense, supplementing their character.
“Glorious,” I whisper in admiration, an imaginary tear tracing the outlines of my imaginary cheeks. Yes, imaginary. I find that I have no biological, moving body, rather, I find it to be some kind of kinky statue of a snake sucking itself. Am I some kind of god of kinky beastility masterbation? I hope not, I’d rather have a partner. Back to topic! My kinky statue body cannot move however I was able to maneuver my consciousness as if it were a different deity altogether! I can go through physical objects, spiritual objects, kinky objects, clothing, any kind of objects! It’s like I’m the ultimate stalker, ingenious!
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Contrary to the skies majesty, the earth that I’m gracing my presence on is nowhere near the level of majesty my body deserves! It’s a giant rock filled with craters! There aren’t any lifeforms whatsoever, no civilization, no communication and worst of all, no wifi! How am I supposed to live?
“Psychotic goldfish! Where in the name of burritos are we?”
On an oversized asteroid revolving around a planet. Also known as a moon. Even a elementary school student can tell you that! You didn’t need to ask me!
“Tch! I don’t see a planet!”
That’s cause you’re on the wrong side of the moon!
Huh, he might have a point thus I decided to journey to the light side of the moon! And let me just tell you, the journey was long and tiresome, full of perilous dangers and traps, in other words, it was magnificently boring. I took the fastest way to get to the other side, which was straight through the moon, and all I saw on my journey there was rocks. Gray rocks, brown rocks, black rocks, rocks everywhere! There wasn’t even a tiny bit of cheese!
After an hour or two of travelling through rocks, I emerged from the ground and stood face to face with a sphere of blue and green. I held my breath as I took in her beauty and majesty, her pride and scorn, her kindness and anger. The soft, white clouds covers her surface like a maiden covering her chest, her domineering oceans shone with a royal blue like a king in front of his subjects and the green surface reflected warmth like a mother to her child, nurturing a newborn life, a beating heart, a thinking individual.It was a sign of life, a sign of such an ingenious bonding of elements that it is able to think, to feel, to breathe and to live, a sign of civilizations that will one day explore the stars beyond, a sign of beings that may one day be able to manipulate the very fabric of reality. And all that starts right here, on this little oasis. I could only stand there, or rather float there, and stare at the revolving planet in awe.
“Psychotic Goldfish, let’s grab one of those planets for ourselves.”
Well maybe you can buy it in the shop
“Shop? There’s a shop? Did I miss it on my way here?”
Yep! Here let me open it for you!
Strange, that psychotic goldfish is being awfully nice.
A screen filled with colorful pictures of different genders of various races posing in sexualized positions holding or wearing the advertised merchandise. On the sides were different tabs leading to different types of items, from summoning creatures to upgrading temples. I looked through the different merchandise, each costing varying amount of faith points.
“I only have ten points. What can I buy?”
Well you can buy this with ten points
The fish redirects me to another page on the shop menu with an inflatable doll.
“Nope!” I said before swiping the page away and went back to reading through the many different merchandise. The blue screen continues to blabber on giving me absurd reasons on why I should buy a sex doll. I ignored it and continued on reading, searching for something that can get me off this rock or maybe even turn this rock into a starting base to launch my operations from. Yes, that does sound good! I think I will do that, a moon base!
As I formulated a plan in my mind, I found something that might come in handy in my future endeavors, a lifeform that is able to survive in the vacuums of space. It was a type of moss that only required the different rays of a star to survive. It was also able to absorb other nutrients as a supplement to grow faster and stronger but the most important aspect of this plant is that it can produce faith energy. With a little bit of mana manipulation and some time, which I have plenty of mind you, I can slowly alter its genes to suit my needs. Unfortunately it costs 8 faith points, leaving me with only 2.
With a weary heart and even-skinnier wallet, I tapped the confirm button and bought my first worshipper, a purple moss. There wasn’t anything spectacular about the summon, my right hand started to glow and a ball of purple moss appeared.
“Well, looks like you and me are going to be friends for quite a while.”
Hey! What about me?!
“Huh? Did you say something Barnie? No? Strange, I swear I heard something.”
That’s messed up…