In the blink of an eye, I found myself transformed into my original form: the Azure Dragon.
Yes! I wriggled my body ecstatically, enjoying how I could now move. I flew over to my mom’s sleeping form and rubbed my head against her arm, but she didn’t wake up.
Did I want her to wake up? As far as I knew, she wasn’t very good at fighting.
After some thought, I decided that it would be better for her to be awake and alert. However, no matter what I tried, she wouldn’t wake up.
Just as I had resigned myself to not being able to speak with my mother, a blue square appeared in front of me and a countdown began.
[Game Start: 30 seconds]
Then another, bigger blue square appeared with a set of instructions.
[Prepare yourself for the Noob Invasion! Choose which plants you want to summon.]
Stylized images of two strange flora appeared inside the blue square.
[Earthroot
A plant that roots itself deep into the earth, drawing the qi from the dragon vein beneath the farm.]
I flew outside through a window, closing it behind me, into the darkness of the night. Mom’s house did not have a fence, much less a wall, which meant that it was completely defenseless against the invaders. Therefore, I decided to use these grants to defend the farm.
On the upper right corner of the blue square was a green bar that was labeled “energy.” When I chose the Earthroot, the green bar was cut in half, which I understood to mean that I needed energy to summon a plant. I put the Earthroot down in front of the house. In moments, a brown woody shrub grew to knee height and the energy indicator started slowly refilling.
When I tried to choose a Starflower, I couldn’t summon it.
[Starflower
Shoots stars at one enemy, slowing it down and doing minor damage.]
Since the only other choice was the Earthroot, I placed another one and anxiously waited for the countdown to end.
[Game Start: 02 seconds]
[Game Start: 01 seconds]
[Game Start: 00 seconds]
[Game Starts Now! Make it through the night to win!]
Suddenly, a black square appeared in the sky showing a young, male human with a device on his head. His voice boomed like thunder across the sky, saying nonsense words.
“Hey, what's up everyone? It's Ctrl Alt Eliite here and today we're diving into NoCap Games' latest zany release, Noob Invaders vs. Teddy's Farm. I'm playing as the noob invader, so get ready for plenty of laughs. This game is currently in beta, so we'll be providing some valuable feedback to the developers as we go along. Let's do this!”
[https://i.imgur.com/3NfjHeQ.png]
There was another loud blaring of trumpets, and the first of the “Noobs” showed up. When I tried to charge it, I suddenly found myself back inside the house in my teddy bear form, but this time I could move. I rushed outside through the door, carefully locking it behind me, and saw that the Earthroots had gathered enough energy for me to place a Starflower.
The flower, which looked like something from a kid's drawing, grew to about man's height in a second and started spewing out yellow puffballs that were vaguely star-shaped. When the puffballs hit the noob, it staggered and bits of it fell off until it collapsed and disappeared in a puff of glittery particles. Although the Starflower had made short work of the first enemy, more of them kept on appearing. I kept on summoning more Earthroot and Starflower plants while keeping an eye on the stream of Noob Invaders.
After a while, I was able to summon a few more types of plants: Ironwood as a defensive type, and Frostbloom to freeze the enemy in their tracks.
[Frostbloom
Shoot a spray of water that turns to ice and freezes the target.]
Frostbloom was a white flower that was useful but quite fragile.
[Ironwood
Acts like a tough wall of wood that can withstand heavy Noob attacks.]
I placed the Earthroots and attack-type plants behind the Ironwood, a short tree with a wide trunk, to protect them.
The Noob Invaders continued to attack and I planted more Earthroots to keep up with their increasing numbers.
The strange person in the box in the sky kept on narrating everything he was doing, which was quite helpful because I knew what he was going to do before it happened.
“Alright guys, we're getting deeper into the game now, and I want to talk a bit about strategy. As a Noob Invader, it's crucial to have a plan. It’s true that you have to work fast, but you won’t win unless you find a weak point and strike at the right time. What I’m going to do now is to wait until I build up a large army then split it into two. The first one will draw all the fire and soften up Teddy’s defenses, then the second one will move in for the kill.”
Even though I knew what he was doing, I was still hard-pressed to summon enough plants to stave off the attacks. I was only saved when a new plant type appeared.
[Thornlash
A thorny plant that lashes out at Noobs with its vines.]
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
It was a mass of green vines with razor-sharp thorns. Though the new plant wasn’t very sturdy, it was quite cheap in terms of its energy needs, so I was able to surround the entire farm with Thornlashes, which was enough to turn the tide.
As I finished dealing with the second army, the sky began to turn lighter, heralding the dawn.
The person inside the black square floating above the farm knew as well as I did that the “game” was coming to a close. He excitedly announced “one last big bang!”
“Folks, you’re in for a treat because now it's time to unleash the ultimate Noob Sorceress invasion.” The strange human laughed like a braying donkey, loud and wheezing. “Trust me, this is gonna be epic. I've been saving up my summoning points for this. Let's show them who's boss!”
I hurriedly placed a few more Ironwoods, barely making it in time as a giant human female with wild red hair appeared and started chanting a spell.
"Lord of the memes that terrify,
Sword of cold and darkness, free yourself from the internet's bonds,
Become one with my power, one with my keyboard
And let us walk the path of hilarity together!
Power that can smash even the boredom of scrolling,
MAGNAMEME BLADE!"
Suddenly, dozens of red and black blades fell from the sky, decimating the farm's defenses. The giant sorceress disappeared in a haze of glitter, and another wave of Noobs appeared that almost managed to make it to the house. Fortunately, sunrise cut the Noob Invasion short.
The human’s face slowly faded from the black square, replaced by a lot of text.
[Noob Invaders vs. Teddy’s Farm]
[Game End]
[Player Stats:
89 Plants Killed
267 Summoning Points Used
1 Boss Summon]
[Score: 445]
[Grade: B-]
There was a soft chiming sound and I found myself back in my original place on mom’s bedside table.
Ah! It was over, and I had won.
***
The Noob Invaders only attacked once every ten days. Strange-looking, loud humans with devices on their heads kept appearing and summoning more Noob Invaders, but after a while, I became used to it and was able to work out the most efficient methods to defend the farm. I thought that everything was going to be fine until the day of the “public release” when, all of a sudden, something called “launch day” came and the Noobs became stronger and faster while my summoned plants remained the same.
The human in the black box in the sky said, “Here we go! We just broke through the farm’s defenses and now we have to fight the boss, Teddy himself!”
When the Noob army reached the last line of Earthroots and Ironwood, I stepped forward in my toy form and grew twice the height of mom’ farm. Roaring, I swatted the Noobs away like they were bugs even as I continued to place more plants. When I had some energy, I cast Flame Burst.
[Flame Burst
A skill that releases bursts of flames in all directions, damaging any enemies within range.]
But it was all in vain. There were just too many Noobs. In minutes, they had me surrounded and my fluffy body fell apart until it exploded in a shower of glitter.
I felt no pain since it was an artificial body. When my teddy bear form disintegrated, I found myself back in my Azure Dragon form, but only as an insubstantial spirit who wasn’t able to touch or affect anything.
“Nooooooooo!” I screamed when the Noobs broke through the farm door and entered. When I tried to hit them with my tail, my body passed through theirs. I passed through the mob to my mother's side.
The first one had reached her bed and was bending over her with its dirty hands outstretched when she stirred.
“Mmm? What?” She yawned and opened her eyes just as the Noob touched her shoulder. “What’s happening?’
The moment she opened her eyes, the world around us changed. The Noobs and plants disappeared.
“Oh, it’s you, Eggy? Wow, this is the first time I dreamed of you being with me in the farm!” she said.
She sat up, and I flew to her, crying tears of relief. I wanted to say, “Mom, you’re here, I found you! Thank all the gods that you’re safe. I’m so happy you’re here, and I want to stay with you forever,” but all that came out was “Cheep! Cheep cheep cheep.”
Alas, my child dragon form had undeveloped vocal cords.
“Why are you crying? There, there,” she said.
Mom rubbed the scales on my chin and I closed my eyes in bliss. “Cheep, cheep, cheep.”
I turned into my human form to talk to her. “Mom!”
“Eggy!” She embraced me.
I buried my head on her shoulder and my tears wet her nightgown. She was soft and warm and oh so comforting. I felt like I was finally home.
The things I wanted to say came out as childish babble as I sobbed in her arms. “Mom you stay. No go.”
“Shh, shh, everything’s fine. I’m here,” she said.
She lay down again, this time on her side, and I stayed in her embrace for a long time, savoring our closeness. Eventually, she pulled herself back and peered into my face.
“Where Mom go? Me look for you,” I said, remembering the decades I had spent scouring the entire Easterlands for her. Before I died, I’d combed every inch of the forest we had lived in but found no trace of her.
“Mmm? Go? I was always here,” she said, stroking my hair, only for her fingers to get stuck in the wild mess on top of my head. “Ugh, why is your hair so dirty and tangled? That’s it, time for a bath!”
My tiny mother staggered when she got up, still carrying me in her arms, so I pulled on her hand, meaning, “Put me down, please.”
“Oh my baby Eggy is so big now!” she said as she lowered me to the floor.
She took me by the hand and led me to her bathing chamber where we undressed before she used a magic device to spray water on me.
“Wah! Cold, want hot!” I said.
“Ah.” She tested the water with her hand and then shook her head. “It’s already hot! Fine, I’ll make it hotter. I forgot dragons love intense heat.”
Of course, if I was in my adult form I could talk properly and bathe myself, but it was sort of nice to let her take care of me. She used something called “shampoo” on my hair before rinsing it off with hot water. Then she used a sweet-smelling soap to scrub my body clean.
As the water washed away the suds, I experienced a strange sensation. Something insubstantial yet real was being swept away. The sins I had committed in my life flashed through my mind - sins born of pride, greed, envy, and wrath. Everything from the time I had snuck away and eaten crimson fruits without permission from the orchard owner when I was twelve years old, to the time I joined a decade-long territory war just because I wanted a few more acres of land, popped into my head before being replaced by a feeling of loss and acceptance.
“There! All clean!” She smiled down at me in delight and rubbed her nose on mine.
“Tank yoo, mom,” I said.
“Hahah, let’s go and play!” she said.
We put on some light robes and went outside. It was a lovely spring day at the farm. The air was cool and pleasant, and the sun shone brightly in a blue sky dotted by fluffy white clouds. The grass was a vibrant green, and the light breeze brought the sweet smell of honeysuckle to my nose. The wheat and corn crops were knee-high.
I spent a perfect day with my mom playing tag, hide and seek, and hopscotch. When mom got tired, she spread out a picnic blanket and fed me the most delicious apples I had eaten in my entire life, followed by a tall glass of pure water that tasted like the nectar of the gods.
Lying with my head on her lap, I tried to tell her how much I had missed her. “Mom gone, me no like.”
“Aw, what a cutie. Here, give me a kiss.”
She bent down and I stood up to kiss her cheek. “Pwease be mom neks lif.”
“Next life?” She seemed to find my request funny. “But I’m already your mom now.”
“Pwease!”
“Aw, okay,” she said. “But you have to promise to be a good little boy.”
Yes! I was going to be reborn as her child again. “Pwomis.”
I flung my arms around her as the world around us dissolved into a bright white light.
It was time.
We looked up and saw that above us was a misty portal through which I could see green hills covered in white flowers. Emer, my older siblings, and all my deceased friends were there waiting for me.
“Ah, are you going to leave now?” asked my mom.
I nodded and turned back into my dragon form. Then I started shrinking and instinctively curled up as a white shell started forming around my body.
“Ah, you’re turning back into an egg,” said mom. She smiled and poked my cheek. “Eggy egg.”
“Bye,” I said.
I was ready. My body, shell and all, rose towards the portal.
“See you later,” she said.
Please be happy until we meet again. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
End of Special Episode