- Prologue, i guess? -
Date: 296/17/4972
Time: 15:31.05
It was another, boring afternoon in some boring town that no one knows or wants to know. Not much was going on in the town at the time, all the interesting plot seems to have eluded it. The only thing interesting about this town was that it produced anime, with the most overdeveloped side characters in existence. Every month, a new episode of this highly unpopular anime airs, and all the groans could be heard as the opening song played.
"Too many cliches!" A random person said while watching what he called 'sh*t', "I mean, come on! Didn't you - there it is again! Another death flag!"
"At least give it a chance! It's only 947 episodes in! It's not even halfway through the storyline yet!" Said Friend A, another useless side character.
"Nope! Not gonna give it another! Is there even any plot? It's as if the creator just wants to-huh? What's that?" He declared, noticing that in the corner of the tv screen a character was duking it out with a truck, and lost. Badly. And getting dragged off-screen doing so.
"Ha!!!!! Oh my god, that was funny AF!!!" said Townsman B [Some other random guy watching with Friend A] while rolling on the floor, laughing.
"Well, my opinion of this anime just got better. WTF was that? A cat trying to punch an 18-wheeler going at 200km per hour?" Friend A commented.
"Dunno, but that certainly was-WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" - Townsman B
- Friend A's TV just combusted.
The last thing shown on the screen before it ignited was a stereotypical loli catgirl falling towards the camera, screaming "Avatar is an anime!" with a fleet of anime MC's from over 2 millenia ago. As for why, Friend A couldn't bother himself to try to figure that out.
"Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Friend A howled, while weeping a slow, but steady stream of tears. "Why? Why? How could this happen? Why? My porn films! Why, cruel Kami-sama? Why???"
"Who knows, A. Who knows. But-WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" - Townsman B
Ok, TBH I was gonna scrap the above scene, but it's so stupid I had to leave it in. Now, how do I incorporate 'that' into a story that literally transcends time itself? Hmm...
Y'know what? Fuck it. Timeskip!
- Chapter 1 - How it all began - For real this time -
- Log 1 -
"Wake up, you stupid cunt! Baka, you can't even get up right!"
It was just another normal day, that day, when everything turned to sh*t. I just finished repairing, and was living by myself in a crate house. Y'know, the kind they have on giant cargo ships and such? Yeah, those things, I was coming down from removing the bits that fell off the skyscraper's roof when suddenly the government shows up at my doorstep. I don't even have a doorstep for them to climb! How do they know where I live? Why are they here? Putting that aside for the moment, knowing that i'd go back to it later unless something came up, I asked the fellows, "What do you want with me?" and guess what their answer was? "Your life." Your life! Can you believe that? I haven't done anything so bad to kill me over! Well, i guess if you count being the only known witness of the most difficult murder by the most skilled assassin on the planet, then i'm a goner, but other than that i'm fine! Just gonna keep developing new technology for the govenrment to abuse and fail to reproduce, and live on as the head of both the leading mecha-design and counter-mafia societies in secret. All the while making popcorn and enjoying the fireworks from above. BTW the government isn't in charge in the city i live in, it's the people. And as for why there isn't blood boiling on the streets, there is. The people select a person to serve as a representative, willing or not, into the makeshift ruling force called the Council of Civil Warriors. These select people cannot leave the council until death, and Suicide is actually punishable, so yeah. Murder's common, though usually it kinda goes something like this:
Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
Random person: "Hey, i'm suffering and can't die, please help me."
Random passerby: "Sure! Any last words?"
...
*Slits throat*
Something like that. And i'm a member under the name of Issei Yuuko. Yay. Anyways, since i've got more space on the page and time, i'll just continue the log. Those officials tried to kill me, failed,d and then got to business after being put on the brink of death. Turns out their now unconscious bodies had some documents stating that I had a stalker getting paid to sell information on me, that the stalker found my living place by tracing a traceable video feed during a council meeting that i couldn't physically attend [due to getting bored], and that I was a so-called 'Civil Survivor', the name given to anyone who witnesses my crimes. No new information there, that stalker was just an invisible demihuman with wings. Nothing i couldn't handle, but i didn't feel like doing anything about it until now. Now it's dead, and the wings were turned into a pillow. It's actually quite comfy. Sums up my first day of this grand game of cat and mouse.
- Issei Yuuko, better known as Bokuen Sameki, the "Civil Slayer"
- Log 2 -
Remember that random wake-up call at the beginning of the last log? Kinda forgot to go in on that minor detail, I don't live alone. Not ever since that day, anyway. Through some method or another, one of my former classmates from high school [which I quit 'cuz I went through 3 years' curriculum in 7 months] found my place and took up residence in it while i was out dismantling. Guess i needed that extra pillow after all. Anyway, she's a bit of a tsundere who took concern in my 'dropout' and can actually stand my half-NEET lifestyle. Takes a bit of getting used to, but the tsundere part of her is like a trigger switch when affection is mentioned in just about any sort of manner, other than that she has this innate ability of seducing men, even with a flat chest. I guess the purple hair and eyes do something to them. Not to me, anyway. My race doesn't really have the ability to be aroused, a gift and a curse if i must say. If i had to describe that part, i'm kinda able to control erections, if it could be called that? I mean, my body's a biomechanical weapon so IDK. To elaborate, i've got a bushy tail that i can 'de-bush' and cram into a hollow belt when needed, cat ears that can be folded down to hide [looks like hair when down], feet that are basically gladiator boots combined with sniper rifles and thrusters, and literally the most useless pair of wings in history. They're made of fucking poison! Do you know how hard it is to get new clothes? I mean, sure they can be tucked away but they burn fucking holes right through the damn things! Every god damn time!
Sorry for the rant about the most useless body attachments you could ever ask for. But yeah, they might sound cool to have, but aside from the foot-thrusters they just attract unwanted attention and cause problems if not careful. So, to sum up these past 2 logs i've got a Crate house on the border of the city slums, a seat in a full-power civil parliament-of-sorts, the iron thrones of robots and blades [which i'll probably leave], a kouhai leech, and a new game of cat-and-mouse with the government, which is trying to seize control from the 'Council of Civil Warriors', which I really wanna rename to 'the league of bitches'. Bokuen out.