Chapter 2
The Dungeon
He found himself lying on a cold stone floor of a sterile-smelling cavern that appeared to have been hammered out of solid rock and lit by floating torches. The cavern was large enough to hold his house and yard, with plenty of room to spare.
He groaned and got painfully to his feet. The portal he'd come through was gone. His cellphone was gone, and there were six more teddy bears resting near the cavern's only exit, a stone archway most adults would need to duck under to enter. The archway was made up of large stones covered with childish drawings, things like stick figures and crudely drawn suns, rainbows, and stuffed toys. He wanted to examine them but had no intention of going near the teddy bears to do so. The teddy bears, fortunately, appeared inert, making no move to attack.
“No weapons, no armor, no character build, and you're alone,” said a low-pitched gravely voice behind him, making him jump and spin around. “You are not very smart. I hope you're not planning on becoming a spell caster.” A small creature resembling a garden gnome looked up at him intently.
“Please, sir. Who are you? Could you tell me where I am?” Jeremy asked nervously. After the teddy bear attack, he wasn't at all sure this creature was friendly.
The creature stroked his long white beard and waddled forward. At least he seemed to waddle. Jeremy couldn't see his feet under his robes.
Jeremy backed up nervously.
“Could I tell you? Of course I could. This is The Children's Dungeon, after all. You have only to ask. My name is Boggan. And you are?” His eyes gazed into the distance. “Ah. Jeremy Wilkins from a new world. Weak, average intelligence, average endurance, not even the beginning of a character build.” Shaking his head. “Ooh. Things do not look good for you.”
“Well, I didn't want to come here. I was pushed.”
“That is unfortunate,” Boggan replied.
“Could I please go home?” Jeremy asked.
“Can you go home? Of course you can! Let me show you.” Boggan pulled up a holographic-like image from nowhere. It was transparent enough for Jeremy to see seven layers riddled with labyrinthine hallways.
“As you see,” Boggan pointed at the bottom of the map where a red x was located, “you are here. Now to get home, you need to go out through that archway there,” he motioned towards the only archway in the room. “Go down this hallway.” Boggan used his finger to point out the way on the map. “There are many passageways branching from this hallway, but if you ignore these dangerous, uncharted waters of the dungeon, and follow the brightly lit red path, going in the direction the arrows point, you can't get lost. Where the path ends on this, the lowest level, you will find the way to the second level. At the second level, you again follow the red path and it will take you to the third, and so on. Continue like this to the seventh level. From the seventh level, the path leads to the center.” He pointed to a large room at the center of the topmost labyrinth. “The room in the center of the seventh level holds the portal that will take you home. A hydra lives in the big room, but it's very young, just learned how to breathe fire, mostly harmless. All you have to do is get past the mostly harmless hydra and jump through the portal. And you're home.”
Jeremy studied the winding pathway on the three-dimensional map, trying to use the room's archway for reference. The path went on for miles. “How many monsters will I meet on this path?” he asked.
Boggan looked away, suddenly evasive. “Not that many. One or two, uh hundred. Give or take. Hard to tell. This is The Children's Dungeon after all.”
“What exactly is a children's dungeon?”
“Didn't I tell you? The Children's Dungeon is a dungeon only children can see and enter. It's a dungeon made to teach children about dungeons, monsters, character classes, and how to use the alternate energy source to level up and kill monsters.”
“Energy source?”
“You would know it as magic,” Boggan said. “As you know, monsters eat children. The only way to prevent monsters from eating children is to send children into a dungeon with thousands---uh, I mean hundreds---of ravenous child-eating monsters.”
Jeremy's foot started hurting again. This couldn't be happening, could it? Had to be a dream, a hallucination? “That makes no sense. Couldn't we just eat our vegetables?” he asked.
Boggan pulled himself up to his full 3-foot height, (including his pointed red hat), puffed out his chest, and glared at Jeremy, causing the boy to back away again. “No! No! No!” Clearly, Jeremy had hit a sore point with the vegetable comment. “Children should never eat vegetables. Monsters love eating children who eat their vegetables. Children who eat their vegetables taste better to monsters.”
“My mom would strongly disagree with that statement,” Jeremy said. “She told me to eat my vegetables or the boogyman would get me.” She'd been joking, but still.
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Boggan sighed. “You are from a world new to dungeons and monsters. Your mother's only experience is with imaginary monsters. But here, in the real universe, monsters are real.”
Boggart produced a packet the size of a granola bar from the air and handed it to him. “This is a dungeon ration. It's good for you. It comes with strength bonuses.”
Jeremy pocketed the food bar. Food was the last thing on his mind right now. He watched the teddy bears by the archway. They were still and silent, but he had a feeling they could attack at any moment. He was tired and his foot hurt from being bitten. To his embarrassment, he started to cry. “I came here by accident. Please. I just want to go home without fighting a bunch of monsters.”
“Now you're being ridiculous,” Boggan said with a sniff. “You might as well wish black to be white, or to alter the laws of physics, so the ever-expanding dungeon universe ceases to exist.”
“I just want to go home,” Jeremy whined, tears rolling down his face.
“Well. Let's get started. I realize you are from a new world and these are uncharted waters for you, so I will explain. First, I'll give you a character stat sheet. This summarizes who you are and shows us how far along you are in utilizing the alternate energy source, or magic, to accomplish your goals.”
Boggan made a hand gesture and Jeremy felt something in the corner of his eye just outside his vision. He somehow flicked his eyes, and a screen appeared in front of him in the air. He moved his head from side to side; the screen remaining in front of him as he did so, following his eyes.
Name: Jeremy Wilkins
Race: Human
Sex: Boy
Age: 10
Character Class: Child
Level: 0
Hit Points: 7
Attributes:
Strength: 5
Endurance: 5
Vitality: 6
Dexterity: 4
Agility: 5
Perception: 4
Intelligence: 6
Wisdom: 5
Will Power: 4
Charisma: 4
Mana: 0
Skills:
None.
Spells:
None.
Fortunately, the stat sheet was transparent enough to see past it to ensure nothing was sneaking up on him.
“You have accessed your stat sheet,” Boggan said from behind him, making him jump. “Very good. Your stat sheet is the dungeon's way of interfacing with you to show you what your abilities are and how far you've progressed. What you are seeing is a rough summary of your life up to this point. You have no levels, no magic or skills of any kind, and your stats are not good.” Boggan shook his head.
“I have skills,” Jeremy said, defending himself. “I can play hockey, sort of. I know math and I get decent grades in school.”
“Those skills don't apply. By skills, I'm referring to magically augmented abilities that will keep you alive. But first, let's start with the three basic character types.” Once again, Boggan created a holographic image, this time showing three characters standing next to each other, each about 6 inches tall.
After a bit of experimentation, Jeremy flicked the stat screen back to the corner of his eye to get a better look.
“There are three basic character types," Boggan began. "The first is the spell-caster. They cast spells to bend their surrounding reality.”
The figure on the left came alive. Wearing robes and holding a staff, it cast tiny fireballs at the dog-like monsters surrounding it, killing a few of the monsters, but was quickly taken down, torn apart, and eaten.
“The second type is a fighter. They wear protective armor and use powerful weapons to attack and kill their enemies.”
The second figure, a knight armed with a large sword, came alive and used its sword to fight off the same dog monsters, lasting a little longer, but like the first, it was pulled down, torn apart, and eaten.
“The third type is a rogue. They depend on stealth and guile to defeat their enemies, by stabbing them in the back, or attacking them from concealment in unexpected ways.”
The third figure ran for its life, trying to get away from the dog-like monsters, only to be pulled down like the other two and torn apart.
“Now there are thousands of variations of these classes, many types of spell-caster, fighter, and rogue, but they all start with these three basic character types.”
“I want the fourth type that doesn't get torn apart and eaten by monsters,” Jeremy said, not at all impressed by what Boggan had shown him.
“You are being ridiculous, again,” Boggan said with an indignant sniff. “Now think carefully. Which of these types best suits your physical and mental needs and proclivities?
Jeremy thought about it. Having magic would be nice, but spell-casters, from everything he knew from games, started out weak, and he was alone. A fighter would be better, but Jeremy wasn't that tough. Most of his fighting experience involved hiding from his older brother.
“Rogue,” he finally said. “I will go with a rogue class.”