Once upon a time in Terra there was peace, and you know what peace is kinda of boring so I thought to myself I should create some chaos to spice up things up, cause honestly what's life without a bit a of spice. And with my spice well I like a bit of demon lord as a personnel preference. Some prefer a bit of plague or an undying linch, me I like to keep it simple. LIKE HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO KEEP AND UNDYING LINCH BALANCED!!!. Nasty little things ya leave em alone for a century and they start uncovering unholy relics and learning godly magic and then ya got put the poor fucker down before he raises everything to the ground.
So here I am adding a little bit of spice to Terra and the angels start throwing fuckin fits. "Ya can't just burn down that city" or "stop corrupting the pure", I mean have you seen those guys when they start a crusade they frickin burn contienents to the ground, hypocrites the lot of em. Anywho I just ignored em. Which in hindisght might no have been the best idea cause like what's the worst the worst that could happen.
Well yeah, they started a crusade, wait dude ya don't need to raise ya hand just ask away.
"Uh why am I here?"
I'm getting to that part, give me a moment. Like relax and just trust me I've done plently of these before and it goes alot quicker if I give ya the full story instead of having to answer the same 5 questions with different responses. So where was I oh yeh so the crusade started to raise everything to the ground. And I was like this isn't very cool, chaos sure but utter destruction is a bit lame. so ya know what I did, I made em another demon lord. Ya shoulda seen the looks on their face when their holy army got utterly crushed by falling brim stone. It was fuckin priceless I was in tears literal tears wahahahahaha.
Haaah And then we both got scolded by god....
"Wait what?"
Yeeeeh turns out ol pops hadn't realised we'd been messing with his creations, also wasn't to happy about it either when he found out, I'm sure ya heard about it in one way or another the whole "Douth tha'll b thine forbidden from messing with creation directly yadayada".
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"????"
Oh so ya don't know... like what do you even learn on earth? Don't answer that, it was more a question for myself than you. OK before we get side tracked. The angels got put over old pop's leg and got a big whack on the arse in the form of not being aloud to directly effect creation anymore. They have to use their puny avatars to do that for em, ya know heroes and demi gods tastless things by their own right. And me well I got banished to the mighty reaches of the realm to think about what I did.
"So like a timeout?"
Ya know for a puny mortal spirit ya seem to have a big mouth on ya it'd be a shame if something where to happen to it.
"........"
I think we've got an understanding yes.
"........."
Good.
So on top of being banished I was also forced to use avatars, which well suited me fine since I'd been using em since the beginning. A demon lord here, a new race there, global warming everywhere else and boom kassogtha's ya uncle. And the angels, well they didn't really appreciate the gifts I bestowed upon creation so have been responding in kind. Which is how things have been for a few 1000yr's give or take 10'000. Oh and well just between you and me I don't really care about winning I'm just having fun messing with them, the fuckin idiots can't let anything go. So with that brief history over any other questions?
"......."
Don't worry I don't smite beings very often as long as you don't offend me you'll be fine.
"S,so.. uh, why am I. Here?"
Cause ya did something stupid and got rejected from the heaven fan club, don't worry it's over rated up there. What with their no torture policy they must be bored out of their minds. Nothing like having your skin peeled off your flesh to make ya feel alive aye.
"......."
Don't you love it when a conversation slides so perfectly into your next point. You won't have to know about it, that is if you sign this little contract, ah don't worry about the fine print ya only have to act as an agent of chaos, just do a few bits and pieces for me here and there, and your reward for serving me so well. Let's just say you met an untimely demise and end up back here then you won't be volunteered to experience any of the horrors that'l rip your messly puny soul to pieces should you say no.
"........."
Good, here's a knife just a drop along the dotted line would be perfect. Careful, the inks hot.