Novels2Search
The Casual
Chapter 13: Dammit Tolkien!

Chapter 13: Dammit Tolkien!

Have I told you that I hate developers not saying everything on the tooltips? Well, I do.

My brilliant plan to command an army of kuns and chans and trample through all opposition on the forest failed miserably the second I tried to summon my fifth elemental. Stupid, arbitrary, restrictions only allowed four simultaneous elementals, which cost me a whole waterskin worth of water just to get back the poor Liquid-chan who was the unlucky fellow that transformed into a puddle of water when I tried to summon a Dirt-kun.

So, now, my army consisted of a Dirt-kun, a Flame-kun, a Windy-chan and a Liquid-chan. 

I don't know if it is the elementalism skill level, my M.Att, or the time I had them train against each other until they had completed their individual 'styles', but whatever the reason, they can pretty much solo a wolf at this point.

Speaking of wolves, the map is amazing! Soooo easy to simply navigate towards their marked locale, and then track them down with the assistance of Dirt-kun. Alas, if only I had that thing before, when I was desperately in need of wolves. Now, they more or less played the part of the rabbits.

For the purposes of the test, I actually picked a pack of four roaming wolves. Stealth, camouflage and rogue stance were enough to get me a breath away and plant a trap just a few meter away. I created an illusion of a bleeding copy of a smaller me, using a water elemental as my element of choice, which made for some pretty realistic 'blood' that trickled down my wounds. Well, that bit was mostly a failure, the actual image could hardly be seen as humanoid, the degree of lack of my expertise in the skill showing. Despite that, the bloody image was enough for the wolves and got them rushing towards it, which of course was positioned right above a certain thing that I've planted. 

The deathtrap killed one by itself and wounded the one directly behind it. I waited for the rest to pass by me as they spotted the elementals and then I jumped and backstabbed the last one, leaving my elementals to deal with the other two. As the wolf howled in pain, a quick slash grazed over the same spot that his fur had split, I reversed the grip on my dagger, bringing it down forcibly right between two ribs, and I continued to slash upwards, freeing my dagger from the flesh of the wolf.

In the blink of the eye, two large, gaping, wounds were bleeding profusely. Almost painstakingly slowly, the wolf managed to turn and face me, and with a burst of movement, he lunged towards my dagger-hand, grabbing it into his mouth, but not even managing to break the leather handguards, let alone skin. With my free hand, I pulled an air dart which flew right onto his exposed neck, creating another massive wound. And taking the opportunity of another yelp, which freed my hand, I brought down the dagger, stabbing and slashing once more, killing the wolf. 

Looking over, all the elementals except Dirt-kun had focused down the already wounded by the trap wolf. Meanwhile, Dirt-kun was valiantly standing his ground against the full-health wolf, although I could easily see that the poor elemental had taken quite some damage already.  

Never the heartless one, I decided to help Dirt-kun with his struggle, and test Elemental Playground again. This time, creating the visual image of a flame directly on top of the wolf. It was spectacular, and even a bit too brutal for my tastes, but as the illusionary flames embraced the poor animal, inflicting him the pain of being burned, he immediately started rolling to the ground and running frantically around. Unfortunately for him, for the full 10 seconds, that was the duration of the illusion, the flames never died or stopped hurting as hell. Even after they magically disappeared, the mental damage seemed to have been way too high for the poor wolf, it was panting for breath, his mind focused on only one thing, escaping. Which I actually let him do. No matter if it was VR or not, the spectacle of the wolf howling in pain and thrashing wildly about was a bit too much.

It seemed wolves were actually farmable now if I wished to do so. But wolves lacked the main thing that made a target appealing at this point, monster stones. I only had eleven of them, and there were so many applications for them that I wanted to try. But the fear that the elven trainers might, like the Witch, only accept those stones for payment, was making me hold on to them for dear life. So, even though the wolves still gave me full xp and some materials, they had to be spared... for now.

Checking my map again, I decided to head towards the elven village using a quite substantial detour, just so that I could pass by the points Mark had marked as goblin sighting spots. 

The first two spots were empty, But on my way to the third one, I actually managed to hear their squeaking little voices from some place towards my right.  I carefully stealthed my way towards there, and after a while, while pushing some undergrowth away, I was rewarded with a splendid sight. A full camp of six goblins was busy squeaking to each other. Two of them seemed to be arguing about something, pushing each other. One of them was keeping guard, and by that I mean he was staring towards infinity, a blank gaze etched into his stupid yellow eyes. Another one was picking his teeth with his rusted dagger. And one was going about his business. The last one was a special case of his own, apparently trying to pick up a fight with a tree, as he yelled at it and repeatedly smacked his club at the massive trunk.

Using my fight with the wolves as a basis, I started planting a bomb on the ground, but as I was finishing, the 'guard' goblin yelled in pain, an arrow stuck on its chest. And then it simply dropped dead.

Almost in sync, the goblins let whatever they were doing, and turned towards the point of origin, some place opposite to me in regards to the clearing.

I was still stunned in place, a cold shiver running through my back from the second I saw the arrow, but as I slowly turned towards the place the goblins were looking at, I couldn't see anything. Sitting still, praying to not be noticed, I watched as another arrow flew through the canopy, striking another goblin, this time on his arm.

Slowly, I realized that unlike the arrow that had killed me before, those arrows looked distinctively different. Instead of a straight shaft with a steel head, those looked like raw, fresh, twigs. 

As the goblins started running towards the direction the arrow had come from, the twig on the goblin's arm twitched as it started rapidly growing.

Before the goblins even managed to get out of the tiny clearing, two more had growing twigs on their bodies, and almost simultaneously, the twigs violently moved towards the ground, where they started growing roots, planting the three goblins firm on the ground.

Always brave, one of the two goblins that were still able to run, turned tail and started running for his life, towards the opposite direction the arrows had come. Which incidentally, put him right on the path for me and my trap. Panicking, I jumped backwards, trying my best to keep my cover intact, but I still managed to see the shadow of a humanoid jumping from above one tree right on top of the charging goblin, dropping it prone.

Holding the goblin still under his boot, the archer calmly pulled his bow fully, and planted a twig arrow right on the goblin's head, executing it. Then he turned towards the fleeing goblin and once more pulled his bowstring back, but before he could release, a grand explosion, signifying that the goblin had reached the trap, forced him to jump for cover behind one of the trees on his right.

Meanwhile, the three rooted goblins were still struggling to break the vines that had them, face first, planted on the ground. 

From somewhere towards where the archer had disappeared, a youthful, full of energy voice sounded "Who's there?"  

Obviously, I wasn't stupid enough to answer. I simply slowly tried to circle around, as silently as I could, trying to get to a point where I could get at least some visual confirmation on him. The thing that worried me the most was that I could definitely hear some muffled chanting noises from behind the tree he was hidden.

All of the sudden, a knob in a tree in front of me opened up. The wooden rings looking uncannily like an eye.

"Oh! Hey! It's a natural brother!" The archer's voice sounded once more, only this time much more cheerful. "Worry not brother, I'll slay the goblins that plague our forest and then we can chat, after all, obviously you're on the same sacred mission as me!"

And, without a care in the world, I saw him moving, fully exposed towards the center of the clearing, decapitating the, still struggling, goblins using a thin, long, knife.

He was quite tall for an elf, almost a meter and eighty centimeters high. And through the leaf-shaped scales of his armor, you could see muscles bulging, making him look more like an athletic bodied human rather than the usually lanky elves. From the distance, you could only describe him as... green. Each leaf on his scale chest was painted a different shade of green, he had, long, laurel green, braided hair, and the rest of his leather armor was a very dark moss green shade, textured like the bark of the trees.

His unexpectantly unguarded stance short circuited my brain. Baffled, and thinking that he either was a genius assassin or a moron, I walked out of my hiding spot and moved towards the macho elf. Afterall, I was pretty sure that through the creepy knob-eye he had seen perfectly where I was already.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

From close up, you could really see his elven characteristics having a deadly struggle with the rest of his body. It was like an elf having taken steroids, where muscles were fighting with the elegant and sharp bone structure of the race, the usually thin pointy ears appearing weirdly sized on his massive head, and the usually soft hair being micro braided just looked... wrong. 

As I approached, he finished pocketing the monster core from the dirt and turned towards me, smiling. 

For some unknown reason, while the rest of him was... green... his eyes were a dazzling shade of bright, almost translucent, blue. Which was painfully miss-matched and made him appear like an alien.

"Hello natural brother!" He, over-enthusiastically, almost-shouted from point-blank range.

"Yeah, you said that before. What makes us 'natural brothers'?" I said, one eye still glued on the bow that was resting behind his back, and looked more like it was grown instead of made, and the other on the very sharp, and very pointy, elegant silvery long dagger he had on his hand.

"Well, we're both on the side of nature, so natural brothers!" He exclaimed, apparently with the whole overly-enthusiast theme going strong still.

"Wouldn't that makes us nature's brothers?"

"...Oh. Maybe? Not sure. Regardless, I'm happy to see you!" Yeah, I can see that. Tone down the sunlight would you? "My name is xXLegolassXx13. What's your name brother?" Oh, a user! And such a name...

"...What happened to the other twelve?" I said as I smirked

"What?"

"Nevermind, explaining a joke makes it bad. Name's Alex by the way."

"What was the joke about? It's been a long time since I've heard a good one!"

"And it'll be more time still. My joke was lame as fuck. It was about your name."

"What about my name? When I descended above those lands, a Goddess proposed it to me after my old name was taken."

Wait... the AI suggested me names that ended with 35. Don' tell me...

"Hey! Don't tell me you're thirteen!"

With that, his eyes popped out of his face, looking me with eyes gleaming with amazement.

"Brother! You have skills that can see through the veil of the worlds?" 

Seriously, what's with his way of speaking... Ohhhh, fuck me, it's a role player! A child role player!

"No, it was your name, once more."

"My name? What abou... oh. OOOOOH. As expected from a wildkin. You're very perceptive."

"Seriously, stop it with the rp. Are you fine being on this server at your age? Do your parents know about what's going on here?"

"Alas, I met no parents. As a lost soul, I am but a fragment given life by the very earth itself. BUT beyond the veil, I know that in my past lives, my mother was a greater God, and she has given me her blessings."

"Seriously, cut it with the rp, I can only understand half of what you're saying. You basically said that your mom said it's ok for you to be here?"

"As one of the greater Gods, the ones even the minor deities call reverently as Devs, she whispered in my dreams that she can look after me in here."

"Waitwaitwait. Your mother is a developer? For RealLifeIII? Answer with a simple yes or no!" 

He seemed to struggle a bit like something was trying to force its way out of his mouth and eventually he answered "This Lost soul has memories of many lives. One from before this world even existed, from beyond the veil, one before the second cataclysm, and even one that mirrored this world exactly but was reset. But in all of them, his mother is a developer here, yes." 

"Once more, because you keep spouting nonsense. You are a living human being, using a virtual reality console, and your mother is a developer for ReaLifeIII, and she said it's ok for you to stay here? If you answer with anything other than a yes or no I'm gonna smack you in the head."

"...yes." He said dejected, his eyes glued on the ground.

"THANK YOU!" Ok, finally I felt a bit better about leaving him to his business.

"Ok, sorry for hiding earlier but I had a bad run with an archer around those parts earlier. See ya" I said as I turned to leave.

"Wait! I've heard about it from other elves. A trespasser on our holy forest that uses man-made arrows to kill Lost souls. I've been hunting him as Nature's guardian, but I had no luck finding him out."

Hmm? What's with the title? Is there an achievement I should aim for in the elven village?

"Nature's guardian? That's a thing? Like a title or something?"

"No. I'm guarding the forest against all threats, goblins, trespassers, stuff like that. Hence, nature's guardian! The goblins may not be rewarding me with soul strength anymore, but they are a threat to the balance, and they must be hunted down!"

"Yeah... Now that you mentioned it, I was wondering about that. You really look like you have a cheat skill with that root on your arrows. What level are you?"

He pulled his bow with a fast and fluid motion. It really was a single piece of wood that seemed to naturally curve out like a hunting bow. It was covered in several thin vines that formed an intricate pattern along its surface, almost as delicate as lacework. The moment he grabbed the bow from its handle, one of the vines shot up from one of the edges of the bow and tied itself on the other, stringing it by itself. He casually pulled the vine string back, and from the handle, where his hand was, an unmistakably sharp and straight twig grew backwards, towards him. As the twig naturally reached and rested upon the string, he released it, launching the arrow towards a tree. The arrow penetrated lightly the tree, and then the twig started growing, becoming one with the tree, as it changed into a tiny little branch.

He DEFINATELY looked smug as he turned towards me.

"When I look into my soul, it says that I'm eleven. And I don't understand why you think that my leaf sniper skill is a cheat. I've forged my soul over and over to get it. The energies of the magic of nature, my mastery of the bow, even my technique of hiding, all helped to evolve my ability to wield living plants as ammunition and command them."

"So, a combination skill of sneak, bow and nature magic?"

"...amongst others. I tried to replicate the skills of an old memory, a memory from before the world got reset, but it came out as something different, and maybe a bit weaker than what I had before. Still, yes, I can command my arrows to entrap my foes, or to poison them, or to restrict them, and in the future, I can even make the twigs blossom inside the flesh of my enemies! Cool right?"

Hey! That 'cool' was definitely out of character!

"Ok, whatever. I'm not really into PvP, so good luck on your hunt."

"Wait! The archer you faced before. Did he hit you squarely on the back, between the shoulder blades?"

"...He did hit me on my back, hell if I know if it was on my shoulder blades or whatever. Why?"

"Damn! So, it's true..."

"What's true?"

"Everyone reports the same. It seems he has some skill of his own, where his arrows snake around cover and always land on your back. Maybe... I'm not strong enough to face him alone. PLEASE! Help!"

"If you are afraid of dying then level someplace else? From what I gather, goblins shouldn't even give you any xp afterall."

"I can't... I'm on a sacred mission. I need to go to where those vile abominations have spawned in great numbers and defeat their warlord. I've neglected this mission for a very long time, two whole days, and now I'm running out of time. And despite me growing so much in power those two days, I heard that their warlord grows much faster than any Lost soul can muster. If we don't kill him fast, he'll be able to raise an army to sent to the village!"

"Wait... by abominations spawning in numbers, you mean those goblins?"

"Yes! The blights upon our fair garden!"

"...It seems, afterall, that I'll be joining you... nature's brother, on this, ehm, sacred hunt! Lead the way!"

The macho elf raised his hands towards the sky, and with a deep voice, completely different than the usual high pitched enthusiastic one that he was talking so far, he started praying. "Oh mother earth, old oak, and wise owl, please grant this brother of mine the vision of the rough path we must follow in order to save this little garden."

xXLegolassXx13 wants to share the quest "The ruler of Goblins" with you. Do you accept? Y/N

Dear God... what am I getting myself into?

Yes.

xXLegolasXx13 invites you to a party. Accept? Y/N

Yes.

"Ok, to start, there's no way I'm calling you that. What's your actual name?"

"xXLegol..."

"Nope. Not gonna happen. Try again."

"Why?!"

"Your fault for picking that name. Now choose another."

"But in the classic literature he was a..."

"I know who he was. Still a nope."

"...How about Keros?"

"I can work with that."

Finally, a normal sounding name.

"It comes from..."

Almost reflexively I raised my hand to stop him.

"Don't care."

Did he seriously just pouted because I didn't let him tell his story?! I feel like I'm bullying a kid here! It's going to be a long quest...

Happy thoughts. Goblins, goblins goblins, goblins, goblins, goblins. 

"Brother... your smile is creeping me out."

Waking up from my happy vision of endless monster cores on little green feet, I noticed that there was a translucent tiny party screen on the top left of my vision.

The moment I tried to focus on it, it smoothly moved in front of me, magnifying itself as it did so. Three names and health bars, one of which was greyed out were clearly visible on it.

"So... who's Spitha?"

"She's a temporal ally back in the village. She assisted me in subjugating some filthy lizardmen."

"We're waiting for her?"

"Nah, unlike us who are bound by our morals to protect the forest, she's just a human. She can't understand the importance of our cause."

"..."

"She also thinks that goblins are too weak to test her mettle."

"..."

"She refused to come because she doesn't get xp from the goblins."

"There! Was it so hard? Whatever, let's go before someone steals our prey!"

"May the Gods grant us steady aim and swift death to our enemies!"