Do you ever think about the words that are used to define you? People love descriptions, they use them for everything without a single thought about the blessing or curse they can be. Calling a man brave can make him move mountains, face the impossible and prevail over and over again. Calling a man brave can also get him killed in a parking lot, oozing out his guts all over something worthless like 2 bucks. Descriptions stick to you like a spurned lover, for better or worse.

I've had many words used to define me, some call me a fraud, others a savior. Clever and stupid, witty or slow. They've all been applied to me like paint to a tapestry and thrown like accusations at a priest. All my big talk aside, at the end of the day no matter how others or even ourselves describe us, it's the actions we choose that truly define us. Sometimes it's a bundle of them, stacking together like unread books in a study. Each one leading to the other, stacking up into a truly impressive array that everyone can see and clearly define as you see each step. Every little memory rubbing against each other until a clear picture is there for all to see.

Oftentimes however, at least in my humble experience, it's one moment that truly defines us to ourselves and those around us. Sometimes a blazing moment, other times a quiet whimper, it can even seem random what action sticks out as the defining one to those who know you, have heard of you, or even yourself.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

I have done a lot in my life, more than most, certainly more than any other in my family has done. Most of the things I have done have been in the service of good, I like to think, whatever that actually means in the grand scale of things.Others I can not take back, never will, they haunt and eat away at my soul, feasting upon its corpse with the ravenous nature of a thousand starving vultures.

Talking is one of my great insufferable traits or so I'm told by many, so I will get to the point with the intro of this little journal entry. I need a place to write down my life, to write about the unknown horrors of this world. My whole life I thought I was John Connely the problem solver. John Connely the wannabe private investigator, the conman, so many things I have been labeled throughout my career and life. However, it's one job that truly defined me. That showed me a side of this world I was not supposed to see, that cursed me with the knowledge that wlll forever damn me.

Let me tell you the story of John Connely the coward.