Prologue: Happy Days
“Are you ready?” said a gentle voice.
Looking at the goddess before me, the memories of how I’d gotten where I was returned to me.
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11pm, New Years Eve.
Looking out the window of my apartment, I could see them.
People. Lots of them.
Wearing colourful clothes, and chattering amongst themselves, it was a big contrast to myself.
Standing alone in my apartment, with only the light of my laptops monitor to illuminate the room. My appearance is the very definition of the word “hopeless.”
Shoulders slouched, check. Back arched, check. Pot belly, check. Eyes red, check. And the list only keeps going.
What is the point in me living if I’m not even living?
Closing the curtains, I layed down on my bed, and stared at the ceiling.
I don’t know how much time passed as I layed there, but the cheering of the people outside taunted me the whole time.
Looking at the ceiling I started to speak, loud enough so that only I could hear it, not that anyone else was listening anyway. Why would anyone care about me?
“Why me? Why do I have to suffer?”
I don’t know who I was talking to, but deep down I wished that someone would respond. Anyone.
But all I get in response is silence, and the taunting cheer of the people outside.
My life isn’t bad. I watch the news, and thus I know of people starving and enduring conditions much worse then mine. However, just because I know that doesn’t mean I feel any better. Infact, it actually makes me feel worse at times. How selfish of me to cry about my life being bad when others are dieing?
I can’t help it though, that’s just the way I feel.
The cheering of the people outside is still going on, and in my mind an idea begins to come forward. I’d always had this idea, lingering in the back of my mind. Every time it pushed itself forward I’d push it back, but not this time. This time I think I’ll let it foster.
Time passed, and the idea in my mind continued to grow. Reinforcing itself, proving its worth to me.
Since when did I have to let myself feel this way?
I could end it all.
Standing up I left my apartment. I don’t bother to grab my keys, I have no intention of coming back anyway.
Am I acting too hastily? Should I stop and think for a second- no, don’t stop. If I stop I might have doubts and push back my only chance at salvation.
I keep walking towards the elevator. The building I live in is a highrise apartment complex, and I don’t want to exhaust myself climbing the stairs. I don’t want to give myself time to think.
Hopping in the elevator I select the topmost floor. Number seventy seven. A couple minutes later and I’m walking out the elevator doors towards the rooftop access.
Stopping for a second, I read the words on the door.
“EMERGENCY EXIT ALARM WILL SOUND IF DOOR IS OPENED.”
Holding the handle of the door, my anxiety peaks. There’s no going back once I push this door open, but that’s exactly what I need.
RING RING RING
The sound of the alarm going off signals my entry to the apartments rooftop, and thus the final phase of my plan.
The people cheering haven’t stopped, and it seems the sound of the alarm can’t be heard over their voices. Perfect. I don’t want any attention anyway.
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As I step towards the edge of the building, and climb over the railing which barely reaches my waist, I can make out what the people below me are saying.
It’s a countdown. For me? No, they’re counting down to new years. It’s at this time that people make their new year's resolutions if I recall. Well if I was going to be here, mine would be to complete my bucket list. To do all the things I never was able to push myself to do before.
But I can’t ponder over this for too long, after all, I have something I need to do.
Before I take my final step to salvation, I look up at the sky. At the same time I can feel a single tear leave my eye, and streak down my cheek. Once again speaking to myself, I say just one word.
“Sorry.”
I take that last step, and the sound of the people below me counting down can be barely heard over the sound of the wind against my ears.
“Five!”
I close my eyes, and stop thinking.
“Four!”
“Three!”
“Two!”
But no matter what, I can’t resist having one final thought.
“One!”
I don’t want to die.
“Zero!”
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And that is how I ended up here.
Standing before a goddess whose beauty alone could leave the world stunned for an eternity. I don’t know where I am, but I’m standing on a completely flat white plane, with the midnight sky above me twinkling happily.
I can’t leave such a beauty waiting any longer, thus I answer her question, having made up my mind the moment she saved me.
“Yeh, I’m ready.”
The goddess smiles, and the sheer magnificence of it makes me want to cry. I’ve never felt so happy before.
“Don’t cry, I will give you your wish,” said the goddess.
My wish. A chance to do all the things I never pushed myself to do. The chance to live my life. The chance to complete my bucket list.
I never actually wrote a list of all the things I wish I’d done, and thus my bucket list isn’t an actual physical object with everything written down. It’s simply a memory of the things I wish I had pushed myself to do.
“Come here,” said the goddess.
Holding her arms out wide, the goddess beckoned me to hug her.
I gladly oblige.
Holding me against herself the goddess wrapped her arms around me, and I remained silent as she spoke once again.
“Good luck in your future endeavors young man. I cannot give you everything, nor can I make it easy for you, but I trust that will not stop you in achieving what you want.”
The goddess kissed me on my forehead, and with that, everything went black, as I started my new life.
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I’ve never written in first person before since I’m used to only reading stories in third person, thus this was another experiment for me. Tell me how it went? I debated switching this to third person but kept it in first cause I was too lazy.
Also I in no way encourage jumping off the rooftop of buildings, nor do I take responsibility for anyone who attempts such an act after reading this.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who reads. I'm unsure if I will continue this as my computer access is inconsistent at the moment.