She remembered the time from before she knew she was different. Curled up beside her mother, warm and full of milk, she lived in safety and darkness, filled with the squeaks and gentle breathing of a dozen siblings. Then the Light came, and the Monster killed the large one, the father and protector of them all. Her mother and the other adults ran, leaving her and the rest of the squalling pups in their nests, cold and abandoned.
She had no understanding of death, not then, though she knew the father was too still, too silent. She huddled down in her nest, trying her tiny legs, where soft copper fuzz almost completely concealed her pink skin, and wondered if she could leap away if the Monster came for her.
The answer was no. She was grabbed before she even had a chance to leap, and squealed in protest at this abrupt and terrifying change in her small, safe life. Something cold was pushed onto her front limb, where it grew tight, and then she was placed back into her nest by gentle paws. How could a creature who had just murdered the large one be so gentle?
The Monster filled her nest with food, and though she still ate her mother’s milk, she had also, tentatively, begun to try the bits of ore and plants the large one brought back, and many of these things smelled very tasty. She ignored them all, however, pressing back against the quivering bodies of her siblings, staring up with huge eyes until the Monster turned and left, taking its painfully bright light with it.
Never before had the darkness been frightening. It seemed to have weight, filled as it was with the scent of blood. It pressed down on her, and she could barely breathe beneath it. Her siblings, those smaller, less mature creatures, with their tender pink skin and half-open eyes, only called for their missing mother, seemingly unaware of the larger change that had come upon them.
She didn’t know how long it took for her mother to return. Time was a thing she only discovered later. Then, things happened, or they didn’t, and her mind seemed to drift away during the periods of inactivity, filled with nothing but the urge to eat or sleep.
So she ate. The others still needed milk, but she was beyond them already, somehow, though she was still unaware of her peculiarity. Her siblings grew weaker, their calls coming less often as they faded away, but she survived on what the Monster left, and when their mother did come back, she was no longer dependent on her in the same way as the others.
Which was fortunate, because her mother wanted nothing to do with her. Where before her difference had been a matter of growing more quickly, becoming aware sooner than the others, now there was something more, a visible change that she couldn’t understand, but the other fuergar could. Her mother pushed her from the nest, but her legs were strong now, and she landed on her paws.
None of the others knew what to do with her. Some seemed frightened of her, while others bared their teeth and snapped if she got close. They knew she was one of them, could smell it on her, her history, her sameness, but that difference was now something they were all very aware of.
She stayed with them. That was something her instincts told her, and though she was slowly becoming aware enough to question those urges that had no reason behind them, she knew this one was important. Safety lay in numbers. Many teeth, many claws, could bring down a foe much larger than any one of them.
She grew. She learned where the ore veins were, and again, her instincts told her which ones were best to eat. Which ones would make her strong. Her mind began to comprehend, understand things even the older fuergar couldn’t. There were a few others, a bit like her, but not like her. Different.
And then she began to wonder. What else might be out there? Were there other fuergar like her? Other metals to eat? Where had the Monster gone, and why had it chosen her to change? She questioned, and not only did she have no way to communicate these questions to the others, they would have had no answers for her, because they didn’t care. They lived, and that was enough.
So she left at last. She didn’t bother to try to tell the others, explain why or where she went. Once she was gone, they would forget her, just as they had the large one, and the Monster.
She had no direction, no plan, but she found that her paws led her up. The few times she found a passage that went down, something larger and fiercer than herself was there, and she had to scurry away, hiding in crevices or using her strong teeth to defend herself.
Up and up, until she found a place where more Monsters lived. There were dozens of them, living together in a cave much like fuergar, though they built their nests around them, rather than simply piling up moss to sleep on. She spent days watching them, until the little ones, the ones not much larger than she was, caught sight of her.
At first they were frightened, but then, like the first Monster, they approached. Two of them trapped her in a tunnel near an ore vein, and she huddled down, teeth bared and tail lashing in warning. The two Monsters were small, though they still seemed large to her, and they barked and yipped at one another excitedly as they held out their hands. One held metal, and the other held meat, and she remembered the first Monster giving her food. That one hadn’t hurt her, though it could have, so perhaps it was safe to trust these as well?
A mistake! As soon as she allowed the metal-bearing Monster close enough, he grabbed the back of her neck in a painful grip. Letting out an exultant yelp, he held her up, examining her, then tugged at the thing the first Monster had put around her forelimb.
It hurt. She had tried removing the round thing herself, then tried eating it once she realized that it was metal. She only succeeded in cutting her leg with her own teeth, and this Monster had no better luck now. The second Monster came to help, holding her in place as they pulled at her leg, and she summoned strength she hadn’t been aware she had. It seemed to flow up from her belly, thrusting the Monsters away, and she squealed angrily at them as she ran away.
Her strength faded as she ran, leaving her empty and weak, and she crawled into a crevice that smelled thickly of fuergar. Not her fuergar, because she had left them far behind, but still a familiar scent. Something like safety, for a moment at least.
She slept, and when she woke, she found that she was starving in a way she hadn’t before. She needed metal, rich and pure and dense, and her nose told her which way to go to find it. She nibbled at plants as she went, even found a few small grubs to eat, but the ore she craved called to her, leading her ever onward.
The ore was tasty. Even her metal-coated teeth struggled to bite chunks of it off, but when they did, she swallowed it greedily. It filled the hollowness in her stomach, and she ate and ate until she created a hollow herself. A hollow that filled a hollow, and a hollow that let her rest. She curled up, surrounded by the metal that had called to her, and slept.
Her mind and body changed. Time began to make sense as something more than just a space between the fulfillment of vital urges and curiosity. The vague questions that drove her away from her birthplace became more specific, especially one: Where had the Monster come from?
She ate, and she slept. She wondered, and she dreamed. Dreamed of things she could never have imagined, if she could have understood what an imagination was. Small creatures, smaller than her, yet larger, with tiny eyes and fur even softer and finer than her own. They wrapped themselves in something that was not-fur, and she hated them.
Hate was new. Fear she certainly understood. Affection even, though that was based more in familiarity and safety than any true warmth. The momentary flush of anger when the little Monsters grabbed her, or another fuergar took something she wanted. But hate? It lingered in a way the others didn’t. It took time.
And then she ran out of metal. She had eaten it all, every bit that she could reach or smell. She would have to leave again, and the only direction she had this time was away from hate. Hate was down, so she went up.
Life grew easier. It was like the other creatures became weaker and weaker as she ascended. She no longer had to fear even the flying beasts, who came out of nowhere and screamed at her. The first time she met one, only the fact that she had just emerged from a crack too small for it to follow had saved her. Now, no matter how they screamed, she pressed her ears closed with her paws and bit at them until they flew away.
She learned to access the power that lurked in her belly. It seemed to grow stronger when she ate better, purer metals. Fortunately, there was plenty here, and though she found no more of the metal that had called to her after the Monsters assaulted her, she never went hungry, and she continued to grow. When she needed it, she could use the power in her belly to become even stronger, though she always paid for it with exhaustion and hunger.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
In her wanderings, she found more Monsters. Whole nests of them, living their lives just as her kind did. She watched them, fascinated, though she never again allowed one to approach her. They seemed excited when they caught sight of her, and while some of the small ones attempted to entice her with various kinds of food, none of them tried to attack her. Indeed, the larger ones seemed more frightened than anything else, and often ran away, howling.
She smelled something. Different. Fresh. Lifting her nose, she turned toward the scent, seeing a narrow crack in the wall. She touched it with a forelimb, the soft light of a nearby clump of moss allowing her to see the soft golden scales that her sense of touch assured her weren’t actually there. She didn’t know why her eyes and her nose and her tongue told her such different things about herself, but the thinking she had done, the wondering, led her to conclude that it had something to do with the original Monster, and the metal band it put on her leg.
A cold, strange-smelling gust of air blew over her leg, ruffling fur hidden beneath the appearance of scales. She shivered, but it was a pleasant sensation, and a new one. In her experience, air didn’t move unless some creature moved it, but her dreams told her that things could be different. Could be like this.
She took a bite of the wall. It was stone, with no hint of the ore she found so delicious, but it wasn’t the first rock she had chewed through to get to something she wanted, so she simply continued on. Instead of eating it, she let the dust fall around her paws, feeling it scrape against her belly as she widened the crack to a crevice, then a narrow, her-sized tunnel.
She slipped through, and found that the crack widened, just a bit. She had to continue chewing, but she was curious now, more curious than she had been about anything in her life. What was she smelling? What made the air move?
A distant howling sound reached her, and she wondered if she was heading for another nest of the Monsters. They sounded a bit like this, but also not, and she bit and chewed until her nose popped out into open air.
Instantly, she drew it back, and a soft light streamed in through the opening. It wasn’t as bright as one of the Monsters’ lights, but it was far brighter than the plants or glow worms. She took a step back, and then the howling came, and air blew.
It was fierce and cold, trying to bite at her through her fur, but there was something about it… An openness, a freedom that she suddenly craved with a terrible hunger. With fresh determination, she chomped at the small hole with her hard teeth, tearing away chunks of stone that clattered down into empty space on the other side.
She thrust out her head, her soft ears pushed flat against her head by the sharp edges of the hole. She ignored the uncomfortable sensation, staring out at the world beyond.
Everything about it was strange. She had seen a hundred steep drop-offs in the tunnels and crevices hidden within her home, but this one was entirely different. The ground simply fell away, ending in something that looked soft and gray. More air blew against her, and she filled her lungs with a cold, clean, damp scent. Nothing lived here, but there was more space than she had imagined might exist.
If it hadn’t been dark, it might have been frightening. A soft, round light hung in the air above her. It seemed close enough that she might jump up and take a bite out of it, but also terribly far away, in that way that everything out here was far away. All around the big light, hanging in the darkness like glow worms, were uncountable smaller lights. Some of them flickered like the Monsters’ lights, while others held steady. Some were barely bright enough to be seen, while others shone with a clear, bright gleam.
Awed, she stared up, creeping one little paw into the open, always aware that she could duck back into her tunnel, scurry away from this terrifying, breathtaking expanding of her horizons.
And then something dropped around her neck, drawing taut when she tried to retreat. Choking, she began to thrash, but strong hands grasped her, holding tight as she squeaked and fought, jaws gaping as they tried to find something to bite.
Sounds came from behind her. They were sharp and hissing at first, then, after the hands took hold of her, lifting her up, they became softer, questioning. Sharp-taloned fingers prodded at her, pulling at the fur beneath the illusion of scales, and one intrusive hand gripped her tail and tugged. Then she was hanging from her tail, swinging wildly as she curled back up on herself, straining to bite the one who held her.
That one gave her a sharp shake, hissing angrily, and she was thrust into the face of a second one of the creatures, finally allowing her to see one clearly. It was scaly, as she seemed to be, though the scales were larger, lifting from the skin in small bumps, rather than lying in small, smooth curves. It had a long snout, and a forked tongue flicked out, seeming to taste the air. It was tall, taller even than the Monsters, but had a similar shape and walked on its hind legs, as they did. Its tail was thick and meaty, striking the ground powerfully as it drew back, hissing at her scent.
The two creatures, one with dark green scales, and the other mottled brown, hissed and barked back and forth in harsh but sibilant voices. The green one holding her repeatedly dangled her over the precipice beside them, but each time the brown one reached out and pulled the green one’s arm back. The green seemed to think it was a game, but she and the brown creature disagreed.
At last, the brown-scaled lizard-Monster hauled the green back from the edge bodily, and in the tussle, she nearly managed to escape. She had all four paws beneath her, but her head was spinning from being held upside-down for so long, and her limbs refused to obey her, taking her in a circle rather than a straight line.
A hand took hold of the back of her neck, loosening something she hadn’t even realized was there. It was whatever the green one had used to catch her in the first place: a loop drawn through a long, hollow tube. Brown-scales thrust it back at green, then dropped her into a small cage. She spun, snapping at the bars, but they were hard, harder than any metal she had tried to eat before. Still, she gnawed at them, glaring up at the two creatures who stared back down, one serious, and one emitting hissing laughter.
The brown-scaled creature lifted something to its mouth, then blew sharply. A high whistle soared into the clear air, and a moment later a shriek responded from somewhere below. She couldn’t see whatever made that shriek, but she drew back from the bars, ceasing her furious gnawing for the first time since she’d been caged. She turned, casting terrified glances around until something huge and dark dropped from above, momentarily blocking out the distant lights.
An enormous head thrust into the brown-scaled creature’s chest, almost knocking the lizard-Monster down. The reptilian staggered back, saying something in its harsh, sibilant tongue, but patted the head with no sign of fear or hesitation.
The cage containing her was lifted up, then a piece of some long, flexible material was fed through a loop on the top and tied to the flying lizard. The brown and green creatures climbed aboard, settling themselves between the huge lizard’s wings, and they all began to rise as those wings unfurled and began to sweep through the air.
The ground fell away, leaving her legs dangling in the cold air as they flew. Her belly pressed against the bars beneath her, and she scrambled to get to her paws. The metal was strangely slick, her delicate paws slipping again and again, no matter how agile she usually was. Feeling as if she would simply fall into the depths below, she grabbed onto the bar with her mouth. Her power rose up, driven by desperation.
The bar cracked. Only a little, but even in the powerful wind that pressed her against the bars as they flew, she heard it. With renewed determination, she chomped down again and again, and as she did, the puffy whitish-gray things that had hung in the air when she looked down suddenly rose up to surround her, plunging her into shadow.
She gasped, drawing in cold, wet air that tried to freeze in her lungs. Coughing, she bit at the bars, summoning that power from her belly, and one snapped, allowing a small piece to tumble away. Then they were through, back into open air, but another one of the deceptively puffy things hung almost immediately below, and they entered this one as well. Her ears hurt, but then they popped as she worked her jaws, chewing at the bars. She could do nothing else.
Down and down and down they went, until the air was all open and clear below, but above the round ball and the twinkling lights were obscured by dark, floating masses. Not that she could see much, because of the bulk of the flying animal’s body, but as it shifted, her cage would swing out to the side, giving her momentary views of the horizon stretching out to an inconceivably vast distance.
And the circle around her leg, the one that the Monster had put on her a lifetime ago, fell off. It dropped through the air; a tiny, brilliant spark tumbling away from her. She froze, staring at the softly furred paw that gripped the bar on which she was chewing. The fur was no longer the soft, pure copper that she vaguely remembered from the time before the Monster, but rather a pinkish gold shade with a few strands of brilliant silver woven through.
Reaching back, she caught her own tail in her paws, rolling over to stare at the smooth, pink length of it. It was her own. There were no scales, no small, developing spikes, just soft skin, exactly as there was meant to be. She twisted in the small space allowed to her, examining every part of herself with eyes and paws, finding that what she saw finally matched what she touched.
She didn’t see the ground rising up to fill the world until it was too late. There was a loud thud, and then clods of moist earth flew as the flying creature’s clawed feet touched down. Her cage swayed, the small opening she had created allowing her an unobstructed view of the legs of the green-scaled creature as it slid down.
Their eyes met, and they both stilled, staring. The green creature’s mouth gaped, split tongue curling out, and she lunged for the gap in the bars. The sharp ends of the bars gouged deep into her sides, catching and tearing skin. Hot blood poured out, staining her pinkish fur a deep crimson, and when the green-scaled thing reached for her, its hands slipped off, allowing her to fall to the ground.
It hurt. She had rarely been injured, and never before so badly. It stung, too, that these wounds were all but self-inflicted. If she had only continued breaking down the bars rather than becoming caught up in her transformation, the hole would have been large enough for her to escape without being hurt at all.
Something stamped down on her tail, and she squeaked loudly, whipping around to sink her teeth into the thing. Teeth that could break metal met bone, and bone lost, leaving the reptilian on the ground, clutching at his leg while she ran.
It was a pathetic, limping sort of run, but no sound came from behind to indicate that she was being chased. She dashed into something that smelled of dampness and vegetation, a different sort of plant than she was used to, but it still represented freedom and food. Her paws carried her through and forward, on and on, until they gave out, and she stumbled, falling to her side. Something dark, cave-like, loomed ahead, and she dragged herself into it before falling into exhausted unconsciousness.