Jesse grunted once more while he fought against the hay. Maybe he had put too much in, maybe he had miscalculated the amount of fabric he needed, no matter what he had done, the mattress wouldn’t close properly. Tired, he sat back, resting his tired arms limply on his crossed legs. He looked at his artwork. The stitching wasn’t the best; he wished someone had taught him how to sew faster without sacrificing the quality of his stitches, but he did what he could. The stitching was sparser than he would have liked, and the hay fought against the fabric. Jesse moved forward before stopping. He had to test it but what if it broke? Would he have time to repair it before he had to make dinner for the children? He looked outside of his cabin’s window; it was still day, maybe late afternoon, if he was fast enough he could get back to his house before dinner time. With his legs tired from sitting down cross-legged for a long time, Jesse awkwardly shuffled to the mattress and laid on it. He held his breath, waiting for the crack, but it didn’t come. He let it out and allowed himself to relax in it. As soon as he did, he heard the fabric tear apart. He didn’t move for a moment, trying to keep his frustration and anger at a low level before he could move or decide. Jesse took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened them and moved off of the mattress. He inspected the damage, sighed, pulled out some of the hay and closed the tear meticulously. By the time he was fully done, the sun had long set, and the stars shone bright. The man muttered a ‘fuck’ under his breath, stood up too fast for his legs, and with his blood barely regaining his legs, picked up the mattress and stumbled to his house. With one hand, he opened the door as he tried to keep the flimsy mattress off of the ground. He entered the house as silently as he could, trying not to wake up the children. With a glance, he found his matches and lit up a candle or two, just so that he could see a little better. He picked up the mattress and as he turned back around to place it, his heart clenched at the scene. Both of them were sleeping on his bed, holding each other, worry still on their faces. Jesse wished he had saved more people, that he had stayed and defeated every crow, but it would’ve been impossible. He told himself that, yes, he hadn’t saved as many lives as he had wished, but at least those two were safe. At least he had saved someone. With a shake of his head, Jesse walked over to the children and placed the mattress on the floor, and covered the children with a blanket. Right as he did so, his fatigue took him over. He suddenly felt the aching in his back and legs, the heaviness of his eyelids and a deep yawn came over him. He slowly blinked before stretching his aching body, grabbed a blanket and laid down on the mattress he just made. With a mind empty of nightmares, he felt himself start to fall asleep. Something knocked on the door. Jesse furrowed his brows, sometimes creatures from the forest liked to hit his door. Another knock. This time he was a bit more awake, but didn’t move. At the third knock, he stood up fast and stomped toward the door.

“It’s the middle of the night, you better have a good fucking reason to-”

Jesse froze. The door was wide open, his hand still on the handle. In front of him was a ghost of his own past. One with long blond hair and beautiful green eyes, freckles decorating her face. Her eyes met his during an impossibly long amount of time. It was only when he overcame his shock that he noticed the dried blood on her face and clothes, and twigs in her hair.

“What happened?” he whispered, his gaze softening.

A lone sob shook her body and kicked Jesse into action. He instantly brought her inside and sat her on the nearest chair.

“Who is that?” asked Milo, still groggy from his short sleep.

“Darya? Can you hear me?” Jesse asked with a voice he hadn’t used in years as he squatted down to her level.

The woman looked into Jesse’s eyes. Words hung from her lips but never made a sound. Pain contorted her face as tears glided over the dried blood on her face. Jesse hesitated, but he took her in his arms, stroking her filth filled hair.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” he softly reassured her.

A sob coursed through her once more, triggering her to let loose of all the fear she had felt until then. She had lost everything. Everything she had built, her found family, her friends, the love of her life, the work she had put the last ten years of her life into. She had spent her years roaming the Oldeon continent; she had gone to places she had only dreamed of; she had met so many cultures; she had studied their ways and their traditions; she had learned so much from all of them; she had compiled their medicinal ways and had taken years to perfect them just so that every race could be cared for appropriately by healers. She had become a teacher, a master in magicless healing and a leader for new treatments. All of her work was now gone, burned to ashes. Her friends were dead or taken, her family had been torn apart. She felt so alone, devoid of life and joy as the corpses of her friends and patients came back to her. She had lost everything. For a moment, she wished Surya was the one holding her. Maybe she had stumbled upon a hideout she had found before her and had disguised herself. But as she put her hand on Jesse’s flat chest, reality came back to her. She was alone. Alone with the man she had betrayed and then saved ten years ago. The man for whom her Ma had lost her life and risked her granddaughter’s vow to see dead. Her breath slowed down and her body felt empty.

“Let’s wash you, okay?”

The man stood up and went to his kitchen, finding his basin of clear water, took a rag and brought both back to the table where Darya sat. He dipped the rag in the water and went to wash her face but right as he touched her cheek, Darya pulled away, her eyes lost in the void. Jesse put down his rag, letting a small sigh past his lips.

“Do you want me to help?” asked Milo softly, trying to not wake up Elm who still slept deeply.

“Yeah,” the demon reluctantly agreed, “that’d be better I think.”

With a sullen face, Jesse stood up and gave the rag to Milo before standing in the kitchen, looking at the scene from far away. The young boy pulled a chair and sat down in front of her, the rag in his hands.

“Hey, I’m Milo,” he said.

Darya lifted her eyes to meet his, they widened with surprise as she recognized the boy she had stitched back up the night before. Her eyes lowered to his stomach where she had done her work. Her bandages were still there, and she was relieved that no blood had gone through it.

“Someone tried to stab me last night.” he explained, “I passed out, but it’s alright, someone helped me get better.” he smiled.

Darya tried to talk but her lips wouldn’t move. Her body wouldn’t let her speak. Seeing her panic, Jesse wanted to help her but by the time he could even move, she had already spoken.

“I healed you.” she said with a weak voice, forcing the sound out of the throat.

“Thank you,” he replied, “Would you like me to help you clean up?” he asked.

“I’d like to do it myself,” she answered.

Milo nodded and put the rag back down. Jesse understood the situation and heated some water.

“I have a shed in the back, you can wash there for as long as you need to.” Jesse said, “I also have some clothes for you, I don’t think I’ll be able to take blood stains off at that point.” he added with a sorry tone.

Darya nodded, tilting her head forward to thank him.

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“Where is Elm?”

“She’s still sleeping on the bed,” answered Milo.

Darya nodded back. The young boy lowered his eyes, fidgeting with his hands, unsure if he should even ask that was begging him to pass his lips. With a shaky breath he spoke it.

“Did- did you see my family? Our house got raided and my brother got stabbed too, maybe they were brought to you-” Milo stopped when she nodded.

“Luna brought them to the camp, they were both alive the last time I saw them.”

A wave of relief washed over him before his stomach dipped back down again.

“Did you see them during the raid?”

The woman shook her head ‘no’. The sliver of hope he had disappeared. The young boy lowered his head and tried to keep his anguish in as he gripped his fingers tightly. Both Darya and Jesse wanted to reassure him, to tell him all was well and that his family was surely alive and were just waiting for him to come back or even searching for him. But they couldn’t. They couldn’t resolve themselves to lie to him, to bring back a hope that would surely break him once he’d know the truth. His family had more chances to be dead than alive, and they couldn’t hide that. Jesse got startled at the sound of the water finally coming to a boil. He grabbed a rag and wrapped it around the handle of the pot before her turned around and carefully walked over to the basin and emptied the water in, turning the cold water into a nice hot one.

“Milo?”

Jesse broke the trance in which the young boy had put himself into, earning a half lost look for him.

“Take the basin and put it in the cabin for Darya, I’m going to search for clothes she could wear.” he gently asked him.

Milo nodded and took the heavy basin and led Darya out to the cabin behind the house. During this time, Jesse rummaged round his trunk, trying to find clothes Darya would be comfortable in. He found her a shirt, a thin jacket, and try as he might, he couldn’t find any type of skirts. He had never seen her with pants on and was pretty sure she’d feel uncomfortable but he only had pants. With a sigh of resignation, Jesse picked out some pants and folded them neatly on the pile of clothes he had reserved for her. He gently took them and brought them to the cabin where Milo and him left Darya alone for a little while.

Jesse and Milo walked back to the house, and Jesse took out his traveling mattress.

“You can use this to sleep tonight,” he said.

“Where are you going to sleep?”

“I made my own, don’t worry,” he replied as he pointed to his newly made mattress on the floor.

Milo laid on the traveling mattress and Jesse brought him a blanket in which Milo cuddled up. In the matter of seconds, the boy fell into a deep sleep, his breathing joining Elm’s slow rhythm. Jesse looked at them for a few seconds before heading outside. As he walked towards the nearest tree, his breath quickened and he just wanted to scream or run. His legs almost gave up as he finally got there. The painful memories came back to him. Darya’s younger self, Vagraad, Leo, and worst of all, Cecilia. Rage and sadness mixed inside of him just as his past panic came back. He sat down at the foot of the tree and closed his eyes tightly, trying to keep his breathing controlled. He inhaled until his lungs couldn’t, held it, and slowly breathed out, focusing on the feeling in his chest. He repeated the operation a few times, for as long as his panic was still there, and then stopped. In the last ten years, he had met many people. Most of them were afraid at first but none were as kind as that old woman he had met in the Soudal desert. She was harsh when he acted stupidly but was always there to help him when he needed it. She was the first one he had ever told anything about Ravenwood, or even his time as a plaything. She was the closest thing to a mother Cecilia ever was, and he’d be forever grateful for it. Watching her corpse burning to ashes on that funeral pyre had broken him more than he ever thought it would. Jesse opened his eyes, his brain hurting from the strength he had put into closing them. The first thing he saw was the beautiful night sky. The stars peppered its black emptiness and from time to time a cloud obscured it. The demon got lost in his thoughts as he took in their beauty. He welcomed the memories that came with it; his time on the Kraken, as he stood awake most nights after Ravenwood, those he spent sleeping in the breezy air of Saotie City, even his nights outside as he prayed he’d get to the prison in time to save Cecilia. If there was one thing that old bat had taught him, it was that he had deserved none of what happened to him. No matter what his fault was, what he had viewed as a punishment was undeserved. Going out late at night alone? He didn’t deserve to be kidnapped and tortured for weeks. Trusting someone? He didn’t deserve Ravenwood.

“Can I sit?”

Jesse took his eyes off of the early autumn sky and met Darya’s gaze.

“Go ahead,” he said as he moved to the side and patted the grass beside him. “Do you like those?” he asked, pointing at the pants she was wearing.

“I’m not a fan of pants to be honest, it feels…revealing.” she answered as she tried to shift the pants around to be more comfortable.

A knowing smile stretched Jesse’s lips as silence covered their conversation. They sat there, silent for a long moment before any of them said anything.

“Have you ever gone back?” she asked.

“To Outer-Alvoort?”

“Yes,”

“There’s nothing but ghosts for me there, I don’t think I’ll ever go back.” he answered, still with longing in his voice.

“I came back.” she said.

Jesse turned around to see her, perplexed.

“After you freed me from Karme’s prison, I came back to my Ma’s house.” she took in a shaky breath, “She used her black magic to target someone and she died that day.”

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay,” she smiled, trying to reassure him.

Silence covered them once more. Both of them sat rather close and Jesse couldn’t stop but think about the first time they met, the night he had spent with her and the kindness she had shown his younger self. His yellow eyes trailed off to her hands, still in her leather gloves. They looked different from the last ones he had seen her with. Those had been decorated, embossed with leaves and flowers, some parts dyed darker. On her left wrist he could see a strange tattoo, made in a style he hadn’t seen before.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“That?” she asked as she lifted her glove for him to see the tattoo better, “That’s my bridal vow,” she said excitedly, “My wife and I got married two years ago in Sedgestone, her home village,”

“Congratulations,” Jesse replied, a tinge of sadness in his voice as he watched Darya rub her tattoo fondly.

“She was in the camp with me, I hope she’s alright.” her voice dropped, worry prickling through. “What about you? Have you found anyone?” she asked, trying to distract herself from thinking about Surya.

“Me?” he thought about it for a moment, “No, I haven’t. Few people will deal with horns and a tail I guess.” he chuckled bitterly.

.

Darya put her gloved hand on his shoulder, bringing his eyes to hers.

“It’s okay if you don’t, you don’t have to.”

Jesse’s false smile turned into a frown as his eyes threatened to spill out some tears. His chest turned tight and heavy as he bore into her green eyes.

“You should rest inside with the kids.”

He quickly stood up, sniffling in a sob as he extended his hand to her.

“You know we can talk about it if you need to, right?”

“Yeah I know, it’s alright.” his eyes darted around, trying hard not to meet her gaze.

Darya took his hand, and he helped her stand up. They walked back to the house in silence, Jesse leading and opening the door as silently as he could, trying to spare some sleep for the children. As she walked in first, she thought about turning around to look at Jesse one last time before bed, but she didn’t. She only stopped for a second and walked in. Jesse closed the door, leaving his hand on the handle for a little, trying to push his emotions back down as this little voice in his head repeated its eternal litany of reasons for him to stay alone. The demon took a deep breath and let go of the handle. Tonight he’d sleep alone, like he had done for the past 5 years. He walked to the cabin, pushed aside the basin Darya had used and her old clothes, made himself a little hay bed, and slept in it. He let out his tail for the night and embraced its touch as it wrapped around his waist protectively.