"Who's that?" Jack asked, watching the girl's determined stride carry her rapidly nearer. Her blue-trimmed black robes billowed behind her like a morrigan’s feathers, complete with the sensation of impending doom.¹

"Looks like Ludd," Henry frowned. "But Ravenclaws only walk like that when they’re returning overdue library books or docking house points."

"It’s the latter," Oliver replied, shading his eyes against the sun’s glare. "That stride definitely says 'prefect.'"

“Stone the crows,” Teddy groaned. “That IS Bianca Ludd. They made her a bloody prefect. And here I was thinking this day couldn’t get any bleedin’ worse.”

Jack could make out more details as she drew closer. She was short, with rectangular glasses that gave her a bookish appearance. But there was nothing demure about her manner as she stopped a yard away and planted herself directly in their path.

She was even shorter than Jack had first thought, barely reaching his shoulder, but she carried herself like an ornery mountain troll. Freckles dotted her face like constellations, and her glasses magnified sharp, intelligent gray eyes that blazed with righteous indignation.

"Henry Ravenhurst," she announced without preamble, "I have some questions." Her voice carried the crisp pronunciation of someone who'd spent considerable time practicing in the mirror.

Jack raised an eyebrow and looked to Henry, surprised that a girl a year younger could talk to upperclassmen like this, prefect or not.

"Ah," Henry's foxy expression turned cherubic. "You must be…?"

"Bianca Ludd, fifth-year prefect." She adjusted her spectacles. "I’m asking the questions here."

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance at last!" Henry turned on the idiotic charm like a spigot. "I've heard wonderful things about your organizational skills from Miss Mulholland."

“Is that so?” Bianca replied acidly. “Miss Mulholland and your other house prefects seemed disinclined to run you down. That is the reason that I have come all the way out here.”

"Most dedicated of you," Henry nodded respectfully. "Though I must say, the lighting out here doesn't do justice to your-"

Bianca's eyes narrowed behind her glasses. She looked from Henry to his friends, lingering particularly on Jack.

"You must be the Ilvermorny transfer," she said. "Miss Hightower mentioned you."

"All good things, I hope?" Jack put on his most dazzling smile.

"She said you have antisocial tendencies." Bianca returned her glare to Henry.

"Mr. Ravenhurst," she consulted a notebook that had materialized in her hand along with a small travel quill. “I have eyewitness accounts of you and your three associates," Bianca gestured at Jack, Teddy, and Oliver, "executing an extremely dangerous aerial maneuver from the viaduct on or about today, the 31st of August at 8:45 in the morning. I took the report and notified Miss Hightower at precisely 10:47. She was most concerned about the example this sets for younger students.”

"Was she really?" Henry looked delighted, "How flattering!” he winked at Jack. “Though I must point out that at 8:45 this morning, we were all actually-"

"Having breakfast in the Great Hall? Or perhaps sleeping in?" Bianca stared at him, eyes unblinking behind her glasses. "Curious, as I have statements from three different witnesses placing you on - and then off of - the viaduct at that exact time. Unless you've mastered the art of bilocation?"

"Or someone that looked like me?" Henry mused. "We live in uncertain times. It seems like everyone has gotten access to Polyjuice Potions and metamorphic spells. Might have been an imposter.”

“Imposters imitating all four of you?” Bianca asked dubiously.

“According to Golpalott's Third Law-” Teddy began.

“-That’s a law for making poison antidotes,” she cut him off.

Oliver stuffed his sleeve in his mouth to hide his laughter.

“Perhaps a Time Turner was involved?” Henry tried a different tack.

"This isn't about temporal mechanics!" Bianca shouted, then recovered herself. "This is about four irresponsible sixth-years deliberately flouting school safety regulations for their own amusement!"

"Oh, safety regulations!" Henry brightened. "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?”

“We’re safe as houses,” Oliver piped up.

“Hogwarts honor,” Teddy bowed slightly, nudging Jack.

Jack nodded vigorously in agreement.

“We certainly are,” Henry said, gesturing to the others. “In fact, I'd be happy to demonstrate the excessive precautions that we take every day-" he made as if to mount his broom.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"NO!" Bianca jumped up and down. "Get down! No demonstrations! This is a serious violation of protocol! Miss Hightower specifically directed me to-"

"Did she now?" Henry's hazel eyes twinkled. "Does she often send you to do her field work? Must be exhausting, running all those errands..."

“Miss Hightower’s business is her own!” Color flooded Bianca's pale cheeks, making her freckles stand out floridly. "She values my initiative in maintaining proper standards! Unlike some other prefects," she added with a condescending sniff.

"Yes, Mulholland and Fairburne do tend to focus on actually dangerous behavior rather than exuberant and harmless expressions of school spirit," Henry agreed pleasantly. "What specific rules were you thinking that this hypothetical viaduct incident would have broken?”

“It is NOT hypothetical, Mr. Ravenhurst!” Bianca spouted, clearly thrown off script. "I... that is... Miss Hightower suggested..."

"Suggested what exactly?" Henry's tone was helpful, "Because if we're discussing theoretical violations of school rules-"

"You jumped off the viaduct!" Bianca's voice cracked. "All four of you! On broomsticks!"

"Did we?" Henry spread his hands open to demonstrate that he had nothing to hide. "Rather difficult to prove without incontrovertible evidence, wouldn't you say? Unless you've got a pensieve handy, maybe some Veritaserum, but that’s a bit harsh… Plus you'll need to specify the exact infraction in your report.”

Jack was impressed. Henry was as smooth as any barracks lawyer back home.4

“'Extremely dangerous aerial maneuver' is too vague, legally speaking.” Henry continued. “The disciplinary board requires the precise infractions in question, not something like…”

Jack, catching on, felt bold enough to contribute with "'Creative demonstration of fire escape via controlled flight?'"

"Oh, very nice, Semmes!" Henry's approval was immediate. "Shows initiative, and safety-consciousness!"

"I..." Bianca consulted her notebook with increasing desperation, pages fluttering. "The most fitting entry would be Article 148: 'Reckless Endangerment', subheading fifteen: 'unauthorized aerial acrobatics off the North Lawn or Quidditch Pitch', but-"

"Righto!" Henry beamed. "That sounds brilliant! Though I believe that particular regulation does require additional statements from the aerial acrobats in question..." He affected a tragic expression. "And I'm afraid we were all at breakfast at the time. Most unfortunate. Unless you’d like to hear about how Mr. Marshwiggle or Mr. Semmes like their toast…"

“Lightly browned brioche,” Teddy nodded solemnly. “Extra butter.”

“I really like those crumpets-” Jack began.

"Several people saw you!" Bianca's voice jumped an octave.

"Did they?" Henry asked politely. "And they're willing to provide statements? Because false testimony is a violation of the honor code."

“You’ve got it backwards!” Bianca seemed to hit a mental block, her mouth opening and closing silently like a codfish. "I-if YOU submit a false statement, THAT’S a violation of the student honor code!"

"Exactly!" Henry agreed enthusiastically. "Which is why we'd never dream of making any perjurious statement about theoretical activities that may or may not have occurred on the viaduct while we four were definitely eating breakfast in the Great Hall. Wouldn't want to compromise anyone's integrity!"

Jack watched in fascination as Bianca's face cycled through several interesting colors from pink, gray, magenta, and light cyan. He could almost hear the gears grinding in her head as she tried to find a way around Henry's topsy-turvy rhetoric.

“So you’re not making a statement?” she managed finally.

“No.” Henry replied.

"M-Miss Hightower will hear about this," she stammered.

"Oh, I'm sure she will," Henry nodded sagely. "Though what exactly she'll hear about remains rather unclear, doesn't it? Given the lack of documented evidence or reliable witnesses..."

"And the fact that we were at breakfast," Teddy added helpfully.

"Eating a well-balanced meal," Oliver contributed.

"Most important meal of the day," Jack agreed. “Besides, I already copped to buzzing the tower. But you probably know about that.”

Bianca made a sound like a kettle about to boil over. Her little quill snapped on the page from pressing it too hard, splattering ink across her pristine notebook.

"You four…" she declared, with such pathos that Jack thought she was about to cry. He felt a little badly for her. “...why can’t you just follow the rules?”

“We do!” Henry said. Jack could have sworn he saw a halo appear over his friend’s head. “We’re on your side here, Miss Ludd! Isn’t that a nice feeling?”

"On my side… how dare you!" Bianca practically shrieked. "This is a serious safety violation! You could have been killed! And then where would I be?"

There was a very pregnant pause.

“...at Hogwarts?” Oliver supplied blandly, accompanied by an expression of serene stupidity.

With a final incoherent splutter of rage, Bianca stormed off, scrubbing at her notebook.

They managed to maintain straight faces until she had disappeared inside the Bell Tower, then collapsed against their brooms howling with laughter.

“That ginger minx!” Teddy wiped his eyes. “I’ve half a mind to take her over my knee!”

"Seriously Henry," Jack shook his head in disbelief. "How did you do that?"

"Instinct, old sport," Henry wiped his eyes. "Ludd’s new to this, she’s trying too hard to impress the upper year prefects. It’s also her personality, gets flustered when you quote her back at herself and pretend to be an Abraham-man."²

"Merlin's jumper," Oliver shook his head. "They've got a mini-Hightower."

“Worse. She’s going to be trouble," Henry prophesied after he had regained his breath. "Did you see that look in her eyes? She’s a Yethhound."³

“That won’t work twice,” Teddy said. “She’ll come wand loaded next time.”

"Yes," Henry agreed, "but she respects proper procedure.” He shrugged. "Even prefects have to play by the rules."

"She'll report us anyway for this," Oliver noted.

"Course she will," Henry shrugged. "But she can't prove anything. No prefect actually saw it, and even Hightower only takes her seriously about half the time anyway."

"I thought Ravenclaws stuck together?" Jack asked.

"They do," Teddy explained. "But Ludd - is a lot. Even for them. Sucks up to Hightower, ends up going overboard. She should have been a Slytherin. She’s been trying to become Head Girl since her second-year. Ruddy annoying little…"

"Prefects who actually believe in rules, we can handle,” Oliver said, “It's the ones using the rules that worry me.”

“Ludd’s bark is worse than her bite. Montfort is the opposite,” Henry summarized as they headed inside the Bell Tower. Lunch was about to be served in the Great Hall.