The few days after the visit to the psychologist were very quiet for Green. He had been exempted from school for the time being, so despite it being the middle of the school year he was just staying at home. He had taken the time he got to think.

He consciously directed his thoughts away from the incident that had killed his grandparents and reflected. On everything. What he should have done with them, for them, how much he had wished to spend more time with them. He remembered their kind smiling faces, their warmth and the time they had spent together.

In other words, he now had the time to properly grieve.

But just because he was grieving that didn’t mean he had accepted reality. Neither did it mean his anger and rage had disappeared. He had simply pushed those back for now.

He consciously kept on recalling everything he had experienced with his grandparents. And with every memory the rage he held back grew larger. The time his grandfather had given him his first toolset for engineering as a Christmas present.

It had been a very basic set, nothing fancy and his mother had looked annoyed as she had seen what was in the package he had opened. It seemed quite cheap and shabby, but to Green it had meant the world. In fact he still kept on stubbornly repairing and using those tools until today.

The kind and happy expressions on his grandparents’ faces as they looked at their gleeful grandson opening their present at that point were something Green wouldn’t forget for the rest of his life.

He also recalled the time his grandfather had taught him surfing, patiently explaining things and correcting his form again and again. It had been quite hard for Green to get the hang of it but he kept on trying nonetheless, wanting to make his grandfather proud by learning how to surf. And he had managed it. The incredible sense of freedom that came with surfing which he had experienced for the first time that day had hooked him and from that time onwards he never missed a chance to stand on the board whenever the waves allowed it.

And as he had expected, the proud look on his grandfather’s face as he had watched Green climb over all the difficulties he faced was priceless to him.

He had rubbed over his head as he always did and praised him with a big smile on his face.

‘Good job, Green! Keep on going!’

A sudden pain called Green back to reality.

His mouth was throbbing painfully and he could taste blood. He had unconsciously bit down on his lips until his teeth had broken the skin.

The resulting pain had successfully snapped him out of his daze and he quickly got up, moving towards the mirrored dresser on the opposite side of his room.

His lips were still bleeding but upon closer inspection Green decided he wouldn’t need to treat them. Rather, he actually welcomed the pain.

It had cleared his mind a bit and he had decided. He couldn’t go on like this. His emotions kept on clashing, fighting for the upper hand. But the battle always ended in a stalemate. He needed to get his mind to concentrate on something, something logical. He hoped he could figure out what to do from now on if he got his mind to work properly again.

While Green had shut himself in his room most of the time, staring into space as he was reminiscing he had eaten less and less. Not only that he did absolutely nothing but staring at the same wall every day as if he wanted to tear it down with his gaze alone.

This had worried his family a lot.

His sisters had actually decided to stay home instead of going back to their studies as they saw his condition on the funeral day.

The day when he had snapped for the first time.

Frankly speaking at first they had been a bit scared of him then. The way he had furiously kept smashing his fists into the wall as if possessed by something, shouting loudly.

It was as if the brother they knew had turned into someone else in their eyes. He had never lost himself in rage before. He was a bright and happy child that was unable to hurt a fly. That was why his sudden outburst had left them at a loss of what to do.

‘But…’, Lettuce thought as she peeked into Green’s room, sighing as she noticed he hadn’t eaten the sandwiches they prepared for him again today, ‘this Green that doesn’t seem to notice anything is far worse.’

The family had grown more and more worried, they had tried talking to him and shaking him but once he was in that state they weren’t able to reach him at all.

The periods he was blanking out like that were growing longer by day as well and they were seriously considering to consult the psychiatrist again. They were at the end of their ropes.

That was when Green suddenly came walking down the stairs.

“I’m going out.”, he murmured and left without waiting for a reply, leaving them baffled in the living room, unable to understand what had just happened.

“Huh?”

This surprised sound was all he heard as he shut the front door behind him and walked towards the bus stop.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

He hadn’t taken anything with him but his bus pass. That was all he needed for what he was planning to do.

Three hours later he had reached his destination and stood before the doorstep of his old home. Right. He went to his grandparents’ house.

He stared at the entrance, wondering whether or not to go in or not.

He simply stood there for countless minutes, staring at the door, but finally decided against it. So he simply rounded the property and stopped in front of the fence in the back. It had only been a few days but the small door in the middle, almost overgrown by ivy and thus almost invisible if you didn’t know it was there, invoked a sense of nostalgia already.

His hand automatically reached for the top out the door, gently parting the ivy and he pulled out a small key that was always hidden in the small space on top of the door itself.

Then he unlocked the backdoor and carefully stepped through it, slowly as to not destroy the intricate patterns the ivy drew on the door.

Once in the small garden behind the house he closed and locked the door again. Then he turned around and crossed the small greeneries. His goal was the big work shed next to the house.

With a loud creak he opened the door and entered the place.

The smell of wood and oil hung heavily in the air as always, welcoming him back like an old friend. For most people this smell was too overwhelming and they felt uncomfortable in the workshop but for Green the place was the most relaxing.

Admittedly it was also the most painful right now, since many of his best memories had been created here, but he forced himself not to think about it. He could only concentrate on his goal right now or he would fall back into his staring contest with the wall.

Thus he reconfirmed his determination and went to the back of the room, sitting down in his usual spot and took out his tools.

He would make something complicated. Something that would take his full concentration. Yes, like a model of the Cutty Sark.

He had decided on what to make on reflex and promptly started shaping the large wooden blocks in the room. But his model wasn’t important, he wasn’t building it for the result but for the process. He needed to stop thinking, to stop thinking…. But he couldn’t.

Even as he poured all his concentration and effort into the task at hand his mind still kept on working. So he put even more effort into it, concentrating like he never had before. But it was no use, he didn’t manage to completely occupy his mind and so, unnoticeably the direction of his thoughts became darker and darker along with the passing of the day.

9 hours had passed in an instant and it was now dark outside but Green had mindlessly immersed himself in work and was completely exhausted.

Mustering his work with half-closed eyes, he thoroughly stretched, allowing his hands that were screaming in pain from the constant action, attempting to somewhat relax the tensed up muscles in his body. He had created all the individual pieces for the model and lined them up neatly, ready to be pieced together.

The look in his eyes was cold. His eye colour had brightened up to a deep orange-yellow similar to a fire, but the feeling they gave off was cold as ice.

For the first time in hours he consciously allowed his mind to return to the problem at hand.

He couldn’t bring his grandparents back. That was a fact he had to accept.

Then what should he do? How could he deal with this rage and pain inside?

Revenge?

That was impossible. For now. He didn’t know who or what was responsible yet.

Could he find out?

The police was on it, if they couldn’t figure anything out then neither could he.

Then what?

He didn’t know.

What he did know however was that…

If his rage kept on growing like this he would most likely go mad. Crazy.

This time he had only had a small outbreak.

But that instant he had seen fear in his sisters’ expressions was enough for him. He didn’t want to see it again.

So he came to the natural conclusion.

‘First… I have to create some distance. I need to getaway or all of us will only get hurt.

And he had been handed the perfect instrument for this first step. It would arrive any day now. The software of Parallebrium and Full Immersion technology the psychologist had handed him. His step into a new world.

He would use it as a tool.

And while he was busy with that he would come up with further steps to take.

Thus Green decided to hurry home for the day. After all you needed to know about the tools you were using. And to get to know this tool he needed to do research. And a lot of it.

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Hey there *-*

I hope you enjoyed the last part of chapter 1! I'll start working on chapter 2 soon, just need to get settled back home :3

See you all around!