After everyone has fallen asleep except Kara, she listens to the thunder and rain. She puts her hand outside to feel the rain. It’s coming down hard. She can see that Ava is having a nightmare of some sort. There is a flash of light from a nearby strike and a crack of thunder; Ava sits up, flailing about, tears streaming from her eyes as she cries, “No, no, take me instead..” she realizes it was a nightmare.
Kara moves closer to her and pulls Ava into a hug. Ava says, “Undead abominations of all sorts were taking over my world. They were eating people, biting people, and making more and more undead. It wasn’t just people, animals too. Then, sometimes, they would merge, creating more powerful ones. We fought, we hid, it didn’t matter. The more that died, the larger their army grew. It was like they could sense life. No matter where you hid, they would find you. I was hiding with my mother, my sister, and my brother. I was the oldest of my siblings. Then, one of those things found us. It talked to us, taunting us, making fun of our fear, telling us what it would do. It knew our names. Then, it came into the room we were in. There was no place to go. It grabbed me first, but instead of killing me, it just held me as if it cared. Then it said, “I’ll give you a choice; you choose one of them, and I’ll spare you. Just point to one of them.”
My mother mouthed to me, “Me.” I pointed at my mother.” Ava buries her face in Kara’s chest, openly crying. Kara holds her and strokes the back of her head. After several minutes, Ava gets back enough composure to continue, “What it did to my mother…” she sobs for a little while longer, “It didn’t leave when it finished with my mother. It said, “Choose the next one now, or what I’ll do to you will make what I did to Mommy look like I was tickling her feet.” I pointed at my brother. The monster said, “I like you, little girl. You show initiative.” I never worked up the courage to tell it to take me. I chose my sister next. Each time, it took longer, as it worked slower. When I was the only one left, it told me, “You look delicious, but I want you to spend the rest of your life remembering what you did to your family.” I can still hear them screaming, Kara. Then my mom, brother, and sister slowly stood up, looking at me.” Ava starts sobbing again, so hard she is shaking. Kara continues to hold her. Ava asks, “How can The Dawn Bringer, or you want anything to do with a monster like me?”
Kara reaches into a pouch and pulls out a necklace. She places the holy symbol of The Dawn Bringer over Ava’s head and says, “You are exactly who the Dawn Bringer looks for. You are exactly who I need at my side. You know what true pain means. You’ve read my journal. There are things I didn’t write in it. Things I did that I don’t want to remind myself of.” Ava sits up and looks at Kara, “They broke me, Ava. It took them nearly two years. Azura was using my body when a band of stupid, young adventurers decided I would make a fun trophy to get and a nice little chest of gold for a reward. Azura took them all prisoner and brought them back to the prison. She singled out the cleric, a beautiful redhead. Azura had her companions chained to the wall around the room so they could watch. Azuza started it with a single demand to the cleric, “Choose one of them to take your place.” The cleric refused, and the torture began, first by having her raped by the guards, then devils, then skinning her.”
“Azura told me, “This will happen from here on out until you agree to submit to me and become my Regent.” Azura would heal her so she could start over, then stop and ask her whom she wanted to take her place, but she would ignore her, spit in her face, and so on. Azura had her raped by men and devils, flailed her skin off, split her bones, and would heal her and repeat. No matter how long she continued, the cleric’s answer was always the same. All I could do was beg Azura to stop, and beg I did. I pleaded. I offered her everything to stop and promise not to do this to anyone else.”
“That was when I broke, and I submitted to Azura. She wanted to ensure I could understand how far the mortal body could go. The cleric lasted for a week before her mind completely snapped, and pain meant nothing to her anymore. But she never broke. I’ve never met anyone that strong before or since.” Kara coughs, wiping away tears, “That cleric, she is the Godmother to my children now. She is Cyndra Stormhaven. I brought her back to life. Well, you probably read that part. Our past makes us who we are; some, it breaks, and others use it for strength. Use your past for your strength, Ava. Use it to guide you in finding redemption for others and yourself.” Ava lays back down, Kara pokes her, and she looks at Kara as Kara says, “What do you think you’re doing, silly? It’s your watch now.” Ava sits back up. Kara lays her head in Ava’s lap.
Ava says, “Cyndra and Rinwauld were godmothers to your children, and Sasha and Khive were Cubbie’s godmothers. You and Alhindri were like sisters. Why weren’t you one of Cubbie’s godmothers?” She feels Kara tense and instantly knows she asked something she should not have. She quickly says, “You don’t have to. I shouldn’t have asked.”
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
She feels Kara shake her head. Kara whispers, “No, it’s ok. I’ve never been asked, so I‘ve never talked about it.” Ava starts to feel bad about asking this while Kara collects her thoughts. Kara turns over to look up at Ava. Ava can see her eyes are watery and on the verge of tears. Before Ava can say anything, Kara reaches up and places a finger on her lips to hush her, “I’ve needed to talk about this for a long time. I’ve kept it bottled up for a long time. I can’t think of anyone better than you, the girl I should have adopted.” When Kara says this, Ava’s eyes begin to water, too. Kara smiles at her.
Kara says, “I remember when Alhindri and Ithalad announced they were expecting. I think I was as happy as they were. We had just started the tradition of having godparents for the children. I didn’t think much of it at that moment. Don’t get me wrong. At the time, I loved Sasha a lot. We spent time talking and kissing a few times. I didn’t see myself as worthy of someone like her. For Elrae’s sake, I’m a nobody, a brat raised in some jungle village, a former avatar of pure evil. She’s, she’s a Princess, the daughter of a god. What am I?” Ava places a finger on Kara’s lips to hush her this time, “Stop it. Don’t talk about yourself like that. You save my life. You are incredible, and I’ve seen how Sasha looks at you. She loves you, and any idiot can see that.”
Kara smiles at her, “Thank you. The next morning, after Alhi and Ith made the announcement, I came down from my room and heard Sasha, Alhi, and Ith in the library next to the Portal Control Room. I figured I would pop in on them and see if Alhi wanted to get breakfast with me. I heard Sasha ask if they’d decided on godparents, so I paused to listen. I shouldn’t have. I realized that they were having a private conversation. I hate secrets, though. Alhindri said my name. My heart skipped a beat with joy. I almost ran in to hug her, but then I heard both Sasha and Ith say, “No.” My heart broke. I had to cover my mouth and bite my hand to keep from crying out. Sasha, my Sasha, said, “She’s too unpredictable.” Ith said, “She’s too immature.” The world was spinning around me. I stumbled off, completely numb. It was my fault. They were right. I was still nothing but a jungle brat, a dirty thing who once tried,,,” Ava puts her finger back on Kara’s lips.
Kara wipes the sides of her face, “I vaguely remember roaming through the Main Hall, smiling at people like it was any other day. I must have walked straight to the World’s End and started drinking. I don’t know how long I was there or how much I drank. I remember Alhi cast a spell on me to sober me up. It wasn’t anything new for me to drink myself unconscious back then. The nightmare curse was ravaging me. All anyone saw in me was the stupid drunk girl. To tell the truth, that’s all I was back then. When Alhi sobered me, I just smiled like I always had when she used magic to bring me out of a drunk so she could try to cheer me up. She was so happy she was glowing. She apologized for bringing me out of my stupor and said she would stay with me to help me through the nightmares. I couldn’t be angry with Alhi. There isn’t a kinder soul in the universe.”
As she recalls the memories, Kara smiles, “I kissed her cheeks and hugged her. I told her how happy I was for her. I was happy for her. She was experiencing something I didn’t think I ever would, and after the way she had suffered for Azura’s entertainment, she deserved it, more than anyone else. Then Alhi took my hands and said, “I want you to be my midwife, Kara. I want my sister next to me the whole way through this, and when Sara is born, I want you to be the one to present her to me.”
Ava’s tears drop onto Kara’s face. Kara pokes Ava’s chest and says, “Your boobs are bigger than mine.” Ava has to slap her hands over her mouth to keep from cackling out loud. Kara says, “See, I told you something funny. Anyway, I was dumbstruck at that moment. Alhi gave me a few seconds, grinning from ear to ear, watching me, and then it occurred to me. I asked, “Sara?” She nodded and said, “We’re naming our daughter after the two most important people in my and Ith’s lives, S for Sasha and Ara for Kara, Sara.” I started balling. I mean blubber balling and nodding to her to say yes because my mouth couldn’t say “YES!”. Everyone in the tavern was looking at us. I didn’t take another drink for the rest of Alhi’s pregnancy. I was her shadow. I think Ith was wondering if he somehow adopted me. It also gave Ith a chance to get to know me. I’m thankful for that, too. I experienced it all with her. Then, when Sara was born, something good in me blazed to life. For the first time, I looked at Sasha and saw the person I loved. I saw the person I wanted to have a family with. That night, Sasha and I made love for the first time. That night, I discovered there was so much more to having sex. Before that, I was afraid after being raped so many times in that prison. To me, sex was a tool for torture, for domination, not something that could be enjoyed, something to express love.”
Ava blushes, “Too much information there. But I am sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine.” Kara grins, “What has happened, has happened, it’s the past. But, you’ll see some day, about the fun part. Trust me. That first night after Cubbie was born, I discovered love with Sasha. Lydria was conceived that night. I didn’t know I was able to bear a child after what Azura did to me, and I had forgotten about the Regeneration spell that had been cast on me.”
Ava runs her fingers through Kara’s hair, feeling her relax. Soon, Kara is softly snoring. Aran and Persi drift back to sleep with a deeper understanding of what drives Kara. Ava thinks about what it would have been like to have Kara as a Mom until it’s time to wake Aran, and then she drifts off, dreaming about meeting the love of her life.
While Aran is on watch, he thinks back to his childhood as a slave, being passed from one gladiator to another. He looks at Kara as she sleeps so peacefully, “She was raped too. What has been done, has been done. I will never let it be done again or to anyone else I can help.” He listens to the rain and the rolling thunder until it’s time to wake Persi.