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Book 5: Chapter 5

After a while, of watching the couple stretch in place to Tallow’s demands, Jon noticed the pile of firewood the couple had gathered and were left on the floor in front of them.

“Rally up, then!” Tallow said. “Around the field, now.”

“But-”

“Now!” Stewart stopped talking and he and Helia ran towards the edge of the house. After watching them for a few seconds, Tallow jogged afterward, easily catching up to them.

Jon decided to do the polite thing and gather the firewood in his arms before traveling to the house.

He went to the empty fireplace at the edge of the interior and tossed them all in. He considered trying to use his fire magic to light them, but he decided against it. He’d rather wait for everyone else to gather before lighting it up.

Thinking about everyone else reminded him that Mercy was still upstairs by herself.

I should go check up on her, right?

After some deliberation, he decided that he would go check up on her, and so up the stairs, he went.

When he was in the small hallway upstairs, he saw that every door was open except for one.

He walked up to that single door and raised his hand to knock, but hesitated so he could deliberate with himself again.

“Come in, Jon!” Mercy said from inside.

Jon opened the door. Mercy was sitting crosslegged on the ground, with her back facing the wall. Despite her smile, he could see that she was red in the face and that there were beads of sweat over her forehead.

He walked over and sat down next to her. Even closer, he could see that she was breathing heavily.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine, Jon,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I’m fine, really…”

Jon might have been inclined to believe her before, but the signs were too apparent and obvious. She was resembling herself in the further stages of the Period of Power, where she was turning red and exhausted from mana use and just plain physical movement. Jon understood that such a predicament would call for a state of being as such, but here, where it was empty and quiet and no apparent enemy or foe, Jon didn’t see a need for it to be so.

He had to assume something was wrong, even if she wasn’t admitting it to herself.

Mercy made a small sad smile. “Okay. I can’t lie to you anymore. I guess I have to be honest. I guess I should be honest.

She sat up straight closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Jon…” she said. “I have… I have panic attacks.”

Panic attacks? Jon didn’t know exactly what that was. From the few times he heard his father mention it, he assumed it had something to do with anxiety, but it was always mentioned with the idea that his sister Susan wasn’t getting panic attacks, so he had never seen or experienced one directly.

“Are you… worried about something?” Jon asked. “Are you scared?”

“Oh, Jon…” she put a hand on his knee. “It’s not like that. I’m not scared...”

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

She looked around the room as if there was an answer to give him.

“There’s nothing wrong,” she said. “That’s the thing. I… I’ve always had panic attacks, Jon. I meant I think that’s what they’re called. I haven’t exactly talked it through with anyone…

Jon didn’t know what else to ask. He felt stumped.

Mercy must have realized this, so she continued talking.

“...I just… sometimes, I get so worried about things, I…” she pointed to her chest. “I start breathing fast, and my heart rate starts to rise, and my adrenaline kicks in, but then my chest also gets tight. Jon, I even start burning mana sometimes. Sometimes, because…”

“Are you scared?” Jon asked her. “When it happens?”

“No. I mean, Yeah.” She smiled. “I don’t get panic attacks in the middle of battle if that what you’re asking. But there is a sense of fear and uncertainty. To put it plainly, I only get panic attacks in times of peace. When we’re not fighting, I mean. Back at home, when I was under constant training, and I was afraid that one of my cousins or someone would show and attack me at any moment, I just...”

She shook her head. “No, it’s more than that. It’s like… This fear that I’ll never be accepted. It’s complicated and I don’t completely understand yet. I’ve never talked to people about it, except maybe Junwata and my father. But even then, I’ve never given them the full picture.”

“...What does it feel like?” Jon asked. He hoped he wasn’t being redundant.

“It feels… it feels like everything is crashing down on me,” Mercy answered. “Like… things are happening, and I won’t be able to stop it. And that’s what triggers it. But…”

She looked into his eyes. “I stopped feeling it for a long time. After I came to the farm. After I left home. Spending time by myself and spending it with you and with everything that’s happened… I’ve been the most concerned with achieving things ever in my life. It’s… I’ve been the most scared I’ve ever been in my life. Scared of dying, scared of losing, scared of embarrassment. But properly. Like, in the midst of battle, or being in front of people who don’t like me. Through all of that, I hadn’t had another one of these episodes, except…”

She frowned. “Except after losing that battle with Amalia.”

Oh.

“Because you lost?” Jon asked.

“No,” Mercy said. “Not because I lost… but because I couldn’t win… I don’t know... and now, I’m going back to the clans… and everything’s coming back, and-”

“Do you want to leave?” Jon asked.

“...What?”

“Leave?” Jon repeated. He leaned over and grabbed her arm. “Leave. Not go back.”

He pointed his thumb towards the window. “Outside. Not home.”

She gave another one of her sad smiles. “Aw, Jon. How sweet. But no, I think it’s time I returned. I think… despite everything, I think I’m ready to face it. To figure things out. And I have you to thank for that.”

She leaned over and hugged him. Jon partially hugged her back, but he didn’t feel in the right.

“I didn’t do anything,” Jon said.

“Of course you did,” Mercy said, “you gave me a place to live. To exist, comfortably. In fact, all of you guys did. It feels…”

“Feels like home?” Jon asked.

She pulled back.

“Jon…” She blushed. “I…”

“Knock, knock.” Hector pushed open the door hard, shocking Jon and Mercy.

“Didn’t know you were one for sarcasm,” she said angrily.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Dinner’s gonna start soon,” Hector said, looking down at the two of them curiously.

“Don’t you usually tell us when dinner’s ready?” Mercy said back.

“Oh… I was just trying to be… like my sisters… never mind.” Hector closed the door behind him.

“I didn’t mean…” Mercy threw her hands in her hands. “Why did I do that?”

Jon understood what Tallow meant about everyone trying to be incredibly nice to each other. It was very noticeable, and maybe a little frustrating.

“...Wanna go down?” Jon asked. He figured that would be the best thing to do right now..

“Sure,” Mercy said. “Although honestly, I would rather be with you up here.”

Jon couldn’t respond before she stood up.

“Let’s go.”

Jon and Mercy went downstairs as Hector had an entire hog on top of a table. It was clearly dead, although the body was mostly intact.

“Did you just bring the entire pig in?” Mercy asked. “Wait, is that a wild pig?”

“It tried to attack me, so I killed it,” Hector said. “Don’t worry, I drained it of its blood. That’s why it took me so long to get back.”

“You still can’t just have it in the house like that!” Mercy said. “We have to cut it up!”

“Well, someone else usually does that!” Hector said. “Or we just cook it over a fire!”

“Don’t mind him,” Mallory said, standing over at the other side of the table.“ Genevieve usually takes care of the finer parts of cooking. If not him then the workers or his-”

The door opened, and both Stewart and Helia dragged their feet through the door before collapsing on the carpet.

“I’m parched!” Stewart said. “I need… food!”

“That’ not what parched mean you, dolt!” Tallow said as she in after them. “Did you accidentally run all of your brains out of your head?”

She turned and saw the large hog on the table.

“...Is that dinner?” she asked.

She walked up to it and inspected it.

“It’s been drained pretty well,” she said. “Nice slit to the throat here.”

“It was standing on top of me,” Hector said. “It knocked me down from behind, but from there I had a clear shot to it’s neck.”

“You should have had help!” Mercy said.

“He did!” Mallory exclaimed. “I’m just… not very great with dealing with animals.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Tallow said, drawing her dagger. “But outside, where we won’t make a mess.”

She patted it on the back.

“Can I get help?”

“Sure.” Hector pulled the large hog over his shoulder.

“Is that the same dagger you use to cut people with?” Mallory asked.

“Shuddup!” With that last quip from Tallow, she and Hector went outside.

That left Jon, Mercy, and Mallory with the exhausted couple on the floor.

“It’s still gonna be a while before we eat properly,” Mercy said as she crouched down in front of them. “Is that fine?”

“Yeah!” Stewart said from the floor. “Fine!”

Mercy, Jon, and Mallory worked together to drag the couple upstairs and into separate beds in one of the rooms.

“You could have just used your magic to with this, right?” Mercy asked.

“Yeah, well,” would have felt disrespectful after all the work Tallow made them do,” Mallory said.

“Right…” Mercy looked down at them. “I wish I could sleep after a workout like that…”

“She only worked them for a few minutes,” Mallory said. “But it looks like she had fun with it.”

“Don’t tell her that,” Mercy said. “She’ll fight you to the death if you compliment her.”

“Hurry it up!” Tallow called from downstairs.

The three of them came down to see an entire platter of meat parts spread across the table.

“I don’t have any salt,” she said, “so hurry up and cook it before it goes bad!”

She looked up. “Where’s the daft couple at?”

“Asleep,” Mercy said. “Or half-dead…”

“That was fast…” Mallory mentioned. “I didn’t know you could split up a pig like that.”

“I could split you up like this if I wanted to,” Tallow responded. “Now, go on and cook it.”

She crossed her arms. “And thank you.”

“I still don’t know why we didn’t just cook the whole thing,” Hector said. “I could just-”

“No one wants your mana-cooked hog, Hector!” Mallory complained. “That stuff leaves a flavor! It’s nasty and disconcerting! And besides, we have an actual stove!”

“I can cook…” Hector crossed his arms. “...on an oven.”

“You can?” Tallow asked.

“Of course. My sisters cooked for me all the time. Well, not Macy, or Lana… but Majorie’s cooking is pretty good. And so is Charlie’s…”

“I’m amazed that you’re capable of anything subtle,” Tallow said.

“Can’t you cook?” Mallory asked. “You’re the one with the great almighty Sabez as a cooker.”

“He can’t cook!" Tallow said. “His sister does all of his cooking for him! He may have a whole list of skills under his belt, but cooking is not one of them!”

Hector was already sifting through the pieces of meat, looking for something suitable to cook.

“What about you, miss independent?” Tallow asked Mercy.

“I can’t… cook either,” Mercy said, turning red. “But…”

She looked at Jon. “You help your mother in the kitchen a lot, don’t you?”

“Sure,” Jon said.

“So you should cook something,” Mercy said.

Oh.

“Okay,” Jon said. “But I don’t know.”

“Just try, buddy,” Mallory said. “You got it in you!”

“You cook!” Tallow pointed at Mallory.

“No way! I’m watching this!” Mallory said.

Jon knelt down, looking for a pan.

“Gotcha, King!” Mallory reached up and grabbed a pan from the cabinet. He handed it to Jon.

“Thanks…” Jon said.

He looked down at the stove, realizing that he needed a match.

“I-”

Before he could speak, both burners in front of him lit up at the same time.

Mercy and Hector had pointed to a burner each, lighting it up.

A sudden gust of wind blew out both of the flames.

“He can do it himself!” Tallow said. “Geeze!”

Oh yeah...

Jon put the pan down and clapped.

There was a small explosion in front of him, forcing him to duck below the counter.

“Jon’s mana must still be off from being able to walk again,” Mallory said, uncovering his arm from his head. “Also, he’s still relatively new to fire casting.”

“I’ll handle to the fire,” Hector said. “Just move over-”

“No!” Tallow yelled.”You focus on cooking!”

Hector grumbled, but he continued chopping at his meat.

“Alright, Jon…” Mallory came up next to him. “We gotta find your twitch.”

“My twitch?” Jon asked.

“Yep. Everyone has something they can do to help them channel mana. It’s not necessary, but it’s something that people can rely on to help them learn to fight more.

“Okay…” Jon said. “Where is it?”

“You gotta figure it out,” Mallory explained. “Some people snap. Some people stomp, or wiggle their toe, or-”

“What do you do?” Jon asked him.

“I’ll explain that later… Mallory said. “But look at Mercy for instance. You know those hand signs she weaves?”

They turned to her.

“Do a fire!” Mallory said.

Mercy quickly folded her hands through three distinct patterns before stopping.

“It’s more muscle memory at this point,” Mercy said. “If I go any slower, I’ll forget it…”

“The ninja clan has special formations that help form mana into the necessary type of spell they want to cast,” Mallory continued. “It always does a predetermined spell when you perform it. Sort of like a cheat sheet.”

Mercy’s brows furrowed. “Hey.”

Mallory turned to her with his arms wide open and gave her a giant toothy grin.

“C’mon…” he said.

“Didn’t you just say it’s muscle memory?” Tallow asked her.

Mercy sighed. “Fine… I guess so… Yeah…”

“How many can you do?” Tallow followed up.

“Alot…” Mercy said. “I never counted. I mean, there’s a few…”

She opened up her hands. “It’s not exact. There’s different levels of the same spell, but I don’t know if you can go backwards.”

She continued. “Also, FYI, you have to learn the spell first before the signs can be of any use. They can help you learn, but…”

She breathed in, then blew through her mouth, holding her hands out to cradle a flame that she had created from mana.

“I already knew how to do fire,” she said. “Then, after watching Hector, and observing his mana use, I was able to pick up on it better.”

“That doesn’t make any freakin sense,” Hector muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear while he was still preparing his food.

“I mean, it wasn’t just you,” Mercy said. “I mean, it was also being around Jon, and Tallow, and Genevieve and Hestatham…especially you, Mallory. I learned that there were so many uses for mana that wasn’t just… blowing stuff up.”

“I like to blow stuff up,” Hector added under his breath.

“I also learned how to blow stuff up,” Mercy added. “Thank you, Hector…”

“Now, we gotta teach Jon not to blow stuff up,” Tallow said, “so, can we just light ‘em up and let ‘em cook?”

She pointed to the open stovetop.

There was a gush of wind that passed through the room, but nothing else happened.

“It was worth a try,” Tallow said, shrugging.