That night, I sat at the table with my hands politely folded as I waited for my father. He’d been back for a week, but as I watched the seconds tick by on the clock, I realized just how nervous I was to be near him. Our relationship was strained at best, especially since I was the reason my mother had spent so much time away before she died. I did genuinely try to share an interest in his work, and the business that he was involved with. The Duchy of Astalia would be mine to inherit someday, if the emperor did not gift it to another noble line.

At times, I’d prompt my father to explain his recent trade negotiations, and if he was in a pleasant mood, he’d share anything worthwhile. My eyes drifted to the clock again, and I restrained myself from biting my lower lip. With my impending departure, it would be difficult to feign interest. Would he notice that I was distracted?

The sound of soft padded feet echoed on the hardwood floor as Caspian slunk into the dining room, wings folded tightly against his back. From across the table, I watched as he leapt onto a bench positioned opposite of me.

“Your scowl is lovely today, Daelyn. Why, it almost brings out the wrinkles of your forehead.”

I tried to relax my facial muscles. “Do you think so? I’m cultivating them to match my new career. I’ve been trying to decide if I’d prefer to be a spinster or a farmer. Which do you recommend, seeing as you’ve chased mice for one, and gotten tangled up in a ball of yarn for the other?”

“Clever, aren’t you? It’s a shame that Alexia won’t be able to appreciate you learning such a useful skill before she leaves. I’m sure she’s glad to be leaving though, it’s not like you ever had time to care for her interests. I’d leave too.”

My cheeks burned red in an ugly mixture of bitterness. It wasn’t true, but it was close enough to sting. “I’d follow Alexia to Etheroz if it meant not having to suffer your opinions anymore. You’re a spiteful cat. I’ll bet the reason that you’re here is because the gods don’t want to hear them either. Poor Caspian, stuck with the likes of us mortals. ”

A flash of anger passed across his face. Anger and…hurt? It was gone so quickly that I almost didn’t catch it at all.

“Yes, poor me, but at least I have my dignity. From what I hear, you made quite a pitiful display at the Rensfield Ball while we were away. Threatening men will get you no suitors, Daelyn.” He spat back.

I winced, unable to help myself. “What all have you heard?”

“That a certain young lord hasn’t been seen since crossing paths with your barbs. In the streets they say that the Blood Heiress may have come into her gift after all.” Caspian replied lazily with a flick of the tail. “I wonder what you could’ve done to start that rumor.”

Of course Caspian would have heard the rumors, though I hadn’t realized just how widespread they’d become in the days following the incident. I had to steer the conversation in another direction.

“All that magic at your disposal, and you use it to spy on me. Do you not have better things to do?” I retorted.

Caspian yawned, showing off his powerful teeth. “I am a creature of spirit and sky. I do not control what the breeze brings to me, I merely listen to it.” He paused, before continuing. “It’s interesting what secrets slip into the breeze when one least suspects a listener.”

I shifted uncomfortably, trying not to worry that he’d somehow heard my plans for Trasenmar. Forcing my shoulders to relax, I tried for nonchalance. “True as that may be, a curious set of circumstances does not a bloodbound make.”

“And what set of circumstances might that be?” My father asked as he entered the dining room, making his way to the head of the table.

Wonderful. I thought sarcastically as I took a drink from my wine glass, shooting a glare at Caspian as I did so. Of course he pretended not to notice as he straightened on the bench, somehow managing a sideways smirk across his feline face that only I could see.

My father looked at me expectantly, and I lowered my glass carefully.

“Just a misunderstanding, it’s nothing of concern.” I stated. Just another slight against me, no reason to look any deeper than that.

One of the servants came in and poured whisky into my father’s glass. The Duke didn’t look away from me.

“As much as I’d like to believe my daughter, I feel that I must be the true judge in what I should not concern myself with.” His voice was firm, but not yet commanding. A subtle choice of phrase that was both a warning, and a threat. The duke was offering me the chance to tell him without further provocation.

“Very well,” My heart raced as my mouth dried. “I attended a ball at the Rensfield estate in your absence, to celebrate the opening of the season.” It was all just a balance of information, give him enough to be appeased, and not enough to want more. “The Count of Deva’s son asked me to dance, and hasn’t been seen outside of his house since. I’m being blamed for his absence.” I finished uncomfortably.

The servant entered again with a tray of three soup bowls, the third being more of a saucer than a bowl to accommodate Caspian. The room was silent save for the soft sounds of the dishes being set against the table cloth. We both waited dutifully for my father to take the first bite before joining him.

The duke didn't speak until the servant finished and left. “So this turned into a rumor because they think you've bound him?” My father shook his head. “The people of this country are disappointingly unimaginative.”

Content to let it drop, I nearly sagged with relief. If I did have a binding, I couldn’t risk my father learning of it, not when I was attempting to leave. I ladled a spoonful of soup into my mouth, and across from me Caspian quietly lapped from his bowl with his eyes downcast. For as much as we disagreed and fought, we never dared to do it infront of my father.

My father lowered his spoon into the now empty bowl as another servant swept in to clear away the dish. “You know, they say that rumors are often born from fact. What did Lord Kayn do that started such a rumor, Daelyn?”

I nearly dropped my spoon against the inside of the porcelain, scrambling for an answer he'd be satisfied with without damning Tristan for his drunken behavior.

“At the end of our dance, Lord Kayn kissed the back of my hand.” And then my mouth. I thought, unhelpfully. My father’s face had already turned into a frown, I continued carefully. “He didn’t realize who I was, and when he did, he began to panic.”

My father’s eyes flashed in anger at the insult, but stayed focused as he latched to the details.

“Tell me how he panicked.” His voice was soft, but already his command was more than a suggestion as it pulled the words from my lips.

Tell me how he panicked, my mind echoed as I struggled with what I had to share versus what I could withhold, and how to say it without suspicion.

“Tristan thought I was going to bloodbind him and it caught the attention of Lord Rensfield, who had to intervene to calm him down.” I cut myself off. He hadn’t asked about what I’d done. I didn’t want to give anything more than was necessary.

The smell was mouth watering as our next course was brought from the kitchen. Roast duck. The bird was seasoned with thyme and surrounded by potatoes and carrots. If I hadn’t lost my appetite, I’d be thrilled.

The duke shifted his focus to Caspian. “And what did you hear through the city, Eidolon?”

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

Caspian’s jaw muscle twitched, and I watched as he also wrestled with what to share, and what to keep. I didn’t know how my father was able to use bloodbinding on something other than human, but Caspian’s careful response was constructed much like my own.

“The rumor claims that she commanded him to remain in his house for the remainder of the season.” He glanced in my direction. “Nothing but the superstition of a paranoid people.”

“I was angry...” I whispered, clenching my hands in my skirt.

At the head of the table, my father cut into his portion of duck. The cuts from his knife were forceful, the only sign that he was irritated.

“Anger is understandable, after all, he did publicly insult our House.” The duke nodded to himself, taking a bite of potato. “So then, what is this about the Blood Heiress coming into her gift after all?”

To an outsider, my father could portray the image of indifference very well. While he was clearly mad at the exchange between myself and Lord Kayn, he now simply appeared like he was making idle conversation as he ate. But this was a very thin line that I walked.

Because of the nature of bloodbinding, there was quite a bit of grooming that went into our heirs. Bindings placed on the children to prevent them from murdering their parents, intentionally or not. My father had placed many bindings on me throughout my life, but when it became apparent that I had not come into my own magebinding, he stopped.

I was desperate to believe that the rumors were true. That I had come into my magic late, and bound Lord Kayn to his house. In the last few hours, my rescue plan for Alexia had largely become hinged on it. Even though I couldn't test it, I needed to believe I was capable of bloodbinding.

If the Duke even suspected that I had magic, he would never let me leave. Instinctually, I knew he would hunt me to the ends of the earth if I became a bloodbound mage.

“As you well know, I have no ability to bind. Tristan’s disappearance is self-imposed and nothing more.” I forced myself to take a bite of the duck, willing myself to chew and swallow. “I am feared because I exist, my ability to bloodbind is irrelevant—” I stopped. My father’s narrowed gaze caused me to pale.“Father?”

“Irrelevance is a funny thing. If you don’t have a magebinding, then it is irrelevant what he thinks, but we never know how things will develop with time. Do you think you’ve finally grown into your magebinding, Daelyn?”

“I—” A direct question. “I—” I coughed as my tongue refused to form the words. My face burned from the effort. “Of course n—” My throat closed around the word as I coughed again so violently I nearly choked. I grabbed my glass and drained the rest of the wine to try and clear my throat.

My father pushed his chair back and rose to his feet before slamming his fists against the table. “Do not make me pry it from your lips, child. Do you or do you not believe that you have the gift?!”

Caspian’s eyes widened in concern and alarm, all of his usual detachment gone.

“—Yes.” I choked out as tears pricked my eyes, before suddenly being pulled up violently by the arm. “What’re you—?”

“Why don’t we find out then?” The duke interrupted, dragging me out of the dining room and into the foyer.

My eyes darted around wildly, not knowing what he meant to do. Behind us, Caspian followed. Always the silent shadow to my father. The halls were empty, all of our servants hidden out of sight and out of harm.

“Daniel!” My father’s voice echoed throughout the house. Quick footsteps ran towards us as the stout man presented himself. “Fetch Daelyn’s new maid. I don’t have time to remember all of these godsdamn names!” He growled.

The steward bowed quickly before he ran up the stairs to what used to be Alexia’s room. I couldn’t even remember the name of my new lady’s maid, it had only been a day.

The duke’s grip was so tight upon my arm that my fingers began to lose sensation, going numb with pinpricks from the lack of circulation. Suddenly the girl was in front of me, confusion and trepidation plastered across her face. Blood rushed back into my fingers as the cold, metal hilt of a knife was pressed into my hand.

“What is this?!” I cried in alarm, and the girl whose name I still hadn’t learned yet, took a step back in fear. Daniel moved in to grip her by the shoulders. Still strong for an older man, he easily held her still.

“This is where we dispel those rumors.” My father pulled my chin up to look into his icy blue eyes. “Cut her, and bind her to you.” He said it simply enough, and the command was impossible to ignore.

The maid tried to fight off Daniel, now frantic from hearing my father’s command. He let go of my chin and his binding sank into my bones. I couldn’t refuse the command, I had no way of stopping myself as I turned to face her. I was the perfect pawn because he never needed to cut me, and I could never stop him. The knife gleamed sharply in my hand.

He only said cut her, cuts can be small, they can be quick. My mind fought against the command. He didn’t ask me to kill her. I thought frantically, but the thought didn’t comfort me. I was trapped in my own body with no one to hear my screams if I tried. The girl looked at me with terror, and the best I could hope to offer her was my efficiency, though I’d never cut someone before.

No, that wasn’t right. The closer I came to her, the more time seemed to slow. Every step brought me closer to unlocking something of grave importance. This wasn’t the first time I was given a knife.

My mind flashed back several years. I was a child. I was commanded to cut the palm of the gardener who sat stiffly before me. I was sloppy because I didn’t know how much pressure to apply to the blade. When blood began to pour out, I panicked and tried to pull the knife away. It was still in his skin, and it only widened the wound.

My father had commanded me, giving me instructions that I could barely comprehend as I tried to reach for a magic I never found. Like a dam bursting open, memories flooded my vision of every other time I’d tried to summon a magebinding. Moments that had been locked away and forgotten were suddenly fresh in my mind as my mind flew back to the present.

I roughly grabbed the maid’s hand, forcing her palm to face the ceiling. Her shrieks echoed around the foyer. Her head turned frantically away from me…to the ceiling, to the floor, and then to my father. Screaming for help that wouldn’t come.

No one here would help her. No one in the house could stop my father, and now no one in the house could stop me as I fulfilled his wishes. Quickly I swiped the blade against the skin on the outside of her hand, opposite of her thumb. She twitched violently, trying to pull her hand back from the shock of pain, but my grip was firm, and any movement would only deepen the wound.

Behind me, my father sounded disgusted at the display. “Bind and shut her up.”

I maneuvered the knife blade away from the flesh and coated my fingers in her blood as I had been instructed to do many times before. I should have been grateful that he was giving me a chance to discover if I had a magebinding, but as I stood there, hand slick with the stickiness of her blood, it only made me sick to my stomach. But I dug deep into my being and reached blindly for some surge of power, anything that was meant to speak to me, to overwhelm me with something that was other.

The flooding memories of all the times I’d tried and failed bubbled to the surface. Year, after year, until we’d realized I was broken. Tears pebbled in my eyes at the realization, but I couldn’t escape my father’s command. I had to continue this torture.

“Silence.” I ordered the maid as she shrieked, but she ignored me. “I said be quiet!” I screamed above her wails, but still she cried.

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. I could feel something…something warm that lived inside of my core. It burned as if it was caged, but it did not stir with my intention. It was not lured by the blood splatter on my hand. The thing at my center was useless.

When I opened my eyes, Duke Jasper LeMont’s fingers were covered in the gory mess I’d created, only gathering enough blood to rub between his finger and thumb. He looked the maid in her eyes, and she immediately shut her mouth.

“You will not remember this evening.” He said simply. “You cut your hand eating dinner. You’re very clumsy.”

The girl's face took on a dreamy quality as his words took hold and she forgot everything, just as she was commanded to do.

“How silly of me. My apologies, I should’ve been more careful.” She chuckled quietly, embarrassed.

I let go of her hand and backed away in discomfort. The girl shook her head a bit, clearly dazed, before Daniel led her back up to her room. Like so many times before, my father finished what I could not. Tears flowed down my cheeks, but I couldn’t wipe them away without smearing blood over my face.

“Should I be happy, or disappointed that you’re just as useless as you’ve ever been?” My father said with a sneer as he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe the blood off of his fingers.

I remained silent.

He threw the rag at my face in a mix of anger and disgust. I didn’t flinch as the bloody cloth smeared across my face before dropping to the floor.

“If you had any ability to magebind, you could’ve been useful for something. Fire, essence, anything! Our family has been reduced to nothing, and our chance to reclaim what is rightfully ours is gone thanks to you.”

“I’m sorry.” I hiccuped. “I—I’m sorry.”

Somehow my apology only made his face grow colder.

“I won’t be losing anything of value.” He spat.

My eyes widened in panic. “What do you…what do you mean?”

My father stepped closer, and I couldn’t help but step back until my shoulders hit the wall behind me.

He took my face in his hand and squeezed my cheeks painfully hard. “Forget that we tried again.”

The caged thing at my core shrieked as the words of his command filled my head. The memories of my past failures began to fade away…and with them, these new memories I’d just made. All of the fragments began to vanish together, leaving a hollowness I’d become too familiar with.

“Dinner was uneventful as always.” He stated, voice devoid of emotion as he commanded my mind to create false memories to fill the void, just as he’d done so many times before.

My eyes frantically turned toward the hallway, meeting Caspian’s gaze. He’d watched the entire exchange. All of it. As I searched his eyes, silently pleading for help, a pain I didn’t recognize clouded his features. I imagined that if I didn’t blink, if I could just focus on him…then I wouldn’t forget.

The moment between remembering and forgetting stretched out as long as I could fight against the command, but it was never going to be a battle I could win.

Then it was gone.