Returning to the house a second time was far easier than when Jake had originally walked in. Though Yae wasn’t any friendlier, her eye still digging into Jake every time she looked at him, the others had relaxed. It was time for a meal and Yae had prepared quite a feast for them all. Apparently, it was planned well before they knew Jake and his two new friends would be joining- Xul had joined with a Red squad and Yae decided to celebrate.
In the short time that Jake had been away, Xul’s fighting skills had been recognized. A scout from one of the upper teams evaluated him during a recent mission and had given Xul passing marks. The team recruited him shortly after. While Xul hadn’t gone into the tunnels with the new team just yet, being accepted alone was enough cause for joy between the three. Even without Jake, they would be able to afford to live comfortably. The steady pay would be enough to sustain their frugal way of life and as long as Xul kept up his hard work, they would be able to save up quite a bit of money. Jake didn’t plan to kick them out any time soon either. The larger, more comfortable, house would hopefully help.
Though, what Jake wasn’t ready for was the discussion of Yae’s inevitable marriage. Everyone had finally settled into the dining room and the food was distributed, only for Xul to open his mouth and ask the question. She was of age, one of the prettier girls in the Village, and a number of Warriors had mentioned her during some of Xul’s missions. If Yae were to marry a higher-ranking Warrior, she would be able to live even more comfortably without having to do much work herself.
No one else chimed in and let Xul run his mouth. Not because he was incorrect or because no one had anything else to add. It was more due to the fact that the more he spoke, the tighter Yae gripped the knife in her hand. Jake kept his lips pressed together and his head down as he waited for Xul to either stop talking or for Yae to plunge the knife into his eyeball. When neither happened, Tul did the honors of elbowing his brother in the ribs. Xul groaned and nearly slumped out of his chair.
Small talk filled the air for most of the meal. Tul and Xul took turns sharing stories about themselves with Helena and Lydia, who likewise answered a few questions that they decided to answer. Jake found himself roped into a few moments, as the brotherly duo teased him for his initial time within the village. It wasn’t too long ago when Jake was rather useless in a fight and Xul entertained a laugh about watching him struggle a bit. In response, Jake dared Xul to duel him to test his current competence, but the Oryx practically backpedaled out of the room with how fast he spit out an excuse.
The small talk wouldn’t last forever, though, as Jake expected. Unlike before when Jake had sat with them to eat, Yae spoke little. She used to be bright, outspoken and joined in on the banter. Now she just stared at him. Her responses were curt and her tone was rather flat. She didn’t quite make talking painful or awkward for the others. However, the air was clearly tense and Jake sat patiently for when she would finally speak to him directly, rather than through someone else. She wasn’t angry, Jake could see that. Uneasy?
The air was suddenly quiet when Jake checked back into the other conversations. It seemed they had died off and there was only the sounds of cutlery scraping polished stone as the others cut through their meat. Tul threw Yae a glance, who met his eye with a stern look. He grimaced, sighed, and set down his fork. Jake adjusted in his seat as his eyes locked with Yae’s.
“What’s next?” Tul asked, looking over at Helena and then Jake. Xul paused for a moment, only to decide to keep out of things and continue his meal. Lydia either wasn’t paying attention or already knew not to inject herself as she continued to eat unabated.
“We gather the necessary individuals and then hunt down the Beasts.” Jake continued to eat, trying his best to balance meeting Yae’s gaze with filling his mouth with the food she had taken the time to serve. This was his first real meal in a while. He wasn’t going to let a sour conversation spoil it.
“Hunt the beasts?” Tul didn’t quite seem to understand the meaning, something Jake should have expected. The Village’s forces worked in a more reactionary fashion. Even though Scout-Warrior teams proactively went out into the tunnels to try and clear them, there was no force that was created specifically to outright kill the Maedra. It was currently done with the idea of protecting the village and expanding its influence. Going to war with the Maedra wasn’t on the list of tasks.
“Yes. We’re going out into the tunnels to find and kill them. Simple.” Jake threw a glanced towards Helena, who met his gaze with one of her own. She still hadn’t retrieved a blindfold yet and Jake still wasn’t used to seeing her without one.
“You say ‘simple’, but there’s quite a bit to it. Isn’t there?” Yae set down her cutlery as she straightened in her seat. Her eye bore into Jake’s face as she stared across the table at him. He let out a sigh and nodded.
“There’s a lot to it. From killing the Beasts, to finding their Nests, to clearing them. A lot of steps and a lot of pieces that we need to put together.” Jake tore into a slab of meat, ripping it off his fork and chewing it thoroughly. Yae waited, staring at him with her unblinking gaze as she waited for a better answer. Jake felt too lazy to give one. “What?” Jake asked.
“You’re acting like it’s going to be easy,” Yae spat. Jake shrugged.
“It won’t be but I’m not going to let myself get hung up on the small details.” Jake swallowed a mouthful of water and then set down the glass in the center of the table, just beyond his plate. He placed it down with a bit more weight than he normally would. “Clearing a nest will take time and competent fighters. Getting those fighters together is going to be a hassle but we’ll be fine.”
“And what if you don’t get them?” Yae folded her hands in front of her on the edge of the table. Tul checked out of the conversation, lowering his eyes to his plate.
“I will,” Jake said with false confidence but Yae didn’t take the bait. Jake was confident that his request for the desired individuals would be accepted by each of them. If not, then he could turn to the Council for assistance to provide incentives. Jake wouldn’t force any of the individuals he had in mind to join his little hunting party but he would at least try to make it worth their while if they found it to be too risky or tedious.
“And if you don’t?” She repeated. Jake wasn’t a fan of her constant doubts. However- even though it annoyed him, he didn’t let them make him angry. Her coddling reminded him of his Auntie and he knew how to deal with it.
“Then I handle it.” Which he would. If Jake couldn’t get any kind of team together in order to face the Maedra, then he would have to find a way to do it himself. But that would be the last option.
If it was one thing that Jake had learned, it was that his anger and hatred for the Maedra would only get him so far. Facing the Maedra head-on with raw strength was a losing fight. The Maedra had numbers and time, both of which would wear him down in an extended battle. They could reproduce faster, they never stopped moving forward, and they never stopped fighting. Even though they had staggered in the Nest for a brief moment, Jake couldn’t rely on that experience to define how the Maedra truly acted. On top of that, Jake couldn’t rely on the strength he had now. He would need to develop something more natural and reliable.
More so, Jake needed this team to be successful not for just his own sanity and personal well-being, but for the safety and welfare of the Village in the long term. By developing a team that could effectively eradicate the Maedra, the Village could find a way to sustain itself without him. Much like how Mur was training the new Scouts to be effective fighters with hopes to increase their survivability in the Tunnels, Jake needed to train Warriors and Scouts to make them efficient Nest clearers. He had faith that those on his mind would accept his request, it was the teaching part that he was going to have trouble with.
The current tactics of the Village were based purely on survivability of the next generation, which would then fight for the next, and then the next. However, the problem was the downward spiral that was set in motion. The Village was fighting solely to protect itself and keep open passageways with other villages- it never worked to solve the problem in front of it and Jake doubted it had tried to in the past. The Village didn’t seem to have any way to clear Nests and in the prior Operation, there were no details that defined how the Village would secure the cavern once the Maedra were dealt with. Which led Jake to believe that the Village had no capability to do so.
Thus, Jake would need to teach his team how to more efficiently kill Maedra, how to clear the Nests, and then how to purify the Nests. Failing at any step of the way could cause massive casualties and his experiment would fail, but he had no choice but to push the issue and try. The Village wouldn’t last much longer if it didn’t change.
“I hate that about you, Jake.” Yae sighed and stood up. Before she could walk away, Jake stabbed his fork loudly into the meat on his plate.
“Then you tell me what you think is the best way to do this, Yae.” Jake glared across the table at her. Her constant dismissal of how he did things was what he hated about her. She lacked the trust that he could do things successfully. Her constant doubts of his capabilities, her constant worries, her endless questions and “what ifs”. They were just like his Auntie. Except his Auntie at least sent him off with a smile and only asked him to be safe and return home. Yae was different.
It was as if she was disgusted that he was trying so hard. Or that she simply could not comprehend that he was a capable individual. As if he was still the same boy she had pulled from the Essence flow. To her, did his training mean nothing? Did all of his time, effort, blood, and sweat. All of the nights he spent struggling in the Library and sweating the Mur’s hall. The time he spent in the tunnels, directly fighting and killing Maedra. Even his time with Darius. It was as if she was dismissing all of it, and that pissed him off.
Yae turned to look at him, a scowl on her face. Jake didn’t buckle beneath it and stared back at her. He could feel heat in his face.
“What? You want me to let someone else do it? You want me to let someone else try to handle the issue? Or maybe you want me to sit here on my hands and become like Mur- put up some building to teach people in?” Jake snatched up his cup and drained it of its contents before smashing it down on the table. The table shuddered, the plates jumped, and the others all looked up at him. The side of the cup cracked.
“I’m tired of you looking at me like that, Yae, and I’m tired of trying to appease those stupid doubts of yours.” He felt a strand within his chest snap as he sucked in air. When it came out, words he immediately knew he shouldn’t have said slipped from his lips.
“If you loved me like you act like you do, then you wouldn’t try to lock me up in a box. You’d encourage me and push me to be better. But instead you treat me like a child and try to make me feel like shit for trying to protect your Village. How about you show some gratitude for what I do, for what the Warriors do, for what the Scouts do?” He let out a hot breath from between his teeth.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“Jake-” Helena muttered, but he didn’t hear her. All he could remember was seeing Darius being killied right before his eyes.
“Without people like me, you’d be food. The whole lot of you would be torn apart in seconds by those things. And here I am, actively trying to keep them from crawling through that door and tearing your eye from your face. Instead of doubting what I’m trying to do and being a petty, whiney brat- give me time to actually do what I’m here to do before you question me.”
“That’s enough,” Helena stood up and grabbed his shoulder, her grip firm and jolting. Jake felt his tongue catch against the roof of his mouth. The heat in his face continued to burn as his thoughts swirled. His vision had narrowed on Yae so he failed to see both Tul and Xul glaring at him. He also failed to see Lydia’s displeased expression. Even Yae wasn’t quite happy with him, but her face seemed… twisted.
He didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of what he’d said nor did he want to continue the conversation. So, he pushed in his chair and stepped away from the table.
“Thanks for the meal,” he spat as he left the room. He made his way up the stairs and to his room and closed his door. Inside, he felt the weight on his shoulders slide off. He had said too much but he wouldn’t apologize for anything he had said. He believed in what he said, meant every word. If they hated him for it, then it wasn’t his problem. The Oryxs within the Village were soft and complacent. Only those in the Red Teams or whom had faced the Maedra directly truly understood what kind of threat their posed to the Village. Yae should have understood it as well. She was there during the Operation. Instead it seemed she clung to the fear of them, rather than the hope that Jake could help ease the burden.
The day was over and night was falling. The mana crystals outside were dimming to simulate that it was time for bed and to rest. Thus, Hulgrok’s smithy would likely be closed. Jake would need to take his blades down to him tomorrow. And with no where else to go, Jake could either rest, return to the Library, or head to the small hut he had made on the outskirts of the Village. He thought of going to that hut to train, except Helena and Lydia planned to help him in the morning. So leaving now wasn’t exactly the smartest option.
“Jake.” Jake was standing in the middle of his room, trying to sort out what he wanted to do when he realized someone was knocking on his door. Yae had followed him up the stairs it seemed. “Can I come in?”
His first instinct was to send her away. He had just yelled at her in front of the others. If she wanted to talk, then he wanted none of it.
“Why?” He curled his hands into fists, still feeling traces of anger in his face as he turned to face the door.
“I want to apologize to you.” Her voice was faint. Jake could barely hear it through the wood. The softness of it, the familiar gentle tone, and the sincerity of her words made his hands loosen. He sighed and stepped to the door, pulling it open. She stood just beyond the threshold, her hands folded neatly in front of herself. Tears were fresh on her face.
“Fine,” he muttered. He left the door open and moved out of hte way. He didn’t sit on his bed, instead stepping over to the small desk. He leaned onto it and folded his arms over his chest. Doing so helped him contain his own emotions. Yae closed the door behind her and then put some distance between them. She sat on his bed and looked down at the floor.
“I don’t want to bottle you up, Jake.” After a few moments of silence, Yae finally found the words and began to speak. “I don’t want to hold you to this Village. I don’t want to keep you here and I won’t tell you not to fight, but it’s scary never knowing if you’ll come back.” She sniffled and wiped off her face with her wrists. However, the streaks returned.
“I told you earlier. As long as you come home, that’s all I care about. I know you’re going to go out into the tunnels. I know you’re going to fight the Beasts. I know you’re going to risk everything to do what you have to do…” Her lips shuddered as she took in a deep breath.
“...but that doesn’t make it any less scary.” She let out a heavy sob and sucked in more air. Jake felt the tension in his jaw fade. His shoulders loosened and his muscles relaxed. She wiped at her eyes again and sniffled a few times, steadying herself.
“When we talked in Mur’s hall, you told me you were too focused on fighting. You told me you even knew that it was affecting you, but here you are again. Running forward to fight without looking at anyone else!” Yae’s voice raised as she spoke, but instead of screaming or yelling it just cracked with emotion. Jake looked down at the floor, his lips turning downwards.
“You want me to trust you, and I do.” Yae sucked in a long breath. “But dammit you don’t have to be so stubborn!”
“I need to be-” Jake tried to talk but Yae’s hand reached out and snatched up his pillow. She launched it at him with a mix of anger and annoyance. He caught the pillow, with his face.
“Stop it!” She barked. “You don’t need to do anything but listen!” Jake held the pillow in his lap and clamped his mouth shut.
“You’re stubborn. You’re selfish. And you think like a child. You constantly act like you can do everything on your own and that you have all the answers. And when you don’t, you act like you’re going to magically just stumble into them, and then, poof, everything will be fine!” Yae stood up and stepped over to where he was sitting against the desk. She grabbed the pillow from him, her fingers gripping it firmly as she cocked it back over her shoulder. Jake’s eyes opened as he raised his hands to block it as she began to smack him with it.
“But that’s! Not! How! Life! Works!” She howled before pressing the pillow against his shoulder. Jake supported the weight he felt on the other side of it as she too leaned against the pillow and him.
“You don’t have to struggle so much, not on your own…” Her voice was soft, almost inaudible through the fabric of the pillow.
“Yae,” he whispered. When she didn’t answer or react, he figured that was his cue to keep talking. “I know. I understand and acknowledge that I’m selfish, than I can’t always find the right answer…. I know.” He leaned against her weight, adjusting a bit to ensure she wouldn’t slid off and fall.
“We lost someone in the tunnel, all because I was too weak. I couldn’t get to him in time and the Beasts tore him apart.” Jake paused for a moment, keeping his own emotions in check. They only needed one unstable person in the conversation at a time. “We went out in only a team of three to fight the Beasts, and it was stupid from the beginning. I knew it was but we trusted each other, trusted the plan, and we all thought it would work out.”
“...just three of you?” She mumbled. Jake sighed softly and gently pushed against the pillow. She aggressively pushed back, shoving against him to signal she didn’t want to move. He gave up on that.
“It’s all we had. I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I want to help the Village. I want to kill the Beasts, but I want the Village to be able to survive on its own.” With her being so hurt over it, Jake figured it would be wise to inform her of a few of his plans and his reasoning. Maybe then she would calm down a little.
“Helena and Lydia know how to cleanse the Nests. I know how to kill the Beasts. We’re going to train a large enough force to be able to do both tasks. And I know you are skeptical, but I have faith in this Village. The Warriors I’ve fought with have shown me that they’ll do almost anything to protect this place, and I know they’ll be excited to be told that there is a chance that one day, the Beasts will be gone for good.”
Jake stopped talking as he finished, giving Yae a time to speak if she wanted. Instead she pulled away and lowered the pillow from her face. She looked at him, her face a bit of a mess and her hair stuck to it. It was not the greatest look, if he was being honest. Girls really did cry ugly, didn’t they?
“For good…?” She muttered. Jake nodded.
“For good. It’ll take time, but I think we can at least start the process.” Jake turned and stood up. He reached out and placed his hands on Yae’s shoulders as he smiled at her. “The Beasts can be beaten, Yae. We can kill them and make it so that they cannot come back. The Village already has Collector Crystals, but Helena and Lydia have something that can purify the mana itself to make it poison to the Beasts.” Jake spoke softly and slowly, taking his time to form the words he wanted to say in hopes that it would help ease her worries. He knew it wouldn’t fix the whole problem. But, he had to give her something.
“Just give me time, okay?” He asked with as sincere of a voice as he could muster. He stared into her eye and gripped her shoulders a bit tighter, hoping she could find that sliver of belief in her mind that he would be fine.
“Just as long as you uphold that promise of yours.” Suddenly, she shoved the pillow forward and jammed it into his face. Jake felt the smothering and recoiled, snatching the pillow out of the way as she shoved him backward. When his vision cleared, she was walking toward the door. He didn’t chase her, his feet remaining planted in the center of the room. She stopped at the door and grabbed hte handle, her fingers squeezing it.
“I believe in you, Jake.” She let out a held breath and twisted the handle. “It’s just so hard to be the one always waiting.” With that, she ran away. She slipped out the door and pulled it closed swiftly behind her.
Jake’s lips pressed together and he tossed his pillow over onto the bed. He stared at the door, his eyes glued to the bottom of it. He could see the shadows of her feet still and he stared at them until finally, he saw them vanish. The boy looked away from the door and slid over to the bed, collapsing into it.
Emotions were hard. Yae was a constant box of mystery he struggled to handle and he was never quite sure if he was doing things right. Every time he looked at her, he felt as if she was picking him apart with that gaze of hers. Even when she was smiling. He always felt on edge. As though one wrong move and she would smother him. Though, he couldn’t help but wonder if things were just too unbalanced recently. When was the last time he saw her earnestly smile? Though they shared a few moments of warmth and he could see that she cared he couldn’t help but wonder if his presence was too much of a burden on her.
Just as she had said- she was always waiting because Jake was always leaving. Much like how Jake was always waiting for his father who eventually stopped coming back. Even now Jake could feel the emptiness in his chest, left there because his father had never properly said goodbye to him. Jake hoped the man was out there, somewhere, and he hoped that one day they might meet. But it was that emotion that also scared Jake when it came to Yae. Everytime he left, she was left waiting for him. If one day Jake decided to never return to the Village, to Ewana, would she feel the same emptiness? Would the same void appear in her chest, holding her back and potentially keeping her from loving another person? Would it scar her?
One thing he had promised himself was to never do that sort of thing to those he loved. Whenever Jake left, he would ensure to promise his return. He intended to do keep such a promise. If he knew he wouldn’t be returning, then he would make sure to have a proper send-off. He would make sure they understood that he would never be coming back. All he hoped was that such moments were as happy and joyful as possible.
…Now that he thought about it, had he done that with Auntie? Had Jake told her he would be back? Did he have that kind of send-off with her, even a small one? And now that he thought about that, how long had it been since he’d come to the Ravine? A month? Two months? Time was ticking so fast and events in his life were stacking in such a way that he hadn’t quite been given a chance to really put the timeline together. Being home, in the sands, in his village. Being with his Auntie and eating her delicious paias. It felt so long ago.
“...I miss you, Auntie,” Jake mumbled as he buried his face against his pillow. He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as he tried to remember his home. He could barely remember the heat of the sun. He could feel the sand still, as he had felt sand in his dreams with that Altrox guy, but he couldn’t feel the warmth from its golden grains.
“I wanna go home…” he whispered, wishing for a quick end to the fighting with the Maedra.
Except, he knew there was nothing quick about this place. Everything was slow, dreadfully slow. Nothing would go as planned. Nothing would be easy. Nothing would be quick. The day he would get to leave this place was still far off. There was much to do and many battles to be fought. There were plenty of questions he still needed to find the answers to and there were a number of tasks left to accomplish. But he hoped that soon he would once again be able to feel the sand between his toes and smell the trace of his Auntie’s cooking in the air.
Oh, how he wished for that day to come…