The sun started slowly setting down on the horizon, all around the camp the guards changed, warriors doing their drill were finally allowed to rest for the day, and hunting groups returned after a whole day of undead eradication.
At a steady pace, though slightly nervous, I headed towards the field kitchen. Even from far away I could already hear the cheerful voices of adventurers feasting after a long day filled with hardships of training and fighting.
Yes, a feast at the end of the day was the best possible time and place for “integration”. While eating, drinking, and laughing the bonds of friendship were made…
… there was just one itty-bitty-tiny problem.
I couldn’t eat. Not like the rest of them that is! Still, if I avoided dinners that might give a wrong impression of me! As if I don’t consider them a fitting company - and that could be a disaster!
Therefore, trying to act as casual as possible, I entered the field around the kitchen tent in front of which other members of the House queued waiting for their rations. I was considering joining the line, when from the side I heard someone calling me while waving his hand. It was Thomas accompanied by the other cadets.
* “Hey! Alabaster! Come here! We brought too much, so feel free to eat with us!”
I turned toward the table that their group was occupying, and with a bow of my head I thanked them for the seat that they offered.
* “Thanks for the invitation. I hope I am not bothering you too much…”
* “Are you kidding me?! We are not letting you leave till you tell us how the hell did you get so strong?!” Gregory, the fierce-hearted man hit the top of the table with his fists, making the dishes jump slightly.
* “W-well… I had good instructors, I guess?” I answered trying to sound as convincing as possible, though, based on their reactions, they didn’t quite buy it.
* “You sure? No secret training? No divine artifact? Sap from the Withering Tree?!” one of the ten cadets was asking question after question “... you must be from quite a rich house, mister noble! I bet your parents didn’t spare any money on your development… Ouch!” Thomas hit his older colleague with a fist to the head.
* “You need to excuse his words, friend. The truth is he is quite jealous of your performance… especially, that as I have heard, he didn’t win even a single fight during his ‘baptism’... I am not counting Greg. He is an exception, because I was his first and only opponent, and even since then he improved a lot!”
* “So what if I didn’t?! It is not a shame to lose to someone that already started training under guidance of Sir Godric!” the man, whose cheek reddened in embarrassment tried defending his good name.
* “Which doesn’t change the fact that you have a negative win rate even though you are one of the oldest cadets! And that you slack off during every training!”
Thomas kept on rebuking his comrade.
* “Whatever. Just by being here for a couple of months some lesser House will take me in, bah - even being grateful for it! Then I will get access to an easy party and raid quests during which I would do barely anything and still earn a handful of coins!”
He boasted crossing his arms on his chest.
* “Are you really fine with that?...” I asked shifting my gaze toward the man with surprisingly low ambitions “... you have an incredible opportunity right in front of you, with just a little of hard work, you could become one of the heroes! Yet, you decide to…”
* “Listen here, Alabaster, or whatever! Not everyone is born with a silver spoon shoved in their asses! I know that being a noble must be great - not bothering about money, getting everything handed right into you, even having a legion of servants just to jerk you off, but some of us actually struggle with money - even quite a lot, you know?!”
* “That’s enough, Luka didn’t mean it.”
* “Oh, but I did!”
The two started arguing loudly, in the meantime, I lost myself in thought. I tried rebuking him because of the “quest” that my captain gave me - to be an inspiration for them so they would focus on training.
But, putting pretending being a noble aside, could I actually complain about his motives? His ambitions? Me? Who never had any? Looking back in time, I have always been content with what I had. There were quite a few possibilities waiting for me in life. I could go to university in the nearest town - my father would surely muster those few coins needed for entrance.
I could join an army - we are living in a time of peace, so after just training for a few years I could quickly achieve middle officer ranks (higher one wouldn’t be possible due to lack of noble blood). Then, just by advising, planning and training recruits around the main cities I would be able to live an easy and happy life - I could take Liz’ with me… and actually give her a somewhat better life.
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Hah, she kept on saying that she didn’t need it. Maybe, but certainly she deserved it. I was so foolish. So short-sighted. I kept on putting other people before so many times… and for what?
For a shallow grave! Oh, the irony! The comedy! The grotesque! Liz’ might have a better life without me! I should have just…
… Died? And let that bastard have it this way?
This is how this world works.
The strong take what they want, devouring the weak.
People without ambitions are meant to serve the ambitions of other people.
So, Liz’ might have a better life? Improve. Become stronger. Get more than you could ever wish… and then, offer it to Liz’, once you would enter her chambers walking over Michael's dead, still warm body.
Yeeees…
Let his blood run down soaking into wooden panels of the floor of his mansion. Watch his essence flee from his body hovering, looking in desperation for the last one reason of existence before vanishing in the maw of the abyss…
… Eat. They are all always eating. Look around yourself, Aster! All these humans around you! Soldier to your left stuffs his mouth with fried chicken. Mage to your right enjoys freshly made mutton.
Birds. Pigs. Dogs. Human.
They are all food meant to be feast upon! Red meat! White meat! Black meat! Green meat! Life feasts on life! It has always been this way! Life of one creature ends being a nutrition for the other! Adding to their strength! If you want to kill your Nemesis, to retake what is rightfully yours, you need to become stronger! You need to feast, Aster… Eaaat.
The life, which was all around me, started pulsing with red lights. Entire area where everyone was rejoicing indeed looked like a buffet. All the sounds blurred into one impossible to understand cacophony, which soon started to be overpowered by one one sound - sound of heart beating. Like war drums summoning soldiers, the hearts were summoning me…
* “...giht? Alabaster? Hey! Hey!!” someone grabbed my arm and shook it slightly.
The weird voice which suddenly took the place of my own was gone. My vision returned normal as well.
* “Are you there?! I was asking if you are alright? You were spacing out for quite some time, man, you scared the living hell out of our asses!” Gregory said with a concerned tone. Once I started reacting to his words his expression soothed a little.
* “I am so sorry for worrying you! Apparently, Agnes hit me a bit too hard in my head!” I joked trying to ease the mood.
Damn it. I started hungering. But why? Why so soon!? Did overeating with Friedrich cause that? Life was like a drug to me, and drugs tend to lower your resistance for its shortage, making you yearn more and more as you take another dose, was this the case as well?! If yes, I will need to reduce the intake, maybe much smaller doses over shorter periods of time will do the trick? I will have to check that. The sooner the better.
But, the voice was right. If I will not change my attitude, I may as well just give up and continue the life of an undead adventurer, or just find the nearest gutter, lie down and wait for the end of time.
I was ignorant. I suffered because of it, and through it, I have learned. I will not give up! No! I will have Michael's still beating heart in my palm! I will have his crimes and twisted nature exposed! For that - I need to change. No more self-sacrifices! No more bleeding out ‘just because it was the right thing to do’! No more weakness.
Right now, I am on my path to greatness, taking my very first step. I shall become a knight of Silver Lion - even a Captain if I have to! I need to keep challenging myself… and all of those who one day I might call my brother. Once again, I looked at Lucas - the sour adventurer.
* “Do you really think so?” I asked him with a calm, yet strong tone.
* “Think what?” He asked, truly confused.
* “That I was born with a silver spoon in my ass. That I had it all from the beginning, that I never had to work to get anything done for myself?”
* “...Alabaster… We agreed to end this matter like… ten minutes ago?”
I must have been spacing out for quite some time then…
* “... And, as I am rather hard to offend, I wanted to let it go. But. You might get the wrong impression, that I remained silent because your words touched me. They didn’t....” I prefer to avoid lying. If in the future they would once again scan me with that lie-detection-stone, I could say that I never lied to anyone, and that would greatly increase my chances of success during any negotiations or trial.
So, I decided to lie without lying.
* “Noble blood…” I said that as if it was some kind of joke “... have you ever heard what kind of fate meets the bastard sons of greater nobles? Barons, marquesses and such? They grow up and live far away from their so called families, their mothers being paid barely enough to keep their mouth shut…”
That wasn’t a lie. It was quite an universal truth. I made a small pause, before “continuing”.
* “I grew up in a village. Working on the field like every peasant. From dawn till dusk. Breaking my back in the heat of the sun. Later, an old blacksmith, a half-orc, showed me a few tricks with a sword… And then, I went on my own little quest. So I am asking you, Luke, where exactly was my silver spoon? Where were all these servants that lived just to attend my whims and fantasies? With your words, you undermined all the hardships of my youth. Artifacts? Secret training? Sap of the World-tree? Don’t make me laugh. You lost to the man that was growing up on the farm…” I got up from the table “... I am done hearing your excuses. Lucas. If you are fine with being a member of some lesser House - so be it. But I - I will not stop until I would stand on the very top. Till I would make all those who wronged me kneel. For now, thank you all for your company. But I lost my appetite…”
* “B-but you didn’t eat anything!”
I turned around and started leaving. That was a good show. Tomorrow, I would apologize to them for this “outburst”.
Still - this way I killed two birds with one stone - I showed them that I was but a farm-boy, and started from the same place as they did. This way they couldn’t justify their inferiority on the battlefield by lack of noble blood.
And, I interacted with them without showing my face. Operation ‘Supper’ succeeded!
… Still, I played them dirty, which left a bad aftertaste in my mouth.
No. Godric said that. There is nothing wrong with using your advantage. Monsters do not fight with honor. Bandits do not wait till you unsheath your sword.
The strong does not willingly give up his advantage over the weak - he uses it.
Feints. Assassinations. Poisons. Traps. Lies. These are all justified tools.
And I - I didn’t lie.
I was about to return to my tent for a night, when I noticed a small rat trying to get closer to the kitchen area. WIthout making a sound, I approached it from behind and stopped on its tail so it wouldn’t escape. The small rodent quickly started thrashing around, trying to escape. I grabbed my sword and with one thrust I ended its life. I watched the essence leaving its tiny body before inhaling it, reducing my hunger.
You killed [Grass Rat - Level 3] You have obtained [2] essence.
The fate of the weak is to be feasted on by the strong. It always has been this way.