Maria felt her stomach turn to ice as the Matriarch's scanner let out a soft chirp. The human's half-baked plan to yell...well, some sort of warning dissolved; whatever sneakiness Ter'yeik had planned was already done. The copper-colored Karnakian gave a peep of surprise as her implant received the results of the scan.

The Second Claw was so smug that his snout was damn near hidden among his feathers. "[Reverend Mother, I believe you have just discovered that the DNA in that skin sample is not that of [Maria Vargas]. Am I correct?]"

Ck'Trrk'Ka turned her head to give her second-in-command a searching look. "[You are quite correct, Second Claw.]"

Maria turned nervous eyes towards Oscar, who stood at parade rest with his hands behind his back. His face held only mild interest, as if he was watching a tennis match. Ter'yeik's gaze was on the human investigator as well, and he looked back and forth from the human to Myyreh, his fangs bared in a triumphant grin all the while. The Dorarizin bodyguard still stood between the two, her eyes narrowed and her body coiled in case of attack.

Maria clenched her teeth in helpless fury as the Second Claw spoke again. "[Please tell us, whose DNA is it? Perhaps it even matches that of our erstwhile investigator.]" He waved a wing-arm with studied slowness in Oscar's direction, clearly taking care not to trigger any possible attack from Myyreh. "[He's been very anxious to clear his fellow human of any suspicion. Perhaps he went too far?]"

"[I wouldn't say that, Second Claw,]" said the Matriarch. "[It's mine.]"

It was as if someone had up-ended a huge bucket of icy water over the Second Claw. Within a second Ter'yeik went from a fluffy smugball to a plucked chicken as his feathers went flat against his body. "[WHAT? What do you mean?]"

"[The DNA in this cloned skin sample. It's mine.]" The Matriarch tilted her head as her tone became syrupy. "[And since I'm reasonably sure I had nothing to do with the theft of the Claw, perhaps you might care to explain why this is so?]"

Maria realized she might be the first human to see a Karnakian shit himself. "[I...what...Reverend Mother, there must be some mistake...it was supposed to be...]" He started backing up as Myyreh followed in a crouch. Ter'yeik darted a look over his shoulder at the unsmiling faces of Frick and Frack, then back forward to Myyreh. The surrounded Karnakian snarled and pointed a claw towards Oscar.

"[YOU! You...]"

The human smiled gently. "Me? What did I do? You thought that skin sample was made from my DNA. Now why would you expect such a thing, I wonder?"

Ter'yeik's clawed hands clutched at each other. "[I didn't...It was just a supposition...]"

"That was no supposition, shithead," replied Oscar. "You knew. That's because you got ahold of a chisel with a little bit of what you thought was my blood. I'm a little surprised you never thought of this."

Oscar held up his hands, rotating them to show that he held nothing in them. After a little magician's flourish, one of his hands was suddenly filled with a large chisel. He looked at the tool in mock surprise. "Huh. Where did that come from?" He made a tossing motion as if to throw the chisel up into the air, but of course it just vanished again.

By now Maria was more angry than nervous, thanks to her fellow human's theatrics. 'If you do the 'pull it from behind the ear' bit on me I will kick you," she said.

Oscar pulled the chisel back out of his sleeve. "Nah, I think Teriyaki gets the idea."

"[I still require a full explanation,]" said the Matriarch.

He gave her a slight bow. "[Certainly, Reverend Mother. See, I cut myself on one of these yesterday. I wanted to get a look-see into what kind of medical tech was at hand in the Temple."

"[You could have just asked to see our infirmary,]" said the Matriarch. "[Oh...I see, you wanted to keep Ter'yeik in the dark about your suspicions.]"

"Exactly. Or at least make it look like I was trying to keep it on the low-down. He knew about it anyway, though. He's a clever boy...aren't you Teriyaki?"

By now the Second Claw was almost prostrate on the floor, his feathers slumped in confused anguish. He gave a defeated trill but didn't respond otherwise.

Oscar turned back to Ck'Trrk'Ka. "Of course, there was no way I was going to leave a bit of my blood lying around here. Not when Maria had already been the target of a set-up. So when we headed off to the infirmary I palmed the chisel."

"[But I saw the moves you used just now,]" said the Matriarch. "[Ker'rill'ah would have seen you take the tool, and he would have told Ter'yeik.]"

Oscar laughed. "Yeah, slight-of-hand is usually pointless with you guys, what with your hella-fast reflexes. But a bit of distraction works wonders. Like, say, when you're smearing your own blood on your hand and waving it in someone's face."

Ck'Trrk'Ka shuddered. "[Please, don't say such things. So you replaced the original chisel with one covered with my fake DNA?]" She peered up at Rgrarshok. "[I wondered why you requested one of my feathers.]"

"[I appreciate your showing us such trust, Matriarch,]" replied the Captain. "[I'm sorry I couldn't tell you why we needed it, but we couldn't afford the Second Claw getting even a hint of our plan.]"

Ter'yeik gave a mournful wail and placed his wings over his head.

"We set up some cameras as well," said Oscar. "So we have some lovely video of Teriyaki sneaking in and stealing the planted chisel. We've got more footage of him using the blood from that to make another cloned skin-lump, thinking it was my DNA. He then switched it for the one he'd hidden earlier in the bowl of Green."

He folded his arms and sighed. "It wasn't a bad idea, really, not for something he came up with on the fly. It would appear as if I'd gotten so desperate to clear a fellow human that I'd tried to fabricate some evidence and gotten sloppy about it."

The Matriarch nodded her crest. "[Well. It does appear that my Second Claw is at least guilty of trying to frame both you and [Maria]. But this still doesn't answer what happened to the Claw of Ta'irrl'qc.]"

Oscar opened his mouth, but before he could speak everyone in the room started in surprise as the prone figure of Ter'yeik burst out in a loud wail. "[Reverend Mother, please forgive me! I merely wished to...hide the Claw, so that those heathen would not gaze upon the Final Sutra!]"

"We figured that was the initial motive," said Oscar. "But what we don't understand is what your game plan was after the theft was uncovered. You knew Hrathra and Maria would raise the alarm, right?"

Ter'yeik's arms still covered his face, and they quivered as he sobbed. "[I was planning to replace the Claw while we held them in custody. It would appear as a miracle, the will of Ta'irrl'qc made manifest.]"

Ck'Trrk'Ka strode over to her lieutenant and bapped her snout down into his head-shielding arms, which made her look like an angry hen pecking at seeds. He unfolded his arms just enough to peer up at her furious stare.

"[You have one chance to make this right. Where is the Claw?]"

"He doesn't have it anymore," said Oscar. "He would have put it back by now or 'discovered' it if he did. That guy who defected to the Thirty-Fourth Path, he took the Claw."

The Matriarch looked up at Oscar. "[Tk'rii'na?]" She glared back down at Ter'yeik. "[You let that feather-plucker steal the Claw?]"

"[He wasn't supposed to really steal it!]" moaned Ter'yeik.

"And the disciple who went in after him, she was involved too wasn't she?" asked Oscar. "We figure you needed two people to smuggle both the case and the Claw out of the Sanctum."

"[Ka'iirt is supposed to be out performing missionary work,"] said the Matriarch. "[But I imagine that little bit of paperwork has been forged.]" She reached down and hauled Ter'yeik to his feet by his lapels, then shoved her snout right against his. "[Or did you simply kill her?]"

"[What? No! I would never do something as horrible as that!]"

The Matriarch bared her fangs and growled, a subsonic noise of fury that vibrated right up through Maria's feet. "[No. I suppose you're just a stupid thief, not a murderer. You're in here every day, so why didn't you take the Claw yourself, you IDIOT?]"

The Second Claw looked like he was ready to climb out of his own skin. "[In case I was interrogated! I had to be able to honestly say that I'd never touched it!]"

Oscar sighed. "I was wondering why the theft took place so long before Hrathra got here. You were too clever by half. This scheme had way too many moving parts. Lemme guess...Mr. Feather-Plucker was the key person you needed. He was both pissed about Hrathra getting access to the Sanctum and he was devout enough that he could gain access and go 'commune' with it on relatively short notice."

Ter'yeik nodded, his crest drooping down the back of his neck.

"Which meant you were forced to operate on his timetable, not yours. And Ka'iirt was also down with committing some theft?"

He nodded again. "[Tk'rii'na and her were...close. He convinced her that to preserve our Path's piety a little theft was necessary. He took the Claw, and she took the case.]"

The Matriarch looked ready to take a wet chomp out of Ter'yeik's neck. "[Then they vanished along with the Claw?]"

"[Yes, Reverend Mother. Tk'rii'na made his defection public, so I couldn't conceal that. But I was able to forge the paperwork showing that Ka'iirt was off on mission work.]"

Her fury subsided for a moment as she cocked her crest. "[Wait. That means the Sanctum has been empty for [months]. Why didn't someone report the theft before now?]"

"Because you've kept the Final Sutra such a big damn secret," said Oscar.

Ck'Trrk'Ka let go of The Second Claw's lapels, and the dejected Karnakian thumped back onto the floor. "[But...Captain, you and I interrogated Ker'rill'ah together! He said it was there!]"

"[Did he?]" asked Rgrarshok. She gestured, and the recording drone overhead projected a beam of light which quickly expanded into a holographic display showing a nervous-looking, black-feathered Karnakian that Maria didn't recognize.

Rgrarshok's voice came from offscreen. "[And you saw nothing out of the ordinary?]"

"[Go ahead, Brother,]" said the recorded voice of the Matriarch.

The unfamiliar Karnakian paused and looked around, then finally spoke. "[All was as it should be in the Sanctum. Please, if I've given cause for disciplinary action I must know so that I may properly atone...]"

The projection winked out.

"[I see. He said all was as it should be,]" said the Matriarch. Her feathers fluffed out a little in irritation. "[He did not say that the Claw was there.]"

"And who's the first person that any disciple sees when they exit the Sanctum?" asked Oscar.

He pointed at Ter'yeik in a silent answer.

"I'll bet you got really good at the song and dance, eh?. The disciple comes belting out of the temple, all scared because the Claw is gone, only for you to give them a speech about how 'the true Final Sutra is in the heart' or some such."

"[And then he would swear them to secrecy,]" added the Matriarch. "[Our teachings say that each disciple must go through their own internal journey of discovery, so such an oath would appear sensible to our disciples.]"

"There is one big thing we still don't understand, Matriarch," said Oscar. "Maybe you can help us there. We expected the Thirty-Fourth Path to advertise the fact they now have the Claw. Even if they didn't make it public, their head person would have at least sent you a private message, right?"

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Ck'Trrk'Ka seemed to deflate, and Maria realized just how exhausted the Matriarch must be. "[Yes, that is curious. I've heard nothing from Ma'elge'yk, their Matriarch. She surely couldn't resist taunting me if she now possessed the Claw.]" She straightened up. "[We must go speak with her in person.]"

Maria blew out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "So we're in the clear?"

Rgrarshok nodded. "[You, Hrathra'sstah, and Resh'skk have been officially cleared of any charges regarding this matter, and we thank you for your patience. I know this must have been a very trying time.]"

"You got that right. Hey, boss?"

Hrathra's hood perked up. "[Yes?]"

"Can we splurge on separate hotel rooms tonight? You two are great friends, but if I have to spend one more night in the same room together with you I'm gonna go completely spastic."

----------------------------------------

Not only did Hrathra splurge, she splurged on getting Maria a room intended for Jornissians. While the snakelike aliens didn't bathe as often as humans, they did like to soak in warm water to aid in scale-shedding. That meant that Maria's room had a tub big enough to hold a major naval exercise. At the moment Maria floated in a lovely steamy bliss as she let the water wash away both the physical and mental crud that had built up over the last week.

Her commbead pinged, then Resh'skk spoke in her ear. "[Hey [Maria], are you willing to put up with our presence long enough to dine together?]"

"That depends. Is the Boss buying?"

"[Better. The Thirty-Third Path is buying.]"

Maria grinned. "In that case, order a bunch of lobsters for me." She held her breath and dipped below the water's surface, scrubbing at her scalp and face with her hands in one final if unnecessary cleaning.

Next to the tub lay several big fluffy towels and an equally fluffy white robe, both quickly-fabricated courtesies from the Karnakians running the hotel. Maria thought the gifts were nice enough to almost make up for being incarcerated.

The meal was great, even if the arthropod that passed for 'lobster' on this planet was a little strange-looking. Not two, but five of the 'lobsters' sat on a platter on a low table in Hrathra's room, surrounded by more dishes piled high with other food. By now Maria was also used to the sight of Jornissians eating. Compared to the Doroarizin, they were downright genteel in their table manners. The only off-putting part was the sheer size of what the aliens considered 'bite-size', but right now Maria didn't care. Her good mood continued even at the sight of Hrathra swallowing whole a chunk of meat the size of Maria's head. During the repast, the human managed to demolish one pseudo-lobster and do serious damage to a second.

"[Are you gonna finish those?]" asked Resh'ssk. He pointed to the other 'lobsters' on the table.

Maria patted her tummy in satisfaction. "I'm good. Knock yourself out." Within moments the rest of the pseudo-lobsters were gone.

"So what's the plan, Boss?" Maria was looking forward to some stress-free downtime. She had a lot of translations to finish, and the thought of shutting away the world and catching up on work sounded just fine to her.

"[The Dorarizin are heading off to, heh, 'speak" with the Thirty-Fourth Path about the theft,]" replied Hrathra.

"Yeah, and what does that have to do with us?" Maria's good mood evaporated as she realized the implication. "Aw, crap."

Hrathra looked apologetic, or at least as much as a huge viper-like alien could. "[They need an expert who can help authenticate the Claw once it's retrieved.]"

"[Just in case someone tries to pull a fast one with a nano-manufactured copy, eh?]" mused Resh'ssk.

Maria facepalmed. "So that means we have to put up with more crazy-dino religious stuff?"

"[The Matriarch will be accompanying us as well, so...yes,]" replied Hrathra.

"Of course she is. Anybody else coming along on this shindig that I should know about? A marching band, perhaps?"

"[Just the two guards. Oh, and the Second Claw.]"

"What? That bastard should be in jail!"

"[I'm not happy about it either, trust me. But the Matriarch is not pressing charges yet and she wants him along to give evidence when she confronts the other Path's Matriarch. He's been implanted with a transponder in case he tries to run."

Maria let out a grumble. "It sounds like the ship is going to be crowded."

"[Not as much as you'd think. Right now the Dorarizin are refitting the Claw's interior to make sufficient quarters for everyone. Rgrarshok keeps muttering about her ship turning into a 'moon-cursed dormitory'.]"

"That means we have some time before we have to leave, right?" Maria asked with a note of hope in her voice. Even a week to just relax by herself and get some actual work done would be a decent break.

"[Oh, certainly,]" replied Hrathra. "[I believe we're not departing until tomorrow.]"

So much for getting even a few days off. "Fuckin' nanotech," growled Maria.

Hrathra patted her shoulder. "[Don't worry, at least we won't be stuck in the same room together.]"

Maria snorted. "No, I'm just going to have to cuddle some huge werewolf dudes on the regular to keep some even huger werewolf ladies from freaking out and trying to adopt me."

Her boss rose from the low table. "[I'll return shortly. I think hanging out with a [human] for so long has made me adopt your bathroom habits.]"

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, powder your nose."

Hrathra slithered away with inhuman grace. Resh'ssk watched her leave, and Maria watched him watch her leave. He sighed and began to take a sip of water.

"You really should tell her how you feel, Reshy," said Maria.

Given that he was the size of a small car, the resulting spit-take from the ex-soldier was epic in scope. Water sprayed out in a wide arc as Maria flinched down to get clear of most of the blast.

After a moment of frozen did I do that?, Resh'skk went into action. He coughed and sputtered as he wiped his snout and front with a napkin. "[How...how did you know?]"

Maria mopped a bit of water from her own forehead. "Dude, we've been stuck in the same damn room for days on end. You think I don't see how you look at her?"

Resh'skk reached over and gripped her hand. "[Don't say anything. She can't know.]"

"What are you talking about? You're my friend. I'm not having you mooning around being all miserable for the rest of your life."

"[No, please!]" For the first time that Maria could remember, Resh'skk looked scared. "[It's...there's no way she'd think of me in that way. She's way too smart to fall for someone like me. I'm a meathead, a grunt.]"

Maria shook her head. "You are overthinking this. She's not stuck up at all, you know that."

"[Please, [Maria]. I beg you, don't say anything.]"

She stared back for a moment. "All right, how's this for a compromise? I'll keep my trap shut during our trip to go yell at the other bunch of crazy-cult birds. But after this whole mess is over, either you tell her or I will."

"[You wouldn't dare.]"

"Don't test me. I mean it, Reshy. I'm going to see you happy even if I have to drag you to Hrathra kicking and screaming. Well, at least screaming. I guess you're not built for the kicking."

----------------------------------------

Kgrashak looked up with mild interest as the sickbay door slid open and Oscar came scuttling around the edge. He pressed himself up against the wall next to the door as it slid shut. There were a few tears down one lapel of his jacket, tears with spacing corresponding to that of a Dorarizin's claws.

"[Ah, is it that time again?]" she asked. The medic leaned against the wall, a small but real-paper book held in one paw.

"What the hell's gotten into her?" Oscar's eyes were wide with panic, and he edged away from the door as if he expected it to bite him at any moment.

The medic looked down and restarted her reading. "[Myyreh missed the first time you did the 'Summary Thing', as Bgrarh puts it. Now she got to see you do it in person. She said something to me about it really getting her 'in the mood.]"

Oscar looked around the sickbay. There was no way he was going out that door. He pointed to the only other exit from the room. "Could you boost me to that grate?"

"[What is it with [humans] and crawling through ventilation ducts?]"

"It's tradition. C'mon, I'll buy you a pony. I hear they make pretty good eating."

Kgrashak didn't look up as she performed a crisp page-turn. "[I'm not getting involved in this. Besides, you couldn't fit through the duct anyway.]"

"Oh, fine." He peered closer at her reading material. "Wait. That's a human book. Where'd you get that?"

"[This is a medical text, one of many that I bought when we picked you up from [Earth]," she replied. "[I sensed I'd need a lot of these in the near future, and you have proved me quite correct. I sense I'll need to apply this knowledge in an hour or so, once Myyreh's through with you.]"

"Huh. You can read English?"

She tapped one of her temples. "[Implants, son. Now stop stalling and get back out there.]"

Oscar sighed and touched the door control. It slid open, revealing...nothing at all. He peered around the door jamb, making sure that only the merest sliver of his face would be visible to anyone in the corridor. The overhead lighting filled the corridor and showed absolutely nothing at all. It was completely innocent and empty; if the hallway was a person, it would be strolling along with its hands clasped behind its nonexistent back while whistling a jaunty tune.

Oscar didn't trust it for a second. He ducked back out of sight and slipped off his uniform's jacket, then balled it up into a wad. He took a few deep breaths, then tossed the jacket-ball out into the hall at about head-height.

At the same time he rolled out into the hallway at knee-height. Over his head a dark-brown streak of fur smacked into his decoy and went tumbling. Oscar got to his feet and sprinted down the corridor as he heard Myyreh's voice call out from behind him.

"[You better run, monkey...]"

Just as Oscar reached the junction of two corridors he heard the merest warning thump of paws landing on the deck behind him. He responded by doing a head-fake that would have done any NFL linebacker proud.

It worked almost perfectly; he faked left but went right as Myyreh's claw just caught his undershirt at the shoulder. The razor-sharp tip sliced through the tough fabric with ease. He didn't dare waste time checking himself for injury. His lungs burned as he sprinted for the door to his room.

He slapped the door control as he passed, and with another perfect head-fake he dove through the opening as the door slid open. Myyreh's leaping attack this time was close enough to make him feel the wind of her passing as he tucked and rolled into his quarters.

The door slid shut. Oscar stumbled to his feet and panted as he leaned against the door.

Maria looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. She was stretched out on his couch with her terminal propped up on her stomach. It looked like she was watching some sort of Elizabethan-era costume drama while working her way through a tub of popcorn.

"Are we under attack by pirates or something?" she asked.

Oscar wheezed as he got his breath back. "Nah, I just got myself voluntold for a little, um, playtime. Myra gets bored when we're underway, and a bored Myra is a frisky Myra."

Maria's eyebrow inched higher. "What does 'frisky' mean, exactly?"

Before Oscar could reply, a low voice sounded from outside the door.

"[Let me iiiiinnnn, little monkey. Or I'll huff, and I'll puff!]"

Oscar rubbed his forehead. "I never should have mentioned that story to her. Um, sorry for barging in like this."

Maria shrugged. "It's your quarters. I appreciate your letting me use it for my media time. I'm just glad I wasn't in the middle of a private moment. Maybe I should hang a sock on the door."

"That won't work, no doorknobs," said Oscar. As he spoke he took the opportunity to check his shoulder. In spite of the long gash on his undershirt, his skin underneath didn't have so much as a scrape. Myyreh still had surgical accuracy with her claws; she'd fully healed from the hideous injuries she'd suffered protecting him. "I'll just make sure to knock in the future."

The Dorarizin called through the door in a louder voice. "[The longer you deny me, my little monkey, the more I'll punish you.]"

Maria looked with mild interest at the door. "Oh, so when you say frisky, you really do mean, er...that?" She twirled her fingers towards each other in a vague but suggestive gesture.

For some reason Oscar felt a little embarrassed to admit it to a fellow human. "Yes, but it's not what you think. We really care for each other, it's not just sex."

"[Usually it's not just sex,]" said Myyreh's muffled voice. "[But right now he is so going to get it but good.]"

Maria shrugged. "Hey, whatever floats your collective boat. I'm a little surprised. I figured Oscar for being adventurous, not outright masochistic."

"Oh Myra says 'punish' but she's just exaggerating for comedic effect. Isn't that right, sweetie?"

"[There's only one way for you to find out, monkey. Open the door.]"

"You could just tear the door open," Maria called out to Myyreh as she turned her attention back to the movie.

"Nah, that would defeat the purpose of the game." He gave her his most winning smile. "I don't suppose I could ask you to go out and distract her while I make a break for it?"

Maria looked back over at him with a deadpan expression as she reached into her tub for more popcorn.

"No, I suppose not. There's no other exits. The ducts are out. I guess it's time to face the music."

He turned to face the door and squared his shoulders, then touched the door control. It slid open as he grinned even wider.

"Now sweetie, behave yourself in front of our guest..."

A paw grabbed the front of Oscar's shirt and yanked him out of the room like a hooked grouper. He managed to get out a single yelp before vanishing from view. Myyreh stuck her snout in the doorway and nodded cordially at Maria, who nodded back with equal politeness.

"Please don't break him too much," said Maria. "He did get me out of that jam with the Thirty-Third Path."

Myyreh grinned, her fanged mouth making her look like a Cuisinart with fur. "[I promise.]"

Maria un-paused the movie and munched some more popcorn as Myyreh withdrew and the door slid closed. She heard another yelp outside from Oscar, a yelp that quickly turned into a muffled moan.

"That there's one brave sonofabitch," she mused out loud as she chewed. "Crazy, but brave."

----------------------------------------

Captain Rgrarshok-of-Ngraz looked up as Ngralh entered the rec lounge. The table in front of her contained a Dorarizin-sized chessboard. In the last few years the [human] game became popular among the Senate races, and she was still getting a handle on the strategies involved.

"{Any luck?}" she asked as she moved a bishop.

Her XO collapsed into a squat on the other side of the chessboard. "{May the First Pack save me from ever again dealing with Karnakian religious bureaucracy. The Thirty-Fourth Path's Matriarch has been notified of our approach, and of who we have on board.}" He reached forward and moved one of his knights.

Rgrarshok smiled. "{Did you at least get to see her reaction?}"

He rubbed one of his ears. "{I heard it, which was enough. Her scream went right through my skull. Anyway, they insist we meet on neutral ground rather than their temple. There's a nearby space station that should work, and Ck'Trrk'Ka is agreeable as to the venue.}"

He paused as if he wanted to add something, but didn't speak further.

"{It's okay, Ngralh. You can talk to me.}"

Ngralh sighed. "{It's just that...why are we the ones shuttling these birds around? By the Pale Moon, we've solved the crime! Let the Karnakians chase down the Claw and figure out who to prosecute!}"

The Captain moved a pawn forward as she thought. "{It's more complicated than that. Both sects have significant political sway in the Diarchy, so the Senate has asked us to handle this until the Claw is back where it should be and any ruffled fur is smoothed over.}" She chuckled. "{Given how my superiors bent the rules for us to have a [human], I can't very well say no.}"

Ngralh stretched his arms over his head. "{I suppose not.}" The XO looked under the table and gave an annoyed flick of one ear. "{Speaking of our [human], I need to tell [Oscar] not to leave his clothes around.}" He reached down and pulled out a pair of small trousers. "{Wait. Why did he take off his pants? Oooohhh...}"

"{Yeah, I wouldn't blame him too much,}" said Rgrarshok. "{I think those got taken off for him.}"

Ngralh shook his head. "{I suppose I'll drop them by the gym later. Can't have one of our investigators wandering around without pants.}"

"{I checked, they're not in there.}"

"{Where are they this time?}"

She shrugged and started ticking off locations on her fingers. "{Let's see, so far they've used the Gymnasium, Hydroponics, Water Recycling, Sickbay, the Hangar, Main Engineering...by the Pale Moon, did I got an earful from Egwreh about that...they've done it here in the Rec Lounge at least three times, and I strongly suspect they've used Oscar's chair on the bridge. I don't have proof of that last one, though.}"

Ngralh stared at his Captain with increasing disbelief as she went through the list. "{By the First Pack! What's wrong with them?}"

"{Nothing. In Myyreh's case she's making up for lost time after, well, after her last relationship. As for [Oscar], I asked Kgrashak about it. Apparently [human] males are always in season. I think the two things together act as a feedback loop between them.}"

"{Really? They're in season all the time?}" Ngralh stared off into the distance as he thought. "{Huh, that sounds exhausting. Maybe that's why [humans] weren't that advanced when we found them. They kept getting distracted.}"